Saturdays in the Life
by halfbakedsourdough
Summary: Random Saturdays in the life of Meredith Shepherd. She experiences all the joys and challenges of being a wife, a mom, and a world class surgeon.
1. Freckles

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any character thereof. But I do claim the rights to Jacob and Emma Shepherd. Also, the following is complete and total MerDer fluff. **

I wake up early, not because I want to, but because I can feel someone looking at me…watching me as I sleep. It's kind of a weird feeling, and it would have scared me in the past. But now? Now it's a normal, everyday occurrence. I feel the blue eyes boring a hole in the back of my head and I turn my face to meet them. "Good morning, Big Guy," I say as I smile at the blue-eyed boy grinning back at me.

"Hi, Mommy," he says as he climbs next to me in the bed and pulls the covers over himself. He places his hands on my face and squeezes my cheeks. I smile.

"Jacob, why are you up so early?" I ask through my squished up face.

He giggles. "Daddy cooked breakfast for you. I'm s'posed to wake you up," he says as he now climbs on top of me.

"Daddy told you to wake me up?" I ask as I brush the dark hair off of his forehead.

"Yup, he said you were being a lazy bones this morning," Jacob says as he pushes my hand away from his hair.

I smile. "He did, huh?" I put my hands on his waist and tickle his stomach. He giggles and falls off of me and lays back down next to me on the bed.

"Stop, Mommy!" he shouts as he tries to squirm out of my grasp. I stop tickling him and touch his face.

"Hey Jake, guess what?" I say seriously.

He puts his head on the pillow next to me and smiles. "What?" he asks with a curious grin.

"You have a new freckle," I say as I press my forefinger lightly on his nose. "Right here. It's really cute."

He gasps. "What should we name it?" he asks as he rubs his finger over his nose.

I pause momentarily and look thoughtful as I try to come up with a good name. I smile. "Spiderman," I say seriously.

He giggles. " I already have one named Spiderman right here," he says smartly as he points to his chin. "How 'bout the Hulk?" he asks as he scrunches up his little freckled nose.

"Hmm…the Hulk it is then," I say as I pull him into me and hug him tight. "You're getting too big, you know that?"

He smiles. "I know, Mommy. Look how big my muscles are today," he says proudly as he stands up on the bed and flexes his arms for me.

"Wow, they're huge!" I say with a smile. "Almost as big as Daddy's."

He drops his jaw and then smiles. "Really?"

"Really," I say as I watch him jump off of the bed.

He runs to the door and yells back at me, "I have to go show Daddy!"

I laugh as I listen to his feet running down the stairs to the kitchen.

* * *

"You're doing it wrong, Mommy," Jacob says as he takes the fishing pole out of my hands. I laugh as I apologize for my lack of fishing skills.

"Sorry, Jake. I'm not very good at the whole fishing thing," I say as I smile down at the top of his head. He shrugs and walks away from me.

"Give me Emma," I say to Derek as I reach over to take the baby out of his arms. "Apparently I suck at fishing," I whisper to him as he places her against my chest. He smiles at me and kisses my lips quickly.

"It's ok," he says back to me. "We love you anyway." He kisses me again and walks over to the water where Jacob is standing.

I place Emma on my shoulder and walk over to the hammock under the big maple tree. I lay down with her on top of my stomach, her head resting on my chest. I can see she has put her thumb in her mouth and it makes me smile. I watch as the motion from the swinging hammock starts to put her to sleep. I rub circles lightly on her back with my palm. Her blue eyes begin to get droopy, and finally they stop opening all together. I sigh and close my eyes, too.

* * *

"Ouch!" Jacob shouts as I press the washcloth on his knee. He tries to push my hand away, but I don't relinquish my grip on the rag.

"Sorry, Jake, but I have to clean the dirt out before I can put on your Band-Aid," I say as I wipe the last of the blood off of his knee.

He wipes the tears off his dirt-stained face. "Can I have Batman?" he asks as he tries to stop crying.

I look in the medicine cabinet and pick out the bandage he asked for. "Hold still," I say as I spray some Neosporin on his cut. I place the Band-Aid on his leg and ask, "Do you want one of my magic kisses?"

He smiles. "Yes, right here," he replies as he points to his knee. I kiss his knee and suddenly he's not feeling anymore pain.

"Thanks, Mommy. You're a good doctor," he says with a smile before he puckers his lips up to kiss me.

I giggle at the way his face looks like a fish, and I give him a quick kiss before setting him back down on the floor.

He runs out of the bathroom and down the hall to the kitchen to get a juice box out of the fridge.

Derek walks in the bathroom and smiles. "Is he ok?" he asks with playful concern in his voice.

"Yep. It's amazing how a Batman Band-Aid and a magic kiss can make pain go away," I say with a grin. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. He presses his lips to mine and kisses me softly. "Emma sleeping?" I whisper into his ear.

He smiles. "Yes, finally. I had to rock her for thirty minutes before she would give it up," he says as he shakes his head. "You've really got her spoiled, you know." He kisses me on the lips again.

I giggle. "Sorry, can't help myself," I say as I pull out of his embrace.

He grabs my hand and makes me stop walking. "Where are you going?" he asks as he wraps his arms around my waist again.

I smile and say, "I'm going to make dinner." I giggle as I watch his face fill with concern. "What?" I ask sarcastically. "I can cook," I say as I wiggle out of his grip.

"Right," he mocks. "You're ordering pizza, aren't you?" He shakes his head and watches me leave the bathroom.

* * *

"Em, you have to stop wiggling," I say as I readjust her position once again in the baby bath. She smiles and splashes her closed fist in the water by her side. I giggle as I watch her reaction to the noise, and I lather the baby shampoo on top of her head. I cover her eyes as I pour water over her dark hair to rinse the suds out.

She cries when the liquid gets on her face.

"Sorry, sweetie," I say as I dry her face off with the bottom of my shirt. "You're too wiggly today." I quickly wash her body and rinse her off as her crying gets louder.

"What happened?" Jacob asks as he comes into the bathroom. I smile at how protective he is of her.

"Her face got wet," I say as I pick Emma up and place her on the hooded towel on the changing table.

"Oh," Jacob says as he touches Emma on her cheek. "She hates that," he says knowledgably. He makes a silly face at her and she stops crying. He runs out of the bathroom, and Emma starts crying again.

I giggle and dry her off as fast as I can. "Here, sweetie. This always makes it better," I say as I begin rubbing some lavender scented baby lotion on her chest. She stops crying and sticks her thumb in her mouth.

I smile as I feel Derek wrap his arms around my waist from behind me.

"You girls, ok?" he whispers into my ear.

I smile as I fasten the diaper on Emma and begin putting her pink pajamas on her. "We're great, right Em?" I say softly as I watch her shift her gaze from me to Derek. I zip her pajamas to the top and Derek reaches down to lift her up. He kisses her on her cheeks and smells her hair. I smile as he says, "Mmm…Em. Mommy used the good stuff tonight."

He carries her out of the bathroom and across the hall to her bedroom. I follow them and I kiss her on her head as Derek sits down to rock her to sleep for the night. "Night, Em," I say as I stroke her hair gently. I look at Derek and kiss him softly on the lips. My heart starts to ache as I watch him rock her to sleep.

* * *

"Bedtime," I say as I turn off the television in the living room. I roll my eyes as Jacob yells at me to turn the television back on.

I bite my lip as Derek says, "Jake, don't talk to your mommy that way. Bedtime, mister." I bend down as Jacob walks over to me and says, "Sorry, Mommy." I wrap my arms around his body and hug him tight.

"It's ok," I say into his ear. "Want a pony ride?" I ask. He smiles and climbs onto my back and wraps his arms around my neck.

I stop in front of Derek and he gives Jacob a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Big Guy," he says.

Jacob removes one of his hands from my neck and wipes away the kiss. "Daddy!" he shouts. "My kisses are for Mommy, not you," he says with a pouty lip.

I giggle as I see Derek's face get all pouty just like Jacob's. "Tell Daddy goodnight, Jake," I say as I try to hide my smile.

"Goodnight, Daddy," he says as he wraps his arms around my neck again.

"Night, Jake," Derek says as he winks at me with a grin.

I carry Jacob upstairs to his bedroom and toss him gently over my shoulder onto his bed. He laughs as he flops his head onto his pillow. I pull his comforter up over his chest and tuck it snugly under his armpits.

"Mommy," Jacob starts to say as I brush the hair out of his eyes.

"What?" I ask as I kneel down beside his bed.

He smiles and says, "Will you marry me?"

I giggle and say, "Yes, but don't tell Daddy, ok?"

Jacob squishes my cheeks between his hands and smiles. "Ok," he says as he starts to giggle.

"Night, Jake," I say as I give him kiss on the forehead.

"Night, Mommy," he says before turning over onto his side and closing his eyes. I stand up and I say "I love you," and I turn the lamp off before leaving the room.

* * *

I let out a loud sigh as I flop down on the bed next to Derek. "Having kids is exhausting," I say as I turn my body to face his. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly.

He smiles at me and says, "Tell me about it. Emma was up three times last night." He sighs and puts his chin on top of my head.

I moan. "Crap. It's my turn tonight?" I ask as I suddenly remember that it's my night to get up with Emma.

He laughs softly. "Sorry," he says as he rubs up and down my back with his hands. I look up at him and smile. "What?" he asks as my smile grows.

I giggle. "I'll give you sex if you get up with her tonight," I whisper into his ear. I giggle again as his eyes start to twinkle.

He smiles and presses his lips hard onto mine. "Deal," he says as he breaks off the kiss and rolls on top of me.

I laugh at how easily he gives in to my request, and I start to kiss him softly on his neck. I laugh again as he tries to stifle a yawn but fails.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" I tease as he starts to kiss my neck.

He laughs and says," No, but I'm doing it anyway."

I moan at the way his kisses make my skin tingle, and I say, "How about we take shifts with her tonight?"

He pulls his face away from my neck and looks into my eyes. He smiles at me and I can't help but smile back when he says, "Thank you."

He presses his lips onto mine and kisses me firmly. I close my eyes and run my hands down his chest. He stops kissing me long enough to say, "I love you."

I smile and say, "I love you, too."

**A/N: Please read and review. Thanks!**


	2. Sorry

I pry my eyes open as I feel Jacob tugging on my hand. "Come on, Mommy," he whispers as I rub the back of my free hand over my face. I turn to look at him and chuckle as I notice he is wearing only his Spiderman underwear and his hair is all messed up.

"Where are your pajamas, Jake?" I ask quietly as I sit up and get out of bed. He grins up at me and says, "They fell off." I shake my head as I giggle and tell him to go get dressed. I look over at Derek and sigh when I can tell he's not going to be awake anytime soon. "Late night," I say to myself when I realize I didn't hear Derek come home from work last night. I walk down the hall and open the door to Emma's room and can see that she's awake.

"Hey, Em," I say softly as I turn the lamp on next to her crib. I smile as she rolls over onto her back and reaches up for me. "Uh, yuck. You're wet this morning," I mumble as I pick her up and kiss her cheek. I carry her over to her changing table and take off her soaked pajamas.

I feel Jacob wrap his arms around my leg and I look down at him and smile. "Nice outfit," I say as I notice he is once again wearing his favorite blue Batman t-shirt that is a size too small. He laughs and starts to climb up the side of Emma's changing table.

"Can you pick Emma out some clothes for me?" I ask him as I fumble with the tabs on Emma's clean diaper. Jacob doesn't answer, but runs to the closet and grabs an outfit for his sister. He runs back to me and tosses the outfit on top of Emma's face. We both laugh as Emma pulls it off of her head and it makes her hair stick up like a porcupine.

"Who's hungry?" I ask as I pick Emma up and head downstairs for breakfast. Jacob smiles and hops down the stairs two at a time in front of me before shouting, "I win!" as he reaches the bottom. I roll my eyes and say, "You didn't tell me we were racing, Jake. No fair."

I buckle Emma into her highchair and begin mashing up a banana for her. I smile at her as she tries to pick up a Cheerio from her tray but it falls out of her chubby little fingers. Jacob laughs and says, "Like this, Emmy," as he expertly picks up a piece of cereal off of her tray and shoves it in his mouth. Emma's eyes watch him, and then she frowns when she realizes that her big brother stole her breakfast. She slams her hand down onto her tray and makes Cheerios fly onto the floor, making both of them giggle.

I shake my head and place a plate of blueberry Eggos in front of Jacob. He smiles up at me and shoves a forkful of waffle into his mouth.

* * *

"Hurry up!" Jacob shouts at me in frustration as he stomps to the front door.

I roll my eyes and say, "Hold your horses, I can't get this thing on." I reach around my back to grab the strap on the hiking baby carrier and finally manage to buckle it on the fourth attempt. I wonder to myself if Houdini invented this stupid thing that is now strapped to my back. I walk over to the kitchen table and scribble a note for Derek telling him we are 'exploring the wilderness'. I shove my pager and cell phone in my jeans pocket.

"Ready, Em?" I ask as I try to see her face behind me. She pulls on my ponytail and I can feel that she has stuck my hair in her mouth. "Gross, Emma," I mutter as I open the front door and Jacob runs out in front of me.

"Which trail today, Jake?" I yell to him as I take a hop to adjust the carrier on my back. He stops running and turns to look at me. "The one that goes by the lake," he says with a grin. I smile back at him because I know that's the path he always picks.

* * *

"Eat your sandwich," Derek says as he tries to get Jacob to sit still in his chair long enough to eat lunch. I sit down in the chair across the table from Derek and smile at him as he shoves a spoonful of strained peas into Emma's mouth. He glances over at me and catches me watching him. He grins at me and says, "What?"

I can't keep my smile from growing as my heart starts to speed up when he gives me 'the look'. "Nothing," I say dismissively with a wink. I groan as I hear my pager going off in my pocket. "Crap," I mutter under my breath as I stand up to call the hospital. I notice Jacob puts his head down onto his folded arms on the table when I say, "Prep the OR. I'm on my way," into the phone.

"Sorry, Jake. I have to go for a little while," I say as I bend down and wrap my arms around his stomach. I sigh when he doesn't say anything or look up from the table. I walk over and sit down in Derek's lap. I cup his face with my hands and give him a soft kiss on the mouth. I giggle when Emma yells "DaDa" at me and scrunches up her nose.

"I can kiss Daddy, too," I tell her with a wink as I give Derek another quick kiss. I stand up and walk over to her highchair and kiss the top of her head. She grabs a strand of my hair and I say, "Thanks a lot, Em," as I notice the glob of green goo she leaves behind. "I'll be back soon," I say as I walk by Jacob and muss the top of his hair up. I shake my head and sigh as he still doesn't respond to me.

* * *

I sigh as I flop myself down next to Derek on the couch. "Emma sleeping?" I ask as I wrap my arms around his stomach and lay my head against his chest.

"Yeah, for about an hour now," he answers as he kisses the top of my head.

"Is Jacob still mad at me?" I ask as I look up at Derek's eyes. He smiles lightly and says, "He was when I laid him down. But we talked about it some more."

I exhale and shake my head as I say, "How do we make a four year old understand?"

Derek runs his hands up and down my back as I try to force away the tears that I can feel stinging my eyes. "We can't," he admits softly into my hair before leaving a kiss there.

I bury my face into his t-shirt and poorly try to hide my tears.

Derek sighs and says, "Mer, you're not your mom, ok?" I hate that he can read my mind sometimes.

* * *

"Hey big guy, want some ice cream?" I say softly as I peek into Jacob's room. He sits up in bed and smiles at me.

"Hi, Mommy," he says as I sit down in front of him on his bed. I hand him a spoon and I pop the lid off the pint of strawberry ice cream.

"Don't tell Daddy," I whisper with a mischievous smile as we both dig our spoons in.

"I'm sorry I had to leave today," I tell him before I shove the spoon in my mouth.

He looks at my face for a long moment and says, "Did you fix them?"

I swallow my ice cream and force a smile out. "Yeah," I manage to say as I watch him chew on a frozen strawberry. I reason with myself that lying to him is ok because he's too young to know about things like pain and death and loss.

* * *

I feel Derek's eyes watching me as I take off my bra and change into my pajama shirt. I look up quickly at him and giggle as he tries to pretend he wasn't looking at me.

"Whatever, Derek," I say as I climb on top of him and straddle his waist. "I know you were watching me," I tease as I poke him in the ribs with my fingers.

He puts his hands on my waist and grins. "I can't help it, Mer. You're so beautiful," he says with a smile, and it makes my heart start racing. I can feel myself blushing, and I lay down on top of him so that I can kiss him.

He presses his lips gently onto mine and runs his hands up and down the length of my back. "Everything ok with Jacob?" he says softly into my ear. I sigh and roll off of him onto my side of the bed. "I guess. Until the next time I get paged," I say flatly as I brush the hair out of my face with my hand.

Derek turns his body to face me and he puts his arm across my stomach. "How's your patient?" he asks. I groan and wish he would just stop talking.

I shake my head as I say, "Couldn't save her. Too much bleeding." I close my eyes and try to force the memory out of my head but it doesn't work. I sigh and admit, "It never gets easier. She was only eight, Derek. Her parents…just…" I stop my sentence and let out a deep sigh.

Derek places his hand on my cheek and turns my head so I will look at him. "Mer, you know you can't save everyone," he says softly as he wipes a tear from the corner of my eye.

"I know, but feel like I should. It's not fair, Derek," I say as I turn my body and press up against him.

He smiles lightly at me and says, "I know. It's not fair, Mer." He lifts my chin up and he presses his lips down onto mine.

I kiss him back and grab his t-shirt in my hands. I deepen the kiss and want him to hurry up and make love to me so I can clear my head.

He pulls away from my kiss and smiles. "I love you," he whispers with his face two inches from mine.

I smile back at him and say, "I love you, too."

**A/N: Please be kind and review. Thanks!**


	3. Karma

I feel Derek climb into bed behind me and I try not to wake up. He runs his hands across my stomach and nuzzles his face into my neck. "What time is it?" I mumble as I halfway open my left eye.

"Four-thirty. Sorry, sweetheart. Go back to sleep," he whispers as he presses his body close to mine and kisses me on the cheek.

Suddenly, my heart starts to race and I sit straight up in bed. "Four-thirty? Crap!" I say a little too loudly. Derek looks at me like I'm crazy as I climb out of bed and rush out of the bedroom door. I run down the hall to Emma's bedroom and quietly open her door. I tiptoe next to her crib and place my hand down softly on her chest. I sigh a breath of relief at the feel of her chest rising and lowering, and I pull her favorite pink blanket back over her body before I go back to my bedroom.

"What the heck was that about?" Derek teases as I climb back into bed next to him.

I roll my eyes as I grin and say, "Emma. She slept all night. Sorry, it freaked me out."

Derek smiles and says, "Finally. That only took seven months. Hopefully it wasn't a fluke."

I press my body next to his and kiss him on the lips. "Good morning," I whisper with a sly smile.

Derek brushes a strand of hair from my eyes and says, "Good morning," and then "What do you want?" as he notices the grin that has crept across my face.

I run my hands up the inside of his t-shirt and across his chest. "Sex," I say softly. "I'm totally awake now thanks to you."

Derek laughs and rolls over on top of me. "Hmm…Sex, huh? I think I can oblige you this morning. Since it's my fault you're awake," he teases before he presses his lips onto mine.

* * *

"Shh…Jake, keep it down. Daddy's sleeping," I snap as I place Emma down on the floor. I sigh as Jacob ignores me and continues pounding on his play construction set. I lay down on the floor on my stomach in front of Emma. "Come on, Em. You can do this," I tell her as she rocks back and forth on her hands and knees. She smiles at me and raises one hand off the ground, but quickly puts it back down to its original position. I wonder to myself if she'll ever learn to crawl, or skip it altogether and go straight to running.

Emma flops down on her belly and rolls over onto her back. She notices Jacob's favorite Goodnight Moon book laying above her head, and she reaches for it, picking it up on the third attempt. Jacob runs over to her and grabs it out of her hand just as she is about to stick the corner in her mouth. "No, Emma!" Jacob shouts at her. Emma's face turns into a frown and she starts to cry.

"Nice, Jake," I mumble as I hand Emma a stuffed pony to chew on. "You know, there's a little thing called karma, Jacob. You better watch out," I tease.

Jacob looks at me and raises his eyebrows. "Karmas?"

I smile and say, "Karma. It means what goes around, comes around. If you're mean to Em, she'll get you back." I pick Emma up off of the floor because the pony did nothing to ease her crying. I rub her back and give her a kiss on top of her dark brown hair.

"She's just a baby," Jacob says as he rolls his eyes at me and tosses the book into his toy bin.

"Babies have feelings, too, Jacob. You have to be nice to your sister," I say before I blow a raspberry on Emma's cheek. "Come on, Jake. Help me clean up. We have to go to the store before Daddy wakes up." I place Emma in her playpen and pick up a handful of her toys.

"Daddy said he would take us fishing today," Jacob says excitedly. He starts quickly picking up his toys and tosses them into the bin.

I smile at him and say, "Sounds fun. Daddy worked all night, though. So it will be after lunchtime and naps before we can go, ok?"

Jacob shrugs and says "Ok."

* * *

"Jacob, please stop it," I grumble as I toss a bottle of maple syrup into the shopping cart. Jacob stomps his foot at me and says, "NO, Mommy!"

I can feel the heat rising to my face and I take a breath to regain my composure. "Jacob, I'm not playing with you. Act right or I promise I will tell Daddy. And you know what that means?" I ask with the sternest mommy face I can make.

"No fishing?" Jacob whispers as his eyes get wide with fear.

"No fishing," I confirm. "Now keep walking, mister, and don't ask for another thing." I begin pushing the cart again and Emma starts crying loudly for no apparent reason. I wonder if anyone would notice if I climb onto the shelf next to the blueberry PopTarts and just hid.

* * *

"Can I wake up Daddy now?" Jacob asks as he sits down at the kitchen table. I place a plate full of macaroni and cheese in front of him and shake my head. "Nope. After naps, remember? So eat your lunch, Jake, and we can go lay down," I tell him. I sit down next to Emma and place a yellow bib on her neck that says 'are these people really my relatives?' I spoon a glob of mashed sweet potatoes into her mouth and giggle at her reaction as her face contorts into a scowl.

Jacob looks over at us and asks if he can feed Emma. "Sure," I tell him as I offer him the spoon. He dips the spoon into the baby food jar and shoves it into Emma's mouth. She smiles at him and half the sweet potatoes run down her chin.

"Ew, gross," Jacob mumbles as he shoves another spoonful into her mouth. I laugh out loud as Emma sneezes and shoots orange goo all over Jacob's face. Jacob wipes his hand across his face and sticks his bottom lip out in a pouty way that reminds me of Derek.

"Karma, Jake," I tease with a grin. "Told you she'd get you back." I grab a napkin off the table and wipe his face clean for him. He sulks back to his seat and resumes eating his lunch. I giggle as I notice Emma's toothless, sweet potato covered grin. "That's my girl," I whisper as I give her a wink.

* * *

I crawl into bed next to Derek and wrap my arms around his waist. "Hmppph," he mutters.

"Naptime," I whisper as I lay my head down onto his chest and pull the quilt up to my armpit.

He pulls me in tight next to his body and goes back to sleep. I close my eyes and breathe in his scent before drifting off to sleep myself.

"Come on, Daddy! It's time to go fishing cuz I taked a nap already!" Jacob shouts as he jumps on top of Derek in bed. Derek moans and opens his eyes as he removes Jacob's feet from his ribcage.

"Ok, Jake. I'm getting up. Go get your boots on," he says as he picks up Jacob and sets him down on the floor. "You coming?" Derek whispers into my ear as he runs his hand up and down my back.

"Mmm…no. I'll meet you down there after Em wakes up," I mumble as I readjust the quilt on top of me. Derek kisses me on the cheek and gets out of bed. I close my eyes and go back to sleep.

* * *

I adjust the baby carrier on my back and say, "Ready, Em?" She says, "DaDa," and pulls on my hair.

I roll my eyes as we walk out of the house. "You know, Em, it would be nice if you actually tried saying MaMa for a change. Seeing how I'm the one who gave birth to you and all," I say sarcastically.

Emma pulls on my hair again and says, "DaDa." I giggle at her and say, "I know. He's your Prince Charming or whatever." We walk down the trail to the lake and Derek looks up from his fishing spot next to Jacob.

"Hey, there are my girls," he says with a bright smile. He puts his fishing pole down on the ground and walks over to us. He kisses me softly on the lips and then grabs Emma under the arms and takes her out of the baby carrier.

"Hey, Em," he says before he kisses both of her cheeks. She reaches up and grabs Derek's hair and shoves her drooling mouth onto his face. Derek laughs and wipes the drool off with his free hand. "Want to help Daddy fish?" he asks her softly as he walks back to Jacob.

I unhook the baby carrier from my back and toss it on the ground. I walk over to Jacob and plop down on the dirt next to him. "Any luck, Jake?" I ask as I run my hand across his hair.

He looks at me and smiles. "Yep. I caught one this big," he says as he stretches his arms as far apart as they will go, "but we throwed it back."

I grin and say, "Really? That big, huh? Why'd you throw it back?"

Jacob looks at Derek and says, " Cuz it looked like a grandpa fish. And grandpa fish deserve to not be eaten, right Daddy?" He grins broadly at Derek and then at me.

"Right, Jake," Derek nods as he shifts Emma into his other arm. "What is Mommy feeding you, Em? You feel like you've gained ten pounds since yesterday," he says softly as he kisses her on the forehead. Emma smiles at Derek and says, "DaDa."

I roll my eyes and giggle as I say, "She is so in love with you."

Derek smirks and says, "Jealous?" I giggle again and say, "Maybe."

* * *

"Done eating, Jake?" I ask as I collect the dirty plates off the kitchen table. He rubs his belly and smiles. "Yep, I'm full, Mommy. Can we watch the movie now?" he asks as he jumps into Derek's lap.

Derek smiles and says, "What did you pick tonight, Jake?" He looks at me and rolls his eyes because we both know what we are going to have to watch for the thousandth time.

Jacob giggles and says, "Lightning McQueen! Come on, Daddy." He wiggles off Derek's lap and grabs his hand as he tries to get Derek to stand up.

"Coming girls?" Derek asks sarcastically as he follows Jacob into the living room.

I giggle and say, "Yeah, let me finish cleaning up and then we'll come watch it with you." I grab a washcloth out of the drawer and get it wet. "Hold still, Em," I say as I wipe her dinner off of her face. "Gross, Em. You need a bath," I tell her as I notice that she has strained corn in her hair. I toss the washcloth into the sink and pick Emma up from her highchair.

* * *

"Here," I say as I place Emma into Derek's lap. He smiles as he grabs her and smells her hair. "Mmm…Emma, you smell so good. Mommy gave you a bath," he whispers. Emma lays her head down onto Derek's chest and sticks her thumb in her mouth. He rubs lazy circles on her back as he sticks his nose into her wet hair.

I plop down on the couch next to Jacob, and he climbs onto my lap. He reaches his arms around my neck and gives me a hug. "Mommy, what took you so long?" he asks as he studies my face for a moment.

"Sorry, Jake. Emma was a mess. She needed a bath," I whisper as I turn him around so he can finish watching the movie. He presses the back of his head onto my chest and wraps my arms around his waist. I smile as I kiss him on the cheek.

* * *

"Night, Jake," Derek says softly as he tucks the blanket around Jacob's chest.

"Goodnight, Daddy," Jacob answers as he rolls over onto his side. Derek turns the light off and follows me into Emma's room.

"Want me to rock her?" he asks as he rubs his hand down my back. I smile at him and hand him Emma.

"I'm going to go soak in the tub for awhile," I say. I kiss Emma on the cheek and tell her goodnight. Derek smiles at me and sits down in the rocking chair with Emma. I bend over and kiss him on the lips. "Don't take all night," I whisper into his ear. He grins at me and wraps Emma's pink blanket around her and begins to rock.

* * *

I close my eyes and lay my head back onto the tub. I hear the bathroom door open and I look over.

"Hey," Derek says softly. "Room in there for me?" he asks as he walks over and kneels down next to the tub.

I smile at him and say, "Kids asleep?" He stands up and takes his t-shirt off. "Yeah, they both crashed pretty easily tonight," he says as he kicks off his shoes and finishes undressing.

He climbs into the tub across from me, and I place my feet onto his chest. He grabs my left foot and starts rubbing it with his thumbs.

I moan and close my eyes. "Thank you. God, that feels good, Derek," I whisper. He smiles and continues rubbing my foot for a few silent moments before switching to my right foot. "I'm going to have to keep you around for awhile. You're getting pretty good at the foot rubbing thing," I tease.

Derek drops my foot and places his hands behind my knees. He pulls my body to his and I wrap my legs around his waist. He kisses me hard on the lips and runs his hands up and down my back. I moan into his mouth at the feel of his hands on my skin.

He breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes. "I love you," he whispers.

I smile and wrap my arms around his neck. I kiss him softly and say, "I love you, too."

**Reviews are love, people. Want me to continue with this one? Let me know what you think. Thanks as always for reading and reviewing.**


	4. False Alarm

I wake up and roll over to check the time on the alarm clock on the nightstand. I mumble 'crap' as I realize I still have thirty minutes to sleep before I actually have to be awake for the day. But here I am, wide awake at five o'clock on a Saturday morning. I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get changed and ready for work.

* * *

I walk quietly past Emma's bedroom, and I can hear her babbling in her crib. I open her door, and she rolls over to look at me. "Morning, Em," I say softly as I pick her up and carry her over to the changing table. She grabs a strand of my hair as I bend over to change her diaper. "What were you talking about in your crib, huh?" I whisper before I place a quick kiss on her lips.

Emma smiles and presses her hands together as she says, "DaDa."

I roll my eyes and pick her up. "It's always DaDa with you, Em," I say sarcastically. "Want some milk this morning, sweetie?" I ask as I carry her down the stairs and into the kitchen. I grab a bottle of baby formula out of the fridge, and she snatches it out of my hands and shoves it in her mouth. I giggle and say, "Ok, guess you don't want it warmed up today." I carry her back upstairs and lay her down on the bed next to Derek.

"Hey, I gotta go, Derek," I say softly as I run my hands across his shoulders. "Derek, wake up."

Derek rolls over and pries one eye open to look at me. "I'm awake," he mumbles as he closes his eye.

I giggle. "Derek, really. I have to go, and Emma's in bed next to you. Don't squish her," I say before pressing my lips down onto his in a soft kiss.

Derek opens both eyes and smiles at me. "Have a good day at work. Call us later," he whispers. He rolls over and kisses Emma on the head. "Hey sweetpea," he says softly to Emma.

"Bye, Em," I say as I walk out of the bedroom and head to work.

* * *

I walk into the residents' lounge and toss my bag onto the floor in front of my locker. I quickly change into my scrubs and shove my clothes into my locker before slamming it closed.

"What's with you?" I hear Cristina ask as she walks into the lounge and sits down beside me.

I sigh and shrug my shoulders. "I hate working on Saturdays," I grumble.

Cristina raises an eyebrow at me and smirks. "Aww…You miss the little pod people, don't you?" she says sarcastically.

I glare teasingly at her and say, "Shut up. Page me when you go to lunch. I need to talk to you." I stand up and walk out of the lounge to begin my first surgery of the day.

* * *

"So, what's up?" Cristina asks as she plops her tray down next to mine and sits down at the lunch table.

I finish chewing my bite of salad and swallow. I stare at Cristina for a moment before shaking my head.

"Oh, God. Mer, what's wrong?" she asks as she notices my worried expression.

I exhale and say, "Look. You can't make a face or react in any way other than being supportive, ok?" I place my hands on the back of my neck and begin to rub nervously.

"Ok," Crisitina agrees. "Meredith, what is it?" She studies my face as I try to decide the right words to say.

"I'm late," I blurt out before shoving my face into my hands to avoid her expression.

Cristina pauses for a moment before saying anything. "Oh, Mer. How late are you?" she asks as she touches her hand to my arm.

I drop my hands from my face and wipe away a tear that has managed to escape. "Five days, I think. Maybe six. But I'm never late, Cris. Ever," I say disgustedly as I cross my arms across my chest.

"Does Derek know?" Cristina asks before she takes a small bite of her sandwich.

"No, I didn't want him getting all…emotional and excited or whatever. I don't know," I admit. I pick up my fork and begin poking at my salad.

"Do you want me to do a blood test?" Cristina asks. I shrug my shoulders and continue stabbing my food. "Look, Mer. There's no sense in freaking out about it if you're not even pregnant. Just let me take some blood, and you'll know for sure one way or the other." She raises her eyebrows at me and nods slightly.

I sigh and drop my fork down onto my plate. "Fine. God, Cris. What if I'm pregnant? I barely have time to be with the two kids we have, let alone another baby." I blink quickly to prevent the tears I feel stinging the back of my eyes from falling.

Cristina shakes her head and says, "I don't know, Mer. But you and Derek will figure it out. You'll make it work, just like when you found out about Jacob. Remember how freaked out you were about him?"

I snort and say, "God, don't remind me. That was a really embarrassing freak-out on my part."

Cristina rolls her eyes and laughs. "Definitely. So, I thought you were on the pill?" she pries.

I groan and say, "I am. But I missed two days when I did my forty-eight hour shift last month. Completely forgot about it until it was too late." I take a bite of my salad. "So what's on your schedule the rest of the day?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.

Cristina moans and flops back against the back of her chair. "I'm stuck in the clinic unless an emergency shows up. You?" she asks before tossing a potato chip in her mouth.

I smile sheepishly and say, "Double bypass surgery. Solo."

Cristina tosses her bag of chips down on her tray. "I hate you. You get that, right?" She shakes her head at me while I giggle.

"Whatever. Hurry up and eat so you can stick me with a needle," I tell her with a smirk.

* * *

I take my cell phone out of my pocket and dial my home number.

"Hey, sweetheart. I was wondering if you were going to get a chance to call us today," Derek says.

"Yeah, it's been busy. I just wanted to call before I go into surgery again. Double bypass, so it might be late when I get home," I say as I sit down on the couch in the lounge.

"Want me to wait up?" Derek asks.

"Yeah. There's something we need to talk about. So wait up, ok?" I say. I begin kneading the fabric of my scrub pants in between my fingers nervously.

"Ok. Here, Jake wants to talk to you," he says. I hear muffled sounds as the phone is passed to Jacob.

"Hi, Mommy," Jacob says sweetly into the phone.

"Hey, big guy. You having fun with Daddy today?" I ask. I giggle when Jacob starts telling me a story about Derek catching the toast on fire at breakfast.

"So are you coming home soon, Mommy?" he asks.

I set my head back onto the couch and say, "No, Jake. I have to go fix a man's heart. It takes a long time. You'll be in bed when I get home. I'll kiss you when I get there, ok?"

I close my eyes when Jacob doesn't answer me. I can hear him giving the phone back to Derek.

"Still there?" Derek asks.

"Yeah. He's mad at me. Again," I mumble. I shake my head as the thought of having another baby pops into my consciousness.

"Don't worry about it, Mer. He'll get over it," Derek tells me.

I roll my eyes and wipe a tear off my cheek. "Easy for you to say, Derek. He never thinks twice about you working late or getting called out," I grumble into the phone.

"Mer, its because you're his mom. He wants you all to himself, that's all," Derek explains.

I sigh and snap unintentionally, "Whatever. That doesn't make me feel any better. I'm always the bad guy, Derek." I run my hand through my hair as I stand up. "Look, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, ok?" I say as I walk out of the lounge.

"Ok," Derek says. "Mer, I love you."

"Love you, too," I say softly before flipping my phone shut and shoving it back into my pocket.

* * *

"So did you pick up the results yet?" Cristina asks as I walk past her on the way to the OR.

"Yeah, they're in my pocket. Folded up," I admit as I keep walking.

"So what, you're not going to look at them?" she asks as she hurries to keep up with me.

"Nope. I'm not," I say. Cristina grabs me by the arm and makes me stop walking.

"Meredith. You have to look. You're freaking out and there might not even be a reason for it. Want me to look for you?" she asks.

I sigh. "No, Cris. I'm waiting until I get home. If I look now and it says I am pregnant, then I will have a complete breakdown right here. And that's not something I want to happen right before I perform a double bypass on Mr. Richards, ok?"

Cristina grins. "Well, I could perform your double bypass for you. So go ahead, Mer. Read the results."

I giggle and say, "Forget it, Cris. You're not getting my surgery because I'm not going to freak out. At least not yet, anyway. I'll call you later tonight after I talk to Derek."

* * *

I open the front door of our house and walk in. All of the lights are off downstairs, so I hang up my coat and bag and head upstairs. I open Jacob's door and walk over to his bed. He is curled up with his arms tightly hugging his favorite stuffed puppy. I lean over and kiss his forehead. "Night, Jake," I whisper as I stand up and leave his room. I walk down the hall to Emma's room and open the door. I can hear soft snoring as I enter and walk over to her crib. I pull her pink blanket back up over her body and run my hand across her hair. "Night, Em," I say softly. I walk out of her bedroom and down the hall. As I open the door to my bedroom, I see Derek sprawled out on top of the bed asleep. "Nice. Thanks for waiting up, Derek," I mumble grouchily to myself. I grab a t-shirt and pair of pajama pants out of my drawer and change quietly. I pick my jeans up off the floor and take the test results out of the pocket and toss them onto my pillow. I crawl into bed and sit with my back against the headboard for a moment before I lay my body next to Derek's.

"Hey," I say softly as I run my hand across his back. "Derek, wake up." I scoot closer to him and kiss his cheek until he opens his eyes.

"Hey, when did you get home?" he whispers as he rolls his body over and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Just now. I thought you were waiting up for me," I say as I unintentionally stick my bottom lip out in a pout.

Derek smiles. "Sorry, the kids wore me out today. I swear we walked on every trail out there this evening," he admits with a grin.

I press my forehead against his and close my eyes. I remain silent as I cup his face with my hands and kiss him softly.

He pulls away slightly and studies my face for a moment. "What's wrong?" he asks.

I take a deep breath and exhale as I entwine my right hand with his. "I…think I might be pregnant. I'm late," I say softly. Derek doesn't say anything for a moment and then he asks, "Have you taken a test?"

I nod and show him the folded up piece of paper that was laying on my pillow above my head. "Yup. I'm too scared to read it," I whisper. I can feel tears starting to form and I blink to make them disappear.

Derek pulls me tight again and presses his lips to my forehead. "Mer, why are you scared? You're a great mom, you know that, right?" he asks.

I shake my head and say, "It's not that. I just…I can't handle another baby, Derek. Emma's still so little. She's still a baby. And Jake…he already makes me feel guilty about not having enough time for him. How could I possibly have another baby and still have any time for Jake?" My breath hitches in my throat and I can't stop the tears from falling.

Derek runs his thumbs across my cheeks to wipe the tears away. "Mer, stop. You are a great mom. Jake just doesn't like sharing you. I told you that. He's a mama's boy. He loves you like crazy. You could spend twenty-four hours a day with him and it wouldn't be enough for him."

I exhale deeply and hand Derek the paper. "Just read it," I tell him. I cover my eyes with my hands while he unfolds the paper and reads it.

"Mer," he says. "Mer, it's negative. You're not pregnant." He puts his arms around me again as I start to cry. "Hey, why are you crying?" he asks as he rubs my back with his hands.

I pull out of his embrace and look in his eyes. "Because, I know you would have been happy. I know you're disappointed, Derek."

Derek chuckles and wipes my face with his hand. "Mer, are you crazy? Two kids is all I want. They're all I can handle. I mean that. Our family is perfect just the way it is," he says.

I sigh and tuck my face into his neck. "I thought you wanted a big family…like five kids or something," I say softly.

Derek laughs and says, "I did. Before Emma came along. Now it's all I can do to keep up with those two when you're not here. Meredith, I'm serious. No more kids. Unless you want more, and then we'll talk about it." He kisses the top of my head and hugs me tight.

"Ok," I whisper. We lay silently for several moments before we hear Emma start to cry.

"I'll get her," I say as I pull away from Derek's embrace.

"You sure?" he asks as he watches me get out of bed.

"Yeah, I missed her today," I say as I leave the bedroom.

* * *

"Hey, Em. What's wrong?" I ask as I pick her up out of her crib. I set her down on the changing table and quickly change her diaper. "That better?" I say as I zip up her pajamas and pick her up. I carry her over to the rocking chair and sit down with her. She lays her head on my chest and shoves her thumb into her mouth. I kiss her on top of her brown hair and say, "I'm not a bad mom, am I, Em?"

Emma lifts her head up and looks at me. She takes her thumb out of her mouth and says, "MaMa."

I can't help but giggle a little as I look at her blue eyes staring up at me. "Thanks, Em," I say. "I needed that." I kiss her on her forehead, and she lays her head back down on my chest. I rock her until she falls back asleep, and I lay her down in her crib.

* * *

I crawl back into bed next to Derek and lay my head down on his back. He wakes up and rolls over to face me. "Is she ok?" he asks as he wraps his arms around my stomach.

"Yeah, she's good. She said MaMa," I say with a smile.

Derek grins at me. "Really?"

I nod and give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"So, are you alright?" he whispers as he runs his hands down the length of my back.

"Yeah, I'm good. No more freaking out tonight, promise," I say softly.

Derek laughs. "Good. Because I have other things on the agenda," he whispers as he begins to place kisses down my neck.

"Oh, we have an agenda, do we?" I tease.

Derek stops kissing and looks up into my eyes. "Oh, yes, Dr. Shepard. We definitely do," he says seductively before resuming his trail of kisses.

I giggle and lift his face up to look at me. "Derek," I say softly, "I love you."

He smiles at me and kisses me on the lips before saying, "I love you, too. Now, back to the agenda."

**Thanks to all of you who have left such positive reviews. I'm really enjoying writing this fic, and it makes me happy to know you are enjoying reading it. This chapter wasn't as fluffy as the others, but I think it was my favorite to write so far. Thanks in advance to those of you who choose to review. It really does make my day brighter!**


	5. Surprise

"Mommy. Wake. Up," Jacob whispers as he pries my eyelids open with his tiny fingers.

I groan and mumble, "Stop it, Jake. I'm tired. Wake up your dad." I push his hands away from my face and close my eyes.

Jacob lays his body down on top of mine and begins to pout. "I don't want Daddy. I want you. Wake up, Mommy. I'm hungry," he says slightly above a whisper as he cuddles down on top of me.

I sigh and wrap my arms around his waist. "Fine. I'm getting up," I say reluctantly.

Jacob climbs off of me and jumps down onto the floor with a huge mischievous grin on his face.

"What's that look for?" I say with a smirk as I notice Jacob's expression. I climb out of bed and stretch my arms above my body.

He giggles and says, "I cooked you breakfast, Mommy. Come see." He grabs my hand and drags me out the bedroom door and down the stairs.

"You cooked, Jake?" I ask nervously as I wonder what lies in store for me as we approach the kitchen.

Jacob opens the kitchen door and shouts, "TA DA!"

My eyes scan the kitchen as I notice the mess Jacob has created while making his 'surprise' breakfast. "Wow, Jake. You did all this?" I ask with a smile as I sit down at the kitchen table.

Jacob grins and places a plate with a smooshed peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some grapes in front of me. "Yep," he says proudly. "Want some juice, Mommy?" he asks as he grabs a cup out of the dishwasher.

"Love some," I say with a giggle. I hold my breath as he grabs the carton of orange juice out of the fridge and pours it into my cup.

"Oops, sorry," he says softly as the juice overflows and spills onto the table. "I'll clean it up, Mommy." He grabs a towel out of the drawer and dries up the juice.

I smile at him and say, "You're kind of an awesome chef, you know that, right?" I pick up the sandwich and take a bite. Jacob watches my face for a reaction, and I say, "Mmm…wow. Best PB&J I've ever had. Good job, Jake."

Jacob smiles at me and sits down next to me at the table.

"Want some of my sandwich?" I ask as I tear the bread in half.

He grins and takes the sandwich from me and shoves a big bite in his mouth. "Thanks, Mommy," he says while chewing. I giggle and shake my head at him.

We both look up as the kitchen door opens and Derek walks in with Emma.

"What's all this?" Derek asks as he looks at the peanut butter and grape jelly that is smeared all over the counter. He walks over to Emma's highchair and sits her down in it.

I smile and say, "Jake cooked me breakfast."

Derek raises his eyebrows and says with a hint of disappointment in his voice, "Really? Where's mine? Don't tell me I have to eat cereal again, Jake."

Jacob grins and jumps out of his seat. "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll make you breakfast, too. Mommy says I'm an awesome chef." He runs over to the counter and takes two slices of bread out of the package.

Derek laughs. "She does, huh?" He walks over to me and kisses me softly on the lips. "Morning," he whispers.

I smile up at him and grab his waist, hugging his stomach tight next to my face.

"What time did you get home last night?" he asks as I release him from my hug and he sits down across from me at the table.

I roll my eyes and say, "Three this morning. We had some complications in surgery. I thought I was going to be in the OR all night."

Derek shakes his head at me. "So you've had what, three hours of sleep, Mer? Why didn't you wake me up so you could sleep in?" he asks as Jacob plops a plate with a sandwich on it in front of him. "Thanks, Jake," he says with a grin.

"Jake cooked me a surprise breakfast. I couldn't sleep through that," I say as I smile at Jacob. "Besides, I plan on taking a long nap with Emma later, right Em?" I break off a tiny piece of bread and hand it to Emma. She shoves it in her mouth, and then spits it out and shouts at me.

I giggle and say, "Ok, so you don't like PB&J for breakfast. Want some oatmeal?" I stand up and walk to the counter and make her a bowl of oatmeal with mashed bananas. I sit back down and shove a spoonful into her mouth.

Jacob puts his hand over his eyes and says, "Yuck. That's certainly disgusting," as he notices the oatmeal running out of Emma's mouth.

Derek and I laugh at his choice of words this morning.

"So, are we still on for tonight?" Derek asks before taking a bite of his sandwich.

I smile at him and raise my eyebrows as I say, "You mean our hot date? Looking forward to it." I give him a wink and then laugh as I notice Jacob putting his other hand over his eyes and muttering 'gross' under his breath.

* * *

"Mer, why don't you go upstairs and lay down?" Derek says softly as he rubs circles on my back as I lay on top of him on the couch.

I moan and press my face into his t-shirt and mumble, "You're too comfortable. I don't want to move." I wrap my arms around his waist and close my eyes. "Besides, it's only like ten o'clock or something. Too early for naptime," I say softly as I stretch my legs out against Derek's.

Derek kisses me on top of my head. "Mer, really. We're just going to be hanging out inside today. It's raining like crazy out there. Go get some sleep. You're exhausted," he insists.

I sigh and push my body off from his and grumble, "Fine. Don't let me sleep all day though, ok? You know how I am when it's raining. I'll never wake up on my own." I press my lips to his and kiss him softly before standing up.

Derek smiles at me and promises to have Emma wake me up after her nap.

* * *

I feel something warm and wet on my face and I open my eyes. I smile and wipe the baby drool off my cheek as I pull Emma on top of my chest. "Hey, Sweetie," I say as Emma bounces on top of me.

Derek lays down on the bed next to me and kisses me on the cheek. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty," he whispers as he runs his hand across my stomach.

"Mmm…what time is it?" I ask as I look out the window and notice the sky is still black with rain.

Derek props his head up onto his hand and says, "Four o'clock." He scrunches up his face into a frown and I can tell something is wrong.

"What is it?" I ask reluctantly.

Derek sighs and says, "Izzie called. She's stuck with the pager this weekend because George got sick. So no baby sitter tonight."

I mutter, "Crap." I tickle Emma under the chin and she squirms out of my grip and lands between Derek and me. She crawls up next to Derek's chest and pulls at his shirt. "I'll find us a baby sitter," I say as I sit up against the headboard and reach for my cell phone on the nightstand.

Derek raises his eyebrows at me and says, "This late in the day? You're not going to find anyone." He picks Emma up and rolls her over onto her back before kissing her belly.

I smile and say, "I can. Cristina owes me. I gave her my surgery Thursday because she was all mopey and sad or whatever. She'll do it."

I start to dial her number and Derek teases, "Uh, you really plan on leaving our precious innocent children with Cris? She'll warp them and turn them into cynical little short people with bad attitudes who say 'crap' all the time. I don't want Emma's third word to be 'crap'."

I giggle and finish dialing Cristina's number as Derek picks Emma up and leaves the bedroom.

"Hey, Cris," I say as Cristina answers the phone.

"Hey, Mer. Do you know how to cook asparagus in the microwave?" Cristina asks seriously.

I scrunch up my forehead and say, "Um…no. I don't even know how to cook asparagus the legal way or whatever." I giggle as she mutters 'crap' and then I say, "Uh, so what are you doing tonight, Cris?"

She sighs into the phone and says, "Nothing. Probably just doing something involving alcohol and the television."

I smile. "How about repaying me for the bypass surgery I gave you?" I ask sweetly.

Cristina groans. "Oh god. What do you want, Mer?"

"Watch my kids tonight," I blurt out.

"Watch them do what?" Cristina cracks.

I roll my eyes and say, "No smartass. Watch them. As in baby sit them. Come on, Cris. You _so_ owe me. Please. Pretty please."

Cristina sighs heavily into the phone and says sarcastically, "You want me to baby sit your little pod people? All night? By myself? You're kidding, right?"

"Come on, Cris. It'll be fun. Jake misses you. Seriously. You haven't seen him in two weeks. And Emma will probably be asleep the whole time. Please? Derek and I haven't been out alone in like three months. And stupid Izzie cancelled on us at the last minute," I plead before sighing pathetically into the phone.

Cristina groans again and says, "God, fine. Just stop begging already. It's annoying. I'll be over in a few hours."

I smile wide and tell Cristina thanks before hanging up.

* * *

"Guess what, Jake?" I say excitedly as I walk into the playroom downstairs.

Jacob looks up from his Legos and says, "What?"

"Aunt Cris is coming over to play with you tonight while Daddy takes me out," I tell him. I giggle as I notice the look of concern sweep over Derek's face.

Jacob shouts, "Hooray!" and runs out of the playroom and up the stairs.

Derek shakes his head at me and says, "Uh, are you sure this is a good idea, Mer?"

I laugh and shrug my shoulders. "It'll be fine. Seriously. It's only for a few hours, Derek. And she's watched Jake before. He loves her. Relax," I assure him.

Jacob runs back into the room, and Derek and I both laugh at his appearance.

"Do you think Aunt Cris will play surgery with me?" Jacob asks from behind his surgeon's mask as he holds up the bag of toy surgical instruments Cris gave him for his last birthday.

Derek groans and says, "I'm sure she will, buddy. Just no operating on your little sister, ok?"

Jacob sighs and says, "Aw, man. What will we operate on then?"

I pick up one of Emma's stuffed cats and toss it to Jacob. "Fluffy's bleeding internally, Dr. Shepard. I think she definitely needs some surgery," I say seriously.

Jacob giggles and shoves Fluffy into his doctor bag before looking in Emma's toy box for more possible surgical candidates.

"I'm going to go shower and get dressed," I whisper into Derek's ear as I walk past him. He grabs my arm and pulls my body next to his. "Thanks for getting a baby sitter, Mer," he whispers before kissing me softly on the lips.

* * *

Jacob runs to the door when the doorbell rings. "Aunt Cris!" he shouts as he flings open the door.

"Hey, Munchkin," Cris says with a smile as Jacob wraps his arms around her legs. "I brought pizza."

Derek walks over to Cristina and takes the box of pizza from her arms and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before saying, "Thanks, Cris."

I giggle as I watch Cristina roll her eyes and mutter 'whatever' to him while trying to hide a smile.

"So, Emma's asleep," I say as I pull my coat over my shoulders and shove my arms in. "It should just be you and Jake all night. Unless Em wakes up. And then she usually just wants her diaper changed and rocked back to sleep, ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. Got it. We'll be fine, Mer," Cristina says sarcastically.

I bend down and give Jacob a kiss and tell him to 'be good'. Derek walks up next to me and wraps his arm around my waist.

"We won't be too late. I better not find any tatoos on the baby when we get home," he says to Cristina as she rolls her eyes at him. "Ready, Mer?" He leads me towards the door and opens it for me. As we walk out and close the door, he grabs me and pulls me into his chest and kisses me hard on the lips. "Mmm…I have you all alone for the whole evening, Dr. Shepard," he whispers as he breaks away from the kiss.

I giggle as I hear Cristina shout, "We can see you, you know. Are you trying to make us throw up?"

* * *

"So, this place is nice. Very romantic," I say with a smile as I poke my salad with my fork.

Derek smiles back at me and winks. "I'm glad you like it. I miss taking you to places like this. And after dinner, I thought we might catch a movie if you're up to it." He takes a bite of his food and wipes his mouth with his napkin.

"Hmm…sounds good. But no making out this time, mister. Remember that little scene we caused when we saw _Indiana Jones _last spring? Very embarrassing, Derek," I say before taking a sip of my wine.

Derek laughs. "I can't help it that you have a thing for Harrison Ford. The making out thing was all your idea if I remember correctly," he teases with a wink.

I giggle and nod. "Right. Forgot about that. I guess we can go as long as Mr. Ford isn't in the movie. What are we seeing?" I ask.

Derek smirks and says, "_Saw V_."

I groan. "Derek, no. Please. You know I hate scary movies. I'll have my face buried in your shirt the whole time," I plead.

Derek smiles. "And your point is…?" he asks sarcastically with a wink.

I giggle. "You're pathetic," I tease as I shake my head at him.

He grins and leans across the table and gives me a quick kiss before saying, "Maybe."

* * *

"I can't believe you made me buy you this enormous tub of popcorn. Seriously, Mer. You just ate a four course meal, plus most of my cheesecake. How can you be hungry?" Derek teases as we sit down in the back of the theater.

I giggle and say, "Sorry. You know I can't watch a movie without snacks." I take the tub of popcorn from his hands and extend my free hand out to him.

He rolls his eyes at me and pulls a package of M&M's from his pocket. He places the candy in my hand and asks, "Are you planning on sharing any of this with me?"

I sigh and look thoughtful for a moment before saying, "Nope."

Derek laughs and leans over to press a kiss on my lips.

I pull back and tease, "Hey, what did I say about the making out thing?"

I giggle as Derek kisses me again and grabs a handful of popcorn.

* * *

"Whoa, they've been busy," Derek says as we enter the living room and see all the surgically repaired stuffed animals lining the floor.

I laugh and shake my head. "I hope Emma didn't have to witness any of it. Poor baby could be scarred," I joke.

"Should we wake them up?" Derek asks as he nods his head towards the couch where Jacob is laying on top of Cristina's stomach.

I giggle softly. "You take Jake up to his bed. I'll wake up Cris," I whisper.

Derek walks over to the couch and lifts Jacob off of Cristina and carries him upstairs.

I sit down next to Cristina on the couch and start poking her shoulder with my index finger. I giggle when she mumbles, "Stopitgoaway" and rolls over onto her side.

"Cris, wake up," I say as I gently shake her shoulder.

She opens her eyes and glares at me. "God, what time is it?" she grumbles.

I smile and say, "Midnight. Why don't you go to bed, Cris. You look like crap."

She rolls her eyes at me and says, "No. I need to go home. I have to go work in the morning."

I shake my head at her. "Nope. You're staying. It's freezing out there, and the roads are getting all covered in ice. I'm not letting my person drive through the icy wilderness in the middle of the night and crash into a ditch where she'll be eaten by a hungry bear or whatever," I say with a grin.

"Ugh, Mer. You're talking too much. If I stay will you stop talking?" she mumbles.

I giggle and say, "Maybe."

"And I'm not going to have to listen to you and Derek having sex all night, am I?" she asks.

I don't say anything.

"Mer. Seriously. You two are pathetic," she teases as she rolls her eyes.

I giggle and say, "Look, the spare bedroom is on the other side of the house. You won't hear anything. Just go to bed already, Cris."

* * *

I walk into my bedroom and close the door behind me. I smile at Derek who is laying in bed.

"So, Meredith. Are you going to thank me for taking you out tonight?" he asks seductively.

I giggle at him and raise my eyebrow. "Hmm..what do you have in mind, Derek?" I ask seriously as I take my sweater off and toss it onto the floor.

Derek smiles at me and says, "Sex."

I laugh and say, "Sorry. I don't put out on the first date." I take my bra and pants off and giggle as Derek sucks in a breath as he watches me.

Derek exhales and grins. "Good thing this was date number two thousand and five," he says softly without taking his eyes off of my body.

"Ah, so you keep track of how many dates we've been on, huh?" I tease as I climb on the bed and straddle Derek's waist.

"Mmmhmmm…"he whispers into my ear as he pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me.

I moan and say, "That's good, Derek. Very romantic or whatever. I might have to thank you after all."

Derek kisses a trail down my cheek and against my neck and whispers, "I love you."

I wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair. I softly say, "I love you, too, Derek."

**So, thanks as always for reading. And thanks to everyone who takes the time to review. I really appreciate it! **


	6. Patience

**So, last night's episode of Grey's left me incredibly disappointed. I mean, seriously. What was with the pigs? Not that I dislike pigs. They're kind of cute, and bacon is mighty tasty when coupled with a fluffy short stack of pancakes…I'm not sure about you, but I would have much rather seen Meredith stroking Derek's head rather than Lexie stroking Wilbur's. And yes, I know that sounds incredibly dirty. I don't care. I love Meredith and Derek, and getting two scenes the entire show with them unpacking boxes together sucked. I normally don't update on Fridays, but damn it! I have to get my MerDer fix somehow. It obviously isn't coming from the show this season. Stupid pigs. Stupid stupid pigs taking away my MerDer screen time. Er…anyway…enjoy. It's nothing but fluff in this chapter. Lots of fluff.**

I feel Derek's hand snake under my t-shirt and his arm wraps tightly around my waist as I lay spooned next to him in bed. I place my hand on top of his and press his fingers onto my stomach. "Morning," I whisper as I relish the feel of his warm hand against my skin.

Derek leans his face against my cheek and softly says, "Good morning, beautiful." He places a trail of kisses down my cheek and along my neck before nibbling softly on my earlobe.

A smile creeps across my face and I can feel the heat starting to rise in my body as Derek works his magic with his tongue on my favorite spot on my neck.

I start to giggle and Derek groans in disappointment as we hear Emma begin to babble loudly from her room down the hall. Her internal clock really has poor timing on lazy Saturday mornings.

"Damn," Derek whispers as I roll over to look at him. He buries his head into my chest as I wrap my arms around his neck. I run my hands up and down his back and tangle my fingers into his hair. I pull his face back to look at him. I smile at him and press my lips firm against his. "We'll finish this later," I say softly before shoving my tongue into his mouth in a hard but passionate kiss.

Derek groans as he pulls away and says, "Maybe she'll go back to sleep." He returns his face to my chest and begins kissing me through the fabric of my t-shirt. I suck in a breath and close my eyes and enjoy the feel of his warm breath on my breasts.

I laugh as I hear Emma starting to shout "MaMa" and "DaDa" and "BahBah".

I mutter 'crap' and push Derek's head away again. I kiss him quick on the lips and roll over to climb out of bed. "You should think about taking a cold shower before coming downstairs," I tease as I glance down at Derek's crotch.

He grouchily mutters 'fuck' and pulls the covers back over his body and smiles at me.

I walk down the hall and open the door to Emma's room. She looks over the railing of her crib and smiles at me. "Em, what are you doing being so loud in here? Daddy's not so happy with you this morning," I tell her as I reach under her arms and lift her out of the crib. She starts babbling at me and I give her a kiss on the forehead before laying her down on the changing table. I grab a clean diaper off the shelf below her and quickly change her before zipping her lavender footie pajamas back up.

I pick her up and carry her downstairs to the kitchen. I grab a bottle out of the fridge and hand it to her. She shoves it into her mouth as I walk into the living room with her. I plop myself down onto the couch and stretch my legs out. Emma straddles my waist with her legs and lays her head down on my chest as she sucks her bottle. I smile as I look up and see Derek coming down the stairs. He grabs a blanket from in front of the fireplace and walks over to the couch.

"Morning, Em," he says as he bends over and kisses her cheek. He winks at me and gives me a quick but soft kiss on the lips before settling down on the couch between my legs. He rests his head between the couch and my stomach as he readjusts Emma to give himself some room on my body. He pulls the blanket up over himself and Emma, and tucks the blanket under her armpits. She turns her head without taking the bottle out of her mouth. She looks at Derek and reaches for his face with her fingers. Derek smiles as Emma grabs onto his nose and says, "DaDa" with a mouthful of milk. I can feel my shirt getting wet with drool and I roll my eyes.

We lay there quietly until Emma has sucked her bottle dry. She pushes herself up from my chest and throws her bottle down onto the floor. She sits up on top of me and starts to giggle for no apparent reason. Derek and I both start to laugh at her because her giggle is infectious, and she looks so cute with her dark hair all messed up and milk running down her chin. She fusses to get down, so I grab her waist and set her down onto the floor. She crawls quickly over to her toy box and pulls herself up to standing as she peers inside at her toys. I look down at Derek who has buried his face into my stomach. I play with the curls on the back of his head and he wraps his arm around me. I close my eyes and fall back into a light snooze before being awakened by Jacob a few minutes later.

* * *

"So what do you want to do today, Jake?" Derek asks as he sets a plate of banana pancakes down on the table in front of Jacob.

Jacob looks up and smiles and asks Derek to take him fishing. Derek grins and says, "I thought you might say that." He reaches down and messes Jacob's hair up before sitting down next to him at the table.

"Want to go with us?" Derek asks me as he pours some maple syrup on his pancakes.

I shove a spoonful of oatmeal into Emma's mouth and shrug my shoulders. "Maybe," I say. "You're not going to make me touch worms or anything slimy, are you Jake?" I smile at Jacob as he giggles at me.

"Mommy, I'll touch the worms for you. Cuz I'm a man," Jacob says with a proud smile.

I grin and say, "Really? You're a man, Jake?" I shove another bite of oatmeal into Emma's mouth.

Jacob looks serious at me and says, "Yep. Daddy said so. Cuz I put on some man stuff yesterday. On my man pits." He takes a bite of his pancake and chews.

"Man stuff?" I ask as I wrinkle my nose up at Derek.

Derek nods his head and says, "Deodorant. He was getting pretty stinky under the pits. Very manly. He needed some man stuff. I'm thinking of teaching him how to shave later on today." Derek winks at me and grins.

I roll my eyes and giggle. "Right. You do that, Der," I say sarcastically. I hand Emma a slice of chopped up banana and she mashes it up between her thumb and forefinger before shoving it into her mouth.

* * *

"Any luck?" I ask as I walk up next to Derek on the shore of our lake.

He shakes his head and says, "No. Not yet. Jake got a bite, but it got off before he could reel it in." He shifts his fishing pole to one hand and grabs Emma out of my grasp as she reaches her arms out to him. "Hey, sweetie," he says as she gives him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek.

I walk over to Jacob and sit down next to him on the ground. "Hey, big guy. No fish yet, huh?" I ask him. I smile as his little freckled turns very serious as he says, "No, mommy. You have to be patient. Like me." He looks away from me and concentrates on the end of his fishing pole.

"Right, Jake. Patient. I can do that," I say as I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

Jacob sighs and says, "And you have to be quiet, too, Mommy." He takes a hand and makes a zipping motion over his mouth with his fingers at me.

I giggle and place one of my hands over my mouth to stifle my laughter. "Sorry, I forgot," I whisper as I roll my eyes at him. I sit quietly next to him until Emma starts to fuss in Derek's arms. I stand up and take her away from him. "I think we're going to head back to the house," I tell Derek. "I'll have lunch ready when you men decide you're done fishing." Derek leans his face to mine and kisses me softly. I giggle as Jacob says, "Shhhh!"

* * *

"Kids are both asleep," Derek announces as he wraps his arms around my waist from behind me. I rinse the last of the lunch plates and pile it in the dishwasher before turning to look at Derek.

"Asleep, huh?" I ask with a sly grin as I wrap my arms around his waist and pull myself close against his body.

Derek smiles at me and says, "Yes. Sound asleep." He places his face into the side my neck and begins to nibble and kiss his way across to the other side.

"Hmm…" I whisper. "Maybe we should pick up where we left off this morning?" I run my hands up to his face as he moves his kisses down to my breasts. He looks up at me and smiles. He wraps his arms around my back, and I hop up and wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me upstairs to our bedroom and lays me down onto the bed. He stands up and walks over to the door and locks it. He walks back over to the bed and lays down on top of me as I spread my legs and wrap them around his waist.

My body starts to ache as Derek's hand finds its way under my shirt and over my breasts. His tongue moves slowly across my bottom lip, and my breath hitches in my throat. "God, Derek," I whisper as I pull his face closer to mine and I kiss him deeply. "I thought naptime would never come today." I smile at Derek as he looks at my mouth and then into my eyes.

"Me either," he says softly before kissing me again.

* * *

"Can we build a campfire, Mommy?" Jacob asks me as he jumps off his Spiderman bike and runs up onto the porch to where I'm sitting.

I smile at him and say, "Ask Daddy. I'm not sure if we have any firewood left." I point to the backyard and tell Jake that Derek's in the shed out back. He turns and jumps over the steps and runs into the backyard.

I look into Emma's playpen and smile at her as she chews on the ear of her stuffed elephant.

I hear Jacob yelling 'yes!' from the backyard and I tell Emma we must be having a campfire tonight. She looks up at me and giggles before sticking the elephant ear back into her mouth. "Are you getting a tooth, Em?" I ask as I stand up and walk over to the playpen. I stick a finger in Emma's mouth and run it along her gums. I can feel a little hard spot on her lower gum, and she bites down onto my finger. "That's what I thought, Em. Finally, huh?" I pull my finger out of her mouth and wipe the drool onto my jeans.

I feel Jacob wrap his arms onto my leg from behind me and I turn to look down at him.

He smiles up at me and says, "Daddy said we have firewood. Do we have marshmallows, Mommy?" He bats his big blue eyes at me and grins.

I look thoughtful and tell him I'll have to look. He runs off the porch and starts searching the yard for some sticks to roast marshmallows with.

* * *

Jacob looks out the living room window and wipes the tears from his eyes.

"Still raining, Jake?" I ask from the kitchen door. I smile softly at him as I watch him try to hide his tears. He nods at me and lays down onto the couch. I walk over to him and sit down on the floor in front of him.

"Well, we could always roast some marshmallows in the fireplace, Jake," I suggest as I shrug my shoulders.

His face lights up and he says, "Really? I'll go get the sticks!" He jumps off the couch and runs out the front door to grab his stick collection off the porch.

I stand up and walk into the den where Derek is working on the computer. "Hey," I say softly as I wrap my arms around his neck from behind him.

"Hey," Derek whispers. He turns around to face me, and I sit down on his lap. My hands reach behind his head and find their way into his hair. He kisses me softly.

"I told Jake we could build a fire in the fireplace. Want to join us?" I ask as I grab his face with my hands and pull him to me for another kiss.

"Sounds fun," he says. "I just have a few more things to do and then I'll be in there." He runs his hands up my back and smiles at me.

"Ok," I say. "I'll try to save you a marshmallow, but I can't make any promises." I giggle as he reaches under my shirt and tickles my stomach.

* * *

Derek sits down behind me on the floor and wraps his legs around mine. "Having fun?" he says softly into my ear.

I smile and turn to give him a quick kiss. "Yep. You're just in time, though. Emma was about to eat the entire bag of marshmallows without you."

Emma crawls from her spot next to my leg up to Derek's arm and stands up. She smiles at Derek and makes him pick her up. I scoot forward and out of his legs to give him room to hold her.

"Jake, want to make Daddy a marshmallow?" I ask as I lay down on my stomach and lay my head down on a throw pillow.

Jacob smiles at me and gets a marshmallow out of the bag and shoves it onto a stick. He expertly holds it into the fireplace and roasts it for Derek. He holds the stick in front of Derek and tells him it's ready.

"Ah, perfect roasting, Jake," Derek says as he admires the gooey treat Jacob has made for him. He pulls it off of the stick and takes a bite. Emma yells at him, and he sticks a piece into her mouth. She clamps onto his finger and sucks the melted goo off of it. Derek laughs and shakes his head at her as she yells at him for another bite.

"Ugh…she is so going to vomit tonight," I say as I watch Emma suck the marshmallow off Derek's finger.

Derek laughs and says, "Either that, or she's going to be wide awake until next Tuesday from all this sugar."

I giggle and toss Jacob one more marshmallow before twisting the bag closed. "That's it for tonight, Jake," I say as I stand up and make my way to the kitchen. I roll my eyes as Jacob mutters 'no fair' behind me.

* * *

I give Jacob a kiss on the forehead as I stand up to put his book back on the bookshelf. "Night, Jake," I say as I turn off his bedroom light and close the door.

I walk into Emma's room and smile at Derek sitting in the rocking chair with Emma sprawled across his chest. "You know," I say softly, "we won't be able to rock her to sleep for much longer." I kneel down in front of him and run my hand over Emma's dark hair. I smile softly up at Derek and notice a sad look in his eyes.

"I know," he whispers. "She's getting so big." He shifts her sleeping body against his shoulder and continues rocking her.

I stand up and lean over and kiss Emma on the forehead. "I'll be in the shower," I tell Derek softly before giving him a quick kiss and leaving the room.

* * *

I press my hands against the slick wall under the shower head and let the hot water beat down on top of my head. I close my eyes as I relish the feel of the water on my body. I hear the bathroom door open and then close. I wait for a few minutes for Derek to open the shower door and join me, but he doesn't. I open the door slightly and peek out, but the bathroom is empty. I notice that Derek has placed my white silk robe on the toilet seat next to the shower stall and I smile. I turn the water off, and reach for my towel to dry off with. I wrap the towel around my hair, and I slip my silk robe on. I toss the towel off of my hair, and I quickly run a comb through it. I brush my teeth and then put on some deodorant before opening the bathroom door. I smile as I notice our bedroom is bathed in candlelight.

"Mrs. Shepard?" Derek says softly from the other side of the room.

My smile grows as I notice he is wearing my favorite outfit. My eyes scan their way down his shirtless chest and to his tight fitting faded Levi's. "Yes?" I answer as I start to walk in his direction.

Derek smiles at me and says, "Hi. I'm Esteban, your masseuse for this evening." He reaches down and grabs my hand and brings it to his lips. He kisses each of my knuckles slowly before releasing my hand and grinning at me.

I giggle softly and I say 'role playing…nice' under my breath. "So, Esteban, is it?" I ask as I run my hands down Derek's chest and land on the front of his button-fly jeans.

He sucks in a breath and says, "Yes. Esteban. I'm here to massage you. Are you ready?" He reaches forward and unties the front of my robe. He places his hands on my shoulders and pulls the robe off of me and lets it drop down on the floor around my feet. His hands run slowly up my legs and over my stomach and breasts, and they come to rest on my neck. He leans forward and runs his tongue against my mouth and then kisses me softly.

"Yes," I say breathlessly as I pull away from his kiss. "I'm ready, Esteban." I giggle as Derek picks me up and carries me over to the bed. "Esteban?" I say softly.

"Yes?" Derek asks as he turns me over onto my stomach and climbs onto the bed.

"I think I'm in love with you. But don't tell my husband, ok?" I giggle as Derek tells me he's in love with me, too, and starts to rub my back with his soft strong hands.

**Ok, you know what? This scene is getting all kinds of dirty in my mind. I hate to stop it here, but this fic is rated T. Damn. Anyway, this chapter was nothing but fluff. I needed fluff after last night. Please be kind and review if you feel inclined. But please, if you need to leave a negative review, make sure it is something constructive and not just bashing. There's a difference. If you need to bash my story, PM me. If you want to leave a good review or some constructive criticism, that would be adored. Thanks as always!**


	7. Miss You

**So, three things you need to know for this chapter: 1.) I adore Intern Steve (or 'Two' as he's known in Cristina speak). He's geeky and cute. He has a great smile and gets really excited when pigs don't die. So, for this fic, I've paired him with Lexie. Because she's also geeky and cute, and I don't want her to end up with George. Yuck. 2.) Mer has nightmares. Like, bad nightmares. Not often, but still, she has them. And they usually involve Derek. A dead Derek. Ugh. Sorry. Please don't throw things at me. C.) I hate Wednesdays. As in, I wish I could go to bed on Tuesday nights and not wake up until Thursday mornings. Wednesdays suck. If you want to make my Wednesday less sucky, a review would be oh so lovely. **

**Ok, I think that's all you need to know for now. **

I open my eyes and bolt upright in bed and gasp for air. I grab my chest with my hand as I try to keep my heart from jumping right out of my skin. I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate as I glance over at Derek who is laying with his face buried in his pillow next to me. I climb quickly out of bed and race to the bathroom. I don't bother to turn the light on as I shut the door behind me and slither down onto the floor with my back against the bathroom wall. Tears have now started to roll down my cheeks as my breathing becomes more labored. I try to inhale deeply and calm myself down as I sit on the cold tile floor in the dark. I remain still for several minutes and try to get my breathing under control.

After what feels like an eternity, my heart slowly begins to beat at a halfway normal rate. I take a deep breath and hold it in for a few seconds before exhaling heavily. I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my face on them, wrapping my arms under my legs as I close my eyes. I'm still crying, and I press my face harder into my legs to wipe the tears off my cheeks.

"Fuck," I mutter to myself. "Every time he has to leave. Stupid lame ass dream," I curse in the darkness as I lift my head up and shake it in disgust at myself.

I stand up and reach behind me to turn the bathroom light on. I walk over to the sink and turn on the water. My hands form a makeshift cup and I fill them with water to splash on my face. I lean over and shove my face into my hands and let the water wash away my tears. I lift my head and look at myself in the mirror as I dry my face with a towel. "Nice, Meredith. You look like shit. Jesus," I whisper harshly to myself before tossing the towel back down onto the counter.

I flip the light switch off and open the bathroom door. I take a deep breath and walk back over to the bed. I pull the covers down and gently climb back into bed and reclaim my space next to Derek. I turn over to face him, and softly place my hand over his chest. I pull myself closer to his body and sigh a breath of relief as I feel his heart beating against my palm.

I close my eyes in a pointless effort to go back to sleep. My eyes burn from crying so much and it hurts to keep them closed, so I pry them back open. I glance over at the alarm clock and mutter 'damn it' to myself when I notice that it's only two o'clock. I spend the next three hours laying wide awake next to Derek, watching his face as he sleeps as I try to get the nightmare of his funeral out of my head.

* * *

"Morning," Derek whispers as he turns his alarm clock off and rolls over to look at me.

"Morning," I say softly before leaning into him and giving his lips a quick kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his face close to mine as I shut my eyes. He kisses me harder this time as he rubs his hands up and down my back. I lean my body slightly more on top of his and run my foot up the side of his leg. I start to move my hand down his bare stomach and rake my fingernails right below his navel. Derek reaches down and grabs my hand and pulls it gently off of him.

"I've got to get going, Mer. Sorry," Derek apologizes as he pulls out of my embrace. He kisses my forehead softly and then stands up and heads for the bathroom.

I sigh and get out of bed reluctantly. I go down to the kitchen and start making a pot of coffee. While I wait for it to perk, I go into the bathroom downstairs and try to freshen up my appearance. I grimace at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are puffy and red from crying and lack of sleep. My skin is pale and my hair is a mess. I toss some warm water over my cheeks and dry my face off. I run a brush through my tangled hair and toss the brush back into the drawer. "God, I really do look like shit," I mutter to myself. Reluctantly, I shrug my shoulders and leave the bathroom. I go back into the kitchen and pour a travel mug full of coffee for Derek. I take a few large gulps of it as I walk slowly back upstairs to our bedroom.

"Coffee?" I say softly as I enter the bathroom. My eyes scan Derek's half naked body under the black towel that is wrapped tightly around his waist. I smile at Derek's reflection in the mirror as he runs his razor over his cheek.

"Thanks," he says as he takes the mug from my hand. "Why is it half empty, Mer?" he teases me as a grin creeps over his partially shaved face. I giggle and say, "Some people would say it's half full. Besides, I was thirsty." I stand behind him and wrap my arms around his naked chest and kiss him between the shoulder blades. I bury my face into his back as he continues shaving."What's wrong?" Derek asks softly as I run my hands up and down his stomach. He turns slightly to look at me.

I release my grip from around him and move next to him by the sink. "Nothing's wrong. Just not awake yet," I lie. I grab the razor from his hand and tell him to 'sit down'. He smiles at me and sits down on the toilet lid. He spreads his legs apart, and I move to stand between his knees. He places his hands on the back of my legs. I tangle my free hand into his hair and tilt his head back, and slowly move the razor up his neck. I swish the razor in the sink to clean it off before returning it to his neck.

"You're lying," Derek says flatly as he studies my face. I pull the razor against his Adam's apple and sigh. I don't say anything and avoid his gaze as I finish shaving his face. I toss the razor onto the counter and pull the plug in the sink. I reach under the counter for a wash rag, and I get it wet with hot water. I walk back over to Derek and he wraps his arms around the back of my legs as I clean his face off with the wash rag. "Did you pack your after shave?" I ask as I leave his embrace and rummage through the medicine cabinet. I find what I'm looking for and pour some of the lotion onto my hands. I rub it onto Derek's neck and then wipe my hands on the towel. I lean into his face and kiss him gently as I place my hands on his smooth soft cheeks.

"Meredith. Talk to me," Derek pleads softly. "I can tell you've been crying. Are you upset that I'm leaving?" He pulls my stomach close to his face and kisses me through my t-shirt.

I shake my head and ramble, "No. This trip is important, Derek. You've worked your ass off on this project. I'm proud of you. You deserve to go. Promise I'm not upset about your trip, even though it is Chicago. And I love Chicago. You suck for going without me. Ok, so maybe I'm a little upset you're leaving. But only because I don't get to go with you to Chicago." I run my fingers through his hair and massage his scalp with my fingernails. I try to smile down at him but it doesn't work.

"Tell me what's wrong," Derek insists as he sees through my forced smile. I bite my bottom lip and sigh as I close my eyes. A look of understanding comes over his face and he knows what's bothering me. "Oh, Mer. Not the dream again. Please tell me you didn't have that dream again, Meredith."

I press my face into my hands and drop down to my knees in front of Derek. "I did. I'm sorry," I whisper. I lean my forehead into his chest and he wraps his arms around my back.

"Damn it, Meredith. Why didn't you wake me up?" Derek grumbles. He puts a hand under my chin and makes me look up at him.

I blink my eyes quickly, but I can't stop the fresh batch of tears from falling down my cheeks. "You needed to sleep, Derek. You have a presentation in like nine hours in front of hundreds of surgeons. It's just a stupid dream," I say softly.

Derek shakes his head at me and says, "Fuck that, Meredith. It's not just a stupid dream. You should have woken me up. I can sleep on the plane." He places his hands on the side of my face and runs his thumbs on my cheeks to wipe away the tears.

I try to giggle as I say, "You can't sleep on planes. You hate planes." I take a deep breath and force a small smile out of my lips.

Derek shakes his head at me and kisses my forehead. "Meredith, nothing is going to happen to me, ok? I'm not going to die and leave you alone to raise these kids by yourself. I'll be back on Tuesday. You don't need to freak out," he says softly.

"I'm not freaking out," I reply as I bury my face into his chest again. Derek pulls me up to stand in front of him. I straddle his lap with my legs as I move to sit down on top of him. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him deeply. "Ok, maybe just a little freaking out," I say as I pull away from the kiss. Derek smiles at me and kisses me softly. His hands find their way under my t-shirt and he runs his hands over my breasts. I moan into his mouth as he kisses me harder. "Plane, Derek. You're going to miss your plane," I say breathlessly as he stands up and carries me into the bedroom. He lays me down on the bed and climbs on top of me.

"Planes are stupid," he whispers as he pulls the towel off of his waist and places warm wet kisses down my neck.

* * *

"Bye, Em," Derek says as he kisses Emma softly on the forehead. She begins to wiggle in Derek's arms and he sets her down on the floor. She crawls quickly away from the staircase where we are standing and heads for the living room. "So, you're ok?" Derek asks me as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Hmm…I think so," I say. "No more freaking out. Promise." Derek places his hands on my waist and pulls me tight next to him. He kisses me softly and then gives me a hug. I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of his after shave as I bury my face into his neck. We stay pressed together for a moment until Derek finally releases me from his grip.

"Should I wake Jake up and tell him good-bye?" he asks softly as he looks up the staircase towards Jacob's bedroom.

I shake my head and say, "No, he'll just start crying again. You told him good-bye last night. It's ok, Derek. You need to get going or you really will miss your flight." I reach down and grab his left hand and raise it in front of my face. "Hmm…good. I expect this ring to _not_ leave your finger while you're gone." I smirk at Derek and he smiles at me.

"Mer, seriously? Do we have to have this discussion every time I go out of town?" Derek teases me and wraps his arms back around my waist.

I nod my head and grin at him. "Yes, Derek. We do. Because I know how those women doctors get around you when you start spouting off with your genius brain surgeon talk. They get all swoony and make goo-goo eyes at you. I'm just making sure they know you're taken," I say as I press a kiss onto his ring finger.

Derek laughs at me and says, "Swoony? Is that even a word, Mer?" He rubs his palm over my cheek as I nod.

"Yes. It's my word. Swoony. Meaning that they undress you with their eyes and think about doing dirty naughty things to you. Swoony, Derek," I say as I place my hands on his cheeks and bring his face to mine. I run my tongue along his bottom lip before giving him a soft kiss.

Derek moans and pulls his face away from mine. "Mer, you know you're the only woman I want doing dirty naughty things to me," he whispers before kissing me again.

I smile at him and say, "Good. Now that we have that established, you really need to go." I give him a quick kiss and pick up his briefcase and hand it to him.

He takes the briefcase from me and leans forward for one last kiss before telling me, "Bye, Sweetheart. I love you." He walks to the front door and opens it as I tell him, "I love you, too. Call me tonight."

* * *

"Mommy, hurry up!" Jacob yells at me as he runs further ahead of me down the trail to the lake.

I roll my eyes and say, "This is me hurrying, Jake. I kind of have a twenty pound baby attached to my back. Plus carrying a picnic basket here." I bounce slightly to readjust the baby carrier on my back. Emma giggles and tugs on the shoulder of my shirt. I walk faster as Jacob vanishes out of sight. I shout, "Jake, where'd you go?" as I shield my eyes from the late morning sun with my hand.

I let out a sigh of relief as Jacob jumps out from behind a tree and says, "Here I am, Mommy. Guess what I found?"

I can't help but grin at him as he points a stick at the bottom of the tree. "What is that?" I ask him as I bend down next to him and notice the mound of dirt he has found.

Jacob smiles at me and tells me, "Ants. Daddy showed them to me when we were fishing last time." He takes the stick and pokes mountain of dirt to reveal some tiny white eggs and an army of black ants.

I wrinkle my nose and say, "Wow. That's kind of neat...if you like bugs." I stand up and brush the dirt off of my knees and pull the baby carrier tighter on my shoulders. "Where are we eating at today, Jake?"

Jacob tosses the stick down and grabs my hand. "Can we eat on the pier?" he asks me as we begin to walk further down the trail.

I smile at him and say, "Good idea. I bet the animals are out today. What do you think we'll see?"

Jacob shrugs his shoulders and looks thoughtful. "I don't know. Maybe some frogs, or a bear."

I giggle at him and inform him there are no bears on our land. His face frowns with disappointment so I say, "Well, maybe there are some little bears. You never know."

* * *

Jacob folds his arms in front of his chest and pouts at me.

"Jake. Seriously. Get in the tub. Now," I say firmly as I point to the bathtub full of warm water and bubbles.

"No!" He says grumpily. "It's not even dark yet, Mommy. It's not bath time." He keeps his arms folded and looks like he's going to cry.

"Jake," I try to explain, "You're filthy. Look at your arms. You are not laying down for a nap until you get the mud off. Besides, we're having company tonight so you won't have time for a bath later." I smile at him as he inspects his arms for dirt.

"What company?" he asks me as he decides to peel off his muddy clothes and get in the tub.

I grab his hand and help him step into the bathtub. "Aunt Cris and Aunt Lex. And maybe Steve," I tell him. Jacob smiles at me and says, "Yes!"

I roll my eyes and giggle at him before pouring a cup full of soapy water over his head.

* * *

"Jake, can you go answer the door for me?" I ask as I shove a spoonful of mashed potatoes into Emma's mouth.

Jacob jumps down from his seat next to me at the table and runs out of the kitchen. I hear him yell "Aunt Cris!" as he opens the front door.

"Hey, Munchkin, can you carry this stuff for me?" Cris says as they walk through the living room and toward the kitchen. I look up and smile at Cristina as she walks in and sits down across from me. "Hey," I say as I give Emma another bite. "What's all that?" I ask as I raise my eyebrows at the bags Jacob sets down on the table in front of me.

Cristina laughs as she says, "Food, Mer. I didn't want to starve tonight. Derek's not here to cook for us so…" She motions with her hands to the bags and continues, "food. Pre-cooked. All we have to do is nuke it and put it on plates. I figured between the two of us we should be able to handle that. And I brought movies." She grunts as Jacob jumps unexpectedly onto her lap.

I giggle and say, "This is why I'm still friends with you." Emma shouts at me and I shove more potatoes into her mouth. "By the way, Lexie's coming, too," I say meekly without looking at Cristina.

She groans at me and says, "Mer, please tell me she's not bringing Two." She runs her hand through Jacob's brown curls and makes a disgusted face at me.

I giggle again and say, "Steve. His name is Steve. You think you would know that by now, Cris. He was your intern five years ago. And yes, he's probably coming. They are engaged, you know. So he's usually with her." I stand up and take the dirty dishes off the table in front of me and carry them over to the sink. I wet a paper towel and walk back over to Emma and wash the potatoes off her face and hands.

Cristina rolls her eyes at me. "Yeah, yeah. He follows Lexie around like a puppy. Just like Derek still does to you. You Grey women really like your men whipped," she teases as she shakes her head at me.

I smirk at her as I lift Emma out of her highchair. "Whatever," I mumble even though I know she's probably right.

* * *

"Why are we watching this movie? Again?" Cristina mumbles as Jacob shifts against her stomach as they lay next to each other on the floor in front of the television.

Jacob giggles and waves his hands in the air to emphasize his point when he says, "Because. Lightning McQueen is awesome!"

Cristina rolls her eyes and mumbles, "Yeah, Jake. I get that. He's awesome. He goes really fast and wins races and shit. But we just watched this movie. I brought other movies to watch together. You know, ones we haven't seen before."

Jacob's eyes grow wide and he places his hand over his mouth. "Um, you said a bad word, Cris. I'm telling Mommy," he says seriously.

Cristina mumbles, "Sorry, Jake," and places an exasperated hand on her forehead.

I start to giggle when Emma crawls over to Cristina and climbs on top of her stomach. Cristina grabs her around the waist and raises her eyebrows as Emma smiles at her. "What is the deal? Do I look like the freaking Baby Whisperer or something?" Cristina says annoyingly as Emma lays her head down on her chest and begins sucking her thumb.

"Good grief," she grumbles as Jacob scoots his body as close to her as possible as the movie starts again.

We both turn our heads when we hear a clicking sound coming from the couch on the other side of the room.

"Nice," Steve says sarcastically as he looks at the picture of Cristina smothered in my kids that he just snapped on his cell phone. He turns the phone to Lexie and she nods her head in approval. "Cute. Really sweet, Cristina," she says sincerely.

He looks down on the floor at Cristina and teases, "This will come in so handy. I just know it." He smirks at Cristina, but then his smile turns slowly into a look of fear as he notices the glare coming from her face.

"You better have that picture deleted in five seconds, Two, or I swear I will make sure you are on rectal duty for a week," she says as she narrows his eyebrows at him.

I giggle and shake my head as I say, "You can't do that, Cris. He's a fourth year resident. You have no control. So suck it up. And Steve," I continue as I turn my attention to him, "I would like a copy of that picture. I think I'll blow it up really big and hang it in Derek's office at work. He's just gonna love it." I smile widely at Cristina just to annoy her.

Cristina sighs and says, "I hate you. All of you." Jacob looks up at her with a pouty face and then she says softly with an apologetic smile, "Oh, except you, Jake. And Emma. You two are awesome." Jacob smiles and snuggles back up against her and continues to watch the movie.

* * *

"Tell everyone bye, Jake," I say as we walk to the front door behind Cristina.

Jacob sighs and says, "Bye, everyone." He gets a serious look on his face and he yells, "Hey wait! You didn't give me kisses!" He runs in front of the door and stretches his arms out to block our guests from leaving. Steve and Lexie both laugh at him and bend over to give him a kiss on the cheek. They turn and wait for Cristina to bend over and kiss Jacob.

Cristina moans and pauses before saying, "What? Don't you two have anything better to do than watch me kiss my nephew goodbye?" She narrows her eyebrows in an effort to scare them away, but it doesn't work.

Lexie shrugs her shoulders and says, "Nope. I have nothing better to do. What about you, Honey?" She smirks at Steve and he shakes his head. "No, no plans."

Cristina rolls her eyes and mumbles, "I really do hate you idiots." She bends down in front of Jake and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. Before she can stand up, Jacob wraps his arms around her neck and says, "I love you, Aunt Cris."

I can't help but smile as I watch Cristina squirm and say, "Yeah, yeah. I love you, too, Munchkin."

Lexie giggles as Steve pretends to wipe a tear from his eye as he says softly, "God, that was beautiful."

* * *

I sit cross-legged beside Jacob's bed waiting for him to finish his phone conversation with Derek. A giggle comes from my mouth when Jacob says, "Daddy, Aunt Cris said a bad word." There is a pause in the conversation as Jacob listens to Derek's response. "Ok, Daddy. I'll tell her." Jacob looks down at me and says, "Mommy, Daddy said Aunt Cris needs a time-out."

I giggle and say, "Ok, Jake. I'll put her in time-out at work Monday. Tell Daddy goodnight, Jake."

Jacob smiles and says, "Goodnight, Daddy." He pulls the phone away from his ear and hands it to me.

"Hey, hold on a minute," I tell Derek as I tuck Jacob into bed. "Goodnight, Jake. I love you. Sweet dreams, ok?" My lips rest briefly on his forehead as I kiss him. I stand up and turn the light switch off and close his door behind me as I leave his bedroom.

"So, how's Chicago?" I ask into the phone as I walk into my room and flop myself down in the middle of the bed.

"Cold," Derek says quickly. "It must be thirty degrees out there tonight. Plus the wind. I'm freezing my ass off," he adds.

I giggle slightly and say, "Aw, that sucks. I really like your ass. It's cute." I run my free hand through my bangs and push them off of my forehead.

"Hmm…it is cute, isn't it? I have a really cute ass," Derek teases smugly. I giggle again and say, "Oh god, I just added to your already inflated ego, didn't I? Never mind. Your ass is ugly. Really ugly." I scoot to the top of the bed and lay my head down on Derek's pillow. "How'd your presentation go?" I ask seriously.

"It was good, I think. I only noticed six people fall asleep from boredom," he says jokingly.

I laugh and reply, "What? No swooning women this time, Der?" I close my eyes and pull the covers up over my body.

"Well…" Derek says, "the first row was kind of filled with women making goo-goo eyes at me. But don't worry, Sweetheart. I made sure to flash my wedding ring down at them every chance I could. Plus, I wrote 'Dr. Derek Shepard, husband of the Great Dr. Meredith Shepard' on my name tag instead of just the usual 'Dr. Derek Shepard, Sexy Genius Neurosurgeon.' So I think they know I'm spoken for."

I laugh and say, "That's good, Derek. Very good." I sigh and continue, "I miss you. That's pathetic, right? You've only been gone fifteen hours, and already I miss you." I place my hand on my forehead and run my fingers through my hair.

Derek laughs softly and says, "Yeah, that is a little pathetic. But it's okay, Mer. I love you anyway."

"Shut up, Shepard," I say with a giggle. "You know you miss me, too. You're all cold and freezing without me there to cuddle with. Admit it. You're as bad as me."

Derek groans into the phone and replies, "Ok. I admit it, Mer. I miss you like crazy. I hate sleeping without you. I wish I was home already."

A smile creeps over my face. "Me too. I'm going to be up all night sniffing the after shave on your pillow because I can't sleep without you here."

Derek laughs and says, "You still do that, Mer? Wow, I thought the pillow-sniffing thing was just a phase."

I giggle and say, "God! Shut up, Derek. I can't help it. You turned me into a pillow-sniffing ball of fluff and goo. I used to be normal, you know. Now, I'm just pathetic." I sigh exaggeratedly into the phone and Derek laughs.

"It's ok, Meredith. I still love you," he teases. He pauses for a moment and then says seriously, "I really do love you, Mer."

I close my eyes and smile as I say, "I love you, too, Dr. Shepard."

**Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone who reviews. I have my fingers crossed for some MerDer time tomorrow night on Grey's. You know, for more than sixty seconds. Anyway, Happy Grey's Day tomorrow! **


	8. Mama's Boy

**_Yeah, I know it's been like twenty years since this was updated. Don't worry. Jacob hasn't graduated college yet. He's still four, and Emma's still a baby. And yes, this is a pretty fluffy chapter. I've been going through severe MerDer withdrawal this season. This kind of makes up for it. Ok, not really. But it helps a little._**

I hear Jacob yelling my name as he runs out of his bedroom and down the hall towards ours. "Mommy!" he says softly through his sobs as he opens the door cautiously and waits for a response. I sit up slightly in bed and peer through the darkness at him.

"Jake? What's wrong?" I whisper as I motion with my finger for him to come over to the bed.

He rubs his eyes with his fists and tries to stop crying as he walks towards me. "I had a bad dream," he says softly. I lean over and give him a kiss on his forehead as he sniffles.

"Can I sleep with you, Mommy?" he asks quietly as my arms wrap around his tiny body. I pull him onto the bed next to me and smile.

"Jake, you know Daddy doesn't let you sleep with us. Come on. I'll go tuck you back in," I whisper. I look behind me at Derek who is laying on his stomach, unaware of anything but his own slumber.

Jacob starts crying again and Derek stirs slightly. I sigh and pull the covers down for Jacob and let him snuggle up next to me. "Thanks, Mommy," he says softly against my chest as he drifts back to sleep.

I smile and kiss him on top of his head. "Sweet dreams, Jake," I whisper as I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his back.

* * *

The scent of bacon and pancakes drifts through my nostrils as I wake up alone. I stretch my arms above my head and yawn before throwing the covers off of me and getting out of bed. I grab some clothes out of the dresser and go into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

"Morning," I say as I eventually make my way into the kitchen for breakfast. I smile at Derek who flips a pancake onto the growing stack next to him on the counter. He winks at me and returns my smile as I walk over to him and give him a quick kiss.

"Morning, beautiful," he says softly before reaching an arm around my waist and pulling me into his chest for another kiss.

I giggle as Jacob mumbles "Stop it, Daddy" from across the room as he sits at the table. I pull away from Derek and walk over to the table. I ruffle Jacob's hair and kiss him quickly on the forehead before sitting down next to him. "Hey, Em," I say as I smile at Emma, who is shoving a handful of squished banana into her mouth as she sits in her highchair. I wrinkle my nose as she smiles at me and banana drool runs down her chin. Jacob groans and mutters "Yuck" before shoving his face into his hands.

"Here you go, Jake," Derek says as he places a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of Jacob on the table.

Jacob looks at his plate and pouts. "Daddy!" he shouts angrily as he points to the strips of bacon.

Derek smiles sheepishly and shrugs his shoulders. "Sorry. I forgot, Jake," he teases. I reach over and take the bacon off Jacob's plate and take a bite. I wonder to myself if Jake is the only self-proclaimed-four-year-old vegetarian in Seattle. I smile at the thought as Derek places a plate of pancakes and a glass of juice in front of me. I raise my eyebrows at Derek and he grins at me. "It was worth a shot," he says quietly as he sits down between me and Emma at the table.

I giggle and roll my eyes. "Derek, seriously. Give it up. He's never going to eat meat. How many times do we have to have this discussion?" I ask as I take a bite of my pancakes.

Derek smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders. "I know. I just thought it might be phase, but obviously…" he says before shaking his head.

"Derek. Phases usually don't last four years. Actually, five. Don't forget the nine months he was in my womb forcing me to avoid meat products of every kind," I tease before taking a drink of orange juice.

Derek nods his head and smiles at Jacob, who shoves a huge bite of pancake into his mouth. We all turn our heads and look at Emma as she repeatedly pounds her sippy cup onto her highchair tray. She giggles as juice sprays out of the top and lands on her cheeks and nose. Derek reaches over and takes her cup away as he says, "Ok, princess. That's enough of that."

Emma's smiles disappears immediately and is replaced with a frown. She sticks her bottom lip out and pouts as she bats her big blue eyes at Derek.

Derek chuckles as he wipes her face off with his napkin. "Where did you learn _that_ trick at, Em?" he asks as he unlatches her tray and removes her from the highchair. He kisses the top of her curl covered head and sits her down on his lap.

"You mean the pouty-face-eye-batting trick?" I ask with a grin. Derek nods his head at me as he sets Emma down on the floor. She quickly crawls out of the kitchen and heads to the living room in search of toys.

I point my fork at Jacob as I say, "I'm pretty sure she learned that trick from him." Jacob smiles innocently at us with a mouthful of pancake.

Derek raises his eyebrow and frowns. "I've never noticed him doing that before," he says flatly.

I giggle and say, "That's because you're immune to his charm. It only works on me." I stand up and begin clearing the dirty dishes off of the table. Jacob jumps off of his seat and runs out of the kitchen.

Derek stands up and wraps his arms around my waist as I drop the dishes into the sink. "Hmm…he must have been charming you pretty good last night. I noticed he was in bed with us this morning," he says through a soft smile.

I giggle and shrug my shoulders. "He was having a bad dream. He was begging. And crying. There were tears. I couldn't just send him back to his dark scary room alone, could I?" I ask as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"You're such a softy," he teases before pressing his lips onto my cheek. He kisses a warm trail down my neck and against my collarbone, eliciting a soft moan from me. I close my eyes and relax into his kisses as I tangle my fingers into the back of his curly hair.

Derek breathes a sigh of frustration as we hear Jacob yelling, "Daddy! Stop kissing my Mommy!" as he runs into the kitchen. Jacob walks over next to Derek and wedges himself in between the two of us. He wraps his arms around my waist and presses his face into my stomach. I giggle as I hear him muttering "my mommy" under his breath.

* * *

"You coming soon?" Derek asks as he opens the front door and lets Jacob run out ahead of him.

I look up from my laptop and nod my head. "Yeah," I say. "I just have to finish up this research. Shouldn't take too long." I smile and Derek closes the door behind him as he takes Emma out to the front yard to find Jacob.

I spend the next forty-five minutes feverishly typing notes onto my computer as I flip through page after page of medical journals. Finally, I turn my laptop off and place it into the carrying case. I rub my hands over my eyes and stand up. I pull my heavy coat on as I open the front door in search of Derek. My hand makes a shield against the late afternoon sun as I squint my eyes down toward the paths at the edge of the yard. I sigh and pull out my cell phone. "Hey, where did you go?" I ask as I plop myself down onto one of the rocking chairs on the front porch. I listen as Derek tells me they are on their way back from what turned out to be the 'walk from hell'. I giggle and hang up my cell phone as I wait for them to return. I lean my head back against the chair and close my eyes as I listen to the sounds of birds in the trees.

"Mommy!" Jacob shouts as he emerges from the path that leads to the lake. I open my eyes and see him waving at me. A smile creeps across my face as I notice Derek fumbling with the baby carrier as Emma tugs on his hair. I giggle as Derek lets out a long frustrated sigh when he finally reaches the front porch. "Here, let me help you," I say as I stand up and grab Emma under the arms. I pull her out of the carrier and set her down on the grass in front of the porch. Jacob wraps his arms around my legs and presses his face into my waist.

"What's with him?" I ask Derek as I point to the top of Jacob's head below me.

Derek groans and rolls his eyes. "Apparently, he can't go anywhere without you for some reason. He spent the entire walk crying and yelling at me to turn around so we could come get you," he mumbles as he sits down in one of the rocking chairs.

I smile sheepishly and say, "Sounds fun. Sorry I missed it." I pull Jacob off of my legs and kneel down in front of him. "Hey, what's going on with you?" I ask softly as Jacob wipes some tears from his face. He shrugs his shoulders and turns around. He runs and jumps off of the porch steps and rushes out into the yard by Emma.

I sit down in Derek's lap and he wraps his arms around my stomach. I lean back and place my cheek against his face. "He's being really clingy lately," I say softly as I watch Jacob lay down in the grass next to Emma.

Derek nods his head in agreement. "I've noticed," he says teasingly as he presses his face into my neck. He takes a deep breath in and kisses my skin gently.

"I'm serious, Derek. Something's going on with him," I say as I sit up and pull slightly out of his grip.

Derek shakes his head at me and says, "He's just being a Mama's boy, Meredith. Nothing's wrong." He looks into my eyes and smiles softly.

I return his smile and look back out into the yard. "I hope you're right," I whisper. I lean back against Derek's body again. We both laugh as we watch Emma crawl up onto Jacob's back, and then roll off onto the ground as he wiggles underneath her. "So, do you want to take me to dinner tonight?" I ask as I turn my gaze to Derek's face.

He smiles at me and raises his eyebrows. "You mean like a date? Just the two of us?" he asks. I nod my head and grin at him. "Hmm...your son probably won't be too happy about this," he teases before giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

I shake my head and say, "I know, but we need some time alone. It's just for a few hours. Lexie said she'd come over and watch the kids tonight for us." I lean into Derek's face and give him a longer kiss. "So what do you say? Is it a date?" I ask against his lips as I break off the kiss.

Derek smiles slightly and whispers, "Yes. It's a date, sweetheart."

* * *

"Hold still, Em," I say as I brace Emma's slick chest against my hand as I kneel down in front of the bathtub. I use my free hand to pour a cup of warm water over her shampoo filled hair. She starts crying as water gets on her face. I drop the cup and use both hands to keep her from standing up. "Em, I have to get the soap out. Just hold on a minute," I say frustratedly as I fill the cup again and pour it over her head. Emma starts screaming, so I quickly rinse the remainder of the bubbles from her hair. I keep one hand on her body as I reach behind me and grab her hooded towel off the rack. I spread the towel out as best I can with one hand, and then reach into the tub to grab Emma.  
"Come on, Em," I say as I lift her out of the warm water. She stops crying as I wrap the towel around her body and dry her face off with one of the ends.

I stand up and carry Emma into her bedroom. "What jammies do you want tonight, Em?" I ask as I open the top drawer of her dresser. I grab a pair of baby blue footie pajamas and sit down on the floor with Emma. I finish drying her off, and then quickly wrap a diaper around her bottom. She fusses as I shove her feet into her pajamas and she tries to turn over to crawl away. "Uh, Em. Not done yet," I say as I grab her and make her lay back down. I quickly shove her arms into her pajamas and zip them up. She shouts babble at me as she turns over and crawls speedily over to her toy box. I hear Derek laughing at me from the doorway, and I shoot him a dirty look.

"What is so funny?" I ask as I narrow my eyes playfully at him. He walks into Emma's bedroom and holds his hands out to me. I grab them, and he helps me stand up off of the floor.  
"Nothing, sweetheart. It's just kind of cute watching you struggle getting her dressed. I thought I was the only one she did that to," he says softly as he wraps his arms around my waist.

I smile at him and roll my eyes. "She's a mess. Definitely your child," I tease. Derek chuckles and shakes his head. "Whatever, Meredith. She acts more like you everyday," he says.

I giggle and say, "You know you love it." I press my lips softly to his. He breaks the kiss off and says, "Lexie's downstairs. Jacob has her reading a stack of books to him. Are you ready to go?"

I scrunch up my nose and look down at my clothes. "Uh, I think I better change. Em got me all wet when she was fighting with me in the tub," I say with a slight smile.

Derek grins at me and says, "Go change. I'll rock her to sleep while you get ready."

I roll my eyes playfully as I say, "Yeah, and you call _me_ a softy?" I smile as I watch Derek grab Emma off the floor and brush her wet curls off of her face. He sits down in the rocking chair with her and kisses the top of her head. "What?" he asks when he notices me standing in the doorway.

I grin and shake my head and mutter "You're incredibly hot when you're being a softy" as I turn and leave Emma's room. I giggle as I hear Derek say, "You hear that, Em? Mommy thinks I'm hot."

* * *

"Bye, Jake," I say as I bend down to give him a kiss. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and pouts. "It's not fair, Mommy," he says angrily as he turns his face away from me.

I sigh and say, "Jake, give me a kiss. I'm leaving. You better be good for Aunt Lex while I'm gone." I wrap my arms around him and give him a tight hug. He pulls out of my grip and runs up the stairs. "Sorry, Lex. He's going through a phase or whatever. He should be okay after I'm gone," I say apologetically.

"Don't worry about it," Lexie says. "I brought ice cream. That always makes him happy. Have fun you two." She opens the door for us and gestures for us to leave. I smile at her as I walk past. "Thanks, Lex," I say softly. Derek bends over slightly and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before saying, "Yeah, thanks, Lex."

He snakes his arm under my coat and grabs my waist as we walk together in the cold darkness toward the car. "You ok?" he asks as we reach the car. He opens the door for me and I smile at him. "Yeah, I'm good. I just hate when he's mad at me, that's all," I say as I shrug my shoulders and sit down in my seat.

Derek frowns slightly at me and bends down to kiss me. "It's just a phase, Meredith. All little boys go through it, ok? He doesn't like sharing you with me," he says softly as he stands back up. I nod my head and he shuts the door. "So, where are you taking me?" he asks as he opens his door and sits down in the driver's seat.

I grin and wiggle my eyes. Derek moans. "No, Mer. Please tell me you aren't planning on making me eat at Guido's again. Can't we try someplace new?" he asks as he starts the car.

I giggle and say, "Nope. Guido's. They make amazing pizza, Derek. Stop complaining or I'll make you stay home with the kids and I'll take my sister with me." I wink at Derek and he laughs.

"Aha! So this really isn't a date so we could be alone together. You're just craving Guido's. I feel so cheap, Meredith," he says teasingly.

I giggle again and say, "Sorry, Derek. It's true. I guess I'll have to make this up to you when we get home, huh?" I raise my eyebrows at him and run my hand up his leg seductively before resting it on his crotch.

Derek grins sheepishly and nods. "Oh yes. You will have to do that," he says softly as he reaches down and grabs my hand. "Now, behave yourself before you make me drive off into the ditch."

* * *

"Seriously, tell me this isn't the best pizza you've ever had, Derek," I say as I force a bite of my pizza into Derek's mouth. He takes a bite and quickly brings his hand up to his mouth. "Damn, that's hot, Meredith," he says after he takes a gulp of his water. I giggle as I take a bite of pizza and shrug my shoulders. "Wimp," I say softly as I wink at Derek.

He smiles at me and shakes his head. "You know, pizza is not exactly good for you, sweetheart," he says as he stabs a leaf of lettuce with his fork. I smile back at him and hold my slice of pizza in front of his face. "So," I say, "does that mean you don't want another bite?" Derek grins and takes a large bite of my pizza. "That's what I thought," I say as I lean forward and kiss him hard on the mouth.

* * *

Derek opens the front door and we are immediately greeted by Lexie. "Hey guys," she says quietly. "How was dinner?"

I smile at her and say, "Great. Right, Derek?" I look at Derek and wink at him. He rolls his eyes and says, "Yeah. Best pizza ever. How were the kids?"

Lexie frowns and says, "Man, Mer. Jacob was really mad at you. He wouldn't even eat his ice cream." I cringe and mutter "damn it" as I hang my coat up on the rack behind me. "But don't worry. He eventually decided it was more fun to play hide-and-seek with me than be mad at you. He got over it," Lexie says as she shrugs her shoulders.

I let out a sigh and say, "So, do you want to crash in the guest room tonight? You're welcome to stay, Lex."

Lexie shakes her head and says, "No. Steve's coming over later. Plus I have to work tomorrow afternoon. I'm just going to go home. But thanks for the offer." She walks over to the coat rack and grabs her coat.

"Thanks for staying with the kids, Lexie," Derek says as he helps her put her coat on. She turns and smiles at him and says, "No problem. Em stayed asleep the whole time anyway. And I had fun with Jake, once he stopped being mad at Meredith anyway. See you guys later." She opens the front door and walks out as I tell her "bye".

* * *

I fumble with the zipper on my jeans as I get changed for bed. Finally I just yank my pants down without unzipping them and kick them across the room as I mutter "stupid pants" under my breath. I can feel Derek smiling at me as I become frustrated with my attempt at undressing myself. "Need some help?" he asks as I begin unbuttoning my shirt.

I giggle and walk over to the bed and say,"Yes. My clothes hate me tonight." Derek smiles and grabs my waist as he pulls me in front of him. He runs his hand up under my shirt and smoothes his palm over my stomach. My hands tangle in his hair as he begins slowly unbuttoning my shirt and kissing all the newly exposed skin. He yanks my shirt off after he undoes the last of the buttons, and I can feel his hot breath against my chest as he presses his face against my skin and continues his assault of kisses.

I moan as I straddle his lap and his arms wrap around my back. His kisses move up my chest and across my neck. "Derek, " I whisper as he kisses along my jaw and towards my mouth.

"Yes?" he whispers back against my mouth.

"I love you," I say softly before pressing a long hard kiss onto his lips. I can feel him smiling through the kiss, and he pulls away slightly to say, "I love you, too."

**_Thanks for reading. Reviews are adored._**


	9. Kiss

I nuzzle my face against Derek's chest and pull the covers over my head as I hear the alarm clock switch on. Derek moves beneath me to reach across the bed to slap the clock and turn off the intruding noise.

"Mer," he croaks out as he rubs his hands down my naked back. "Mer, come on. It's time to get up."

I bury my face further into his chest and groan. My arms wrap tightly around his body and I force my eyes to stay closed. Derek pulls the blanket off of my head and he runs his fingers through my hair to brush it off of my cheeks.

"Come on, sweetheart," he urges. He wraps his arms around me and rolls us both over, so that he is now on top of me.

"Stop it," I grumble grouchily as Derek starts rubbing his stubble covered cheeks against mine in an effort to wake me up.

Derek lifts his head and smiles slightly at me. "Mer, really. You have to get up. Come on," he says as he lowers his head and begins to place a trail of warm kisses against my neck.

"Mmmm…" I manage to mumble as my eyes slowly open and I tangle my fingers into Derek's hair. "I wanna stay in bed," I say softly as I enjoy the feeling of Derek's lips on my skin.

Derek stops kissing and scoots his body higher so that his face is even with mine. He presses his lips softly on mine and kisses me tenderly as his hand finds its way down my shoulder and between my breasts. His fingers rest on my stomach momentarily, and then he starts tickling me.

I squeal and punch him in the arm as I wiggle out from under him. "Jerk," I mutter as I sit up on the bed against the headboard and pout. I cross my arms in front of my chest and shut my eyes again.

Derek grins and climbs off of the bed. He bends over and kisses my pouty lips before saying, "Sorry, sweetheart. Come on. I'll start your shower." He grabs one of my hands and pulls me off of the bed. My arms wrap around his waist and I hug him tight as I stand up. Derek returns the hug as he buries his face in my neck and begins sucking.

"Damn it, Derek," I grumble as I push him away from me. "I don't need a hickey this morning." I walk over to the dresser and pull out some clothes. Derek wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses my shoulder.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist. You're wearing my favorite outfit," he whispers into my ear as his hands run across my naked stomach and down my bare thighs.

I nudge him in the stomach with my elbow and force my body away from his. "Didn't you get enough last night?" I ask through a fake scowl as I turn to go into the bathroom.

Derek grins wickedly and turns my body around to look at him. His eyes narrow at me and he says, "Never, Mer. It's never enough."

I back slowly through the bedroom towards the bathroom door as I keep my eyes fixed on Derek. My eyes scan his naked body and then I rest my gaze on his eyes. I stop walking as I bump into the door behind me.

"Like what you see?" he teases as he walks slowly toward me. I grin and shrug my shoulders as I watch him walk. His body presses firmly against mine as he reaches me and shoves me against the door. He bends down slightly and kisses my lips hard. I moan and wrap my arms around his neck. His fingers move up my stomach and to my breasts.

I pull away from the kiss and breathlessly say, "Shower sex." Derek grins and nods his head in agreement. I turn and open the door, and we both freeze when we hear Jacob knock softly on our bedroom door. "Shit," we both say in unison as we rush into the bathroom and shut the door behind us. Derek frowns and grabs a towel from under the sink and wraps it around his waist. He sighs grumpily and I giggle as I wrap my arms around his waist. "Rain check?" I say through a grin as I look up at his grumpy face. He sighs again and mutters, "Tonight. After the kids are in bed. You. Me. Shower." He bends down and kisses me softly before turning and leaving the bathroom.

I smile and shake my head as I walk over to the shower and turn on the hot water. "Can't wait," I say to myself as I step into the shower.

* * *

"Morning, Jake," I say as I enter the kitchen and place a kiss on top of his messy dark hair. He looks up at me and smiles through his mouthful of French toast. I walk over to Emma's highchair and bend down in front of her. "Hey, sweetie," I say softly before kissing her quickly on the mouth. She reaches for my face with her fingers and squeezes my cheeks softly. "MaMa," she babbles loudly as she smiles at me. I grab her hands in mine and kiss her fingers quickly before sitting down next to her at the table.

I look over at the stove and notice Derek staring at me with a smirk. "What?" I ask as I scrunch my nose up at him.

He grins and says, "You're beautiful." He winks at me, and I can feel my cheeks starting to blush. Derek walks over to the table and places a plate of French toast and a cup of coffee in front of me. I look up at him and smile, and he bends over and places a soft, lingering kiss on my lips.

I exhale quietly as he pulls away and stands up. I focus my attention on my breakfast as I feel Derek once again staring at me. I take a bite of toast and look across the table at Derek. I giggle when I see him watching me eat. "What is your deal?" I ask shyly.

Derek tilts his head slightly and smiles softly. "Can't I look at my wife?" he teases as he wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I smile and shrug my shoulders. Jacob looks at me and climbs out of his chair. He walks over and climbs on my lap and wraps his arms around my stomach. "You're pretty, Mommy," he says as he looks up at me through a huge freckle faced smile.

I giggle and say, "Ok. What do you boys want? You're being awfully mushy this morning." I glance across the table at Derek and then down at Jacob. They both look innocently at me but don't say anything. I shake my head and continue eating my breakfast.

"MaMa!" Emma says loudly as she pounds her hands down on her tray. She smiles at me before shoving a Cheerio into her mouth. I giggle as I look down at my watch. I sigh as I notice what time it is.

"I gotta go, Jake," I say as I wrap my arms around his tiny body. He looks up at me sadly and pouts. "None of that today, mister. You're coming to see Santa at the hospital later, ok? And then you get to drive me home," I tell him.

Jacob laughs and says, "Mommy! I don't have my driver's license. I can't drive you home." I giggle and say, "Oh yeah. I forgot." I press a quick kiss onto his forehead and lift him off of my lap. "Bye, Jake," I say as I stand up. I bend over and kiss Emma on the cheek and tell her 'bye'. I wave my fingers up and down at her, and she tries to do the same back to me as she says, "bye-bye". I run my fingers across the top of her hair before I turn and walk out of the kitchen. Derek stands up and follows me to the front door.

"Where's my good-bye kiss?" he asks softly as he narrows his eyes at me in a way that makes my breath hitch in my throat.

I can feel my cheeks blushing again as butterflies start forming in my stomach. "Um, sorry," I say as I walk toward him. He smiles wickedly at me and grabs me by the waist. He places one hand behind my back and the other behind my head before tipping me over backward and kissing me hard on the lips.

I giggle through the kiss as I hold on tight to Derek's back so he doesn't drop me. He breaks the kiss off and frowns at me. "Next time you forget to kiss me good-bye, that's what's going to happen," he teases before kissing me quickly and standing me back up.

I exhale deeply and say, "Promise?" I smile widely at him and wink as I grab my keys and open the front door and leave for work.

* * *

I walk into the residents' lounge and drop my bag onto the bench in front of my locker. I grab some clean scrubs and begin quickly changing. I look over at the door as I hear it open. "Hey," I say as Cristina and Izzie walk in and begin getting ready for their shifts.

"Hey, Mer," they both say in unison.

Izzie smiles widely as she pulls her scrub top on. "So," she says as she sits down on the bench. "How was your anniversary? Did Derek do anything romantic? I bet he did. He's that guy. Mr. Romance, right?" she asks as she looks up at me with a sincere smile.

I grin and sit down next to her and start putting on my tennis shoes. "Well, we went to dinner at that new French place that opened last month. Can't think of the name. It was nice. Food was crappy. But Derek hired a violinist to serenade us during dessert. Shared some cheesecake. Drank some wine," I say. I look at Cristina and laugh as she pretends to gag herself with her finger.

"Whatever," I say as I roll my eyes at her. "Then we walked around downtown and looked at all the Christmas lights. It was pretty romantic, I guess. Just spending time talking, and making out at every street corner." I giggle as Cristina lets out a groan.

Izzie smiles at me and says, "Sounds nice."

I shrug my shoulders and say, "It was. Then we went home and had sex until like three a.m. I did not want to get up this morning." I pick up my clothes and hang them up in my locker. Cristina snorts and says, "Good lord, Meredith. You guys have been married forever and you still go at it like a couple of freaking bunnies." She rolls her eyes playfully at me and hands me her cup of coffee. "Here," she says. "You're going to need this. I noticed you're scheduled for a coronary bypass this morning."

I smile and take the coffee from her. "Thanks," I say. "And, for the record, we've only been married six years. Plus, we had to go almost two weeks without sex. So we were just making up for lost time." I stick my tongue out at Cristina before taking a long sip of coffee.

Cristina holds her hands up in front of her. "Whoa. Two weeks? I'm surprised McDreamy didn't croak or something. That's got to be some kind of record," she says sarcastically as she stands up and shoves her bag and clothes into her locker.

I giggle and say, "Maybe. And this morning he kept looking at me." Izzie and Cristina both stop what they are doing and look at me with raised eyebrows.

"Looking at you?" Izzie asks teasingly. She looks at Cristina and rolls her eyes.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "Yeah. Like…I don't know. Like he's some sort of love sick puppy or something."

"Oh gross, Meredith," Cristina says. "You two really are pathetic."

I laugh and shrug my shoulders and mutter, "Whatever. I've got to go. Bypass surgery in thirty minutes. What are you two doing today?"

"Clinic," Izzie says. She stands up and walks toward the door. She waves at us as she leaves the lounge.

"Nothing," Cristina mumbles.

I smile at her and say, "Want to scrub in with me?"

Cristina grins and says, "Thank you!"

I narrow my eyes at her and say, "Tell me my husband rocks."

Cristina's smile disappears and she says flatly, "What."

I giggle and repeat, "Tell me my husband rocks. Say it. Say, 'Meredith, Derek is totally hot and you are so lucky to have such an awesome husband." I laugh out loud as I watch Cristina's face contort into a scowl.

"No way," she says. "No surgery is worth that torture."

I shrug my shoulders and say, "Ok. Have fun doing nothing then. I'm going to go do a kick ass bypass surgery all by myself." I turn and begin walking toward the door. I smile wickedly as I hear Cristina exhale loudly behind me."Fine," she says sarcastically. "McDreamy is a freaking sex god or whatever."

I turn and look at Cristina and grin. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" I tease.

Cristina rolls her eyes at me and says, "I hate you."

* * *

I groan as my pager goes off for the third time in the past hour. I look across my patient at Cristina and smirk through my mask as she rolls her eyes at me.

"Let me guess," she teases. "Derek and the little pod people again?" She returns her gaze to the open chest cavity in front of us and laughs.

"Shut up," I say softly. "We're supposed to see Santa at five. And Mr. Carlton here is trying to make me late." I shake my head and I tighten my grip on the clamp I'm holding. "Want me to finish up?" Cristina asks sincerely as she begins placing a stitch in one of the exposed arteries.

"No thanks. I promised this guy's wife I'd come talk to her when I was finished. She was kind of freaking out before we brought him in here this morning. We're almost done, anyway," I reply. I look behind me to one of the interns observing us and tell him to call my husband and tell him I'm running late and to eat without me.

* * *

I walk into the cafeteria and see Derek and the kids sitting at a table near the windows. Jacob spots me and leaps off of his chair and runs towards me. "Mommy!" he yells as he reaches me and wraps himself around my legs.

I giggle and brush my hand through his hair. "Hey, Jake," I say. "You ready to go see Santa?"

Jacob releases me from his grip and jumps up excitedly. "Yes!" he says through a huge smile. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards the table Derek and Emma are at.

I grin as I look at Derek and notice the smile that is plastered across his face.

"Hey, sorry I'm so late," I say softly as I reach the table and sit down across from Derek.

"It's ok," he tells me as he winks at me. Emma holds her arms out towards me and says, "MaMa." I reach over and take her from Derek and give her a tight hug. "Hey, sweet Emma," I say before kissing her cheek. "Daddy picked out a beautiful dress for you. You look so pretty." I look over at Derek and smile at him.

He grins at me and says, "She takes after her mommy." I can feel my face blushing again and I shake my head.

I clear my throat and say, "I'm going to go change, and then we can go see Santa, ok?" Jake looks up at me and smiles. I bend over and give him a quick kiss, and then kiss Emma on the forehead. I hand her back to Derek as I stand up and start to walk away.

"Excuse me?" Derek says behind me.

I turn around and look at him with scrunched up eyebrows. "What? I need to change out of these scrubs. I'll be right back," I explain as I point with my thumb toward the exit.

Derek nods at me and says, "Right. But you forgot something."

I shake my head at him and say, "What?"Derek grins and stands up. He looks around and spots Izzie about to sit down at a table near us. He walks over to her and says, "Hold this," as he hands her Emma.

My breath catches in my throat as I realize what he is about to do. I mutter 'crap' under my breath and look up at the ceiling as Derek walks back over to me. I giggle as I feel his arms wrap around me and he tips me over. His eyes twinkle mischievously as he smiles widely at me and says, "You forgot my kiss again."

"Oops," I whisper before he presses his lips softly against mine. I blush as I hear someone whistle at us. I wrap my arms tightly around Derek's neck and deepen the kiss. "Sweet Jesus," I mutter as Derek pulls away. He stands me up and smiles at me. I giggle and shake my head as I turn and walk out of the cafeteria.

* * *

I reach down and entwine my fingers with Derek's as we watch Jacob run ahead of us and get in the short line to see Santa. "So, who had to wear the suit this year?" Derek asks as he readjusts Emma in his arm.

I laugh and say, "George, I think. He gets a kick out of it." Emma reaches out for me as we catch up to Jacob and join the line to see Santa. She lays her head down on my shoulder and sticks her thumb into her mouth. "Uh oh," I mutter as I glance at Derek. "Someone's getting sleepy. This could get ugly."

Derek rubs circles on Emma's back and whispers into her ear, "Hey, Em. You've got to stay awake just a little longer. You have to tell Santa what you want for Christmas." He smiles softly at her and shakes his head. "She's about to pass out," he tells me.

"Crap," I mutter. I berate myself silently for taking too long in surgery. Jake grabs my hand and tugs on it so we move forward in line.

"We're next," he tells me through a huge smile. He starts bouncing up and down excitedly, which makes my whole body shake. Emma lifts her head up and presses her face into mine as she continues sucking her thumb.

"Ready, Em?" I say softly as I turn her around. Jacob pulls on my hand and leads the way to Santa.

I giggle as I hear George say in a deep, Santa-like voice, "Ho Ho Ho! Come on up, Jacob!"

Jacob gasps and looks up at me in amazement that Santa knows his name. He releases my hand and climbs onto George's lap. George extends his free arm toward me so that I will set Emma down on his other knee. Derek pulls his camera out of his pocket and gets it ready.

Emma looks at Santa and latches her fingers into my hair as I bend down slightly to pass her over to George. I pull her fingers out of my hair as George takes her from me. She glances behind her at Santa's beard and face, and suddenly starts screaming. Her face turns bright red and tears stream down her face.

Jacob presses his hands over his ears and he shouts, "Emma! Be quiet!"

I nudge Derek in the stomach and say, "Take the picture already. She's causing a scene." He laughs and snaps a picture quickly. "Nice," Derek teases. "Definitely one for the Christmas cards."

I walk back over to Emma and take her off of Santa's lap. She stops crying and buries her face into my neck as she shoves her thumb back into her mouth.

Jake shakes his head and mutters, "babies". He whispers into Santa's ear what he wants for Christmas. I notice George's eyes begin to twinkle as he listens to Jacob's request. George hands Jacob a candy cane and tells him "Merry Christmas" in his best Santa voice. Jacob runs over to Derek and grabs his hand. "Look, Daddy," he says as he holds up the candy cane. Derek smiles and says, "Did you tell Santa what you wanted?"

Jacob nods and replies, "Yep. I told him I wanted a puppy. And a baby brother because my baby sister is too grumpy."

Derek looks at me and smiles widely.

"Crap," I mutter.

* * *

Emma snuggles her face against my shoulder as I carry her into the house. "These kids are wiped out," I whisper to Derek.

He smiles and shifts Jacob against his chest. "Makes bedtime easy," he says softly as he follows me up the stairs to the bedrooms.

I take Emma in her room and lay her down on the changing table. I gently remove her dress and diaper. I hold my breath as I try to put on a clean diaper without waking her up. She stirs slightly as I fasten the tabs, and she sticks her thumb into her mouth. I shove her feet and arms into her pajamas and quickly zip them up. I cuddle her against my chest as I reach for her pink blanket on the rocking chair. I slowly lay her down in her crib and cover her up. She opens her eyes and looks at me as she continues to suck her thumb. I rub my hand over her stomach lightly and watch as she closes her eyes and goes back to sleep.

I smile as I watch her eyelids flutter and her thumb drop out of her mouth. She begins to snore softly, and I leave the room and close the door behind me.

I walk into our bedroom and gasp as Derek grabs me from behind and shuts the door. "Kids are asleep," he says against my neck as he wraps his arms around my stomach.

I lean my head back against his shoulder and say, "They are." I close my eyes and sigh as Derek begins kissing a trail along my shoulders and back of my neck. "I need a shower," I whisper as I pull myself out of his embrace. "Ten hour surgery. I need to freshen up."

Derek smiles at me and raises his eyebrows suggestively. "I can help," he says softly as he grabs my hand and leads me to the bathroom. I smile as he walks to the tub and turns on the water. He feels the temperature and says, "Just right." He quickly removes his sweater and jeans and tosses them onto the floor next to me. My breath hitches as he pulls off his boxers and adds them to the pile of discarded clothes. He climbs into the shower and motions with his finger for me to join him.

I quickly undress as he watches me. I can once again feel myself blushing from his gaze as I climb into the shower with him. He wraps his arms around my waist and positions me under the shower head so that it is spraying directly onto my hair. I lean my head back and moan as the hot water drips down face. Derek's hands move up into my hair as he caresses it down my back while the water cascades off of it. His lips find my exposed neck and he kisses softly up and down as my hands hold onto his arms.

"God, Derek," I moan as I relish the feel of his warm lips on my wet skin.

Derek presses his body softly against mine as he kisses up my neck and onto my cheeks. I close my eyes, and he kisses my eyelids gently.

"Meredith," he says softly as he wraps his hands around my waist again.

"Hmmm…" I moan as I pull his face down to mine.

"I love you," he whispers before kissing me gently as hot water trickles down our faces.

I open my eyes and look at him as I break off the kiss. "I love you more," I say.

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing. Merry Christmas, everyone!_**


	10. It's All Over Now

**In honor of tomorrow's night episode which is promising to show a dancing Derek and smiling Meredith, I'm giving you a long chapter filled with nothing but McFamily fluff and goo. Enjoy!**

I hear Emma yelling "DaDa! DaDa!" repeatedly in her room, and I groan. Derek mumbles something incoherent as he rolls over and drapes his arm across my back as I bury my face into the pillow. He kisses my cheek and mumbles softly, "Aren't you going to go get her?"

I groan again and say groggily, "Aren't _you_ going to go get her?" I press my face further into the pillow and smile slightly as Derek kisses my cheek again and whispers, "_You_ go get her."

I keep my eyes shut and say teasingly, "_You _go get her." I giggle when Emma shouts "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" and we hear her banging something on the side of her crib.

Derek laughs and buries his face into my neck. "Come on, Mer. Go get her," he begs. I can feel him smiling as he speaks against my skin.

I giggle again as I keep my eyes pressed tightly closed. "I'm _so_ not getting her," I say with a sleepy sigh.

We lay silently for a moment and listen for Emma, but we hear nothing. "Maybe she went back to sleep," Derek says hopefully.

"Mmmhmmm," is all I can manage to reply as I try to avoid waking up completely.

We hear Jacob open our bedroom door, and we both groan and sit up grumpily.

My eyes spring open and my hand flies across my mouth as I see Jacob standing in the doorway holding a grinning Emma tightly with his arms wrapped around her belly.

"Jacob! What are you doing!" I say loudly. Derek jumps off of the bed and rushes over to grab Emma out of Jacob's little arms. We both let out a sigh of relief as Derek walks back over to the bed and scoots next to me. Emma wraps her arms around Derek's head and pulls his face to her as she gives him a big slobbery kiss on the mouth. "DaDa," she babbles happily as the drool runs down her chin.

I giggle as I watch Derek wipe his wet face off with Emma's pajamas. "Good morning, Princess," Derek says softly as he smiles at Emma.

I look up just in time to see Jacob running at full speed and jumping up onto the bed near my feet.

"Hi, Mommy," he says happily. "Did you see that I got Emma out of bed all by myself? I'm so strong, huh Mommy," he says proudly. He flexes his arms to show me his muscles. He crawls up on top of me and straddles my waist with his short legs. He presses his hands on my cheeks and squeezes them together, making my face contort into something resembling a fish. He kisses me quick on the lips before letting my face go.

I giggle and say, "Yeah, I did see that Jake. Why did you get Emma out of bed? You know you're not allowed to carry her like that. She's too heavy." I reach forward and brush his messy hair out of his eyes.

Jacob pushes my hand away from his face and says very seriously, "Mommy. She was screaming for one hundred hours. It was hurting my ears. Didn't you hear her, Mommy?"

I try not to smile as I look over at Derek and then back at Jacob. "I guess not, Jake. Must have been sleeping hard," I say with a wink.

Jacob looks at me and says sarcastically, "Don't you mean snoring hard, Mommy?" He folds his arms in front of his chest and grins mischievously at me.

Derek laughs loudly and then quickly stops as I turn and glare at him. I turn my face back to Jacob and plaster a huge pout on my lips. He giggles and leans forward and says, "Just kidding, Mommy." He tries to shove my lip back into my mouth with his finger. I keep pouting as I bat my eyes pitifully at Jacob.

Derek holds Emma tightly with one arm, and reaches over with his other and tickles me on the ribs as he says, "This is how you do it, Jacob."

I giggle and try to squirm away from Derek, but Jacob lays down on top of me forcing me to stay where I am. They both begin tickling me unmercifully and I shout, "Ok, I give up!" Jacob rolls off of me and stands up on the bed. He shouts, "YES! Me and Daddy are the winners! Boys rule, girls drool!"

Derek and I both laugh, and I say, "We do not drool, do we Em?" I giggle as I look over at Emma just as she plasters a huge sloppy kiss on Derek's nose.

Derek groans and wipes the drool off his nose with his hand. "I think actually, you do drool, Sweetheart," Derek teases as he leans over and kisses me softly on the lips. "Here, take the drool monster, and Jacob and I will go cook breakfast," he says as he hands me Emma.

I roll my eyes and grin as Emma grabs my hair with her fingers and tugs my face to hers before giving me my slobbery good-morning kiss on my mouth.

* * *

"Here, Mommy," Jacob says through a huge smile as he places a plate of waffles in front of me. "Want some syrup?" he asks as he reaches for the bottle.

I smile and say, "Thanks, Jake." I bite my lip nervously as I watch him tip the bottle over and dump half of it on my waffle. "Mmmmm….just the way I like it," I say with a giggle as I cut a piece off and watch as the syrup cascades onto my plate as I bring it to my mouth.

Jacob grins and jumps back into his seat and says, "You're welcome, Mommy." He quickly shoves several big bites of waffle into his mouth and chews.

I giggle as I watch his cheeks bulge out as he eats. "In a hurry, Jake?" I ask before taking a sip of my coffee.

He holds his hands up and yells, "I'm done!" He jumps out of his chair and races out of the kitchen.

I raise my eyebrows inquisitively at Derek and he shrugs his shoulders. "I told him he could go play with Panda after he ate."

I nod my head and say, "Ah. That explains it. I'm surprised he even ate anything at all. Those two have been attached like conjoined twins since Christmas morning."

Derek laughs and says, "I was the same way when I was his age. Boys and dogs go together, I guess."

I smile and cut another bite of my waffle off. "No offense, but this is really disgusting," I say as I hold the waffle up and the syrup runs off of it like a waterfall. I scrunch up my nose as I drop my fork down. I reach over and drag Jacob's plate of half-eaten waffle in front of me and start eating it. "What?" I say as I notice Derek's amused expression.

"You know, I would have made you a fresh one," he teases.

I giggle and shrug my shoulders. "Whatever," I say as I roll my eyes. I look over at Emma and laugh when I see her sticking her Cheerios on top of her head. "You look pretty, Emma. Is that what all the babies are wearing this year?" I say sarcastically as I smile at her.

She bounces up and down in her high chair, and giggles as the cereal rains down off of her head. She expertly picks up a piece off of her tray and holds it out for me. I smile as I lean towards her and eat it out of her little chubby fingers. "Mmmm…Thanks, Em," I say through my smile.

Derek laughs and says teasingly, "Wow, you'll eat anything, won't you, Sweetheart?"

I wiggle my eyebrows and say, "You wish." I giggle and wink at him as he says, "Ouch," and he places his hand over his heart and pouts.

* * *

"Can't you throw it any further than that?" Derek teases after I toss a slobbery tennis ball across the front yard.

I scowl at him and say, "Shut up! My hands are cold. I think my fingers are turning into ice cubes. I couldn't get a good grip or whatever." I stick my tongue out at him and then bend down to take the ball out of Panda's mouth as he brings it back to me. I hold it between my thumb and forefinger and make a disgusted face at all of the drool. "Gross. This is definitely a boy thing," I mutter as I toss the ball to Derek.

He laughs at me and throws the ball, and we watch as Panda and Jacob race for it.

Jacob says, "I win!" and grabs the ball off of the ground before the puppy can get it into his mouth. He giggles as he runs away and Panda chases after him across the yard. Jacob trips on his own feet and falls onto his stomach. He buries his head into his arms as Panda climbs on top of him and starts licking the sides of his face. Derek and I laugh as we hear Jacob yelling, "AH! Doggie drool!"

I walk back up onto the porch and pick Emma up out of her playpen. I kiss her cold pink cheek and say, "You cold, Sweetie?"

Emma sticks her thumb into her mouth and lays her head onto my shoulder.

Derek walks up to us and he kisses Emma on the cheek. "She's cold," he says as he smiles at the way Emma is cuddled up to me.

"We're going in," I say. "Don't let him stay out here too long." I smile and shake my head as I watch Jacob stand up and start running away from his puppy again.

Derek rolls his eyes and says, "Yeah, right. He's going to want to stay out here all day." He leans forward and kisses me quickly on the lips. I reach over with my free hand and grab the front of his jacket and pull him back to me as he smiles at me. He gives me a soft lingering kiss before pulling away. "Is that better?" he asks. I shake my head and he laughs. He wraps his arms around me and pulls my body as close to him as he can. Emma lifts her head and looks at Derek, and then lays her face back down on my shoulder. Derek smiles and gives me a long, warm, wet kiss that leaves me breathless.

"Going in now," I say softly as he breaks the kiss off. Derek winks at me and then swats my rear as I turn to walk into the house.

I set Emma down on the floor so I can take off my coat. She immediately pulls up onto my leg and reaches up for me as she stands herself up. "Hold on, Em," I say as I hang my coat up. I bend over and unzip her coat and tug it off of her arms. I pull her hat off and laugh when her hair sticks straight up from the static. I pick her up and kiss her on the nose. "Should we watch a movie?" I ask her as I carry her into the living room. I stick a dvd in the player and then pick up a blanket on my way to the couch. I lay down on the couch and lay my head on the cushion as I adjust Emma to straddle my stomach with her legs. She immediately lays her head down on my chest and sucks her thumb. I cover us both up with the blanket and flip the television on. My eyes begin to get droopy as soon as the movie starts, and I smile when I realize that Emma is already sound asleep on top of me. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

* * *

I wake up but don't open my eyes when I hear Jacob and Derek talking from the recliner. I try not to giggle but fail when Jacob asks, "Daddy, why do girls snore?" I pry one eye open and say, "Jacob, Emma and I do not snore. I don't know why you keep saying stuff like that."

Jacob smiles at me and says, "Mommy, you sounded like a bear. We couldn't even hear the television."

I roll my eyes playfully and mutter, "Whatever, Jake. I've never heard any snoring." I feel Emma stirring on top of me, and she lifts her face up to look at me. Her face is all sweaty and red where it was resting on my chest. She wiggles to get off of me, so I lift her up and set her down on the floor. She pulls herself up and walks along the length of the couch slowly as she holds on. Suddenly, she drops her arms by her side and tries to take a step forward.

"What the heck?" I say as I watch Emma. I can feel tears unexplainably begin forming in my eyes and I bite my bottom lip nervously. "Ok, tell me she is not doing that," I say to Derek.

Derek smiles at me and says, "Sorry. It's all over now. Hide your toys, Jacob. You're sister is on the loose."

I wipe a tear from the side of my face and mutter, "She's not old enough to be walking." I place my hand on my forehead and choke back a small sob. Emma takes another step forward and then drops down onto her knees. She quickly crawls over to her toy box and stands herself up again. I close my eyes so I don't have to watch her walking anymore.

Derek shakes his head at me and gets out of the chair. He kneels in front of me and places his face on my stomach. "Mer, she can't stay a baby forever," he whispers. He reaches his hand to my face and wipes another tear away.

"She's only ten months old, Derek. She shouldn't be walking already," I say softly. I cover my eyes with my hand and roll over onto my side to face Derek.

"She's old enough, Meredith. The second baby always walks sooner than the first. She's got to keep up with her big brother," he says. He places a soft kiss onto my lips.

I sigh as I shake my head and say, "Crap. I hate this."

Derek rests his cheek on my stomach again and says, "I know, Sweetheart."

I smile and tangle my fingers into the back of his hair. "You think I'd get in trouble if I stuck a brick in her diaper?"

Derek laughs at me and says, "I don't think that will work, Mer."

I giggle and say, "Rats. What time is it, anyway?"

Derek glances down at his watch and says, "Three o'clock. You girls slept through lunch."

I smile and say, "I know. We were busy cuddling." I cringe when I see Emma take an unassisted step toward the bookshelf.

* * *

"This cookbook sucks," I say grumpily as I stir my concoction on the stove. "Seriously, look at this crap. It looks nothing like the picture in the book." I use my ladle to scoop up a big serving of soup and hold it out for Derek to inspect.

He scrunches his nose up and says, "Holy crap! What the hell did you do?"

I giggle and smack his arm before dumping the soup back into the pot. "I suck at cooking. Can't we just order a damn pizza?" I ask through my giggle.

Derek nods and says, "We're going to have to. I'm scared to even look at that…what was it supposed to be again?"

"Vegetable stew, smart ass," I say while pretending to be angry.

Derek looks shocked and says, "Really? Wow. That's just…scary. Yeah, we'll order pizza."

"Good," I say, "and then I'm throwing this damn book into the fireplace. I still can't believe Izzy gave me a cookbook for Christmas. What the hell was she thinking?" I pick up the book and scrunch my nose up.

Derek shrugs his shoulders and says, "I have no idea."

* * *

"Tell me again why I'm the one who has to do this?" I ask Jacob as he kneels beside me by the bathtub.

He smiles sweetly at me and says, "Because you're the mommy." He picks up the baby shampoo and hands it to me.

"And, what else?" I say as I take the bottle from him.

His smile grows and he holds his hands up in the air. "And," he says loudly, "Mommy rocks!"

I giggle and say, "That's what I like to hear. Ugh, Jake. Your dog is smelly." I squirt some shampoo onto my hand and begin rubbing into Panda's short black and white fur as he wiggles in the water below us.

"Yeah," Jacob says sarcastically, "that's why we're giving him a bath, Mommy. Remember?"

I roll my eyes and say, "You could help here you know, Jake. Dump the water over him and rinse off the bubbles."

Jacob picks up the cup and pours water all over Panda's body. We both squeal as Panda shakes his body rapidly to dry himself off. Jacob ducks behind me to keep from getting soaked.

"Whew, that was close," Jacob says as he crawls out from behind me.

I raise my eyebrows at him and giggle. "What do you mean 'whew'? I'm soaked!" I say as I pick up a towel and begin drying myself off.

Jacob giggles at me and then yells, "Panda! NO!" as the puppy lunges out of the tub and runs down the hall. Jacob gets up and runs after him.

I sigh as I finish wiping off, and mutter sarcastically to myself, "Yeah, let's get him a puppy for Christmas. Great idea, Derek."

* * *

"What's wrong?" I ask softly as I go into Emma's room and notice the frown upon Derek's face as he looks down into her crib.

He looks at me and smiles sadly. "She wouldn't let me rock her to sleep," he whispers.

I return his sad smile and wrap my arms around his waist as we stand quietly watching Emma sleep. I bury my face into his chest and let out a sigh. "I hate this," I mutter.

"Me too," he whispers. I look up at him and he presses a soft kiss onto my lips. "Jacob asleep?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head and say, "No. He's waiting for you to read to him." Derek kisses me again and then pulls the blanket up over Emma's chest. He grabs my hand and leads me out of her bedroom.

We walk into Jacob's room together and laugh as we see Jacob standing on his bed wearing only his underwear and his Batman mask from Halloween. Panda is laying on the bed next to his feet licking his toes.

"Hmmm…this is interesting," Derek teases. "Do we all get to read a story in our underwear tonight?"

Jacob giggles and says, "Nope. Just the boys."

I smile and say, "Rats. I guess I have to leave then. Goodnight, Jacob." I walk over to him and give him a big kiss before squeezing him in a tight hug. "Love you," I say as he pulls away from me.

"Do you know how much I love you, Mommy?" Jacob asks with a huge grin on his freckled face.

I smile and say, "Hmmm….how much?"

Jacob stretches his arms as far as he can and says, "This much. All the way to outer space."

I make a surprised face and say, "Wow, I'm a lucky mom." I smile at Jacob and give him another quick kiss. I wink at Derek and say, "I'm going to take a quick shower. Try not to stay up too late, boys."

* * *

I flop down on my bed and grab a book off of my nightstand. I wonder what's taking Derek so long in Jake's room, and I debate going to look for him or not. I shrug my shoulders and assume they need some male-bonding time, so I open my book and begin reading. An hour later, I realize Derek still isn't in bed, and it's now way past Jacob's bedtime. I close my book and climb out of bed. I walk to Jacob's room and smile as I see Jacob and Derek lying on their stomachs in Jacob's bed. Both are in their underwear, snoring loudly while Panda is cuddled up in between them. I walk over and run my hand down Derek's back and whisper "wake up" into his ear. He moans and buries his face into Jacob's pillow. I giggle and then start kissing his face repeatedly until he opens his eyes to look at me. "Come to bed, Derek," I whisper.

Derek nods and rolls off of the bed. He stands up and rubs his hands through his hair.

"Nice outfit, Derek," I tease as I pull Jacob's blanket up and tuck him in. I pick up Panda and put him on top of the blanket.

Derek grins and picks his shirt and pants up off of the floor. He follows me as I leave Jacob's room. We walk into our bedroom and Derek falls backward onto the bed after he drops his clothes onto the floor. "God, I'm tired," he says as he rests his arms above his head.

I sigh and climb on top of him. My legs straddle his waist, and I run my hands up his stomach and onto his chest. "Too tired for sex?" I ask as I bend down and begin kissing his neck.

Derek moans and says, "Will you be mad if I say 'yes'?" He puts his hands on my thighs and smiles slightly at me.

I roll my eyes and tease, "I should have left you in bed with Jake." I climb off of him and scoot my body over to my side of the bed and begin to pout playfully.

Derek grins as he rolls over and wraps his arms around my waist. He presses his face into my neck and kisses softly. "You're much cuddlier than Jake," he whispers. He stops kissing and lays his head above my shoulder on my pillow.

I smile and say, "Goodnight, Derek." I turn my face and kiss him gently. He returns my kiss and tells me, "I love you, Mer."

I kiss him again and say, "You better, mister."

**Happy Grey's Day tomorrow!!! Thanks for reading!**


	11. Ice Cream Makes It Better

**Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments! **

I groan when I hear my pager start beeping on the nightstand by Derek's side of the bed. I pry my eyes open and roll slightly on top of him. I lay my cheek on his chest as I pick my pager up and turn it off. "Crap," I mumble as I toss it back down on the nightstand and bury my face in Derek's t-shirt.

Derek runs his hands up my back as I lay on top of him. "Morning," he says quietly without opening his eyes to look at me.

I scoot my body higher on top of his and kiss him softly. "It's not morning. It's two a.m.," I grumble before rolling back off of him. His hand stays on my back as I force myself to sit up. He turns his body over to look at me as I grab the phone and dial the hospital. I rub my free hand across my eyes to help myself wake up. "This is Dr. Shepherd," I say into the phone. My eyes close again as I pull my knees to my chest and listen in the dark to the nurse. "Go ahead and book an OR for four o'clock. I'll be there in an hour to meet with her parents," I say firmly. I hang the phone up and toss it onto my nightstand. I press my face into my hands and sigh sadly.

Derek wraps his arm around my waist and lays his face onto my stomach as I extend my legs and sit with my back against the headboard. I smile down at him and run my fingers through his hair. "I have to go. It's Alyssa," I say quietly. Derek lifts his head and looks at me with concern. I can feel his eyes on me as I stand up and walk into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

* * *

I quietly open the door to Emma's room and walk over to her crib. My fingers run softly through her dark curls while I watch her sleep. A smile crosses my face when Emma lets out a tiny giggle, and I try to keep myself from laughing at how adorable she looks when she is dreaming. I pull her pink blanket back up over her chest before leaving her room and walking to Jacob's. I open his door and kneel down by his bed. Panda lifts his sleepy head off of Jacob's arm and looks at me. I scratch him gently on his furry neck before pulling Jacob's blanket back over his body. I notice something bulging out of the bottom of the covers, so I pull them up slightly and look underneath. I smile wide when I notice Jacob has slept in his rain boots and favorite pair of 'fishing' pants. I tuck the blanket back around Jacob's legs and kiss him softly on the cheek before I leave his bedroom.

* * *

"Here's your breakfast," Derek says with a smirk as he hands me a travel mug full of coffee. He leans his body back against the wall by the front door and runs his hand through his messy hair. He smiles at me softly as I take the cup from him.

"Thanks," I say as I reach up and wrap my free hand around his neck. I pull his face to mine and kiss him firmly. "Have fun with the kids today. Hopefully I can make it home before dinner," I tell him.

He runs his hands across my waist and tangles them around my back. He pulls my body tight against his and buries his face in my neck. "Are you alright?" he asks against my skin before placing a warm kiss on my collarbone.

I sigh as I close my eyes briefly and say, "This will be the second time I've operated on her in three months. I have a bad feeling."

Derek lifts his head and smiles slightly at me. "You know you can't think like that, Meredith. She needs you to be confident when you step into that OR," he whispers as his hand caresses my cheek. I close my eyes and enjoy the warm comfort of his hand against my skin.

I force a small smile on my face and say softly, "I need to go to work. And you need to go back to bed. Maybe you can get a few more hours of sleep before Jake decides it's time to go fishing."

Derek groans and mumbles, "I did tell him we would fish this morning, didn't I?"

I smile and say, "You did. And he slept in his rain boots, so he's going to be ready to go as soon as his eyes open." I lean forward and kiss him again quickly.

Derek holds me tight and brings his lips to mine once more and says, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Derek," I whisper before pulling out of his embrace and opening the front door.

* * *

I walk into the waiting area and spot Alyssa's parents. They immediately stand up to come greet me warmly. I can see the concern on their faces, so I try to look confident and reassuring. "Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, good morning," I say as I extend my hand to shake theirs.

"Dr. Shepherd, why are we pushing the surgery up so quickly?" Mr. Morgan asks me. His face looks tired and worn as he looks at me with fear in his eyes.

"Alyssa's breathing became more labored over night. I feel it's best if we go ahead with the surgery as soon as possible. We can't wait until Monday as we had planned," I say as I nod my head.

"But it's only been three months since her ASD procedure," Mrs. Morgan says. "Isn't she still recovering from that? Isn't this too soon? What about a transplant?" I can see tears forming in her eyes and I swallow a lump of nervousness in my throat.

"It is soon, you're right. But Alyssa is a fighter. She's very resilient, and I wouldn't do this procedure this morning if I felt she wasn't ready. She is on the transplant list, but she's not at the top. We can't wait, Mrs. Morgan. Her heart is starting to fail. The Ross procedure is an extensive surgery, but once it's completed, Alyssa shouldn't need another surgery for a very long time," I say. I reach my hand out and place it on her arm to comfort her. "There are risks, though, especially with her heart being weak. We've gone over those already, right?" I look back and forth between their faces, and they both nod silently to me. I give a reassuring smile and say, "Alyssa will be taken down to the OR in ten minutes. You have time to see her before they take her out of her room. I'll send someone out to keep you updated through the surgery." I turn and walk out of the waiting area and head to the locker room to get changed into my scrubs.

* * *

I look at the tiny, sleeping, angelic face in front of me and then at her chest. I look at the scar from the last time I cut her chest open and take a deep breath. I extend my hand to the scrub nurse and ask for a ten blade. My hand is steady as I cut Alyssa's chest again. After her chest is cracked and open, I smile under my scrub mask when I see that the hole in her heart that I repaired only three months ago is completely healed. "You are a fighter, Alyssa," I say quietly. Suddenly, I feel confident that this surgery will have a good outcome.

Hours pass as I remove and replace valves with a steady urgency. As I close the last stitch in her heart and prepare to take Alyssa off of the bypass machine, the image of her parents suddenly fills my consciousness. I shake my head to get the image out, and I tell the technician to shut off the bypass machine. I hold my breath as I wait for Alyssa's heart to begin beating on its own again. My heart begins to race as adrenaline surges through my body when I realize something is wrong. The tiny heart isn't working. I flick it with my finger to encourage it to beat. I wait silently in anticipation. Too much time is passing and I yell at my intern to hand me the paddles. I mutter, "Damn it, Alyssa," as I send a current of electricity to her still non-beating heart. I shock it again when there is no response. My stomach aches as I shock her tiny heart for a final time and realize that it's not going to beat ever again.

I drop the paddles onto Alyssa's stomach and let out a long angry breath. "Time of death, fourteen twenty-three," I whisper before turning to hurry out of the OR. I methodically pull my gloves and mask off and toss them in the trash. I angrily turn on the water and scrub my hands under the scalding water. I can feel tears forming in my eyes and I feverishly blink to keep them from spilling over. "Keep it together," I tell myself as I prepare to deliver the worst news of their lives to Alyssa's parents.

* * *

I try to keep my emotions in check as I approach her parents in the waiting area. They see me and stand, only to drop back into their seats when I take an unsteady breath and begin to speak. "I'm so sorry. The surgery went smoothly, but her heart just wouldn't start beating again. Alyssa's heart was just too weak to start beating on it's own," I say as I shake my head. I know that her parents no longer hear me as they sit in anguish holding onto each other like life preservers. I close my eyes momentarily and take in a deep breath. "Social services will be down to speak to you shortly," I say softly as I wring my hands together. I turn and walk quickly out of the waiting area and run down the hall to the residents' lounge. I enter the restroom and sit down on the floor with my back against the wall. I bring my knees to my chest and I press my face into them.

Angry silent tears fall down my cheeks while I go over every step of the operation in my head. I lose track of how long I sit there, and finally the door opens. I wipe the tears from my face and look up to see Izzie standing there looking down on me with understanding. She slides her back down the wall and sits next to me silently. I rest my forehead in my hand as I look down at my knees.

"I hate my job," I say quietly as I turn and look at Izzie.

Izzie smiles at me and shakes her head. "No you don't, Meredith. You love it. You hate that you can't save everybody," she replies. She nudges my shoulder with hers and looks down at her hands as she sits cross-legged next to me.

"Fine," I mutter sadly. "I don't hate my job. I just hate that a four-year old died on my table this morning." I look at Izzie and give her a small smile.

"There's always room for you on my surgical team if you want to make the switch," Izzie teases as she smiles widely at me.

I roll my eyes playfully and say, "Join the gynie squad? No thanks, Iz." I smile at her as she stands up and extends her hands down to me. I grab her hands with mine and she pulls me off the floor.

"You ok?" she asks as we stand facing each other.

"Yeah," I lie.

* * *

I pull my car into the driveway as the sun is setting behind me, and I can see Jacob standing on the couch staring out the living room window. I smile to myself when he begins waving happily at me. I get out of the car and am immediately greeted by Jacob when he wraps his arms tightly around my legs.

"Hi, Mommy!" he says cheerfully as he looks up at me with his big blue eyes.

I giggle and say, "Hi, Jacob." I stick my hands under his armpits and lift him up against my body and hug him tight.

He wraps his legs around my waist, and my neck is strangled by his arms as he returns my hug.

"Not so tight, Jake," I say softly as I try to pry his little hands from around my neck.

Jacob pulls his face back and says, "Sorry, Mommy." He kisses me quick on the lips before wiggling out of my grasp and jumping to the ground. He runs across the yard and up the steps to the house. I follow him slowly to the house, and shut the door behind me as I go in.

I smile widely when I see Derek sprawled out on his stomach on the floor. He smiles back at me as Emma sits on his back with her little legs straddling his waist. Emma looks at me and begins bouncing up and down excitedly while Derek groans underneath her. I giggle as I sit cross-legged on the floor next to Derek, and Emma grabs a big handful of his hair and pulls.

Derek groans again and says pathetically, "I hate being the horsie." I can't help but laugh as Emma continues to bounce up and down on his back.

"You love it and you know it, Derek," I tease as I bend forward and kiss Emma quickly on the forehead. "Hey baby girl," I say through my smile. Emma reaches her hands out to me, and I lift her off of Derek's back. I lay down on my back and let Emma straddle my waist. She leans forward and lays her head down on my chest as she sticks her thumb in her mouth, and I wrap my arms around her back.

Derek turns on his side and props his head up with his elbow. "Ok, that's just not fair," he whines with a smile. "She breaks my back all afternoon with her tushy, and you walk in the door and get all the snuggles." He scoots his body close to mine and kisses me softly on the lips. He can tell when he looks in my eyes that I've been crying.

I smile softly at him before turning my face to look up at the ceiling. I sigh sadly and run my hands through Emma's hair as she cuddles further into my chest.

Derek presses his lips against my ear and wraps his hand across my stomach. "I love you, Sweetheart," he whispers into my ear. I turn my face to his and give him a small reassuring smile. He places a soft lingering kiss onto my lips, and I feel a tear escape from my eye and roll down my cheek toward the floor.

Derek wipes the tear from my cheek with his thumb as he says quietly, "You missed dinner."

I swallow guiltily and say, "I know. I just needed some time to pull myself together before I came home."

Derek nods in understanding, and he kisses my cheek as I look back up at the ceiling. I close my eyes as he kisses my neck, and he puts his hands on top of mine as I hold Emma tight against my chest.

"She's ready for bed," Derek says softly against my ear as he nuzzles his face against my cheek.

I smile and nod as we both sit up. Derek stands up and takes Emma from my chest, and extends his free hand to help me stand. Emma holds her hands out to me, and I take her from Derek. "Come on, Em. Let's get your jammies," I say as I walk up the stairs with her.

Jacob runs past me as he hurries down the stairs, with Panda right behind his heels. "Hi, Mommy! Bye, Mommy!" he shouts loudly as he jumps over the bottom step and races for the kitchen.

"Hmmm…he must be after ice cream," I mutter softly to Emma. I put her down on the carpet as we walk into her bedroom. She takes a few unsteady steps toward her toy box, and then drops to her knees and quickly crawls the remainder of the way. She reaches in and grabs a stuffed puppy out of the box, and plops down on her bottom with it as she hugs it against her chest. "Paa," she says as she looks up at me and smiles. I smile back down at her and say, "Yeah, Panda." I grab a pair of green polka-dotted pajamas from her drawer and a clean diaper from her changing table. I walk over to Emma and sit down next to her on the floor. I pick her up and then lay her down between my legs and begin undressing her. She fusses as I tear off her old diaper and shove the new one under her body.

"Stop wiggling, Em," I say softly as I try to stick her feet into her pajamas. Emma rolls over and starts crawling away quickly with one foot still in her pajamas. I lunge forward onto my stomach and grab her around the leg to make her stop crawling. "Get back here, you little monkey," I say as I sit up on my knees and pick her up.

I lay her back down and shove her feet into her pajamas before she can roll over again. I run one finger up her belly and leave a tickle trail up to her nose. She giggles at me as I stick her arms in her jammies and zip up the front. I stand her up in front of me and smile as she reaches forward and touches my nose with her hand. I pull her body close to me and hug her tight before kissing her repeatedly on her cheek. I stand up with Emma against my chest, and I walk over to the rocking chair. "Want to rock with Mommy?" I ask as I sit down and wrap her blanket around her back. Emma looks up at me and shoves her thumb into her mouth as she lays her head on my shoulder. We rock silently for a few minutes, and then Emma begins to squirm. I stand up and say, "Alright, Em. You can lay down now." I lay her in her crib and tuck her blanket around her chest. My fingers run through her hair as I watch her roll onto her side and close her eyes. I stand quietly and watch her as she drifts off to sleep. I reach onto the floor and grab the stuffed puppy she was playing with and place it next to her in the crib. My eyes fill with water as I watch my perfect healthy daughter sleep peacefully below me.

* * *

"I hope you boys saved me some," I tease as I walk into the kitchen and sit next to Jacob at the table.

Jacob laughs and says, "Sorry, Mommy. You have to eat your dinner first." He points his finger towards the microwave. "Daddy made broccoli and cheese. He just heated it up for you."

I scrunch my nose up and say, "You're kidding, right Jake? You're going to make me eat broccoli while you chow down on strawberry ice cream?"

Jacob shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't make the rules, Mommy. Eat your dinner like a good girl, and then you can have ice cream." He smiles at me and shoves a large frozen strawberry in his mouth.

I laugh as his face contorts into a scowl and he spits the strawberry back into his bowl. He wags his hand in front of his mouth and says breathlessly, "Too cold."

I wink at Derek as I stand up and walk over to the microwave and take my dinner out. I grab a fork and plop the plate onto the table and sit down. "Mmmm," I say sarcastically. "This is way better than ice cream." I take a big bite of broccoli and wiggle my eyebrows at Jacob. "Wanna trade?" I ask him.

Jacob folds his arms over his ice cream and says, "No way, Mommy. You're not tricking me like that again."

Derek and I laugh as we watch him eat his ice cream with his face two inches from the bowl to keep me from sticking my fork in it.

* * *

"So, did you and Daddy have fun fishing today, Jake?" I ask as stand up and put his Clifford book back on the bookshelf next to his bed.

He smiles at me as he pulls his blanket under his chin. "Yep. I caught a huge fish, Mommy. But Daddy didn't get to fish. He just kept wiping mud off of Emma's hands cuz she kept eating it. She was sooooo messy." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

I giggle as I sit down on the bed next to Jacob. I run my hand across his forehead and push his hair off his face. "I love you, Jacob," I say softly before bending down and kissing him on the cheek. He wraps his arms around my neck and hugs me tightly. I lay my face against his shoulder and close my eyes while he squeezes my head.

"I love you, Mommy," he says as he finally lets me go. "Sorry I didn't share my ice cream." He smiles innocently at me as he rolls over onto his side.

I smile back at him and say, "That's ok, Jake. I had to eat my dinner first anyway." I look down at the floor and snap my fingers at Panda. He lifts his head off of the carpet and runs over to me. I pick him up and put him on the bed next to Jacob. "Goodnight, boys," I say as I stand up and walk to the door. I look back at Jacob before turning off the light, and smile when I see him with his arm wrapped tightly around Panda's back.

I walk into my bedroom and grab a t-shirt out of the dresser. I quickly take my blouse and pants off and unhook my bra, throwing my clothes carelessly to the floor. I pull the t-shirt over my head and walk over to the bed. I sigh and flop down onto my back and close my eyes. I hear Derek walk in and shut the door.

He sits down on the bed next to me and says, "I brought you something."

I smile and open my eyes, and giggle when I see him holding a bowl of strawberry ice cream in front of me. I sit up and lean over to kiss him. "Thanks," I say as I take the bowl from him. I scoot my body up the bed and sit with my back against the headboard. Derek walks to his side of the bed and sits next to me. I can feel him looking at me, and I say, "I don't want to talk about it." I take a big bite of ice cream and stare into the bowl.

Derek turns his body to face mine, and he runs his hand along my stomach. "Ok," he says softly. He nuzzles his face into my arm and sits quietly next to me as I eat a few more bites. His hand moves off of my stomach and down to my bare legs. I can feel goosebumps forming where his hands have roamed. I smile as he scoots lower on the bed and rests his head onto my stomach. I reach over and put the bowl onto my nightstand, and then run my fingers through his hair as he continues to rub my legs and thighs with his hands. He buries his face into my stomach and kisses me through my t-shirt. I let out a soft breath and close my eyes. "She had the same birthday as Jake. They were the same age," I say quietly.

Derek lifts his head and looks sadly at me. "You did everything you could for her, Meredith. You know that," he says softly as his chin rests on my stomach.

I nod my head and run my nails gently against his scalp. Derek closes his eyes and kisses my stomach again. I force back tears that are forming in my eyes as Derek scoots his body back up even with mine. He places his hands on both sides of my face and makes me look at him.

"I love you," he whispers before kissing me softly on the lips. I smile slightly at him as he pulls away. He releases my face and climbs on top of me.

I wrap my legs around the back of his, and my hands tangle around his neck. I stare into his eyes for a moment, and then I say, "I want another baby."

Derek frowns and takes a quick breath in before saying, "What?"

I smile and say, "You heard me." I play with the curls on his neck as he stares at me.

He places a kiss onto my collarbone before climbing off of me. His body melts into mine as he scoots next to me and wraps his arm around my waist. "What brought this on?" he asks as he studies my face.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I don't know. I"ve been thinking about it for awhile. I just…" I sigh and shake my head.

Derek nuzzles his face against my shoulder and says, "You just what?" He looks into my eyes and his fingers play with the hem of my t-shirt at my waist.

"I just want Jake and Em to have what I didn't," I say as I turn sideways to face my body to Derek's.

His arm wraps tightly around me, and he pulls me close to him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him on top of me as I turn over on my back. "They already do have what you didn't, Meredith," he says softly. I smile at him as he positions himself on top of me, and I wrap my legs around him again.

"I want them to have more," I say. I smile as a huge grin breaks across his face.

"You're sure?" he asks. His eyes begin to twinkle as he looks down at me.

I nod my head and smile. I run my finger along his jaw bone, and he turns his face to kiss my hand. "Yeah, I am. What do you think?" I ask.

He leans his face down to me and kisses me softly. "I want you to be happy, Meredith. That's all I've wanted since the day we got married.," he says as tears start to form in his eyes.

I sigh and say, "You said two was all you could handle." I wrap my legs tighter around his.

"I lied," he says with a small laugh. I giggle and say, "I knew it."

My smile fades as Derek takes my hand in his and entwines our fingers together. He leans forward and kisses me softly. His tongue brushes against my bottom lip, and I open my mouth for him. The kiss slowly grows into something passionate and fierce as Derek's hand raises my t-shirt up and he rubs my breast with his thumb. I raise my arms above my head and allow him to take my shirt off. He does the same to his, and then reclaims his spot on top of me. My breathing becomes ragged as Derek's hands begin to roam down my breasts and stomach while his lips assault my neck and chest. "God, I love you," I say breathlessly as Derek lifts his head to kiss my lips.

He smiles at me and says, "I love you, too."

**HAPPY GREY'S DAY TOMORROW!**


	12. Daddy's Home

**Thank you so much for all the kind reviews. A few kind words always go a long way for motivation!**

The alarm clock starts beeping loudly on the nightstand, and I let out a tired breath as I pry my eyes open and reach over to turn the clock off. I hide my face in my pillow and close my eyes again. I hear Jacob running down the hallway toward my bedroom, and I wait for him to throw my door open.

"Mommy!" he shouts as he opens my door and runs to my bed. I roll over and smile as I look at him standing there dressed in blue jeans and a black turtleneck sweater with his hair slicked back with water.

"Jake, what are you doing? It's six in the morning, big guy," I mumble as I extend my arms out to him.

He jumps onto the bed next to me and lays on his side with his head propped up with his hand. He smiles widely at me and says, "Daddy's coming home today!"

I can't help but giggle at his enthusiasm as I turn on my side and wrap my arm around his waist. "He is coming home today, Jake. But not until eleven. We've still got five hours until his plane lands," I explain.

Jacob nods and says, "I know, Mommy. But we can't be late. Daddy will be scared all alone in the airport." He reaches his hand out and places it on my cheek. I smile as he uses his finger to trace my cheekbone, and then he squeezes my nose as he shouts, "Honk!".

"Ow, Jacob!" I tease as I hold my nose in my hands. "Oh no, I think you broke it," I say as I lay on my back and moan as I pretend to be in severe pain.

Jacob giggles and climbs on top of me. "Let me see, Mommy," he insists as he brushes my hands away with his. He bends over and gets his face two inches from mine as he stares intently at my nose.

I smile and grab him around the waist and flip his body over so he's now pinned underneath me. I hold his arms over his head with one of my hands, and use my free hand to tickle his stomach unmercifully.

Jacob squirms underneath me as he laughs loudly. "Mommy! Stop! Stop it!" he shouts through his squeals of laughter.

I stop tickling him and sit up on my knees next to him. "I win," I say as I wiggle my eyebrows at him.

Jacob makes an angry face at me and runs his hand across his hair. "Mommy! Look what you did to my hair!" he says grumpily as he points his finger to his hair which now resembles a porcupine.

I try not to laugh so I cover my mouth with my hand. "Sorry, Jake," I say softly with a big smile on my face.

"Mommy, I put jelly on my hair so I could look handsome like Daddy. And now it's messed up," he grumbles.

"Gel, Jake. Not jelly," I correct him as I reach forward and try to smooth his hair back down for him.

"Yeah, gel. I couldn't find the reindeer stuff. It works better," Jacob says as he shrugs his shoulders.

"You mean mousse?" I ask. Jacob nods. "Daddy took it with him on his trip. He doesn't like when his hair sticks up like a porcupine, either," I explain. I climb off of the bed and walk to the closet. I pull a pair of blue jeans and a sweater out and hang them over my arm.

"Jake, I have to take a super quick shower. Can you go play in your room with Panda for me just for a few minutes?" I ask as I pull some clean undergarments from my dresser.

Jacob jumps off my bed and runs out the door as he shouts, "Ok, Mommy! Hurry up!"

I roll my eyes and walk into the bathroom. I quickly shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, dry and fix my hair, and put on a little eye makeup all in record time.

I toss my towel into the hamper as I leave the bathroom. I walk out of my bedroom and down the hall to Emma's room. I quietly open the door a crack and peek in. I smile when I see her still sleeping, clutching onto what is now her favorite stuffed puppy, with her thumb hanging out of the side of her mouth. I shut her door and walk to Jacob's room. He grins at me as I walk in and sit on the floor next to him. "What are you building?" I ask as I pick up a big blue building block and hand it to him.

He smiles at me and takes the block out of my hand. "An airport," he says as he snaps the block onto the top of his creation. "See? This is the runway," he says while pointing to a long line of blocks on the floor, "and this is the tower where the people yell on their radios at the pilots." He grabs a toy airplane from beside him and moves it speedily along the runway before holding it in the air above my head. He smiles as he plops the plane down on my hair.

"Uh, Jake? Why is there an airplane on my head?" I ask sarcastically.

Jacob grins at me and shrugs his shoulders. "The pilot needed a potty break," he replies. He giggles as he takes the plane off of my head and flies it back down to the runway.

"Are you excited Daddy is coming home today?" I ask him as Panda sneaks over to me and climbs onto my lap. He lays his head down on my leg as I pet his back.

Jacob grins widely at me and replies, "Yep. Daddy always brings me presents when we pick him up at the airport."

I giggle and roll my eyes as I say, "Yeah, he does. Do you want to get there early and watch the planes take off?" I pick Panda up from my lap and set him down on the floor, and I stand up.

Jacob jumps up and raises his hands above his head and says, "Yes!"

I motion with my finger to the mess he's made with his blocks and say, "You have to clean this mess up while I get breakfast ready. And we'll leave in a little bit, ok?"

Jacob drops to his knees and begins taking his airport apart, and he tosses the blocks into their bin.

I walk out of his bedroom and I can hear Emma chattering away in her crib. I open her bedroom door and smile as she looks over the side of her crib at me. "Hey pretty girl," I say as I walk over to her and lift her from the crib.

She clutches onto her puppy and says, "Paa."

"Yes, Panda," I tell her as I walk to her closet and open the door. "What do you want to wear for Daddy today, Em?" I rifle through her embarrassingly enormous wardrobe and pick out Derek's favorite denim overalls and hold them out for Emma to inspect. "Daddy thinks you look so cute in these," I tell her as I grab a lavender turtleneck off the rack.

I lay Emma down on the changing table and take her pajamas off. I quickly change her diaper and get her dressed while she chews on the ear of her stuffed puppy. She squirms as I button up the legs on her overalls, and I pick her up after I finally manage to snap the last one. "Thanks for the help there, Em," I say sarcastically as I carry her out of her bedroom and head down to the kitchen.

I set Emma in her highchair and give her a bottle of formula out of the refrigerator. She greedily yanks it from my hands and shoves it in her mouth. She holds her puppy next to her face and cuddles it with her cheek while she sucks hungrily on her bottle. I grab the Cheerios out of the pantry and pour a small pile of them in front of Emma. I giggle as she takes the bottle out of her mouth and bends forward to eat her cereal off her tray without using her hands. "Em, you're not a puppy," I say. She lifts her head and smiles at me, and I laugh because Cheerios are sticking to her cheeks. I grin as I brush the cereal off of her face and mutter, "You're such a mess."

I make Jacob an Eggo waffle and holler for him to come eat. He rushes through the kitchen door and leaps up onto his chair.

I set his breakfast in front of him, and he quickly begins shoveling it in his mouth.

"Slow down, Jake. We still have a while before we're going to leave," I tell him as I slice a banana and put it on Emma's tray.

I make myself a bowl of cereal, and sit between the two of them at the table. My heart drops as a wave of loneliness washes over me, and I suddenly realize how much I'm missing Derek having breakfast with us this morning.

* * *

"Mommy, look!" Jacob shouts as he perches himself on his knees in front of the window overlooking the runway. I push Emma's stroller over to the window next to Jacob and she leans forward to press her fingers against the glass.

"Is that Daddy's plane?" Jacob asks as we watch an airplane make it's descent and land on the runway in front of us.

I shake my head and say, "No. Daddy's plane doesn't land for twenty more minutes." I sit down on a chair next to the kids and sigh anxiously to myself. Jacob rests his forehead against the window and quietly watches five more planes land before its finally time for Derek's flight to arrive. I lift Emma out of her stroller when she starts rubbing her eyes with her fist and crying tiredly. She lays her head down on my shoulder and sticks her thumb in her mouth. "Em, Daddy's going to be here in just a minute. You can't go to sleep yet," I say softly against her face as she nuzzles it into my neck.

I look up and see Derek across the semi-crowded waiting area walking towards us. "Jake, there's Daddy," I say as I stand up with Emma.

"Daddy!" Jacob shouts as he stands up and runs full speed to Derek.

Derek drops his carryon bag to the floor before lifting Jacob into a big bear hug, and he holds him tightly against his chest. "Hey Jake," Derek says as he presses his mouth to Jacob's forehead.

I smile as I walk up to Derek. He sets Jacob down on the ground next to him, and then pulls me against him. His arms wrap around my back and he kisses Emma on the cheek. "Hey girls," he says softly. Emma lifts her head and puts her hand on Derek's face as he kisses her again. She shouts, "DaDa!" loudly and runs her hand across his cheek. She smiles and returns her face to my neck.

Derek kisses me softly as he runs his hands up and down my back. Jacob wraps his arms and legs around Derek's shin and looks up as we kiss again.

"Daddy! Where's my present!" Jacob says loudly. Derek pulls his face away from mine and laughs. "It's in my bag, Jake," Derek says as he releases me from his embrace. He bends down on his knee and opens his bag. He pulls out a big toy airplane for Jacob, and a soft brown-haired baby doll for Emma.

Jacob grabs the airplane and says, "Oh wow, Daddy! Thank you!" He zooms the plane through the air as he runs in a circle around Derek and me.

Derek runs his hand down Emma's back and she lifts her sleepy head to look at him. "Daddy got you a baby," Derek says softly as he holds the doll in front of Emma. She grabs it from him and sticks it's nose into her mouth. She scrunches up her forehead and looks at the doll grumpily as she takes it out of her mouth. She yells, "Paa!" and tosses the doll onto the ground. Her face returns to my neck as she shoves her thumb into her mouth.

I giggle and say, "She has a thing for her stuffed puppy now."

Derek smirks and says, "Hmpfff…" as he bends over and picks the doll up. He sticks it back into his bag and holds his hand out to Jacob. "Ready to go home?" he asks as Jacob grabs his hand.

Jacob grins and says, "Yeah. Can we go fishing today?"

Derek smiles and says, "Sure, Jake."

* * *

"Ok, you two boys are crazy, you realize this, right?" I ask sarcastically as I watch Derek put his raincoat on.

Derek grins mischievously at me and replies, "It's just a little rain. Besides, the fish are already wet. We might as well be too. Right, Jake?" He kneels down and helps Jacob shove his feet into his rain boots.

Jacob giggles and says, "Right, Daddy." They both stand up, and I laugh at their identically giddy expressions.

"Fine. Have fun, boys," I say as I shake my head. I bend over and kiss Jacob quickly on the lips, and then I grab Derek's coat and pull him close to me. He leans forward and whispers, "You look so damn beautiful," in my ear, and then he kisses me softly.

I can feel myself blushing as I pull out of his arms and open the door for them.

* * *

"Come on, Emma," I say as I sit cross-legged on the floor across the room from her. She rocks unsteadily on her feet as she clutches onto the couch. She grins widely at me, and takes several unassisted steps toward me. She drops to her knees and quickly crawls the remaining distance between us. I giggle as she grabs onto my shirt and pulls herself up in front of me. "What happened to walking, Em?" I ask her as she drops herself back down onto her knees and scoots away.

She crawls over to the toy box and takes Jacob's new toy airplane out and starts chewing on the wing.

"Your brother's going to get you for that, Emma," I warn her. She grins mischievously at me and plops herself down onto the carpet and continues munching on Jake's new toy.

I look out the window as I hear Jacob and Derek walking up the front porch. I groan when I see how muddy they both are. I jump off of the couch and hurry over to the foyer.

"You are not coming inside like that," I tell them as I open the front door. I laugh at Jacob when he looks down at his body and realizes he's completely covered in mud.

He grins sheepishly at me and says, "Sorry, Mommy. We accidentally fell in the mud."

"Both of you?" I ask sarcastically as I glance at Derek's equally muddy appearance.

They both nod at me, and I motion to their clothes with my finger. "Strip your clothes off before you come in this house. And you might want to think about bathing. You've got mud in your hair," I say as I smirk at Derek.

Jacob takes his coat off and mutters to Derek as I turn and walk in the house, "Mommy's so bossy."

I hear Derek chuckle and say, "I know. But we love her anyway."

* * *

I smile as Derek walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch. He lays down across the couch on his stomach, and rests his head on my lap. I run my fingers through his wet hair and say, "Comfortable?"

He rolls over onto his back and smiles up at me. "Very," he says softly.

I roll my eyes at him and say, "I hope you boys didn't use all the soap getting all that mud off of yourselves. And you better not have clogged the drain, either."

Derek grins at me, and then turns his head to look over at the kids as they play across the room. His grin disappears when he sees Jacob playing with Emma's new baby doll, and Emma chewing on Jacob's new toy airplane.

"Why is Jake playing with a doll?" he asks softly as his scrunches his head up in disapproval.

I giggle and say, "Well, apparently, Emma got baby drool all over his new airplane. And that makes it completely 'unsanitary' according to your son. So he decided to play with her new doll instead. What's the big deal?" I shrug my shoulders as I watch Jacob shove one of Emma's bottles into the doll's mouth.

Derek shakes his head and mutters, "Boys don't play with dolls. It turns them in to wimps who get the crap beat out of them at school."

I twirl a piece of his hair in my finger as I say, "Are you speaking from experience, baby?"

Derek glares playfully at me and says, "I never played with dolls." He returns his gaze to Jacob and moans as he watches him try to put a diaper on the now naked baby doll.

"Its just a doll, Derek. Get a grip. Besides, your mom told me all about how you used to play dollies with your sisters," I tease.

Derek nods his head and says sarcastically, "Fine. But when he comes home from preschool with a black eye and fat lip, you'll know why."

I shake my head and say, "Whatever, Derek. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he's just playing 'Daddy'?" I smirk at him as his expression grows a little softer. "He might be a mama's boy, Derek, but he worships the ground you walk on. Think about it."

Derek smiles at me and rolls over onto his side. We both laugh as Panda runs over to Emma and licks her on the nose, and she screams angrily, "Paa!"

I push Derek's head off of my lap and say, "I need to cook something for dinner." He sits up and gives me a funny look.

"Shut up. I can cook spaghetti without burning the house down, so wipe that look off of your face," I say playfully as I stand up and walk toward the kitchen.

* * *

I set everyone's plates of food onto the table, and walk back into the living room. I smile widely as I see Jacob sitting in Derek's lap, holding the baby doll.

"Like this?" Jacob asks as he pats the baby on the back to burp it.

"Not so hard, Jake. Babies are fragile. Here, like this," Derek says as he puts his hand on top of Jacob's and shows him just how hard to pat it on the back. I clear my throat and say, "Dinner's ready."

Derek grins sheepishly at me as Jacob jumps off of his lap and runs into the kitchen.

"You just couldn't resist playing with dollies again, could you, baby?" I tease as Derek walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist.

He smirks at me and presses his lips firmly against mine. My heart begins to race as he kisses me repeatedly, moving the kiss from my lips down to my neck, reminding me just how much I've missed him these past five days.

"Mmmm, Derek. Dinner," I whisper breathlessly before he presses his lips softly against mine.

"Fine," he says softly. "But you're all mine tonight after the kids are asleep." He kisses me softly on the cheek and winks as he walks into the kitchen.

I take a deep breath and exhale as I try to regain my composure. I look at my watch and frown when I see its still two hours before the kids' bedtime.

* * *

"Jacob, I mean it. We've already read five books. No more. It's bedtime," I say sternly as I sit up on his bed and watch him pout as he lays on top of his covers.

Derek grins wickedly at me from the other side of Jacob and says, "Have you got something better to do, Sweetheart?"

I shoot him a dirty look and try not to smile. "I'm going to take a shower. You boys can do whatever you want," I say as I bend over and kiss Jacob on the forehead. "Good night, Jake," I say softly. I stand up straight and wink at Derek. "Don't take all night. He's been up since six with no nap today, Derek." I walk out of Jacob's bedroom and down the hall to my room. I grab a black silk camisole and matching pair of panties from my drawer and go into the bathroom. I quickly take a hot shower, dry my body and hair, and get dressed.

I smile as I open the bathroom door and see the bedroom filled with candlelight. Derek sucks in a breath as he lays on top of the bed and looks hungrily at me. I walk over to the bed and climb on top of him. My legs straddle his waist as he sits against the headboard. I run my fingers through his hair and rest my hands on the back of his neck. "I missed you," I say softly before pressing my lips onto his.

He moans as he moves his hands up my back and licks my bottom lip with his warm wet tongue. "I missed you, too," Derek whispers before deepening the kiss.

I quickly become a panting mess as Derek's hands roam my back and thighs. "I love you so much," I say breathlessly as Derek kisses a hot wet trail along my collarbone.

My hands venture down his stomach and to his boxers. Derek groans with pleasure before saying softly, "Mmmm…I love you, too, Sweetheart."

**Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated!**


	13. Playdoh

**Thank you so much for all your reviews. Seriously, I would have given up on this story a long time ago if it wasn't for those of you who take the time to leave a kind comment. Enjoy!!**

I open my eyes when I hear Jacob crying in his bedroom, and glance across Derek's sleeping body in the dark at the alarm clock. I groan when I see that it's only two a.m. I sit up and slide out of bed as I hear Jacob's cries becoming louder down the hall. I walk quickly to his room and open the door, flipping the light switch on as I enter.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" I croak out, with my voice still full of sleep. I bend down on the carpet next to him and smooth his messy hair from his forehead as he stands in front of me crying.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," he says through a string of sniffles.

"For what?" I ask as I wipe my hands across his cheeks to wipe his tears off.

Jacob rubs his fists over his eyes and says, "I had an accident."

I look over at his bed and notice his sheets are wet. "It's ok, Jake. You didn't mean to," I tell him with a small smile. "Don't cry, big guy. It happens to Daddy sometimes, too," I say with a wink before I walk over to his dresser and pull out some clean underwear and pajamas for him. He smiles at me as I bend down in front of him again and help him take his wet clothes off. He grabs his clean clothes off of the floor and quickly begins to dress himself. I stand up and pick Panda up off of Jacob's pillow and set him on the floor so I can take the wet sheets of the bed. I toss the dirty linens and clothes by the door and grab a clean set of sheets from his closet. Jacob watches me in tired silence as I pull the new sheets on his bed and grab a clean blanket out of the closet.

"There. All done," I say softly as I smooth the blanket on his bed.

Jacob smiles at me and jumps into his bed. "Thanks, Mommy," he says quietly. He reaches his arms out and I sit on the edge of his bed to receive my reward. He hugs my neck tight and then puckers his lips up as he relinquishes his grip and pulls slightly away from me.

I can't help but smile at how sweet he looks as he waits for me to kiss him. I peck his lips quickly with mine and then brush the hair off of his freckled face. "Go back to sleep, ok? Sweet dreams, Jake," I say softly before kissing him gently on the forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Mommy," he says as he rolls over on his side and closes his eyes.

I pick a sleeping Panda off the floor and lay him on the bed next to Jacob. I grab the dirty laundry off of the floor and turn the light out as I leave Jacob's bedroom. I walk down the stairs to the laundry room and throw the pile into the washing machine. I sigh tiredly as I dump some soap in and start the machine. I wonder to myself if I'm the only person in Seattle lucky enough to be washing laundry at two-thirty in the morning.

I walk sleepily up the stairs to my bedroom and carefully slide back into the bed next to Derek. I roll my eyes when I notice he has the entire comforter wrapped around him. I grab a corner of the blanket and tug at it until it comes free from his body. I giggle to myself when he doesn't even stir as I pull the blanket completely off of him. I figure he'll come cuddle with me when he gets cold in a few minutes, so I wrap myself up and try to go back to sleep. I lay there for what feels like forever before I finally drift back to sleep.

I groan when I hear Emma crying from her nursery, and I turn to look at Derek hoping he will get up with her. I glare at him as he continues sleeping, oblivious to the rest of the world. I sit up and look at the clock again. I mutter obscenities under my breath when I notice it's now only four fifteen a.m. I toss the comforter over Derek's presumably cold body when I accept the fact that I'm probably not going to be getting any more sleep tonight. I grumpily drag my tired body out of bed again and walk to Emma's room.

"What's wrong, Em?" I say as I flip her light switch on and walk over to her crib. I frown when I notice that her tear streaked face is red from crying as I pick her up. "How long have you been crying, Sweetie?" I ask guiltily as I lay her down on the changing table.

She sticks her thumb in her mouth and studies my face as I remove her soaked pajamas. "Holy Pooh Bears," I mumble sarcastically as I take her diaper off. "This thing weighs fifty pounds, Em. What did Daddy give you and your brother to drink before bed last night, a keg of apple juice?" The diaper lands with a loud thud as I drop it into the trash can.

Emma giggles at me as I shove a dry diaper on her. I pick her up and carry her over to the dresser. I grab a fresh pair of yellow footie pajamas out of the drawer and sit down on the floor with Emma. She begins to whisper babble at me as I lay her down between my legs and shove her feet into her pajamas.

I smile at her and whisper back, "I know. Daddy should be the one in here changing you since he obviously let you drink twenty bottles of juice before bed."

Emma giggles at me as I run my fingers up her bare stomach. I grab her hand and shove it into the sleeve of her pajamas. I do the same with her other hand and quickly zip up the front before she can roll over and escape. I pick Emma up and stand her in front of me.

She reaches her hands out and rests them on my cheeks. I place my hands on her back to help steady her as she bounces up and down in front of me.

I scrunch my forehead up at her as I watch her bouncing, and say, "Hmm…looks like Daddy's been showing you his moves again. We're definitely going to have to sign you up for dance class as soon as possible. We don't want the other babies in daycare making fun of you."

Emma smiles and then yawns and rubs her fists over her tired eyes. I pick her up and hold her gently against my chest. "Want to go back to sleep, Em?" I ask as I stand up. I walk over to the crib and frown when I remember that I didn't change her wet sheets. I sigh and carry her out of her bedroom and down the hall to mine. I quietly lay her down in the middle of the bed, and slide in next to her. "Shhh…" I say quietly when she begins to chant loudly, "DaDaDaDa!" She rolls over and crawls next to Derek's back. She pulls herself up onto her knees as she inspects the side of his face as he lays sleeping facing away from her. I can see her dark blue eyes twinkle with mischief as a streak of moonlight shines on her face while she kneels against Derek's body. Her fingers tug at his hair as she bends her face down and gives his ear a slobbery kiss.

"Yeah, good luck waking him up, Em," I say sarcastically as I watch her begin to get agitated when Derek doesn't roll over. She frowns as she pats Derek's face repeatedly with her tiny hand, and then bends forward and licks his shoulder.

I giggle and grab her around the waist and lay her back down on the bed next to me. She rolls on her side and faces me as I yank the blanket off of Derek. I wrap my arm around her tiny body after I tuck us in. "Night, baby girl," I say quietly before kissing her softly on the forehead. I smile when she shoves her thumb in her mouth and closes her eyes. Emma's warm breath blows against my neck as she cuddles in closer to me. I close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep as Emma begins to snore quietly against my chest.

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me," I mumble as I feel Jacob poking my arm with his finger. I pry my eyes open and squint through the sunlight that is now streaming through the open curtains. "Morning, Jake," I say softly as he smiles widely at me waiting for me to wake up.

"Hi, Mommy," he says quietly. He holds his finger over his mouth and points to Derek with his other hand. I turn my face and look at Derek, and then roll my eyes when I see him sleeping with his pillow over his head as he lays sprawled out on his stomach.

Emma begins to stir next to me, and she sits up and crawls on top of my body.

I sigh tiredly and grab Emma around the waist as she straddles my stomach with her chubby little legs. "I guess I'm getting up now," I mutter as I look back at Derek with an envious glare as he remains sound asleep.

Emma bends forward and gives me a big drooling kiss on my chin as I sit up. Jacob smiles at me and then runs out of the bedroom. I hear his feet bounding down the stairs with the sound of Panda's paws following right behind him. "Come on, Em," I say as I climb out of bed. I carry her down the stairs to the kitchen and set her in her highchair.

She holds her hands out to me and yells, "BahBah!"

I smile and grab a bottle out of the refrigerator and walk over and hand it to her. She shoves it into her mouth and begins hungrily drinking it. I softly brush the sleep out of the corners of her eyes with my thumb. Emma smiles at me while she tries to continue drinking, and milk runs out of the sides of her mouth and down her chin. I wipe the milk off with my fingers and walk over to the cupboard.

"Jake!" I yell as I start the coffeemaker. I rummage through the pantry to look for Emma's favorite cereal. I find the Cheerios and pour a small amount in a plastic bowl and set it in front of Emma.

Jacob runs into the kitchen and jumps up onto his chair at the table. "What do you want for breakfast, Jacob?" I ask him.

He smiles and points to Emma's bowl of cereal. "Cheerios with bananas," he says.

I quickly make him his breakfast and set it in front of him. He smiles at me and then groans as he watches Emma dump her cereal all over the tray in front of her. "Why is she always so messy?" he asks as he shakes his head. He shoves a big bite of cereal into his mouth and then spits it out all over the table when he starts laughing at Emma as she throws a handful of cereal at him.

Emma giggles as she bounces up and down in her highchair and picks up another handful of Cheerios.

"Oh, no you don't, Em," I say as I grab her fist and pry the cereal out of her fingers. "No food fights in the house." I clean all the cereal off of her tray and the table and throw it into the trash. I slice up a banana and put a few pieces in front of Emma. She scrunches up her forehead and then bats her big blue eyes at me as her bottom lip puckers out into a pout. "Sorry, cutie. That face only works on Daddy, and he's being lazy this morning. Eat your banana," I tell her as I stand up and walk back over to the counter. I fix myself a bowl of cereal and cup of coffee and sit down between the kids at the table.

We all look up as Derek walks into the kitchen.

I smile and tease, "Ah, if it isn't Sleeping Beauty." Derek laughs and walks over and kisses me quickly on the lips.

"Morning," he says before kissing me again. I shake my head at him as he walks to the counter and pours himself a cup of coffee. "So what time did you get home last night? I didn't even hear you come to bed," he says as he pours a bowl of cereal and returns to the table.

I roll my eyes and say, "I got home at nine o'clock and everyone was already passed out."

Derek smiles at me and says, "You should have woken me up. I missed you yesterday." He winks at me and takes a big bite of cereal. He reaches over and brushes the hair off of Emma's forehead. She picks up a piece of banana and holds it out to him. Derek laughs and opens his mouth wide and Emma shoves her whole hand inside. She pulls her hand out of his mouth and smiles proudly at Derek as he chews the banana.

Jacob jumps out of his chair and climbs onto Derek's lap. "Daddy," he says softly. "Mommy told me you wet the bed sometimes. Don't be embarrassed." He pats Derek on the shoulder and gives him a kiss on the cheek before jumping off his lap and running out of the kitchen.

I choke on my coffee as I watch Jacob run away. I shrug my shoulders and say innocently, "What?" as Derek glares playfully at me.

"You told him I wet the bed?" he asks as he shakes his head at me. He shoves a large bite of cereal into his mouth and smirks at me.

"What's the big deal? I was just trying to get him to stop crying," I explain as I take another sip of coffee and try not to smile. "He had an accident and was embarrassed about it. Which reminds me, what the hell did you give these kids to drink before bed last night? They both soaked through their pj's."

Derek laughs and says sarcastically, "First off, the big deal is that now Jacob is going to go tell all his preschool friends that his Daddy wets the bed. Thanks for that, Mer. And second, they were thirsty before bed so I gave them both a gallon of water before I tucked them in. I thought they could hold their liquids, but apparently I was wrong." He winks at me and takes another bite of cereal.

Emma starts shouting and tosses her empty bottle onto the table. I reach over and unbuckle her and lift her out of her highchair. She takes a few steps as I set her down onto the floor, and then drops to her knees and quickly crawls into the living room to find Jacob.

I stand up and pile Jacob's dirty bowl on top of mine and carry them to the sink. I walk back to the table and sit down in Derek's lap. My fingers tangle in the back of his hair and I give him a long soft lingering kiss. "So, you seem really tired lately. Everything ok, baby?" I ask with a smirk on my face.

Derek smiles as he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me. "Mmhmm…everything is just fine," he says softly as he presses his face into my neck.

I giggle and say, "Are you sure you can handle this?" I grin at him as he lifts his face to look at me.

"Are you suggesting that I can't?" he asks as I turn my body and straddle his waist with my legs.

"I don't know, can you?" I say as I lean forward and nibble his earlobe. I run my tongue along his bottom lip before kissing him tenderly.

He pulls my body tight against his and whispers, "Do I need to prove it to you?" He buries his face in my neck again and kisses a hot trail against my skin as he moves the kiss up to my lips.

"Maybe," I whisper back. "I was just thinking all the sex lately was taking it's toll on you. We can slow down with the baby making if you need to." I grin wickedly at him as he narrows his eyes playfully at me.

"You don't think I can keep up?" he asks incredulously.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I'm not the one who needed twelve hours of sleep last night."

Derek huffs and rolls his eyes. "I was just conserving energy for tonight," says as he smiles and winks at me.

"Tonight, huh?" I tease. "Who says I'm going to give you any tonight?"

Derek pulls me tight against him and kisses me hard on the mouth. "How about you give me some right now?" he asks as his hands run down my back and snake under my t-shirt.

I moan as he moves his hands to my stomach and up to my breasts.

"Mmm…Derek. Kids in the next room," I say as my pulse begins to speed up.

Derek snickers against my skin as he kisses my neck. "You're the one who sat on my lap," he teases as he pinches my nipples between his fingers.

I groan and push myself off of his lap and mutter, "No fair. You play dirty." I smile as I walk to the other side of the kitchen and start rinsing the dishes.

Derek picks up his bowl and walks to the sink and drops it in. He lifts the bottom of my shirt and wraps his arms around my stomach, and he presses his body against mine as he resumes kissing my neck. His hands roam back to my bare breasts and I moan before turning around to look at him. "Come on, baby," he says into my ear. "Quickie in the laundry room. The kids are fine for a few minutes. I want you."

I wrap my arms around his neck as he kisses me fiercely. I walk backwards toward the laundry room, and then I wrap my legs around his waist as he picks me up and carries me the rest of the way. He sets me down on top of the washing machine and locks the door behind him. I moan as he lifts my shirt over my head and runs his tongue along my breasts. I sigh and mutter, "Damn it!" when we hear Emma crying in the living room. I lean my forehead against his and say, "You definitely play dirty."

He smiles at me and lifts me off of the washing machine. I grab my t-shirt off of the floor and put it back on. "Want to try again at naptime?" I ask as I run my hand against his crotch.

Derek runs his hand through his hair and exhales loudly. "Now who's playing dirty?" he asks as he grabs my hand and lifts it off of his erection. I laugh and wiggle my eyebrows at him as I open the door and walk out of the laundry room.

* * *

"Jake, if you're coming with me hurry up and put your shoes on," I say as I shove my arms into the sleeves of my sweatshirt.

"I'm coming, Mommy!" Jacob shouts as he bounds down the stairs. He picks his shoes up and sticks them on his feet quickly. He fastens the Velcro and then takes his jacket off of the coat rack. He puts it on and zips it up and says, "Ready!"

I grab my purse and walk back into the living room. "Be back before lunch," I say as I bend down and kiss Derek good-bye.

"Have fun at the store," Derek teases as he watches me walk to the door. I glare playfully at him as I leave the house. Jacob runs ahead of me and opens the car door for me.

"Thanks, Jake," I say as I sit down in the driver's seat.

Jacob smiles at me and says, "You're welcome, Mommy. Daddy is teaching me how to be a gentleman cuz that's what the ladies like." He winks at me and then wiggles his eyebrows just like Derek does.

I giggle and mutter "Oh jeeze," and roll my eyes as he pushes my door closed for me.

* * *

"Jake, stop asking for every single thing you see. If it's not on my list, you're not getting it," I say firmly as I push the cart down the cereal aisle.

Jacob folds his arms in front of his chest and huffs. "Daddy always buys me toys when we come here," he mutters.

I smile and say, "Yeah, well, Daddy's a sucker. He needs to learn to be mean like Mommy." I pick up a box of Muesli and toss it into the cart.

Jacob giggles at me and says, "You're not mean, Mommy! You're just being a cheapskate."

I laugh and say, "What did you call me?"

Jacob giggles and places his hand on his forehead as he shakes his head at me. "Mommy, you're a cheapskate," he says through his laughter.

I laugh again and say, "What does that mean, Jacob?"

Jacob makes a serious face at me and says, "It means you don't want to buy your good little boy anything even though you have five hundred million dollars." He folds his arms across his chest again and pouts.

I giggle and shake my head as I keep pushing the cart down the aisle. "Keep on pouting, Jake. I'm immune to your pouty face." I avoid making eye contact because I know I'll cave if he bats his big blue eyes at me.

* * *

"Can we eat lunch outside?" Jacob asks as Derek stacks another grilled cheese sandwich on the pile next to the stove.

Derek says, "Sure, Jacob. Why don't you grab the chips out of the cupboard and take them out to the picnic table."

I grab some plates out of the cupboard and some bottles of water out of the refrigerator and follow Jacob outside.

Derek walks out a few minutes later carrying the plate of sandwiches in one arm and Emma in the other. "Thanks for the help, Sweetheart," he teases as he sets the plate onto the table. I shrug my shoulders as he sits down with Emma on his lap and plops a sandwich onto everyone's plate.

"Jake, come eat," I yell as he runs through the yard after Panda.

He stops running and turns to look at me. "What?" he yells back at me.

I shake my head and yell, "Food, Jake. Come eat."

He smiles and runs over to the table and scoots himself next to my leg. He picks up his sandwich and takes an enormous bite.

"In a hurry, Jake?" I ask as I watch him chew with his cheeks bulging out.

He nods his head as he finishes chewing and then says, "Yep. I want to play with Panda before naptime." He shoves another big bite into his mouth.

Derek smirks at me and takes a huge bite of his sandwich.

I laugh and say, "What's your hurry?" as he shoves some chips into his mouth.

He wiggles his eyebrows at me and says through a wicked smile, "I'm ready for naptime."

I roll my eyes playfully and say, "Me too. I'm tired. I was up all night with the kids." Derek's smile disappears and he starts to pout.

* * *

I lay Emma down in her crib and pull her blanket over her body. She sticks her thumb in her mouth and closes her eyes. I shut the door after I leave her bedroom. I grin when I notice Derek shutting Jacob's door at the same time as I close Emma's. "What?" I say innocently as I walk down the hall next to him. He smiles at me and scans my body with his eyes naughtily.

Derek grabs me around the waist and then presses me up against the wall outside our bedroom door. He kisses me firmly and runs his hands down my sides as his body holds me pressed against the wall. His lips move to my neck and I tangle my arms around his shoulders. I moan and say, "Bed, Derek. Jacob will be scarred for life if he comes out of his bedroom and catches us having sex in the hallway."

Derek presses his lips against mine and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me into the bedroom. He lays me down on the bed and then walks over and locks the door. He strips off his shirt and jeans before climbing on top of me as he returns to the bed. He lifts my shirt up and pulls it off of me in one quick movement before kissing me gently on the lips. I moan as his mouth travels to my neck and down to my breasts. He reaches behind me and unhooks my bra, capturing a nipple in his mouth as he pulls my bra slowly off. My fingers run through the back of his hair as his kisses move onto my stomach. He grins at me as he unbuttons my jeans.

"I missed you last night," he says softly as he presses his lips onto my stomach.

I moan softly as I look down at him. "I missed you, too," I say with a slight smile. My breath hitches in my throat as he yanks my jeans down and begins kissing my inner thighs. "I missed you a lot," I whisper as I close my eyes and revel in the feel of his hot kisses against my skin.

* * *

"So why are we going to Lexie's again?" Derek asks as we buckle the kids into the car.

I narrow my eyes at him and say, "She invited us for game night, remember? This was your idea, so don't pretend you don't know why we're going."

Derek smiles sheepishly and says, "Right. It was kind of my idea, wasn't it?" We both shut the car doors and I glare at him as we look over the top of the car at each other.

"No, not kind of, Derek. Completely. I specifically remember you saying, 'Hey, Lex. We should all get together and play board games one night.'" I smirk and say, "Remember, Honey?"

He chuckles and says, "Sorry. I was hoping she would have forgotten by now."

I roll my eyes playfully and get into the car. "She doesn't forget anything. And now we're going to be stuck playing Scrabble all night long instead of baby making," I tease.

Derek groans and says, "Maybe I can fake a headache. It'll get us home sooner."

I smile and say, "No way. Then she'll just make us reschedule. Let's just get this over with tonight and never bring up the topic of board games in front of my sister again."

Jacob giggles and says, "Mommy, how do you and Daddy play baby making?"

Derek and I look at each other and laugh. I bite my bottom lip as Derek says, "Uh…with Play-Doh, Jake. You try to see who can make the best baby out of Play-Doh. Maybe you and Mommy can play tomorrow while I'm at work."

I giggle and roll my eyes at Derek when he winks at me.

* * *

"There's no way that's a word," Derek says as he flips open the dictionary. I kick him under the table and he says, "OW! What is your problem?"

I glare at him and shake my head. He won't take the hint that challenging Lexie's words are dragging the game on to the point of being ridiculous.

Lexie smiles and says, "Diurnal. Originating from the Latin "diurnis". Meaning 'occurs during the daytime'. It's definitely a word." She adds up her score and says "Triple word score plus my bonus for using all my tiles on one word…whoa, one-hundred and forty-four points!" She claps her hands excitedly, and Steve leans over and kisses her on the cheek. She turns her head and kisses him on the lips.

Derek narrows his eyes playfully at them and says, "You two are disgusting. You've been kissing all night long. Can you knock it off already?" He shakes his head as he watches them kissing.

I laugh and say, "Don't be jealous, Derek. Just because I don't make out with you each time you lay a word down doesn't mean I don't find you incredibly sexy." I wink at him and giggle as Lexie and Steve embarrassedly break their kiss off.

Emma crawls over to my leg and pulls herself up. She looks up at me and yawns as she stands holding on to my jeans. I pick her up and kiss her on the cheek. "What's wrong, Em? Getting tired?" I say as she lays her head down onto my shoulder. I feel her eyelashes flutter against my neck as she sticks her thumb into her mouth. "We should probably get going," I say as I rub circles on Emma's back.

Derek nods and says, "Yeah. She's ready for bed."

Lexie stands up and starts picking up the Scrabble pieces and putting them back into the box. "We should do this again," she says happily as she folds the board up and sticks it in the box.

I glare at Derek when he says, "Yeah, this was fun." He smiles sheepishly at me as I shake my head at him.

"Jake, get your coat, big guy," I say as I stand up with Emma. I walk over to the couch and sit down with Emma. I pick her coat up and shove her arms into it as she looks at me with tired red rimmed eyes.

"Can I spend the night with Aunt Lex?" Jacob asks as he stands up and runs over and grabs Lexie by the hand. He smiles widely at me and bats his big blue eyes. "Please, Mommy?"

I look at Lexie and she nods at me to signal that it's okay with her. "Are you going to be a good boy?" I ask as I stand up with Emma. I walk over to him and make him look up at me as I place my hand under his chin.

Jacob grips his hand tighter around Lexie's and says, "I'm always a good boy, Mommy!" He smiles at me again and I say, "Fine, Jacob. You can stay."

He runs to the couch and picks my coat up and hands it to me. "Bye, Mommy!" he shouts.

I giggle and shake my head as I hand Emma to Derek. I shove my arms into my coat and then bend down to kiss Jacob good-bye. "Be good, Jake. I'll see you in the morning, ok?" I kiss him quickly and then hug him tightly.

"Bye, Mommy," he says as I release him. "Have fun making babies with Daddy."

Derek bursts out laughing and I say quickly to Lexie, "Uh, with Play-Doh. We're making babies with Play-Doh. It's our new game. We're…Oh God…whatever. We're leaving now." I exhale through my embarrassment as I walk past a snickering Lexie. Steve grins wickedly at me as he watches me walk to the door.

"Have fun with the Play-Doh thing," Steve teases before he bends forward and kisses Emma on the cheek. "Night, Em," he says softly as she buries her face into Derek's chest.

"Thanks for having us over," Derek says. He bends down in front of Jacob and kisses him on the cheek. "Good-night, Jake," he says softly.

"Good-night, Daddy," Jacob says.

Derek stands up and smiles at Lexie. "Call us if he gets scared or anything. I'll come get him," he says.

Lexie nods and says, "I will. Good-night, guys."

Derek shuts the door behind us as we walk out of the apartment.

"Well, that wasn't embarrassing," I say sarcastically as we walk out to our car.

Derek laughs as he unlocks the car doors with the remote. He opens my door for me, and leans forward to kiss me softly on the mouth before I sit down.

I smile at him as he closes my door and walks to the other side of the car. I watch him as he carefully buckles Emma into her car seat. My heart melts as he kisses her on the forehead and then tucks her in with her pink blanket.

* * *

I take my clothes off and climb into the steaming shower. I exhale deeply as I let the hot water pour over my head. I feel Derek climb into the shower behind me and it makes me smile. "That was fast," I say as he wraps his arms around my stomach.

"Mmhmm…" Derek says as his lips find my shoulder. "She didn't wake up at all when I changed her. Poor baby was worn out." His mouth and tongue move slowly up my shoulder and onto my neck.

I moan and brace my hands against the wall in front of me as Derek's hands move up my stomach and onto my breasts. I tilt my head back and let the hot water spray onto my neck as Derek continues his assault of kisses on my skin. He runs one hand down my stomach and his finger finds its way between my legs.

"God…Derek…" I whimper as he begins slowly stroking my clit. I reach one hand behind my head and tangle my fingers into his wet hair.

Derek turns my body around to face him, and he runs his tongue along my bottom lip before kissing me gently as his finger returns to its previous position. I moan into his mouth as he kisses me, and his hands work me into a panting mess. I pull my face away from his and bury my nose into his neck. "I love you," I whisper between my moans as he brings me closer to my climax. I close my eyes as I lean my head back, and Derek's tongue and lips kiss their way down my neck and back up to my lips again.

Derek kisses his way along my jaw line, and then nibbles my earlobe and says, "I love you, too."

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!! Happy Grey's Day tomorrow!!**


	14. Discouraged

**Yay! An update! Thanks to everyone who has left such wonderful comments. A huge thanks to those of you that have taken the time to leave words of encouragement for me to get back on my writing horse. Sorry about the lack of updates lately. Writer's block sucks. That's all I'm saying.**

I feel Derek nuzzling his face into the back of my neck as he pulls the covers up over our shoulders. I press my hand on top of his as he runs it along my stomach.

"Morning," he whispers as he lifts his head just far enough to kiss me under my earlobe.

I sigh and mumble, "It's too early. Still dark out."

Derek scoots his body tighter against mine and says against my neck, "That's because it's storming out. It's seven o'clock, Sweetheart."

I groan and roll myself over and bury my face in Derek's chest as I wrap my arms around his waist. "It's still too early," I grumble.

"The kids are awake," he says softly as he runs his hands up and down my back. I pull the covers over my head and let out a loud sigh.

We both laugh when we hear Emma through the baby monitor yelling loudly at Jake as he says, "Emma, watch the awesome trick I taught Panda. Play dead Panda!" We hear Jake yell, "bang!" and then say grumpily, "Panda! You're supposed to lay on your back…and you have to stick your legs up in the air…and your tongue has to hang out of your mouth, remember? Like this...watch me, Panda." I giggle as I get a mental image of Jacob laying on the floor showing Panda how to perform this elaborate trick he has come up with.

"You better go get Emma out of her crib before Jake does," I say softly as I pull the covers off of my head and pry myself from his warm body.

Derek kisses me quickly on the lips and scoots off the side of the bed. "Are you going back to sleep?" he says teasingly as he walks to the door and opens it.

I smile and close my eyes as I say, "Maybe."

Two minutes later Jacob runs into my bedroom and uses his fingers to pry one of my eyes open. I giggle and open my eyes and look at him. "Morning, Jacob," I say as I extend my arms to him.

He smiles at me and hops up onto the bed and cuddles up against me under the covers. "Hi, Mommy. I taught Panda a new trick. Wanna come see it?" he says sweetly as he uses his hands to brush the hair off of my forehead.

I close my eyes again and sigh. "I don't know, Jake. I think I'm going to stay in bed all day and sleep. It's so nice and warm under the covers. You know I like to sleep when it's raining outside. Is that ok?" I tease.

Jacob huffs and climbs on top of my stomach and says, "Mommy, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? It's a really cool trick. You can even make the gun sound." He leans forward and begins kissing my cheek over and over until I finally open my eyes and smile at him.

"Fine, Jake. I'm getting up. Give me a minute and I'll meet you downstairs, ok?" I say softly before I run my hands up his ribs and tickle him.

Jacob laughs and rolls off of me and jumps off of the bed. "Ok, Mommy! I'll get Panda ready!" he shouts as he runs out of the bedroom.

I sigh and toss the warm covers off of me and climb out of bed. I grumpily hold my hand against my lower stomach as I feel the unwelcome monthly cramps taking over my body.

"So what's this cool trick you want me to watch?" I say as I walk into the living room and flop down on the couch.

Jacob smiles excitedly at me and pushes on Panda's back to make him stand still. "Ok. Watch this, Mommy," he says as he kneels in front of his puppy. "Play dead, Panda! Bang!" he yells as he points his finger towards Panda.

I try not to giggle as Panda barks and leaps up and licks Jacob on the nose.

Jake groans in aggravation and then turns to look at me. "It's a work in progress, Mommy," he explains as he shrugs his shoulders.

I laugh and reply, "It is, huh? Maybe you should start with some easy tricks first, Jake, like sitting and rolling over. He's just a little puppy, remember?"

Jacob frowns at me as he folds his arms across his chest and says, "Those tricks are booooooooring, Mommy. I want him to do something cool. And he already knows how to fetch and go pee outside, so that means he's smart."

I giggle and stand up and walk toward the kitchen. "Come on, big guy. Let's see what Daddy cooked for us this morning." I hold my hand out and Jacob runs to catch up to me. He grabs my hand and walks with me into the kitchen.

"Hey, Emma," I say as Jacob releases my hand and hops up into his chair at the table. I walk over to her highchair and place my hands on the sides of her face. I bend over and kiss her lips and then her forehead. She grabs a handful of my hair as she brings my face back to hers before giving me an extra sloppy kiss on my cheek.

I giggle as I pry her little fingers out of my hair. "I love you, too, Em," I say softly before kissing the top of her head and wiping the drool off of my face.

"Something smells good," I say as I turn my attention to Derek as he stands leaning against the counter watching me. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist as I press my body against his.

He smiles at me and leans forward to kiss me softly on the lips. "Emma wanted French toast this morning," he says as he turns to finish cooking.

"She told you that, did she?" I tease as I sit down at the table between the kids.

Derek smiles at me and replies sarcastically, "Yes. I happen to speak 'baby' fluently. She also told me that she was going to drool all over your face this morning, which she just did." He winks at me as I roll my eyes playfully.

Jacob jumps up from his seat and walks over to Derek. "I'll pass out the food, Daddy," he says as he extends his arms and waits for Derek to put a plate in his hands.

Derek quickly slices up a piece of French toast into extremely tiny pieces and drizzles way too much syrup all over it. He gives it to Jake, who walks proudly over to his little sister. "Here ya go, Em," he says as he drops the plate onto her highchair tray. "Try not to make a mess," he says smartly as he places his hand over his forehead and shakes his head disapprovingly at her. He scrunches up his nose in disgust as he watches her stick her whole hand on her plate and smear the syrup and toast all over.

I giggle and then groan as Emma picks up a piece of French toast, shoves it into her mouth, and then rubs her sticky syrup-covered hand across the top of her head. "What was your Daddy thinking?" I tease as I look over at Derek.

Derek laughs and shrugs his shoulders. "What? Syrup is good for your hair. Makes it shiny, right Em?" he says sarcastically.

Emma giggles and slams both hands onto her plate and rubs her fingers wildly through the sticky mess she is creating. She brings her hands in front of her face and watches as the syrup runs slowly down her arms. She shoves one of her set of fingers into her mouth while the other plays with her slimy breakfast. She begins jabbering loudly as she tries to pick up a piece of French toast in her sticky fingers.

I smirk and smile at Derek as I ask him, "What is she saying now, Derek?"

I laugh as Derek groans and says in his best baby voice, "My Daddy is an idiot."

* * *

"Mommy, I'm bored," Jacob says for the one-hundredth time since breakfast. He flops down onto his back on the carpet in front of me and pouts.

I snuggle up closer to Derek as I lay between his legs on the couch. "I know, Jake. You've told us. Why don't you go try to teach Panda a new trick or something?"Jacob huffs and says, "He's not cooperating. All he wants to do is sleep."

"You could go read to Emma. She doesn't know how to read like you do," I say as I point my finger to his little sister across the room.

Jacob sighs and says flatly, "Fine. I'll go read to the baby. I'm so excited." He stands up and drags his feet on the carpet as he walks slowly over to Emma.

Derek and I can't help but laugh at his dramatics.

"Didn't you want to spend the day with Jacob?" Derek asks me softly as he buries his nose in the top of my hair.

I shake my head and say, "It's storming out. I don't feel like going out." My body melts a little more into his as his hands run up and down my back. "Why? Did you want to go do something today?" I ask quietly as I watch Jacob open a book and begin reading it to Emma.

Derek sighs and says, "Nope. I'm good. You've just been talking all week about doing something with Jacob alone. Just wondering what changed your mind."

I shrug my shoulders and say grumpily, "I just don't feel like it today."

* * *

"It stopped raining!" Jacob shouts as he looks out the window. "Mommy! Can we go now?" He jumps off of the couch and leaps onto my lap.

I smile and shake my head at him. "You're so impatient, Jacob. Emma is still eating her lunch. We have to let her finish, and then we'll go."

Jacob frowns and runs into the kitchen. I giggle when I hear him yell, "Hurry up, Emmy! Everyone is waiting for you!" I assume Derek must have scolded him for yelling at his baby sister, because he walks back out of the kitchen pouting.

"What's wrong, Jake?" I ask as he flops dramatically down onto my lap.

He folds his arms in front of him and says, "Daddy said Emmy is too tired to go."

"Ah…I see. Well, that doesn't mean you and Daddy still can't go while I put Emma down for a nap," I suggest. I brush the hair out of his eyes with my hand. "And besides, Daddy needs to take you for a haircut anyway. You can go do some man stuff with Daddy today. Would you like that?" I ask encouragingly.

Jacob smiles widely at me and nods his head. "Yeah, I like doing man stuff with Daddy," he says sheepishly, " 'cause he always buys me candy."

I laugh and say, "Will you bring me some this time?"

Jacob nods and jumps off of my lap. He runs into the kitchen to tell Derek the good news about getting to do man stuff together.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't mind us leaving?" Derek asks softly as he bends down to kiss me as I lay sprawled out on the couch.

I giggle and say, "I'm sure. This couch has my name written all over it today. Go have fun with your son." I pull his face to mine and kiss him firmly. "Love you," I say softly.

Derek grins at me and says, "Love you, too. We'll bring dinner home later, ok?"

I smile and nod at him. "Ok, have fun, boys. And no car buying today, Jacob. I mean it. No matter how much Daddy begs, you can't buy him a new car."

Jacob giggles at me and says, "Ok, Mommy. We won't buy any cars."

I wink at Derek as he opens the door for Jacob. I sigh and roll over onto my stomach and close my eyes. "Thank god. I'm so tired. I hope Emma wants an extra long nap today," I mutter to myself.

* * *

I smile proudly as I watch Emma let go of the couch and start walking toward me. "Come on, Em," I say softly as I hold my hands out to her. She takes a few more steady steps, and before I know it she has walked across the whole length of the living room.

I scoop her up in my arms and say, "You did it, Em!" I kiss her cheek and hug her tightly against my chest until she wiggles out of my grip.

She spots Panda sleeping on the rug by the front door, and she starts walking toward him shouting, "Paa!"

Panda opens his eyes and cocks his head at her as he watches her approaching him. He jumps up and wags his tail excitedly as she takes the last few steps between them. Emma falls down onto her rear and yells angrily at Panda as he leaps forward and tackles her. She starts crying as he licks her face, getting doggy drool all over her cheeks.

I walk over to her and pick her up off of the floor. "Not so fun being the one who gets drooled all over, is it, Sweetie?" I tease.

Emma sticks her thumb in her mouth and lays her head on my shoulder.

My heart melts a little and I say, "Aw, I'm just kidding, Em. You can drool on Mommy anytime."

* * *

Jacob flings the front door open and runs into the living room. "Surprise!" he yells as he holds his arms out widely.

I try not to frown as I look at his new extremely short haircut. "Wow, Jake. You really got your hair cut short this time," I say with a fake smile across my face.

"Yep," Jacob replies. "I got it cut just like Aaron's. Do you like it, Mommy?" He walks over to me and smiles widely as he runs his hands across his extra-short hair. He grabs my hand and moves it back and forth over the back of his hair. "Does this tickle your hand?" he asks through his enormous grin.

I giggle and shake my head at him. "It does. I think you look very grown-up with this hair cut, Jacob."

Jake smiles sheepishly at me and says, "Daddy got his cut just like mine, too."

My heart drops as I try to picture Derek with his hair all buzzed off.

Jacob laughs and says, "Just kidding, Mommy! Daddy didn't get his haircut!" He giggles and runs away as I lunge off of the couch after him.

"Not funny, Jake!" I yell up the stairs at him.

* * *

"The kids are asleep," Derek announces as he walks into the den.

I keep my focus on the papers in front of me and nod. "That was fast," I say quietly. I tap my pen on the desk as I stare blankly at the words.

Derek studies my expression for a long moment before speaking. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asks as he folds his arms across his chest.

I sigh and say, "Nothing's wrong, Derek. I just have to get these fellowship applications finished."

Derek unfolds his arms and sits down on the desk. He picks up the application I've been staring at for the past thirty minutes. "Pediatric cardiothoracic fellowship. Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

I nod my head and say, "Yes. No question about it. I just hope I get the spot."

Derek tosses the application down onto the desk. "Why do you think you won't?" he asks.

I shrug my shoulders and don't say anything.

"Meredith. Talk to me. What is going on?" Derek asks softly as he hops off of the desk and kneels down beside me.

I exhale and try to keep tears from forming in my eyes as I start to talk. "Fine. I just…I don't think that I'm going to get the spot because I'm the only applicant that has small children. I refuse to work more than sixty hours a week so I can be home with our kids by dinner time every night, and that puts me at a huge disadvantage," I say.

"Meredith, that doesn't mean you won't get the spot. It just means they will have to be flexible with your schedule, that's all," he says softly.

I shake my head and hold up the stack of papers in front of me. "All of these, Derek. All of these say they want their fellows to work a minimum of seventy to eighty hours a week. I won't do that. I can't. Working seventy hours a week means I won't be here for dinner at night. Working eighty hours a week means I won't even be here to tuck the kids in to bed when they go to sleep. How the hell am I supposed to do this?" I drop the papers down on the desk and then wipe an angry lone tear from my cheek.

Derek frowns at me and places his hand under my chin to make me look at him. "Meredith, it doesn't matter what the application says. The chief will work with you on your schedule. Working sixty hours a week will only mean that it will take you longer to complete your fellowship than every one else. Big deal. They won't deny you because of that," he says.

I pull my face out of his hand and say, "You don't know that."

Derek shakes his head at me and says, "You're right, I don't. But you're the best cardio resident Seattle Grace has seen in years. They'll be insane to let you go."

I bite my bottom lip nervously and say, "I hope you're right." I pick up my pen and begin writing on the application.

I feel Derek staring at me and I toss my pen back down. "What?" I ask as I scrunch my forehead up at him.

Derek stands up and leans on the desk. "What else is wrong?'

I swallow a nervous lump and look down at the desk.

"Are you worried about having a baby during your fellowship?" he asks as he stares intently at me.

I roll my eyes and mutter, "No. That's definitely not what's wrong." I take a deep breath in and then exhale as I run my hand through my hair.

Derek understands what is wrong with me and he turns my chair to make me face him. He kneels down in between my legs and wraps his arms around my waist. "No baby?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head slightly and look down at the floor.

Derek leans his head against my chest and says, "So we'll keep trying until we make a baby. Don't get discouraged already, Sweetheart."

I huff and say, "I am discouraged, Derek. You know how long it took to get pregnant with Emma. I just…don't want to go through that again. All the months of disappointment. I don't think I can handle it. Maybe it's a sign." I push his body off of me and turn back to face the desk.

"A sign," Derek says flatly. "A sign for what?"

"It's going to be hard enough trying to do my Fellowship and have time for Jacob and Emma. Maybe it's just not the right time to add another baby to our family. Maybe I don't want to try anymore," I say dismissively with a shrug of my shoulders.

Derek nods his head in frustration. "Just like that. You're giving up just like that, Meredith? Where is all of this coming from? Because for the last month you've been nothing but excited about adding another baby to this family."

I don't bother trying to keep the tears from escaping my eyes as Derek gets upset with me. "I'm just…I'm doubting myself. I don't want to suddenly turn into this absent mother who never sees her kids. I don't want to bring a new baby into this family knowing full well that I will likely not be here to raise it," I say angrily.

Derek sighs and shakes his head. "Meredith," he says quietly. "You're not an absent mother. You won't be an absent mother when you start your fellowship. So stop beating yourself up about working. You always make time for our kids. You always make time for this family."

I wipe the tears off my cheek with the back of my hand.

"You're not your mom, Meredith," he says softly. "I know she was absent, and I know you worry that being a great surgeon is somehow going to make you less of a mom. But you are not your mom. Please stop comparing yourself to her." He bends forward and uses his thumb to wipe the tears off of my face. "And you have what your mom didn't, Meredith," he says quietly as he tilts my face toward him to make me look at him.

I bite my bottom lip as I wait for him to continue. "You have me. Our kids have a father who loves them and takes care of them, too. So they will never be alone at dinnertime. They will never go to bed without one of us tucking them in and kissing them goodnight. We're in this together, Sweetheart."

I blink rapidly and wipe a fresh set of tears from my cheeks and I nod my head. "I know. I know you're here, Derek," I manage to choke out. I lean forward and rest my forehead against his. "I'm sorry," I whisper as I wrap my arms around his neck.

Derek kisses me gently and says softly, "For what?" He brings my body tight against his as his arms tangle around my waist.

I exhale unsteadily and say, "Saying I don't want another baby." I pull my face back slightly to look at him. "I want another baby, Derek. I want that so much," I say with an apologetic smile.

Derek slowly leans his face into mine and kisses me softly. He wipes the tears from my cheeks with his hands and says, "I want that, too, Meredith. And I promise we'll make it work when we do have another baby, ok? We'll make it work because this family is the most important thing in my life. I love you and these kids more than anything in this world. I love you." He kisses me again gently as I sniffle.

I smile through my tears as I break off the kiss. "I love you, too, Derek," I say as I press my forehead against his. "More than anything."

**Thanks for reading! Comments and suggestions are adored!**


	15. Sheldon

**Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. I truly appreciate them all! This chapter is just shameless fluff. Nothing but fluff. Seriously. You've been warned.**

I walk into the residents' lounge and pour myself my third cup of coffee since midnight. I don't bother with cream and sugar this time, and instead just take a large gulp of the black scalding hot liquid. "Shit…" I mutter to myself when I realize that I should have let the coffee cool off a tad before inhaling it. I exhale tiredly as I look at the clock and see that it's past 4 a.m.

I plop my exhausted body down onto the couch and sink back into the cushions. My eyes close unintentionally as a wave of exhaustion begins to overwhelm me. The couch suddenly feels like the most comfortable place on the entire earth, and I let out a long appreciative sigh as I snuggle further into the fabric.

I realize that I have unfortunately let myself fall asleep when Cristina jumps onto the couch next to me, making my now ice cold coffee spill all over my scrub pants when I wake up with a jolt. "Shit! Cristina!" I grumble as stand up and wipe a hand across my wet pants.

Cristina laughs and says, "Sorry, Mer. You know I couldn't resist. Paybacks, my pretty." She glares playfully at me and I roll my eyes.

I walk over to my locker and take my street clothes out. "Fine, but we're even now," I tell her as I yank my scrub pants off and pull on my denim jeans. I finish changing quickly and shove my dirty scrubs into my locker.

Cristina stands up and walks over to the bench in front of me and sits down. "Even? No. Don't think so, Mer."

I giggle and ask sarcastically, "No? Making me spill freezing cold coffee on my own pants isn't vindication enough for the 'tell-a-geeky-intern-Cris-has-the-hots-for-him' thing?"

Cristina glares again and says, "Not even close. You know, he still follows me around everywhere. Evvveerrryyywheeerrre."

"Who? Brad?" I ask I stick my pager and cell phone into my purse.

"Brian," Cristina corrects. "Brian, Meredith. You know that's his name, you smelly hooker. Stop acting innocent. Wednesday he actually chased me into the parking lot when I was leaving just to hand me a muffin." She groans and shakes her head at me.

I try to unsuccessfully stifle a giggle. "Aw, that's sweet, Cris. He's trying to take care of you. Maybe you two really are meant to be together…forever." I shove my purse over my shoulder and smile tiredly at Cristina.

Cristina laughs and shakes her head at me. "Just what I need, a pimple-faced twelve-year old to bring me food and be my love slave," she says sarcastically. Her smile fades and she scrunches up her nose at me. "Speaking of pimples, Mer…honey, you've…got a big one," she says as she stands up and points to my cheek.

"What?" I say as I look into the mirror in my locker. "Shit…," I mutter as I run my finger across the large red bump on my cheek.

"Does it hurt?" Cristina asks as she pokes my cheek hard with her finger.

"Ow! Only when you poke it!" I say as I push her hand away from my face. "Stupid zit. I'm supposed to have a date with Derek tonight. He's going to be staring at my enormous pimple all through dinner," I mumble as I shut my locker angrily and walk across the lounge.

Cristina runs to catch up to me as I walk into the corridor. "Do you want Dr. Daisy Pepman to take a look at it? I'll take you up to derm if you want me to," she jokingly offers as she walks next to me toward the elevators.

I giggle at her and say, "Do you think Dr. Daisy Pepman could fit me and my huge zit into her tight schedule on such short notice?" I reach forward and push the button as we reach the elevator doors.

Cristina frowns and says, "No. Probably not. Dr. Daisy Pepman is a busy woman. Just go home and put some toothpaste on it. It's what Dr. Daisy Pepman does."

I giggle again and say, "You still like saying her name, don't you?"

Cristina smiles brightly and says, "Yes."

I laugh and shake my head at her as the elevator doors open. "You're such an idiot," I tell her as I walk into the elevator. Cristina smiles at me from the corridor and says as the doors begin to close in front of her, "Toothpaste, Mer. Seriously. You don't want Derek to spend all night flirting with your gigantic pimple."

I roll my eyes as the doors shut, and I sigh when I notice a group of interns behind me trying to see my huge zit in the reflection on the elevator doors.

* * *

"Mommy!" Jacob yells as I walk in the front door. The smell of bacon fills my nostrils and makes my stomach growl.

"Morning, Jake," I say as I reach down and lift him up to hug him. "Mmmm…I missed you last night." He wraps his arms tightly around my neck and hugs me hard. "Not so hard, Jacob. You're going to make my head pop off," I say as I pry his hands off my neck.

Jacob laughs and squirms out of my grip. "Look how strong I am, Mommy," he says as he flexes his biceps for me.

I whistle and squeeze his arms in my hands. "Wow, Jake. Have you been working out?" I ask seriously as he continues to pose like a body builder.

Jacob smiles as he puts his arms down at his sides and says, "Guess what, Mommy? I got in trouble at school yesterday." He wiggles his eyebrows at me and grins widely.

I frown and say, "Why? Jake, what happened?"

He flexes his arms for me again and says in his best manly voice, "I got in trouble for bringing these guns to school."

I bite my bottom lip as I try not to laugh.

Jacob giggles and says, "Get it, Mommy?"

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Yeah, Jake. I get it. You're as funny as your daddy," I say as I shake my head at him. "Did you eat breakfast already?" I ask as I walk toward the kitchen.

"Yep," Jacob says as he grabs my hand and walks beside me. "I was starving. But I saved you some waffles." He smiles up at me as we enter the kitchen.

"MaMa!" Emma yells loudly as she sees me walking in. She reaches her arms up to me and smiles.

"Hey, Em," I tell her as I walk to her highchair and kiss her forehead.

She pouts at me as I take a step back. Her arms reach out for me again and she flexes her hands open and closed.

I smile and unbuckle her from her highchair and lift her up. I hug her tight and kiss her cheek. "Is that better?" I ask her as she tangles her sticky fingers in my hair.

She whispers, "MaMa," and presses her face against mine.

I look over at Derek as he leans against the counter. "Morning," I say as I walk over to him.

He smiles softly at me and bends forward to kiss my lips gently. "Morning," he says quietly.

I kiss him again quickly and then carry Emma to the table.

Jacob pulls my chair out for me and says, "Have a seat, Mommy." He smiles at me and gives me an exaggerated wink.

I giggle and sit down, and say, "Thanks, Jake," as he tries to scoot my chair up to the table.

He runs over to the counter and grabs a plate of food from Derek. "Here you go, Beautiful," Jacob says as he sets my breakfast in front of me on the table.

"Thanks," I say through my smile as I watch him run out of the kitchen. I look back at Derek and raise my eyebrow at him.

"What?" he asks sheepishly. He flips a waffle onto his plate and walks over to the table and sits down.

"What do you boys do when I'm at work all night? Practice being cheesy?" I tease as I readjust Emma on my lap so she faces Derek. She picks up a spoon and begins banging it on the table.

Derek smiles at me and says, "What? I don't know what you're talking about, Beautiful." He picks up the syrup and pours some on my waffle for me. He tilts his head and gives me 'the look'.

Emma stops banging the spoon and looks up at me.

"Do Jake and Daddy practice their cheesiness on you when I'm not here, Emma?" I ask her.

She smiles at me and says, "DaDa."

"That's what I thought," I say sarcastically as I wink at Derek. I wrap my arm tighter around Emma's waist as she starts to wiggle. "So what did you do last night?" I ask Derek as I cut a piece of waffle off and shove it into my mouth. Emma squirms and I set her down on the floor. Derek and I both watch her walk out of the kitchen in search of Jacob.

"We watched a movie, and the kids went to bed early. I worked on my research for awhile," Derek says before taking a bite of bacon. "How was your night?"

I groan and say, "Awful. I didn't get to sit down until four this morning." I take another bite of waffle and then push my plate away. "I think I'm too tired to eat."

Derek nods at me and watches as I stand up from the table and walk over to him. "We'll wake you up after the kids take their naps later. Go to bed," he says as I sit down on his lap.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and he does the same to my waist. "I missed you last night," I tell him as I my fingers play with the curls on the back of his head.

Derek pulls my body flush against his and kisses my lips gently. I lay my head down on his shoulder as we break off the kiss. "Go to bed, Sweetheart," he whispers into my ear as I nuzzle my face into his neck.

"Ok," I whisper back.

I feel Derek smile against my cheek as he whispers, "You're not moving."

I lift my head and sigh before saying, "Fine. Going to bed now." I kiss him quickly and stand up from his lap.

I walk through the living room and bend down and kiss Emma on the head as she sits on the carpet playing with Panda's ears. Panda raises his head to look at me and I scratch him under his chin. "See you after naptime, Em," I say before kissing her quickly on the cheek.

Emma yells, "Paa, MaMa!" as she pats Panda's back roughly. I smile at her and say, "Panda loves you, too, Em."

I run up the stairs and peek into Jacob's room. "I'm going to bed. Give me a kiss, Jake," I say as I stand in his doorway.

He tosses his book on the floor and runs over to me, puckering up his lips. I bend down and give him a kiss. He scrunches up his nose at me as I stand back up.

"Mommy, you've got something on your cheek," he says as he points to my pimple.

I place my hand over my cheek and sigh. "I know, Jake. It's just a zit."

Jacob looks thoughtful and says, "Should we name it?" He wraps his arms around my waist as he looks up at my face, intently examining my pimple.

I giggle and shake my head. "No. You only name freckles, Jake."

He pouts up at me and says, "Please? I want to name it." He bats his big blue eyes at me.

I sigh and say, "Fine. Give it a name."

Jacob grins and says, "Sheldon."

My nose scrunches up and I say, "Sheldon? That's the best you can do? I give your freckles cool names like Batman and the Hulk, and all I get is a pimple named Sheldon?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

Jacob laughs and says, "Yep. Sheldon. Have a good nap, Mommy!" He unwraps his arms from my waist and runs past me down the hall.

I sigh and walk to my bedroom, quickly changing into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth, and then dab some toothpaste onto my cheek in hopes that my zit will magically go away before I wake up. "Stupid pimple," I mutter.

* * *

I wake up when I feel Derek climb into bed next to me. "Where are the kids?" I mumble as I press my body against his and wrap my arms around his waist. I keep my eyes closed as Derek pulls me tight against his chest.

"Sleeping," he whispers before kissing my forehead, and then my lips.

I moan into his mouth as the kiss deepens. "Is my nap over?" I tease as Derek nibbles on my earlobe. My fingers tangle in the back of his hair as his lips begin to roam along my neck.

"Is that a problem?" Derek asks as he climbs on top of me. I wrap my legs around his waist and smile at him.

I pull his face to mine and kiss him thoroughly. "Maybe," I reply as I reach for the hem on his t-shirt and pull it up over his chest.

Derek sits up slightly and takes his shirt off the rest of the way. "Do you want me to go away?" he asks as he smiles naughtily at me. He scoots his body down the bed and lifts my t-shirt up, exposing my stomach. His lips begin blazing a hot wet trail along my waist and up to my breasts. I raise my arms over my head, and Derek lifts my shirt off of my body.

"No. You can stay," I say quietly through my smile as Derek returns his face to my stomach. My breath hitches in my throat as his lips wrap around one of my nipples. I moan and say, "You can definitely stay."

* * *

"It's not fair, Mommy!" Jacob shouts angrily at me as he folds his arms across his chest.

I sigh and fold my arms across my chest, mirroring his image as he stands in front of me.

"Jake, Daddy and I have a date. No kids allowed on dates. I'm sorry," I try to explain.

He squeezes a couple of tears out of his eyes and pouts. "But I love you, Mommy. I want to go, too," he says pathetically. "Don't you love me, Mommy?"

Suddenly, I feel like the meanest mom in the world, and my heart sinks a little as I look at Jacob's pouty tear-streaked face. I groan as I look over at Derek as he sits smirking on the couch. "Really? You're making me deal with this on my own?" I ask sarcastically as I glare at Derek.

Derek smiles and shrugs his shoulders. I sigh and walk over to the couch and plop myself down into Derek's lap. He wraps his arms around my waist as I lean my back against his chest. We both laugh a little as Jacob lays down on the floor and buries his face into the carpet and sniffles loudly. "Now that's just pathetic," I say as I shake my head at Jacob's dramatic show.

"Is it working?" Derek whispers into my ear before leaning his chin on my shoulder.

"Maybe," I whisper my reply.

I sigh as Emma stands up from her spot next to the toy box and walks over to Jacob. She kneels down next to him and pats his head. "Jay," she says loudly as she runs her hand through his hair. She looks up expectantly at me when Jacob doesn't respond to her.

I exhale loudly and say flatly, "Fine, Jake. We can all go."

Jacob jumps up from the floor and yells, "WooHoo! Em, we get to go!" Emma giggles at him as he grabs her hands and jumps up and down.

I narrow my eyes at Jacob and mutter, "Why do I feel like I've just been suckered?"

Derek shakes his head at me as I look back at him. "Because you were," he whispers.

"I'm pathetic," I whisper. "I owe you a date now."

Derek smiles at me and says, "Next Saturday?" He wraps his arms tighter around my stomach.

I shake my head and say, "No. Emma's birthday party is next Saturday. Two weeks from tonight. I promise. Just the two of us."

Derek nods his approval. "You better work on toughening yourself up against the pouty face before then. You've gone soft on me," he teases.

* * *

I stick a spoonful of strawberry ice cream in Emma's mouth and giggle as her face contorts into a scowl at the coldness. "Jake, finish up. You're ice cream is melting," I say as I give Emma another bite.

Jacob scoops up a huge bite of his chocolate chip ice cream and shoves it into his mouth. His eyes begin to water as he tries to chew it. He looks like he's going to cry when he finally swallows it. "SHIT!" he yells loudly as he holds his hand over his forehead. "Brain freeze!"

Derek snorts and takes a bite of his disgusting coffee ice cream, obviously avoiding the obscenity that is lingering in the air of Baskin Robbins.

"Jacob, what did you say?" I ask as hold a spoonful of ice cream several inches from Emma's mouth, my hand seemingly frozen in mid-air. Emma opens her mouth in anticipation of being fed, and begins bouncing up and down frustratedly in her highchair as the spoonful of ice cream dangles in front of her face.

Jacob's eyes grow wide as he looks at me in fear. "Uhhh…I said brain freeze?" he says softly as he slinks down in the booth.

I narrow my eyes at him and reply, "Uh huh, right, mister. That word better not ever come out of your mouth again or you're in big trouble, got it?" I jab the spoon back into my bowl of melting pink goop and glare at him.

"Yes, Mommy," he says quietly. He pushes his bowl away from him and rubs his hand over his stomach. "I'm full. Can we go home now?" Jacob rests his chin in his hands as he props his elbows up on the table.

I giggle when I look at Derek feeding Emma a big bite of coffee ice cream. "You're giving a baby coffee?"

Derek laughs and says, "I just want to see if she likes it." He shoves the spoon into her mouth, and she immediately spits it out and cries. She frowns at Derek and yells, "BaDaDa!"

Derek wipes the ice cream off of Emma's chin with his napkin, and raises his eyebrows at me and asks, "What do you think she just yelled at me?"

I shake my head and say, "She probably said 'Daddy's ice cream tastes like…'" I mouth the word 'shit' to Derek.

* * *

Emma starts to cry as I pour a cupful of warm water over her hair and face. "Sorry, Em. You had ice cream in your hair," I mutter as she squirms out of my grasp. She grabs the side of the tub and pulls herself up as tears roll down her cheeks. "Come here," I say as I lift her out of the tub and lay her on top of her hooded towel. She stops crying and rubs her fists over her eyes. A yawn escapes her mouth as I quickly dry her off and wrap the towel around her.

I stand up off of the floor, pick up Emma, and carry her across the hall to her bedroom. She wiggles until I put her down on the floor, and the towel falls off of her as she walks naked to her toy box.

I grab a diaper and pair of yellow pajamas from her dresser, and sit down on the floor next to Emma. She screams at me when I lift her up and lay her down on the carpet between my legs. "Hold still, Em," I plead as I try unsuccessfully to fasten her diaper. Finally, she stops squirming long enough for me to attach her diaper and shove her legs into her footie pajamas.

I finish dressing her and pick her up, holding her little body against my chest. Emma nuzzles her face into my neck and sticks her thumb in her mouth. I stand up and walk to her changing table, pick up her hairbrush, and then sit down in the rocking chair.

She looks up at me as I straddle her legs around my waist. I softly run the brush through her baby fine curls and slick her hair back. I scrunch up my nose and toss the brush back onto the table. I run my fingers gently through her hair and mess it back up. "That's better," I say before kissing her on her forehead. Emma lays her head back down on my shoulder as I start rocking with her. I close my eyes and press my nose into the top of her wet hair as she snuggles up against me.

I open my eyes when I feel Derek pressing his lips onto mine. He places his hand on top of mine as I hold Emma tight against my body.

"You girls fell asleep," he says softly before he kisses Emma's cheek.

I smile as I look down at Emma asleep against my chest. "We were snuggling," I say as I bury my nose into her hair. "She actually let me rock her. It's been awhile." I stand up and carry Emma over to her crib, laying her down carefully so she doesn't wake up.

She rolls over onto her side and snuggles against her stuffed puppy when Derek places it against her chest. He lays her pink blanket on top of her body and runs his hand across her hair. "I can't believe she's going to turn one already," he says sadly.

I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face in his chest. I groan. "Don't remind me," I tell him. I feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes and I bury my face deeper into his t-shirt.

* * *

"Goodnight, Jake. Sweet dreams," I say as I tuck Jacob's blanket under his arms.

He smiles at me and says, "Goodnight, Mommy. And goodnight, Sheldon." He places his hand over his mouth and giggles at his own joke.

I smirk at him and say, "Funny, Jake." I kiss his forehead and stand up. I motion for Panda to come to me, and I pick him up and lay him next to Jacob on the bed. "Night, boys," I say as I walk to the door and turn off the light.

I go down the hall into my bedroom and grab some pajamas out of the dresser. I take a quick shower, get dressed, and comb my hair. I smear a little more toothpaste onto my zit and mutter, "You suck, Sheldon."

I walk downstairs and grab a blanket from the mantle and join Derek on the couch.

"So what are we watching?" I say as I lay down between Derek's legs. I pull the blanket up to my armpit and snuggle into Derek's stomach.

"Basketball. The Knicks are playing," he announces smugly.

I groan and say, "Derek, please…no. You know I hate basketball." I rest my chin on his stomach and look up at him and pout.

Derek grins and wiggles his eyebrows. "Sorry, babe. First one to the couch gets to pick what we watch. You know the rules," he teases before pressing his lips to the top of my hair.

I sigh and lay my cheek back on his stomach. "Fine, I could use another nap," I mutter as I close my eyes.

Derek runs his fingers through my wet hair before resting his hands on my back. "You're really not going to watch this with me?" he asks.

I moan and reply, "Nope. Sleeping. Wake me up when it's over."

Derek runs his hands up and down my back softly. "Do you just want to go to bed?" he asks.

I sigh and mutter, "No. I'm good here. You're comfy." I smile as Derek tucks a strand of damp hair behind my ear.

"Goodnight then?" he says quietly.

I lift my head and smile at him. "Yes?" I reply. "Unless there is something else you want me to do…" I wiggle my eyebrows at him and giggle as a grin breaks out over his face.

"You know what I want you to do," he says suggestively. He winks at me playfully.

I roll my eyes and say sarcastically, "Don't you get tired of me doing this for you all the time?"

Derek laughs and says, "No. Never. You do it the best, Meredith."

I giggle and sit up. "Fine. I'll make you some damn popcorn. But you have to be my human pillow for the rest of the night," I offer.

"Deal," he says before leaning forward and kissing me quickly.

I tangle my hands in the back of his hair and bring his face back to mine. "Love you," I say softly before letting my lips linger against his as we kiss.

He smiles at me when he pulls his face away from mine. "Are you just saying that so you can use me as your pillow for the evening?" he teases.

I giggle and say, "Maybe." I run my hands down his chest and rest them on his stomach as I sit between his legs.

Derek laughs and says, "I love you, too."

I raise my eyebrows at him and ask, "Are you just saying that so I will make you some popcorn?"

Derek smiles and kisses me gently. "Maybe," he whispers against my lips.

**A/N: Normally I would wish you all a Happy Grey's Day, but we're stuck with another re-run tonight. *sighs sadly* Thanks for reading, and you know I adore your comments!**


	16. Happy Birthday Emma

**Thanks as always to everyone who continues to leave me such positive comments on this story! You really make my day. Special thanks to Amber for her inspiration with Jacob in this chapter. I hope it does your experience justice. Enjoy!**

I wake up when I feel Derek nuzzling his stubble-covered cheek against the back of my neck. I exhale slowly and turn my body to face his. "It's too early," I say softly as I press my face into his chest and wrap my arms around his waist.

Derek moans and kisses the top of my head. He takes a deep whiff of my hair and mumbles, "It's Emma's birthday." He runs his hands up and down my back gently.

I pull my face away from his chest and squint at him through the darkness. "So…ok…it's Emma's birthday. You're waking me up at…" I pause and look over at the alarm clock, "…5:38 in the morning to tell me that?" I sigh tiredly and close my eyes again. Derek doesn't answer, but presses his body close to mine under the covers . "I confuse easily before the sun comes up, Derek. Why are we awake?" I grumble.

Derek laughs softly and says, "We're awake because in exactly 2 minutes, our beautiful little girl will be one year old. I thought you might want to celebrate the occasion."

I open my eyelids and glare at my husband's eyes as they twinkle mischievously in the dark. "Celebrate. You mean…sex…" I say flatly. I exhale grumpily and return my face to his chest and close my eyes. "Too early. Going back to sleep," I tell him as I bring my arms in front of my chest and curl up against his body.

Derek leans his face to mine and kisses me softly on the lips. "Meredith…come on. A quickie? I'm wide awake. And Jake will be up in twenty minutes anyway. Come on…" he coaxes with his smooth voice as his hands snake under the back of my t-shirt.

I moan at the feel of his warm hands and resign myself to the fact that Derek is not giving up on his request for sex this morning. "Fine," I mutter, "but I'm not awake enough to do any work. I'm just going to lay here like a slug." I roll myself onto my back and lay my arms above my head on my pillow.

Derek quirks an eyebrow up at me and thinks for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "Ok," he says smugly through a wicked grin as he climbs on top of me.

I giggle as he buries his rough face in my neck and begins kissing his way down my body. I try to stay true to my threat of making him do all the work as he ravages my body with his soft lips. "I could really wake up like this every morning," I say before moaning in appreciation of Derek's mouth on my thighs.

Derek grins up at me as I tangle my fingers in his hair. He pulls my panties down and off of my body quickly in a race against the clock. I laugh as he scoots himself back up my body and asks, "Ready?"

I roll my eyes and look over at the clock. "You better get a move on," I tease him playfully, knowing full well that Jake will be pounding on our door in approximately fifteen minutes. I wrap my legs around his waist in encouragement.

He nods and gets to work, pressing his lips to mine in a feverish kiss as he begins to make love to me.

"SHHH!! Not so loud!" I tell him as he starts to make the bed bang against the wall.

Derek buries his face in my neck and moans…loudly. He stops moving when we hear a soft knock on our bedroom door. "Nooooo…" he groans as he lifts his body slightly up to look at me.

I giggle and look over at the clock. "Ten minutes early. Damn," I say as I push my hands against his chest and force him to get off of me.

"Aw…come on, Mer," he pleads. "I can finish quick." He tries to climb back on me and I laugh and roll off of the bed.

"You really shouldn't brag about that, baby," I say with a smirk as I pick my panties up off the floor and pull them back on. "And you know we can't have sex when Jake is standing out in the hall." I grab a pair of pajama bottoms from my drawer and slide them on.

Derek frowns and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. He sighs grumpily as he watches me open the bedroom door.

"Morning, Jake," I say as I look down at our freckle faced intruder.

Jacob looks up at me and scrunches up his forehead at me. "What were you doing in here, Mommy? You waked me up," he says as he wipes his fists over his eyes to get the sleepiness out.

"Um…huh?" I say, trying to hide the panic in my voice. I'm pretty sure my cheeks are blushing. I hear Derek laugh from his spot under the covers.

"Mommy was jumping on the bed, Jacob," Derek says as he scoots his back up against the headboard. "I tried to stop her, but she just wouldn't."

Jacob giggles and runs into my room, launching himself next to Derek on the bed. "Did she get in trouble? Cuz when I jumped on my bed, Mommy made me sit in time-out," he says seriously as he leans against the headboard. He rests his hands behind his head, just like Derek is doing, and they both grin at me.

I roll my eyes and say, "Jake, go let your dog out before he pees all over the carpet."

Jacob jumps up to his feet and bounces off the bed onto the floor. He races down the stairs with Panda following close behind him.

I glare at Derek playfully and say, "Jumping on the bed?"

He shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, I didn't see you coming up with a better story."

I giggle and ask, "Do you think he'll look back on this in ten years and realize what we were really doing?"

Derek nods and says, "Probably."

I exhale loudly and say, "He's going to need therapy. Poor kid. And you need to get a cold shower. And then cook me some breakfast." I wink at him and smile as I lean against the door frame.

"Bossy," he mutters as he slips off the bed and pulls his pajama pants on. He walks over to me and kisses me softly on the lips.

"You love it," I whisper against his mouth.

"Maybe," he whispers his reply.

* * *

I shake my head at Derek as he sets a plate of scrambled eggs and chopped up bananas in front of Emma.

"What?" he asks as he notices my disapproving expression.

"You know she hates eggs. She's going to scream," I say as I turn my gaze to Emma. She picks up a piece of egg and sticks it in her mouth. She immediately spits it out and screams. "Told ya," I say with a sarcastic smile.

Derek rolls his eyes at me and grabs the Cheerios out of the cupboard. He dumps a pile of them on Emma's tray and picks the eggs off of her plate. "Mommy thinks she's so smart," he mutters as he places a kiss on top of Emma's head. She looks up at him and smiles as she picks up a piece of cereal and sticks it into her mouth.

"So, what time is this party happening?" Derek asks as he sits down across the table from me.

Jacob's face lights up and he says, "We're having a party? Woohoo!" He stabs a bite of egg and shoves it hungrily into his mouth.

"It's Emma's birthday, Jake. How cool is that?" I say before taking a long sip of my coffee.

Jacob scrunches up his forehead in thought as he looks at Emma drinking from her sippy cup. She opens her mouth and lets some juice drip down her chin. "How old is she?" he asks.

"She's one," Derek replies.

Jacob shrugs his shoulders and says, "She still looks like a messy little baby to me." He sighs as he watches Emma mash a piece of banana between her fingers. She opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue to try to lick the yellow squish off her hand. She smears it on her nose and chin as she picks up a fistful of cereal with her other hand. Jacob returns his attention to his eggs in disgust to avoid watching his sister get Cheerios stuck all over her banana facial.

"Party's at four," I say to Derek. "I still have to clean the house and bake Em's cake, and you need to go to the store and get some steaks for dinner."

Derek and Jacob both look at me with puzzled expressions.

"What?" I ask as I look back and forth between them.

"Mommy, you can't bake a cake!" Jacob says as he lets out a long giggle. He sighs and shakes his head at me before resting his forehead in his hand. He giggles again.

"Maybe I should just pick a cake up at the store," Derek offers as he wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I laugh and look at Emma. "Em, do you want Mommy to make your birthday cake?" She smiles at me and bounces up and down in her highchair. I look down at her tray and then say, "Wow. You ate all your cereal already?" I look down at the floor and don't see any Cheerios. I shrug my shoulders and stand up to get a washcloth from the drawer. I get it wet and then wash Emma's banana covered face and hands off. She holds her arms up to me as I unbuckle her and lift her out of the highchair.

"Mommy, I found Emma's breakfast," Jacob says as he points to Emma's butt. I turn her around and notice the cereal stuck all over her pajamas.

I giggle as Derek reaches over and brushes the Cheerios off her rump.

* * *

"Mommy, are you sure you know how to do this?" Jacob asks as he sits on the counter watching my every move.

I dump the cake mix into the bowl, and then hold the box in front of his face. "Look, Jake. There are only four steps involved. I think I can handle it," I reply with a giggle. I pick up an egg and crack it into the bowl. "Shit," I mutter as pieces of eggshell land on top of the cake mix.

Jacob's hand flies over his mouth and he says, "Ummm!! Mommy!"

I wince and say, "Sorry, Jake." I stick my fingers in the bowl and try to retrieve the shells.

Jacob studies my face and then asks, "Mommy? Why do you get to say bad words?"

I stop digging through the cake mix and look at Jacob. "Um…because I'm a grown up. I can say bad words if I want to. Although, I shouldn't say them, because it's still pretty naughty." I shrug my shoulders and then pick the last piece of shell out of the bowl.

Jacob nods. "So when I'm a grown up, do I get to say bad words just like you?" he asks. He folds his hands across his chest and smiles at me. His feet kick back and forth against the cabinet as he waits for my answer.

I bite my bottom lip and then say, "I guess so, Jacob. Just not until you're at least twenty seven though, ok?"

Jacob raises his hands above his head and yells, "Yes! I get to cuss!"

* * *

I close Emma's bedroom door after laying her down for her nap and walk down the hall to my bedroom to take a quick shower. I turn the hot water on and step into the shower, moaning at the feel of the steaming water as it sprays down over my face. "What do you think you're doing?" I ask when I feel Derek's hands splay out across my stomach as he walks up behind me in the shower.

"Taking a shower with you," he says softly into my ear before nibbling on my earlobe.

I turn around and push his body away from mine. "No! Derek, you have to go to the store. People are going to be here in less than two hours and we have no food. No shower sex. Go away," I say firmly as I point to the bathroom door.

Derek smiles at me and raises his eyebrows. "You don't really want me to go away, do you?" he asks as he brings his body back to mine and wraps his arms around my waist. He presses his face into my neck and kisses and nips his way down to my shoulder.

"Um…yes?" I say as I tilt my head back and let the water spray down on us. I moan as Derek's kisses move lower on my body. He presses his face into my stomach and looks up at me with a sly grin as he drops to his knees.

"You sure?" he asks as his hands caress the back of my thighs.

"Um…no?" I say as I watch him gently begin to kiss my waistline. I tangle my fingers into his wet hair and moan. "Never mind. Nobody likes steak anyway," I say breathlessly as Derek begins to work magic with his tongue.

* * *

"What is she doing, Mommy?" Jacob asks me as we sit in the living room staring at Emma surrounded by a mountain of presents. She pulls a piece of tissue paper out of one of the bags and crunches it up in her hands. She pulls the bag between her legs, grabs another piece of tissue paper out, and pounds it on her lap, enjoying the noise she is making.

I giggle and shrug my shoulders. "This could take all night. She might need some help, Jake," I say as I point to Emma's presents.

He jumps off my lap and sits down on the floor next to Emma. "Here, Emma. Like this," he says as he grabs the bag from her and removes all the tissue paper in one big heave. He throws it into the air behind him and takes the gift out of the bag and hands it to his sister. Emma screams at him and grabs the bag from the floor. "Emma! Here's your present! Look! A new baby!" Jacob says firmly as he watches Emma stick her arm into the bag. She drops the bag and picks the tissue paper back up and begins playing with it. Jacob sighs and shakes his head. "Do you want me to open all your presents, Em?" he asks sweetly as he watches Emma's disinterest in her new toy.

Cristina moans and says, "Yes! Jake, open her presents so we can eat already. I'm starving."

He looks up at Cristina and grins. "Ok, Aunt Cris!" He grabs another bag and pulls the card out and throws it to me. I open it and say, "Em, this is from Aunt Lexie and Uncle Steve." Emma ignores me and continues playing with the paper.

"Hey! Cool! Finger paint!" Jacob says excitedly as he studies the box of art supplies.

Derek and I glare at Lexie and Steve. "Thanks, guys," Derek says sarcastically. "That shouldn't be messy at all." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Lexie shrugs her shoulders and says, "It's washable. I think." She grins playfully at us. "There's something else in the bag, Jake."

Jacob sticks his arm in the bag and pulls out a yellow dress and white patent leather shoes. He scrunches up his nose and tosses them behind his back.

Cristina snorts and says, "Clothes? Come on, Lexie. That's pretty lame. Open mine next, Jacob." She points her finger to a purple glittery bag.

Jacob nods and grabs the tissue paper out of it and tosses it in the air. Emma giggles as it lands on her head. "What is this?" Jacob asks in disgust as he opens the small silver box and looks inside. He puts the lid back on and tosses the box up to Derek.

Derek opens it and shakes his head. He hands the box to me and wraps his arm around my waist.

"Diamonds, Cris? You're giving a one-year old a diamond bracelet?" I tease as I hold the jewelry up in the air.

She shrugs her shoulders and says, "What? Every girl needs diamonds. And it's an anklet." She reaches down and points to her ankle. Derek and I stare at her like she's lost her mind. "Ok, at least I didn't give her clothes," she mutters as she shoots Lexie a disgusted look.

Izzie elbows Cristina in the stomach. "Be nice," she hisses as she glares at Cristina.

Cristina says sarcastically, "Oh, did you get her clothes, too?" She laughs as Jacob pulls out three new dresses from Izzie's gift bag and tosses them onto the floor.

* * *

I strap Emma into her highchair and put a bib around her neck.

Derek smirks at me and says, "Like that's going to help? Just take her clothes off." He walks over to Emma and takes off her bib, followed by her dress. "There, much better."

He picks up the video camera and winks at me. I pick up Emma's smash cake and set it in front of her. We all sing "Happy Birthday" and clap as Jacob blows out her candle.

Emma looks up at me, and then at the cake. She pokes her finger in the frosting and then shoves her hands into her lap.

"Ok, seriously Em? The one time you're actually allowed to play with your food and you choose not to?" I say sarcastically. I sit down next to Emma and grab her hand. I stick her finger back in the cake and run it through the frosting. "Take a bite," I tell her as I shove her finger to her lips. She giggles at me and sticks her tongue out to lick the frosting off her finger. She bounces up and down in her seat and then eyes the cake. She reaches both hands down and tries to pick the cake up off the tray. "MaMa!" she yells when the cake sticks to the tray. She purses her lips together and then smashes her fist on top of the cake.

Jacob laughs loudly and Emma smiles mischievously at him. She looks at her cake covered hand and then shoves it into her mouth. Jacob giggles at her as she smears pink frosting all over her face.

Emma leans forward and sticks her face into her cake and takes a bite. "That's my girl," Derek says as he shakes his head at her antics. We let her spend a few more minutes enjoying her cake before trying to take it away from her.

"Um…can you go run her a bath?" I ask Derek as I take the tray off the highchair and drop it in the sink. He smiles at me and then kisses the top of Emma's cake covered head. "Come on, Em," I say as I lift her out of her highchair. Chunks of cake fall off her stomach and land on the floor. I laugh when I notice Cristina and Jacob's identical disgusted expressions. They stare speechlessly at the remnants of the cake tornado that just blew through the kitchen.

* * *

"Hey, you made it," I say as I open the front door for Miranda. I kiss her on the cheek and then ask, "Where are the guys?"

She rolls her eyes at me and says, "They're at the Mariners game. Damn Yankees are in town tonight."

A collective male groan comes from the couch as Derek, Steve, and Alex all pout in unison.

"No. No baseball. You can survive for one day without watching sports," I say to the sulking men as I lead Miranda into the living room. "Don't even think about it. You still have to go grill our dinner." I give Derek the evil eye as he picks up the remote control. He sighs and drops the remote back onto the coffee table and gets up to go cook.

* * *

"Perfect steaks, Derek," Alex compliments as he rubs his stomach and smiles.

"Yeah, great dinner, Derek," Lexie says as she stands up from the table and begins to clear the plates.

Derek bends down and picks Emma up. She buries her face into his chest and sticks her thumb in her mouth. "Thanks," he says.

Jacob jumps out of his chair and stands next to Cristina, watching her chew the last bite of her steak. "You know you just ate a chopped up cow, right?" He shakes his head in disapproval at her.

Cristina licks her lips and swallows. "You're still not a meat-eater, Jake? No wonder you're so scrawny," she teases as she drops her fork onto her plate.

Jacob narrows his eyes at her and says, "I'm not scrawny! Look at these guns!" He flexes his arms for her.

Alex laughs and says, "Check these guns out, Jacob." He pushes his sleeve up to his shoulder and flexes his bicep. Jacob's face drops and he runs over to feel Alex's arm. "That's what eating chopped up cows can do for you," Alex says with a wink.

Jacob looks at my plate and stabs a piece of steak. He cringes as he watches bloody juice drip down onto my plate. "Gross," he whispers.

* * *

I carry a tray of coffee and cups through the living room. I roll my eyes at the guys as they sit sprawled out on the couch watching the baseball game like zombies. "Jake, come open the door for me, please," I say as I walk to the foyer.

Jacob jumps off the couch and opens the door for me. He follows me out onto the patio and climbs onto Izzie's lap.

"What's going on?" I ask I as notice Bailey glaring at Cristina.

"She won't give me the baby," Miranda says as she shakes her head.

Cristina shrugs her shoulders and says, "I had her first. And she likes me. I gave her diamonds. Look." She wiggles Emma's leg in her hand and makes the anklet sparkle in the moonlight.

Miranda frowns and shakes her head. "Idiot," she mutters.

I try not to smile at their ridiculousness and say, "Give her the baby, Cris." I set Miranda's coffee in front of her.

Cristina frowns at me and says, "But…"

"Giveherthebaby," I say quickly as I narrow my eyes at her. Cristina sighs and lifts Emma off her chest and passes her to Miranda.

Jacob giggles and says, "Dr. Bailey, are you married?" He leans back against Izzie's chest and she wraps her arms around his waist.

Miranda smiles and says, "Yes I am, Jacob." Emma lays her head down on her shoulder.

He grins and asks, "Do you jump on your bed?"

I choke as I take a sip of my coffee. Miranda shakes her head and answers, "No, Jake. I don't jump on my bed."

Jacob sighs and says, "Well, my mommy was jumping on the bed this morning so loud it woke me up."Izzie and Cristina laugh out loud. Lexie snorts. I can feel my ears burning from embarrassment. Miranda grins wickedly at me and says, "She did, huh?"

Jacob nods. "Do you know what else?"

I groan and say, "Jake, it's time for pajamas."

Miranda smiles at me and says, "Let the boy finish, Meredith. What else, Jacob?" She smirks as she rubs circles on Emma's back.

Jacob grins and says, "My mommy said I get to say 'SHIT' all the time when I grow up. Isn't that awesome?"

I place both hands over my face and groan.

Everyone laughs loudly. Lexie spits her coffee out into her napkin.

"Pajamas. Now, Jake, " I say firmly as I point to the door and give him my mean mommy look.

Jacob swallows and his eyes grow wide. He climbs off of Izzie's lap and walks cautiously past me into the house.

"Jumping on the bed, huh?" Cristina asks sarcastically as she wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"It was all Derek's fault," I mutter.

* * *

Derek and I stand in the foyer and hug all of our guests good-bye as they leave. I shut the door and let out an exhausted breath. Derek wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tight. "That was fun, but I'm glad they're gone," he says before kissing me softly.

I smile at him and grab his hand to lead him to the couch. "This place is a disaster," I say as I plop myself down onto the cushions.

Derek lays down on the couch and rests his head on my lap. He looks up at me and smiles. I run my fingers through his hair and smile back at him.

We hear Emma crying on the baby monitor and we both sigh. I push Derek's head off my lap and I stand up. "Save my spot," I tell him as I walk up the stairs to Emma's room. "Hey baby girl," I say as I walk in and see her crying in her crib. She stands up and reaches her arms out for me as I walk over to her. "Come here," I tell her as I lift her out of her bed. She wraps her hands around my neck and buries her face in my neck. "Too much excitement today, huh?" I carry her to the rocking chair and sit down. She straddles my waist with her legs and rests her face on my chest before sticking her thumb in her mouth. I brush the hair off her forehead and kiss her. "Want me to read to you?" I say as I grab her new Cinderella book off the nightstand next to me. She takes her thumb out of her mouth and touches the book. I open the cover and read the inscription. "To Emma Greyce Shepherd on your first birthday. Don't ever let anyone tell you fairytales aren't real…just ask your mom. Love, Dr. Bailey" My breath hitches in my throat as I finish reading Miranda's words. "She's right you know. There are definitely Prince Charmings out there, Emma. You just have to know where to look," I say softly as I begin to rock. I look down at Emma as her eyes begin to flutter shut.

"And just where should she look?" Derek asks softly as he leans against the doorway to Emma's room. He smiles at me as he watches me rock Emma.

I shrug my shoulders and whisper, "Well, I found my Prince Charming at a bar. I guess she could try that."

Derek shakes his head and walks into the room. He kneels down in front of me and runs his hand over Emma's dark curls. "No, she definitely needs to stay away from bars. Actually she just needs to stay away from boys altogether," he whispers.

I giggle and ask, "You think that will work?"

Derek nods and smiles at Emma's sleeping face. "Yeah…she doesn't need boys. At least until she's thirty five," he says softly before kissing her gently on the cheek. "Happy birthday, Princess," he whispers into her ear. He looks up at me and I smile. I run my hand across his cheek and catch a tear as it escapes from his sad eyes.

"Derek," I say as I read his expression. "She can't stay a baby forever." He leans his cheek into my hand.

He nods and says, "I know, but I need her to always be my little girl." He places his hand on her back and rubs a small circle.

My breath catches in my throat as I watch him kiss Emma's cheek again. "I love you," I tell him as he looks up at me through his tear-filled eyes.

He stands up and places both hands on the arms of the rocking chair. He leans his face to mine and kisses me gently. "I love you, too, Meredith. Thank you for giving me my little girl."

**Thanks for reading! Please review as it makes my inbox a very happy place.**


	17. Green and Pink

**Sorry this has taken so long to update. I've had a serious case of the flu for the past few weeks. Thank you for being patient with me! Also, thanks to everyone who left comments for the last chapter. You make my day!**

I press my face into Derek's chest and groan as the alarm clock starts to go off. He reaches across me and turns off the offending noise before rewrapping his arms around my body. Derek presses his lips onto my forehead and sighs. "I have to get up," he whispers against the top of my head.

I press my body closer to his and moan. "Nooooo. You have to stay in bed and keep me warm," I mumble. I hook my leg around his and bury my face into his t-shirt. I curl my arms in front of my body and let Derek hug me tight against his chest. "Call in sick," I croak softly into the darkness.

Derek sighs again and runs his hands up and down my back. "I can't. I have surgery in two hours," he whispers.

I smirk to myself and then climb on top of him. My fingers tangle in his wild morning hair as I straddle his body with my legs. I rub my crotch against his morning stiffness and press my lips to his neck. "You can be late then. I'm freezing. Warm me up," I say against his skin before kissing a trail along his jawbone.

Derek laughs and reaches down to pull the covers up over my body. His arms hold me tightly against his body. "I can be late," he agrees before capturing my lips with his in a gentle kiss.

We both sigh in frustration when we hear Jacob knocking on our bedroom door. "Your son is a cockblocker," Derek says grumpily.

I giggle and smack him on the arm before rolling off of his warm body. "Derek Shepherd! Don't call him that!" I say through my laughter. I pull the blanket up to my chin and close my eyes. "Are you making me breakfast before you leave?" I ask timidly.

Derek snorts as he climbs out of bed. "Sure, Sweetheart. Anything else you want me to do before I go perform brain surgery? Want me to wash your car? Rub your feet?" he says sarcastically as he walks over to the door to let Jacob in. He flips the light on.

"Ooo, a foot rub would be amazing," I tease as I roll over and watch him dig through the closet for his clothes. I stick my foot out of the covers and wiggle my toes at him. He smirks and winks at me as he walks into the bathroom.

"Morning, Mommy!" Jacob shouts as he pads his bare feet across the room and crawls into bed next to me.

I smile at him and tuck him under the covers with me. "Morning, Jake. Cuddle with me. I'm freezing."

Jacob giggles and wraps his arms around my neck. He scans my face with his big blue eyes and smiles. "Guess what?" he asks me with a twinkle in his eyes.

I raise my eyebrows at him and reply," What?"

He shakes his head slightly at me and runs his fingers along my cheek. "I was watching t.v. downstairs when you were sleeping." He keeps studying my face intently.

I frown. "You were?" I ask as I wonder why he's looking at me so seriously.

Jacob suddenly sits upright and climbs on top of me. His eyes grow wide and he smiles excitedly. "Yes! And you know what I saw on t.v.?"

I giggle as I watch him struggle to contain his excitement. "What?" I ask.

He takes a deep breath in and says, "There was this stuff on t.v. just for girls." He begins to flail his hands around as he speaks. "Guess what?! It makes you look ten years younger!" He holds his hands out in front of him and waits for me to get really excited. His face freezes with an expectant smile.

I try not to laugh. "Ten years younger?"

Jacob grins and nods his head. "Yup. You want some of that stuff, Mommy? It's only for girls. And it has this blue thing that you rub on your face and it makes your skin look all better. They showed it on the t.v. Do you want some? You really will look ten years younger." He puts his hands on his hips as he sits straddling my waist.

I'm not sure at this point if I should be offended or not. I raise my eyebrows at him and giggle at his honest expression. "Um. Ok. What is it called? Wait…do I need to look ten years younger?" I ask with a straight face.

Jacob folds his arms in front of his chest and looks down at me. He shrugs his shoulders. "I guess so," he says sweetly. He rolls himself off of me and lays back down. "But I forgot what it was called." He puts his hand on his forehead and exhales dramatically.

I pretend to pout. "Rats. What am I going to do now? I look old." I say through my puckered out bottom lip.

Jacob giggles at me and pushes on my lip with this fingers. "You don't look old, Mommy! You look pretty!" He takes his hands and brushes my hair off of my face.

I smile at him and say, "But you said I needed to look ten years younger. That means I look old."

Jacob wrinkles his nose up and says, "That's just what the man on the t.v. said, Mommy. I think you're the prettiest mom in the whole wide world."

"Thanks, Jake," I say as my heart melts a little.

"Even if you have wrinkles when you smile," he adds as he runs his fingers across my forehead.

"You should have stopped while you were ahead, Jake," I mutter before giggling.

* * *

I carry Emma downstairs and enter the kitchen. "That smells amazing. What are you cooking?" I ask as I walk over to the counter where Derek is preparing breakfast.

He bends toward me and kisses me quickly on the lips, and then kisses Emma's cheek. "Banana pancakes. Special request from Miss Emma this morning," he says as he winks at me.

I quirk my eyebrow at him. "Really?" I ask sarcastically. "Emma actually said 'Daddy, cook me some banana pancakes?'" I laugh when Emma yells "DaDa!" loudly and points to the stack of pancakes on the counter.

Derek smirks at me. I roll my eyes and carry Emma to her highchair and buckle her in. Derek places a plate of chopped up pancakes on Emma's tray. She sticks both hands in the sticky food and grins at him. "That's it, Princess. Get all sticky for Mommy this morning," he says as he watches her shove two handfuls of pancakes into her mouth at the same time.

Jacob runs into the kitchen and jumps up onto his chair at the table. "Hi, Daddy!" he says as he picks up his glass of orange juice. He takes a big gulp and then lets out a loud belch. His hand flies over his mouth. "Excuse me," he says softly with a giggle. "Did you tell Daddy about that stuff?" he asks me.

I sigh and shake my head. I take a sip of my coffee and groan in anticipation of the looming conversation.

"What stuff?" Derek asks as he places plates of pancakes in front of Jacob and me. He walks back over to the counter and grabs his own plate of food before returning to the table.

Jacob shoves a bite of pancake into his mouth and says while chewing, "Tell him, Mommy!" He points his finger at me.

I giggle and shake my head at Jacob. Derek's eyes sparkle as he watches me squirm in my seat. "Apparently, your son has found the cure to aging. He's been watching infomercials again," I mutter.

Derek smiles at me. "Really? The cure to aging, huh?"

Jacob swallows his bite of food and says, "Yeah, Daddy! There's this stuff that can make Mommy look ten years younger! Isn't that so awesome?" He stabs another bite of pancake and shoves it into his mouth.

Derek laughs and runs his hand across his stubbly cheek. "Ah…I'm going to remain silent on that one."

I kick him hard under the table. He grimaces and sucks in a breath. "I mean, Mommy looks beautiful already, Jacob. She doesn't need to look ten years younger," he says as he winks at me.

* * *

"So, we'll meet you at the hospital and go to the mall together?" I ask as I walk Derek to the front door.

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls my body against his. "Mmmhmm," he says as he presses his face into my neck and hugs me.

I tangle my hands in his hair and giggle. "What are you doing?" I ask as he begins to kiss his way under my neck and below my earlobe.

"Kissing my sexy wife," he whispers before his trail of kisses moves up my jaw and lands on my mouth.

I smile through our kiss as it lingers for a long moment. He pulls away slightly and grins at me. "Hmm...you think I'm sexy even though I look incredibly old?" I ask sarcastically as I rest my hands on his cheeks. Derek starts to speak and I interrupt by saying, "Think carefully how you choose to answer this."

Derek laughs and kisses me quickly and says, "I think my wife is sexy. Period. She's the most beautiful woman in the whole entire world." He kisses me again quickly.

I shake my head at him and roll my eyes. "You sound just like your son. Did you teach him to say that?" I ask flatly.

Derek smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders. "Maybe," he says softly. He kisses me again and then reaches down to pick up his briefcase. "See you after naps."

* * *

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Jacob asks me as he watches me fill a pot with water.

I glare at him and say, "I'm boiling water, Jacob. I think I can handle that." I carry the pot to the stove and turn on the flame.

"Well, aren't you supposed to put the eggs in?" he asks as he folds his arms in front of his chest.

I start to answer him and then suck in a breath. "Uh…" I mutter. I walk over to the phone and call Izzie for egg-boiling instructions.

* * *

Emma leans her back into my chest while I begin to read another book from the stack to her. "Brown Bear, Brown Bear…" I read as she pounds on the page with her fist.

Jacob runs into the living room and says loudly, "Mommy, there's a weird noise coming from the kitchen!"

I slam Emma's book shut and say, "Crap! The eggs!" I set Emma down on the carpet and hurry into the kitchen. I turn the flame off on the stove and peer into the sizzling pot. "Great," I mutter as I look at the exploded eggs.

I laugh as I look at Jacob's disapproving expression. He shakes his head at me. "Mommy, you blew up the eggs again, didn't you?" he says flatly.

"You can not tell Daddy, got it?" I say with a glare. "Get your shoes on. We have to go get some more eggs."

"Do you think they have some that are already cooked this time?" he asks. He looks like he's going to cry.

I sigh. "Yeah, they have eggs for the culinary challenged. I'll get those…even though it's incredibly embarrassing on my part. Maybe I should wear a bag over my head," I grumble.

Jacob giggles at me. "Mommy, you can't do that! You can't see where you're driving," he explains. He looks at me like I've lost my mind.

"You know I can fix hearts with my bare hands, right?" I ask, suddenly feeling the need to remind my four year old that I'm not a completely incompetent moron.

He sighs and nods. He says flatly, "Yes, Mommy. You're a genius. You told me that last time you blew up the eggs."

* * *

"Cool! Look at this one!" Jacob shouts as he pulls a green egg out of his cup. He holds it up so I can look at it.

"Looks great, Jacob. Don't you want to try another color?" I ask as I watch him drop another egg into the green dye.

He shakes his head at me. "Nope. Green is the best. That way they get lost in the grass and get all stinky cuz we won't be able to find them till it snows next year," he explains as he swirls the egg around in the cup.

I laugh at him as he adds his green egg to the two and a half dozen green ones he's already dyed. "Whoa, Em. Not so hard. You're breaking the shell," I say as Emma bounces up and down in my lap. She drops her egg into the cup of pink dye and then picks it back up. She drops it again and scoops it back out. "So, looks like we're going to have thirty five green eggs and one extremely pink one," I say to nobody in particular.

Jacob quickly finishes dying the rest of his eggs and shouts, "Finished! Can we go see Daddy now?"

I look at his green hands and point to the sink. "Wash your hands and then we can leave," I reply. I pry the pink shattered egg out of Emma's hand and set it down on the newspaper next to Jacob's green egg collection.

"Mommy, my hands are still green! Awesome! I look like the Hulk!" Jacob shouts as he holds his hands up in the air for me to inspect.

"What?" I ask as I try not to panic. "Did you use soap?" I groan as Jacob nods his head 'yes'. I look down at Emma's neon pink hands and sigh. "Perfect," I mutter. I sit Emma down on the edge of the sink and try to wash the dye off of her hands. It doesn't work. "Well, this should be a great picture with the Easter Bunny," I grumble.

* * *

Derek and Lexie smirk at me as I walk up to the nurses' station where they are loitering. "What?" I ask as I pass Emma off to Lexie.

She laughs and kisses Emma on the cheek. "Nice hands, Emma. They go really well with your dress," she says sarcastically.

Derek laughs and wraps his arm around my waist. He kisses me on the forehead and then says, "So I'm assuming the egg dying is finished?"

I glare playfully and say, "The box said nothing about this crap not coming off of children's skin. I would have made them wear surgical gloves." I giggle as Jacob holds his green hands up proudly for Derek to look at.

"I look like the Hulk, Daddy!" Jacob says through his huge smile.

"I can see that, Jake," Derek says. He sucks in a breath and says, "Jake, why don't you and Emma go get some ice cream with Aunt Lexie in the cafeteria. I need to talk to Mommy."

My smile fades as I look at Derek's nervous expression.

"Come on, Jacob," Lexie says as she grabs his green hand. She gives me a small smile as she readjusts Emma on her hip. "We can get a double scoop sundae and split it." Jacob drops her hand and runs ahead of her to the elevator to push the button.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" I ask as Derek turns to face me.

He shrugs his shoulders and offers me a reassuring smile. "Come on. Let's go into my office," he says as he tangles his fingers with mine. He leads me down the hall to his office and shuts the door behind us.

I plop myself down on his couch and fold my arms in front of my chest. Derek sits down next to me and sighs. "So…" I say as I wait for him to unload whatever bad news he has on me.

"So…" he says nervously. He takes in a deep breath and exhales. "First, I have to tell you this wasn't my idea. I have nothing to do with it."

I groan.

He smiles slightly at me and runs his hand down my cheek. "I have to go out of town again," he says apologetically.

"When?" I ask as I try not to look disappointed.

"Wednesday. There's a conference in New York that Richard has scheduled me to speak at," he explains.

I nod and offer him a small smile.

"You're not saying anything," he says after a long awkward silence.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "What do you want me to say?"

Derek sighs and says, "I don't know. That's it's ok that I'm leaving for the fourth time in three months?"

I shake my head and say, "Well, I can't say that because it's not ok." I bite my bottom lip nervously. "You know it's not ok, so don't ask me to lie to you. It's not ok, Derek. But I'm assuming you don't have a choice, right?"

Derek nods. "Right."

I close my eyes and lean my head back onto the couch. "That's what I thought," I mutter.

"I want you to come to New York with me," he says quietly.

I open my eyes and quirk an eyebrow at him. "Right. Because I can just take off of work with no notice. I'm sure Jacob can handle taking care of Emma while we're gone for five days," I say sarcastically.

Derek sighs. "Not for the whole time, Meredith. I know you can't come with me Wednesday. But you can fly out Saturday morning. We can spend the weekend in New York together. Just the two of us. We need some time alone, and you need to unwind a little. You've been really stressed out lately about starting your fellowship and the whole baby making idea. Come away with me, Meredith. Please." He runs his hand down my cheek and pleads silently with his piercing blue eyes.

My heart starts to race at the thought of being able to spend a weekend alone with my husband and no responsibilities. I smile back at him. "Just the two of us?"

He nods and brings his face close to mine. "Yes," he whispers.

"What about the kids?" I whisper back as he brings his lips dangerously close to mine.

"Lexie said she'll keep them. All weekend," he whispers against my mouth.

"Sounds like you've got it all planned out," I whisper through a smile. I grab his shirt with my hands and pull his body closer to me.

"I just need you to say 'yes'," he whispers.

I take a deep breath in and exhale softly. "Yes," I whisper. "I'll come away with you."

* * *

We walk into the mall and locate the Easter Bunny pavilion. Jacob runs up to the back of the line and turns to smile at Derek. "There's the Easter Bunny, Emma!" he shouts as he points to the overgrown rodent sitting among a gaudy fake flower display. Emma looks at the bunny and giggles.

We stand in line for the next thirty minutes, and I smile to myself at how well the kids are behaving. We take a few more steps forward as the next family enters the Easter village.

"I have to pee!" Jacob suddenly announces.

Derek and I groan. "Jacob, we're next. We can't get out of line. You're going to have to hold it," Derek says as we watch him start squirming uncomfortably.

Jacob starts hopping up and down.

"He's not going to make it," I say quietly as Jacob crosses his legs and holds his hands over his crotch. "Just take him, Derek. I'll stay in line with Emma."

Derek hands me Emma, scoops Jacob up, and hurries out of the line in search of a bathroom.

I let three families cut in front of me as I wait for them to come back. "Finally," I mutter as Derek walks back up in the line.

"We ran into Izzie. Jake had to tell her all about the egg dying experience," Derek explains. "So, you blew up the eggs again, huh?" he teases as he winks at me.

I snort and say, "Jake! You said you wouldn't tell Daddy."

Jacob shrugs his shoulders and says, "I didn't. I told Izzie." He smiles at me and then says, "It's our turn!" He grabs my hand and pulls me towards the big bunny.

The freakishly large white rabbit waves at Jacob and motions for him to sit on his lap. Jacob jumps up and smiles. The bunny waves to Emma and she clutches her fingers into my hair. She looks at me and her bottom lip begins to quiver. "Oh, crap," I mutter.

Derek takes Emma from my arms and I detangle her fingers from my hair. He hands our daughter over to the rodent and backs slowly away.

Emma tilts her head up and looks at the bunny. She turns her face to me and screams. Tears roll down her face and she holds her bright pink hands out to me. A flash goes off and I can't help but laugh at the thought of what that picture will look like.

I walk over to Emma and rescue her from the fuzzy nightmare. She buries her face in my chest and cries. I carry her to a bench outside the Easter village and rub circles on her back with my hand. She shoves her thumb in her mouth and sniffles against my shirt.

Derek waits for Jacob to grab a pinwheel from the bunny and then he pays for the photograph. He walks over to the bench and sits down next to me. "This will go perfect with the Santa picture from Hell," he says sarcastically as he holds the picture out for me to inspect.

I giggle as I look at the picture of poor Emma's red horror stricken face and the kids' green and pink hands.

* * *

"Jake, it's bedtime. Stop clowning around and get in bed," I say sternly. I sit down on the edge of his bed and yawn.

"I'm not clowning around, Mommy. I'm trying to show you Panda's new trick," he explains. He sits cross-legged on the floor and tries to snap his fingers. "He's supposed to bark when I snap at him, only I don't know how to snap." He tries to snap his fingers again and shrugs his shoulders.

I smile and say, "So if I snap my fingers, Panda will bark?" Jacob jumps up and sits next to me on the bed.

"Yes! Mommy, snap!" he says excitedly. He sits up on his knees and claps his hands together. Panda runs over to the bed and looks up at us.

I snap my fingers. Panda barks.

I raise my eyebrows and say, "Seriously?"

Jacob grins and says, "Seriously, Mommy. Panda is a genius. I bet he can even boil eggs without blowing them up."

I glare playfully and say, "Watch it, mister."

Jacob giggles. I snap my fingers again and Panda barks. "Cool trick, Jacob," I tell him. "Now, get in bed. It's late."

Jacob crawls up to his pillow and scoots under the covers. "Goodnight, Mommy," he says.

I stand up and lean over to kiss his forehead. "Goodnight, Jacob. Sweet dreams," I say before kissing him quickly on the lips.

I pick up Panda and lay him next to Jacob. I snap my fingers. Panda barks. "Just checking," I say when Jacob scrunches up his forehead at me.

* * *

I take a quick shower and then crawl into bed with Derek. I cuddle up next to him and wrap my arms around his neck. His hands find my waist and he pulls me closer to him. "Mmm, you smell good," he says as he sticks his nose in my wet hair.

I tilt my head up and press my lips to his. He kisses me softly over and over again. "Is the door locked?" I ask as Derek's hands roam under my t-shirt.

He nods his response and rolls on top of me. His fingers play with the hem of my shirt, and he pulls it up over my head and tosses it onto the floor. He kisses me firmly and lets his soft hands explore my naked torso.

We both groan when we hear Emma crying through the baby monitor.

"Your daughter is a cockblocker," I mutter.

Derek buries his face in my neck and sighs. "We're never going to get pregnant at this rate," he grumbles. He climbs off of me and pulls on a pair of pajama pants. "She's probably having nightmares of that damn Easter bunny," he mutters as he unlocks the bedroom door and walks out.

I giggle to myself and then close my eyes. I drift off to sleep.

"Are you sleeping?" Derek asks as he climbs back in bed and presses his body against mine.

"Mmmhmm…" I moan. I try to open my eyes but I'm too exhausted.

Derek sighs and kisses my forehead. "Goodnight, Sweetheart. I love you," he whispers as he wraps his arms around me.

"Love you," I reply against his chest.

**Ok, so if any of you know the name of the magic stuff that makes you look ten years younger, please let me know. According to my four-year old, I need it. Oh, and eggs really will explode if you boil them so long all the water disappears. Just a warning! Have a great Easter everyone!**


	18. New York

**Thank you so much for all the generous reviews! Enjoy!**

I turn the hot water on and step into the shower. I sigh in appreciation at the feel of the scalding spray as it runs over my sleepy head. A smile creeps over my face in anticipation of what today holds in store for me. Derek. New York City. Alone.

I quickly finish showering and am suddenly completely invigorated, despite the fact that it's only three a.m. and I've gotten less than four hours of sleep. My heart races as I dry off and lose myself in thoughts of being alone with my husband for the weekend.

I wrap my towel around my body and then dry my hair straight as my mind continues to wander back to Derek. I miss him, even though he's only been gone since Wednesday. I miss him. I take in a deep breath to try to get rid of the fluttering in my stomach.

* * *

I walk downstairs in the dark to the kitchen and start a pot of coffee. "Shit!" I yell when I feel something touch my shoulder. I quickly turn around with wide eyes, and then sigh as I hold my hand over my heart. "Lexie! You scared me! What the heck are you doing?" I ask before taking a deep breath to regain control of my racing pulse.

Lexie grins sheepishly at me and whispers, "Sorry! I just wanted to tell you good-bye. And Steve wanted me to make absolutely sure you didn't want a ride to the airport."

I shake my head at her and whisper, "Why are you whispering?"

She shrugs her shoulders at me and whispers, "I don't want to wake up the kids."

I giggle at her and turn to grab a coffee cup. "Want some coffee? Or are you going back to bed?" I ask her as I fill my cup up.

Lexie sighs and says, "I'm going back to bed. It's like three-thirty." She smiles at me before saying, "Have fun, Meredith. You and Derek need this weekend away. And don't worry about the kids. I promise I'll take the best care possible of them. Plus, Steve is here, so he'll help me with whatever. Maybe he'll take Jacob fishing or something. Or we can go out for ice cream. Or the movies. Whatever Jacob wants to do. So seriously, don't worry at all. We'll be fine." She smiles at me again, and then raises her eyebrows at me. "What?" she asks innocently as she notices my own raised eyebrows.

I shake my head at her. "You really ramble. A lot." I take a quick sip of my black coffee and then put the cup down on the counter. I hold my arms out to Lexie. "Come on. Give me a hug. I know that's why you got up," I tell her.

She giggles at me and gives me a quick hug. "Have fun," she says softly before releasing me from her embrace.

"Thanks, Lex. For everything. I really, really appreciate you doing this for us," I tell her. I pick my cup of coffee up and nod my head to the kitchen door. "I'm going to go kiss the kids and then I'm leaving. Tell Steve I absolutely don't need a ride to the airport, even though I told him ten times last night. I'll call you later, ok?"

Lexie nods her head at me and smiles. "Ok. Have a good flight." She turns and walks towards the spare bedroom. I walk out of the kitchen and set my coffee cup down on the table in the foyer. I go upstairs and quietly open the door to Jacob's room.

Panda lifts his head up and perks his ears at me from his spot by Jacob's stomach. I smile and walk over to the bed, scratching the puppy under the chin. "Take care of Jake for me," I whisper. Panda yawns and lays his head back down between his front paws.

I lean forward and kiss Jacob on the forehead. I smile as he wraps his arm around Panda's back and lets out a little giggle in his sleep. My fingers brush against his cheek before I give him another soft kiss goodbye. My eyes mist up a little as I walk to his door and give a final glance back at my sleeping son.

I walk to Emma's bedroom and the door lets out a little creak as I open it. Emma stirs in her crib, and I hold my breath as I wait for her to lay still. I walk to her crib and peer down at her and smile as her thumb pops out of her mouth and her fist lands next to her cheek. My fingers run through her dark messy curls and I say, "Bye, baby girl." She smiles in her sleep and I place her little stuffed puppy against her stomach and pull her blanket up to her chest. I sigh and walk out of her room, and walk to my bedroom to collect my suitcase and bag.

* * *

My cell phone rings as I sit in my car in the dark, waiting for the ferry to make its way across the bay. "Morning," I say softly with a smile as my heart flutters a little.

"Morning," Derek answers. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't oversleep and miss your flight."

I smile mischievously and say, "Hmmm…actually, I am still in bed. What time is it?"

Derek pauses and says, "You're kidding, right?"

I giggle and reply, "Yes, baby. I'm on the ferry."

Derek lets out a deep breath into the phone and says, "Don't do that to me."

"Sorry. Forgive me?" I ask softly.

"Hmmm…I suppose you can make it up to me when you get here," he teases.

I smile and say, "I'll see what I can do." I close my eyes and lay my head back on my seat as I suddenly feel overwhelmingly tired.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Derek asks.

"Not really," I reply. "You?"

Derek sighs and says, "I can't sleep without you. You know that."

A smile creeps across my face and I say, "Well, we'll both sleep good tonight then."

Derek laughs. "No, afraid not. You better get some sleep on the plane because I don't plan on getting any sleep tonight with you in my bed."

"Hmmm…Dr. Shepherd. You have dirty in your voice," I say softly. I open my eyes as I feel the ferry coming to a slow halt. "Hey, the ferry's about to dock. I'll call you when my plane lands, ok?"

"Don't leave the airport without calling me, Meredith. Have a safe flight," Derek instructs. "I love you."

I smile into the phone and say, "I love you, too. See you soon."

* * *

I collect my suitcase from the baggage claim and sit down on a bench near the airport food court. My eyes quickly scan the eating establishments in search of someplace that serves ginger ale. I sigh as my cell phone vibrates in my pocket. "Hey," I answer with a raspy voice.

"Meredith? What's wrong?" Derek asks. I can hear the concern in his voice.

"Ugh. That was the flight from hell, Derek," I reply.

"Please tell me you didn't get airsick," he says.

"I got airsick. I spent half the flight in the bathroom. I'm trying to settle my stomach down before I jump in a cab," I tell him.

Derek exhales and says, "Crap. I'm sorry, baby. But the good news is.. you don't need a cab. There's a driver waiting for you down by the passenger pick-up area. He should have a sign."

I smile to myself and say, "Derek Shepherd, what did you do?"

He laughs and replies, "You really think I'm going to let my incredibly beautiful wife get in a cab alone in New York?"

I roll my eyes. I pick up my suitcase and bag and walk over to a vending machine and purchase a bottle of ginger ale. "So I'm assuming my driver knows where to take me?"

"He does," Derek says. "I'll be waiting for you in the hotel lobby."

I take a drink of my soda and then smile. "Sounds good. I'll see you in a bit," I tell him.

"Can't wait," he says softly. "Bye, Sweetheart."

"Bye," I reply. I flip my phone shut and shove it into my purse. I follow the signs in search of the passenger pick-up area. A giggle escapes my mouth as I see an elderly man uncomfortably holding a sign that reads, "The Incredibly Beautiful and Sexy Dr. Meredith Shepherd."

I walk over to the man and say through another giggle, "Hi, I'm Dr. Shepherd. I'm so sorry. Did my husband make you write that?"

The man smiles widely at me and says, "Yes ma'am. He did. He also made do this." He clears his throat and holds his hand over his heart. I can feel my ears burning with embarrassment as he begins singing the chorus of "Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera in a very loud baritone voice. A crowd begins to form a loose circle around us at people listen to my perfectly in-key serenade. I laugh and place my hand over my eyes as my driver hits the last note and holds it for what seems like an eternity. Applause breaks out as he ends his song and takes a bow. I shake my head and bite my bottom lip as the crowd begins to disperse. "Wow," I say as my driver walks to me and grabs my suitcase. "That was amazing."

He smiles widely at me and winks. "Thank you, my lady," he says sweetly. "And now, your Prince awaits you."

I groan and laugh. "Please tell me he didn't make you say that," I say through an apologetic smile.

He laughs and says, "No ma'am. I threw that one in all on my own."

* * *

My forehead narrows in confusion as the limo pulls up to The Pierre Hotel. "Um, I think you've brought me to the wrong hotel. My husband is staying at The Four Seasons," I say as the car comes to a stop. My breath hitches in my throat as I realize Derek has arranged for us to stay in the same hotel that we did on the first night of our honeymoon.

My driver turns and gives me a wink. "No ma'am. This is the right place," he tells me before opening his door and stepping out. He quickly walks around the curb and opens my door for me. He extends his hand and smiles at me. "My lady, your prince awaits," he says softly. I grab his hand and scoot off the seat as he helps me out of the car. He brings my hand to his lip and gives it a gentle kiss. "It's been a pleasure," he says as he gives me another wink. He releases my hand and walks to the trunk to remove my suitcase.

My breath catches in my throat as I spot Derek walking out of the hotel door toward me. He smiles widely at me and wraps his arms around my waist, picking me up and twirling me once around. He sets me down and says, "Hi, Beautiful." He runs the back of his hand down my cheek and smiles softly at me.

"Hi," I say lamely as the feel of his hand on my face takes my breath away. Derek grins at me and then leans his face to mine and kisses me gently as his thumb rests on my chin. He pulls his face away and I take a deep breath in to steady my racing heart.

"Sir, your lady's bags," my driver says from behind me.

Derek winks at me and takes a step forward. "Thank you, Charles," he says as he smiles widely at the elderly man and takes my bags from him. "She didn't give you too much trouble, did she?" he teases.

Charles grins and replies, "Only a little, Sir."

Derek shakes his head at me and smiles. He extends his hand to Charles and says, "I told you she was feisty. Thanks again, Charles."

Charles smiles and releases Derek's hand. "My pleasure, Sir," he says before turning and walking back to his limo.

I turn my body to Derek and say, "Well, you're certainly full of surprises today." I wrap my arms around his waist and pull myself close to him.

Derek wiggles his eyebrows and says, "You haven't seen anything yet, Sweetheart. Come on." He unhooks my hands from his waist and entwines his hand with mine.

"Derek Shepherd, what did you do?" I ask as he pulls me into the hotel.

He grins sheepishly at me and shrugs his shoulders. He motions with his head to a bellboy, who walks quickly to us. "Would you take these up to room 618?" Derek asks as he hands the man my bags and a generous tip.

He nods and takes the luggage from Derek and swiftly walks away. Derek turns to me and kisses me quickly on the lips. "There's someone here to see you," he says softly.

I raise my eyebrows at him and smile. He grabs my hand again and leads me into the c afé. I look around as we walk in, and I smile. "Carolyn?" I say as I spot Derek's mom sitting at a nearby table.

She looks up and stands, opening her arms to me. I drop Derek's hand and hug his mom tightly. "I had no idea you were going to be here," I say as we end our hug and pull away from each other.

"All part of my plan," Derek gloats. He smiles at us and motions for us to sit down. He sits next to me on the bench as his mom reclaims her chair across from us. He hands me a menu and says, "Do you feel up to eating?"

I groan and say, "Mmmm…Maybe something light. My stomach is still not happy with me."

Carolyn studies my face for a moment. "So Meredith, Derek tells me you'll be starting your fellowship in the fall. Are you excited?" she asks before taking a sip of her water.

I smile and say, "Yeah. I just found out Tuesday that I got accepted. I'm looking forward to it. I honestly didn't expect to get the spot." I place my hand on Derek's leg and lean my body against his slightly.

"Of course you got the spot," Derek says firmly. "You're the best surgeon Seattle Grace has seen in a long time. They'd have been crazy not to give it to you." He smiles at me and I return my gaze to my menu.

"You didn't think you deserve the spot, Meredith?" Carolyn asks.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "It's not that I don't deserve it. It's just that I was the only applicant with kids at home. I thought it would play a factor with me getting the spot, you know, since I limit my hours at the hospital."

Carolyn nods her head at me and smiles. "Well, I think what you're doing is amazing. Specializing in pediatric cardiothoracic surgery is something not a lot of people would choose to do. I'm proud of you, Meredith."

I return her smile and feel myself blushing. "Thanks, Carolyn."

Derek clears his throat and says, "I'll be right back. Restroom. Try not to miss me too much." He kisses me quickly on the cheek and stands up.

I roll my eyes playfully at him and watch as he walks away. "So, did Derek give you the pictures I sent?" I ask Carolyn.

She grins widely at me and laughs. "He did. The picture with the Easter Bunny was just precious. Poor little Emma. They're getting so big, Meredith," she says softly.

I sigh and say, "I know. You need to come for a visit. Soon. You won't believe how much Jacob has changed. His personality is enormous. And Emma's just a mess." I smile at her and then say, "What?" as I notice her expression.

Carolyn smiles slightly at me. "You're glowing," she says almost inaudibly.

My breath hitches in my throat and a small grin creeps across my face. "How do you…" I begin to say, but stop when I see Derek making his way back through the café. I shake my head slightly at Carolyn, and she nods in understanding.

Derek sits down and looks back and forth between his mom and I. "What did I miss?" he asks as he glares playfully at us.

We both shrug our shoulders and hide our faces in our menus.

* * *

"You're leaving already?" I ask as we finish our meal and Carolyn begins to stand up.

She smiles at me and says, "Yes. You two need to spend some time alone. And besides, I don't want to make you late."

I raise my eyebrow at Derek, and he says, "Ma! Surprise, remember?"

She shrugs her shoulders and says, "I didn't tell her anything, son. Relax."

Derek and I stand up and we all walk out of the café. Carolyn pulls me into a tight hug as we enter the lobby and whispers into my ear. "Take care of yourself, Meredith."

"I will," I say against her cheek. "Promise."

"Alright you two, that's enough," Derek says. He wraps his arms around his mother and gives her a long hug. "Love you, Ma," he says softly. She smiles at him through tear filled eyes as she pulls away.

"I love you, too. It's been so good to see you. Both of you," she says as she adjusts her purse on her shoulder. "Tell the kids their grandma says 'hi' and I'm coming to visit them soon."

Derek nods and wraps his arm around my waist. We both smile at her as we watch her walk away and exit the hotel.

I turn my body to his and pull him close to me. "So…what's this about a surprise?" I tease as I smile up at him.

He grins at me and wiggles his eyebrows. He reaches into his suit pocket and pulls out an envelope.

"What did you do, Derek?" I say breathlessly as I open the envelope and take out a pair of tickets to the Phantom of the Opera.

He smiles at me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "We didn't get to go last time we had tickets because Jacob got sick, remember?"

"I remember," I say softly. "Three years ago. We had to rush back to your mom's because he had a hundred and three fever. Thank you." I smile at him and blink to try to keep tears from forming in my eyes.

He kisses my forehead quickly and says, "You're welcome. Are you really surprised?"

I pull my face away from his and say, "Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugs his shoulders and says sheepishly, "I just thought you might have guessed given your airport serenade."

I giggle and bury my face in his chest. "I can't believe you made that poor old man do that, Derek." I look up at him and smile widely.

He laughs and kisses me gently on the lips. "I would have loved to seen your face. Were you blushing?"

I giggle again and roll my eyes. "Extremely," I admit. "But I loved it. He's a surprisingly good singer."

Derek smiles at me and grabs one of my hands with his. "Ready to go to the room? You look like you could use a nap before we go out tonight," he says softly.

I sigh and say, "A nap sounds wonderful. Only if you take one with me. I haven't slept at all without you to cuddle up with."

* * *

I undress down to my panties and bra and slip under the covers. A sigh escapes my mouth as I close my tired eyes.

Derek slips into bed next to me and places his arm around my waist. He kisses my cheek tenderly and then rests his head next to mine on my pillow. His hand caresses my bare stomach, and my heart begins to race at the feel of his touch.

I turn my face to him and smile. He smiles back at me. I turn my body to face his, and I wrap my arms around his waist. "Suddenly, I'm not very tired," I say against his lips before placing a long lingering kiss on his mouth. My hands move up his bare chest and rest on his cheeks as I kiss him over and over.

"Me either," he whispers as he breaks the kiss. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me on top of him. "I missed you," he says before kissing me gently.

I smile at him and say, "Me, too."

* * *

"What is this?" I ask as I wrap a towel around my body after my shower, and notice Derek has hung a plastic bag on the door hanger. He smiles at me from his spot in front of the sink as he combs his hair.

"A surprise," he says smugly. He drops the comb on the vanity and walks over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I thought you might like a new dress to go to the theater in." He smiles at me and then places a soft quick kiss on my lips.

"Thank you," I whisper against his mouth. I smile at him as he releases me and walks to the door.

"Can't wait to see you in it," he says with a wink. He walks out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

I smile as I grab the bag and remove the dress. My breath catches and I mutter, "Oh. Wow," to myself as I inspect the black spaghetti strap Ralph Lauren evening dress.

I take my time getting ready, and I finally emerge from the bathroom.

Derek looks up from his spot on the couch as I enter the living area of our suite. He places his hand over his heart and says, "Wow, Meredith. You look stunning." He stands up from the couch and walks over to me, running his finger down the length of my jaw. "You're beautiful. That dress looks amazing on you. And I can't wait to take it off of you later." He leans forward and kisses me softly, letting his finger wander down my jaw and along my neck.

I pull my face away from his and smile. "You don't look so bad yourself," I say as I let my eyes roam from his face to the floor, and back up again.

He wiggles his eyebrows at me and says, "Wait right here." He grins and walks past me into the bedroom. I hear his footsteps as he returns to me. "Close your eyes," he whispers from behind me.

I sigh and shake my head. "What did you do, Derek?" I close my eyes and exhale softly as I feel Derek place a necklace against my collarbone.

He lifts my hair and adjusts the necklace as he does the clasp. "Ok, open," he instructs.

I open my eyes and run my finger against the necklace. I blink rapidly to keep tears from spilling out as I look down at the diamond encrusted circle. "Derek…" I croak out.

"Do you like it?" he asks as he turns my body to face him. He runs his finger over the diamonds and studies my expression.

I nod and say, "Yes. I love it. Thank you." I kiss him quickly and then say, "I'm feeling kind of bad that I didn't get you anything though. All these surprises for me, and nothing for you."

Derek wiggles his eyebrows at me and says, "Hmmm…you gave me sex before our nap. And hopefully you'll give me some more sex when we get back later. That's all I need. You naked." He wraps his arms around my waist and smiles widely.

I giggle at him and shake my head. "Whatever you want, Dr. Shepherd. I'll give you whatever you want," I whisper against his lips.

* * *

Derek entwines my fingers with his and leads me to our seats in the theater.

"Wow. Third row orchestra. I guess this was worth waiting three years for," I say as we sit down.

Derek laughs and replies, "I hope so. I don't want you to be disappointed after such a long wait though." He brings my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it softly, and then moves a trail of kisses up the length of my arm, ending on my bare shoulder.

I smile at him and then begin to blush as he leans over and begins to whisper into my ear all the things he wants to do to me when we get back to the hotel room. My heart begins to race at his dirty confessions, and I take a deep breath in as I run my hand up his leg. I lean to his ear and whisper, "Dr. Shepherd. You better stop talking dirty like that. You're making my panties awfully wet."

I giggle as he inhales sharply and shakes his head at me with a naughty grin.

* * *

Derek looks at me like I'm crazy when I start laughing as "Music of the Night" begins to play. I put my hand over my mouth and shake my head at him. "Sorry," I whisper. "Airport memories."

* * *

"You're cold," Derek says as we walk casually along Broadway. He stops walking and takes his jacket off and wraps it around my shoulders. He places both hands on my face and looks intently into my eyes. "I love you," he says seriously.

I offer him a small smile and reply, "I know, Derek. I love you, too." He pulls my face to his and kisses me slowly and gently, letting his lips and tongue melt against mine as we stand oblivious to the busy New York street life around us.

My heart begins to race as he keeps kissing me over and over in the brisk night air. I push my hands against his chest and break the kiss. "We should go," I say breathlessly, "to the hotel." I run my tongue along my bottom lip as Derek devours me with his dark blue eyes.

"What about dinner? I wanted to take you someplace romantic. We have reservations," he says quietly as he runs his thumb against my cheek.

I smile and say, "We can order room service and eat naked in front of the fireplace in our suite. That's romantic." I bring my lips back to his and kiss him quickly.

He smiles through our kiss and then says, "You're thinking about all those dirty things I said to you in the theater, aren't you?"

I giggle and say, "Maybe."

* * *

"Hey, Jacob," I say into the phone as we return to our suite and call home. I smile at the sound of his voice as he begins to tell me all the things he did today.

"Mommy," Jacob begins, "Uncle Steve taked me fishing and I caughted six fish!"

"That's great, Jake," I reply. "Sounds like you're having fun."

"Mmhmm…and guess what else? Aunt Lexie let us eat ice cream with gummy worms and sprinkles and strawberries for dinner," he says. "And now we're going to stay up ALL night watching TV and pigging out on candy and soda. That's what Aunt Lexie said."

I giggle and roll my eyes. "Just be sure to tell her that sugar makes you extremely hyper, ok?"

Jacob laughs and says, "Mommy, what does that even mean?"

I smile and say, "Never mind. What's Emma doing?" I hear a loud thud as Jacob apparently drops the phone onto the floor.

"Emma! Mommy wants to talk to you!" Jacob yells in the background.

I hear something rustle, and then Lexie says, "Hey! Sorry! He just dropped the phone and ran upstairs."

I giggle and say, "I think he was trying to get Emma to talk to me. Sounds like everything is going ok?"

Lexie pauses and replies, "Yeah, except…well, I think Jacob is a little wired with sugar. He won't stop running everywhere. Seriously, he hasn't stopped running in two hours. It's kind of scary."

I shake my head and say, "Hmm…well, you fed him ice cream for dinner. Have fun with that, Lex. How's Em?"

Lexie sighs and says, "She just fell asleep on Steve's chest. They're cuddling on the couch snoring. It's actually kind of cute."

I smile as Derek sits down next to me on the couch. He places his face in the crook of my neck and begins letting his lips roam against my skin. I clear my throat and tangle my free hand in Derek's hair. "Ok, Lex. We're about to eat dinner. I'll call you before our flight leaves tomorrow." I try to stifle a moan as Derek bends his face lower and his lips plunge into my cleavage.

"Goodnight, Mer," she says. "Talk to you tomorrow."

Derek snatches the phone from my hand before I can say 'goodbye' and flips it shut. "You girls talk too much," he says as he tosses my phone onto the floor. He stands up and grins wickedly at me as he extends his hand to me.

I smile back at him as I grab his hand and stand up.

He wraps his arms around my waist and presses his lips onto my shoulder. His fingers stealthily move to my side and slowly unzip my dress. "Mmm…I've been waiting all night to get you out of this dress," he says against my skin as he kisses a slow wet trail along my chest. His fingers hook under the thin shoulder straps and he pulls it slowly off of me. It falls in a heap at my feet, and I stand in only my black lace panties in front of Derek.

He lifts his head from my chest and lets his gaze wander slowly from my feet to my eyes. "So beautiful," he whispers as he wraps his hands around my waist. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip and then kisses me firmly as he moves his hands up and down my spine.

My fingers go to work unbuttoning his blue dress shirt as he kisses me senseless, and I let my hands wander against his bare chest as I push his shirt off his body. Derek pulls his face away from mine and lifts me up off the ground.

I giggle and wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me into the bedroom and deposits me onto the bed.

I scoot my body up on the bed and smile as I watch Derek take his pants off and climb on top of me. He brings his lips to mine and kisses me tenderly. I push my hands against his chest and say, "OH! I almost forgot. I have something for you!" I push him again and wiggle out from underneath him.

He sighs in frustration as he watches me walk across the room to the closet. I flip the light on and then dig through my suitcase. I take a deep breath in and walk back to the bed.

Derek leans his back against the headboard and I climb on top of him, straddling his waist with my knees. "What's this?" he asks as I hand him a small package tied with a blue bow. "I thought you said you didn't get me anything."

I smile and shrug my shoulders. I bite my bottom lip nervously as I watch him untie the bow and take the lid off the box.

Derek's breath catches in his throat and he looks up at me. "Meredith," he says breathlessly as he drops the box on the bed next to him. "For real?"

I smile widely at him and blink to no avail to keep tears from forming. "For real," I confirm.

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me flush against his bare chest. "When did you find out?" he asks softly as his own tears form in his eyes. I raise my hand to his face and catch an escaped tear from his cheek.

"Last night after I talked to you," I tell him. "I haven't felt right all week, and I wanted to know before I got on the plane this morning so I could be prepared to get sick." I offer him a smile through my tears, and he laughs with joy.

"Wow," Derek says. He places his hands on my cheeks and brings my face to his before kissing me gently over and over again. "This is amazing," he says as he brushes his thumbs across my cheeks to dry my tears. "Wow."

I giggle at him and wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me tight against him and hugs me tight, letting his hands move softly up and down my back.

"Your mom knows," I whisper into his ear.

He pulls back and raises his eyebrows at me. "You told my mom before you told me?"

I laugh and say, "No, she just…knew. She has superpowers or something."

Derek smiles and nods his head. "She does. She probably noticed you were glowing."

I giggle and say, "Something like that."

Derek runs his hand down my back and says, "So…who else have you told? Lexie? Cristina? You had to have told somebody. You've known for 24 hours."

I bite my bottom lip before saying, "Well…I did tell Frank."

Derek narrows his eyebrows at me. "Frank. Who the hell is Frank," he says flatly.

I laugh and say sheepishly, "The old man I was sitting next to on the plane. I had to tell him. I kept stepping on his toes every time I had to go throw up."

Derek's smile fades away and he caresses my cheek in the palm of his hand. "How are you feeling? Do you have morning sickness already?"

I sigh softly and shrug my shoulders. "It's not bad…yet. Just some nausea. Nothing horrible," I reply. I lean my face into Derek's hand and close my eyes.

He moves his free hand to my stomach and rubs it gently. "Our baby is in here," he whispers.

I open my eyes and smile at him. "Yeah. It is," I say softly. "Pretty amazing, huh? Even the third time around?" I lean forward and rest my forehead against his.

Derek smiles and says, "It is, Meredith. I think I'm in shock."

I giggle at him and say, "Me, too."

He exhales slowly and says, "Thank you for my present. I love you."

I press my body tight against his again and hug him tightly. "I love you, too, Derek."

**Thanks for reading! I love hearing your thoughts. Please leave a comment!**


	19. Cracker

**Thank you so much for your patience. I hope you enjoy this little McFamily fluff update. It was fun to write. Enjoy! **

The alarm clock goes off and Derek and I both groan in unison. He reaches across my chest and turns the alarm off. "Mer, come on. Gotta wake up," he mumbles against my forehead as he wraps his arms around my waist.

I bury my face in his bare chest and exhale grumpily. "No," I croak out. I press my eyelids closed and relish the feel of Derek's hands running up and down my bare spine as he snakes his hands under my t-shirt. "Mmm…that feels good," I whisper.

Derek places a kiss on top of my head as he continues rubbing his warm hands up and down my back. "Mer. Work. Come on. Wake up," he coaches softly.

I take in a deep breath and crack my eyes open. "This sucks," I mutter softly. I wrap my hands around his waist and press my body tightly against his.

"I know. It sucks," he whispers as he rolls on top of me. His lips find my neck and he blazes a hot wet trail against my collarbone.

I sigh and tangle my hands in his hair. "Can't I just call in sick?" I say into the darkness as Derek continues kissing his way up to my cheek. He brings his mouth to mine and kisses me tenderly. "Is that a 'yes'?" I ask with a sleepy smile against his lips.

Derek grins as he pulls his face slightly away from mine. "Mmm…probably not a great idea. You're only working half a day anyway, Sweetheart," he says as he brushes the hair off my forehead. He presses a soft quick kiss on my nose and climbs off of me. "Come on," he says as he crawls out of bed and extends his hand to me. "I'll start your shower for you."

I sigh and grab his hand in mine and sit up. "Fine," I mutter. "I'll go to work. Even though I'm all pregnant and nauseous and completely exhausted." I pout pathetically as I look up at him.

Derek tries not to smile as he pulls me off the bed and hugs me tightly against his chest. "I'm sorry, Mer. I know you feel crappy. You'll feel better after your shower, ok?" he encourages. He kisses me quickly on the lips and then walks to the bathroom to start my shower.

I follow him into the bathroom and watch as he turns on the hot water. "It would make me feel better if you washed my hair for me," I suggest as I wrap my hands around his stomach and press my chest against his back.

We both sigh as we hear Jacob pounding on our bedroom door.

"Never mind," I mutter as Derek turns to look at me. I pout pathetically again.

Derek laughs and shakes his head at me. He kisses me quickly and says, "I'm sorry, Mer. I'll get your breakfast ready, ok?" He kisses me again and walks out of the bathroom.

I sigh tiredly to myself as I take my clothes off and climb into the shower alone.

* * *

I walk into Emma's bedroom and smile at her as she jabbers away in her crib. "Hey, baby girl," I say softly as I hook my hands under her armpits and pick her up.

She smiles at me and whispers, "Hi." She tangles her fingers in my hair and holds on tightly to a strand of it while I carry her to the changing table. I lay her down and pry her little fingers out of my hair.

Emma giggles as I unzip her baby blue pajamas and quickly change her diaper.

"You're in a good mood this morning," I tell her as I zip her pajamas back up. "Can you tell Mommy your secret to waking up happy?" I pick her up and turn the light switch off as I carry her out of her room. I walk down the hall and glance quickly in Jacob's bedroom as I walk past his door. I stop in my tracks and take a step backwards.

My eyes open wide in shock as I look into his bedroom. "Jacob. Christopher. Shepherd! Get up here right now!" I yell toward the staircase. I take a deep breath and mentally count to ten to calm down.

"Hi, Mommy!" Jacob says as he runs up the stairs. He smiles innocently at me.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "What happened in your room?" I ask as I shift Emma to my other hip. She grabs a strand of my hair and yanks it before sticking it in her mouth. "Gross, Em," I mutter as I pull my wet hair away from her.

Jacob shrugs his shoulders at me and says, "What?"

I frown and reply, "What? Really?"

"Huh?" he asks as he scrunches up his freckled covered nose.

I sigh and grab his arm and lead him to his bedroom. I let go of his arm and point my finger to his wall, which is covered in green, purple, and red marker circles. "That, Jacob. What is that?" I ask exasperatedly.

Jacob places his hand over his forehead. "Oh. That," he says. He shrugs his shoulders at me. "It's a picture of a tornado."

"A tornado," I say flatly.

"Yes," Jacob says. "You know, those things that move around like this," he explains as he whips his arm wildly around as fast as he can make it go.

I exhale quickly and say, "I know what a tornado is, Jacob. Why did you draw one on your wall?"

He shakes his head at me and says, "I didn't do it."

"You didn't do it?"

"Nope."

"You didn't draw a tornado on your wall."

"Nope."

"There's a tornado on your wall, Jacob."

"Yep."

"But you didn't draw it."

"Nope."

"Are you going to tell me Emma did it?"

"Nope."

"Daddy?"

"Nope."

"Panda?"

Jacob giggles. "Mommy! Panda doesn't have hands! He didn't do it!"

I exhale loudly. "It wasn't you. Or Daddy. Or Emma. Or Panda."

"Nope."

"Jake."

"What?"

"Who drew the tornado on your wall."

"It was Cracker," he says as he tickles the bottom of Emma's foot. Emma squeals and kicks her leg at him to get him to stop.

"Cracker?"

"Yep."

"Who is Cracker?" I ask as I shift Emma again to my other hip.

Jacob takes in a deep breath and says, "Cracker is an invisible person. He lives in the bathroom sink with the hairballs."

I pause for a long moment while I study Jacob's serious expression. "Show me your hands."

Jacob holds his hands in front of his face and shrugs his shoulders as he turns his palms towards me.

"Why are your hands covered in marker?" I ask him.

"Cracker drew on me," he explains. "He's totally naughty." Jacob drops his hands to his side and offers me a little smile.

"Ok. You're telling me an invisible person, who lives in our bathroom sink with the hairballs, came into your room and drew a tornado on your wall, and then colored all over your hands?" I ask. Emma grabs my hair again and gets her fingers tangled in it.

"Yep. And he also did this," Jacob says as he lifts his t-shirt up, exposing his stomach, which is completely covered in green and red marker. "Look at my belly button." Jacob points his finger to his purple belly button. "I told you he was naughty."

I bite my bottom lip as I unsuccessfully attempt to form a word.

Jacob pulls his shirt back down and turns and runs down the stairs.

I look at Emma, and she smiles at me as she tugs on my hair with both hands. "Did that seriously just happen?" I ask her.

* * *

I buckle Emma into her highchair and walk to the cabinet to grab the Cheerios. "No Cheerios?" I ask Derek as I rummage through the cereal boxes.

He groans and shakes his head at me. "No. I'm going to have to go to the store this morning. She'll eat Kix," he says as he grabs the box and hands it to me. He offers me a small smile and says, "What do you want? I made French toast."

I shake my head and say, "Ugh. No. Maybe just some fruit."

I carry the box of Kix to the table and pour some in front of Emma.

Emma sticks her bottom lip out and pouts pathetically at me.

"Sorry, Em. You ate all the Cheerios," I explain as I pick a piece of cereal up and hand it to her.

She takes it from my hand and smashes it in her fingers as she continues pouting.

Jacob runs into the kitchen and jumps up into his chair. "What's for breakfast?" he asks.

"French toast or Kix," Derek tells him.

Jacob scrunches up his nose and says, "Yuck. Kix taste like poop." He sighs and places his hand over his forehead. "Can I have some puzghetti?"

Derek snorts and sets a plate of French toast in front of Jacob. "No. You can not have spaghetti for breakfast. And don't talk about poop at the table. Eat your French toast, Jacob."

Jacob exhales grumpily and pouts as he crosses his arms across his chest.

I giggle at Emma and Jake's identical pouty expressions.

I pout at Derek as he places a bowl of red grapes in front of me.

"What are you pouting about?" he asks as he grins at me.

I try not to smile as I say, "I wanted strawberries."

* * *

I finish scrubbing and rinsing my hands and forearms and walk into the OR. I take a deep breath of the cold sterile air in as the nurse helps me put on my gloves. "Ready?" I ask Cristina as I walk to the operating table and stand across from her.

"Always," she says as she extends her hand and requests a scalpel from the scrub nurse.

The smell of blood wafts up through my surgical mask as Cristina makes her incision, and I shake my head quickly. I take a deep breath in through my mouth and try to settle my stomach as a sudden wave of nausea hits me.

"Meredith? Are you ok?" Cristina asks as she looks up from our patient.

I nod my head and say, "Yeah. The baby's not too fond of blood, though." I take another deep breath in and exhale slowly. "Crap," I mutter to myself as the nausea gets worse.

* * *

"Here," Cristina says as she sets a can of ginger ale on the table in front of me. She smiles widely at me as I lift my head off the table and glare at her.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I ask accusingly as I sit up and take a drink of the soda.

Cristina raises her eyebrows at me and replies through her smile, "Have I made fun of you yet?" She sits down next to me and takes the lid off of her salad.

I take another sip and say, "No." I watch her shove a huge bite of salad into her mouth. "Why haven't you made fun of me yet?" I ask her.

Cristina chomps on her salad and says with her mouthful, "Because you look like shit. You have baby drool or something in your hair. And you puked during surgery. I feel bad making fun of you."

I narrow my eyes at her. "So what…you pity me? Is that it? You feel bad for me because I'm all big and pregnant and crappy looking, and now you're going to act all weird around me so you don't make the big fat pregnant girl cry?"

Cristina slowly finishes chewing her food and swallows it. "Yep," she replies with a fake smile.

I giggle and say, "I hate you." I lay my head back down on the table and sigh.

"What's with her?" Alex says as he drops his tray down on the table next to my head. He sits down and scoots his chair up to the table.

"She almost vomited in an open chest cavity this morning," Cristina explains.

I lift my head up and glare at her. "Cristina!" I say angrily.

"Sweet," Alex says. "The kid doesn't like the smell of blood? Burning skin? Which one?" he teases as he shoves a huge bite of sandwich into his mouth.

I scrunch my nose up and shake my head at him. "Blood. Definitely blood," I say queasily before laying my head back down on the lunch table. "Can we talk about something else?" I groan.

"Mmm…" Cristina says with her mouthful of salad. "There's an invisible person living in Meredith's sink." She points at me with her fork. I glare up at her without lifting my head off the table.

Alex snorts. I lift my head up and say, "Really? I'm the only thing we can talk about today?" I sit up and pout.

Cristina shrugs her shoulders. "You're interesting," she explains. "And the invisible person thing was funny. Tell Alex."

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Fine. Jacob says an invisible person lives in our bathroom sink with the hairballs. End of story."

Alex nods his head and shoves another bite of sandwich into his mouth. "I had an invisible friend when I was a kid…Matty…He was from Switzerland. He was really bad. Did all kinds of bad shit. It was awesome." He smirks at me as he continues chewing.

"Do I even want to know?" I ask.

Alex grins at me. "One time he poured a ton of lime Jell-O mix into the toilet to see how much it would take to turn the toilet water into green slime."

I groan and say, "Oh god."

Cristina laughs and says, "How much?"

"Thirty three boxes," Alex replies. He shoves the remaining half of his sandwich into his mouth.

Cristina and I look at each other and then at Alex.

"Your mom had thirty three boxes of lime Jell-O in the pantry?" I ask with a smirk as I raise my eyebrows at him.

He narrows his eyes at me playfully and says, "I liked lime Jell-O, ok?"

"Hey. What's up?" Izzie asks as she drops her tray onto the table next to Alex.

"Mer puked during surgery," Alex says with a grin. "And Jake says there's an invisible person living in her bathroom sink with the hairballs."

I giggle and shake my head at him.

Izzie unwraps her sandwich and says, "Jake has an invisible friend? Cool. I used to have one of those. Francis. She lived in my underwear drawer." She scrunches up her forehead in thought. "And she used to cut all the hair off of my Barbie dolls. And she always licked the frosting off my chocolate cupcakes. It made me so mad. God! I hated her!" She slams her hand down onto the table and then shrugs her shoulders. She takes a big bite of her sandwich and then says with her mouthful, "What?" as she notices everyone staring at her.

We all shake our heads at her ridiculousness.

Suddenly, the smell of Izzie's sandwich infiltrates my nose and my stomach churns. "Oh. God. What the hell are you eating?" I groan as I cover my face with my hands.

Izzie shrugs her shoulders and says, "What? Tuna fish."

I inhale deeply through my covered mouth.

Cristina groans and picks up her drink. "Crap. She's gonna blow!" she says loudly as she stands up and runs from the table. Izzie and Alex grab their trays and follow her lead as she exits the cafeteria.

* * *

"Hey," I say as I walk up to the porch and sit next to Derek on the swing.

"Hey," he answers. He wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me on the forehead as I cuddle up next to him.

"Where are the kids?" I ask before yawning.

"Just put them down for their naps," he says softly. He kicks his feet on the ground and sets the swing in motion.

"Ugh…bad idea," I say as I place my feet on the ground and make the swing stop moving.

"Stomach again?" Derek asks.

I look up at him and roll my eyes. "I puked during surgery. It was completely embarrassing," I mutter. I bury my face in his t-shirt and take a deep breath.

"God. I'm sorry, Sweetheart," Derek says as he presses his lips on top of my hair. "Did you get your prescription for Zofran filled?"

I nod and grab the bottle of magic white pills from my coat pocket. "Yes. Hopefully it will help. Otherwise I'm going to be out of the OR for awhile. This baby really hates the smell of blood. And tuna fish." I sigh and close my eyes as Derek runs his hand up and down my ribs.

He kisses me quickly on the cheek and unhooks his hand from my waist. "Come on," he says as he stands up. He holds his hand out to me.

"Where are we going?" I ask as I grab his hand and stand up.

Derek smiles at me and says, "Bath." He entwines his fingers with mine and leads me into the house and up the stairs to our bedroom.

I flop down on my back onto the bed as Derek goes into the bathroom and starts the water in the bathtub. I close my eyes and relax into the covers. A smile creeps across my face as I feel Derek untying my shoes. I sit up and grab his face with my hands and pull him to me.

He smiles at me and kisses me tenderly. He takes my shoes and socks off and grabs my hands, pulling me off the bed. We walk into the bathroom and Derek turns the faucets off. He sticks his hand into the water and says, "Perfect."

My breath hitches in my throat as he turns the bathroom light off and he lights a single candle on the window sill after shutting the blinds. He walks back over to me and grabs the hem of my sweater, and slowly lifts it off my body. He presses his lips onto my neck as his hands reach around and unhook my bra. I moan as he pulls the straps off my shoulders and lets my bra drop to the ground. Derek's soft hands roam across my breasts and down my stomach as he moves his kisses up to my face. He presses a soft kiss on my lips as his fingers undo the buttons on my jeans. He blazes a trail of kisses down my chest as he kneels in front of me. His lips linger on my stomach and he whispers, "Hey, little one. Let's give Mommy a break today, ok?" He hooks his hands into the waist of my jeans, and he pulls them off of me slowly, followed by my panties. "You're so beautiful," he says softly as he stands back up and wraps his arms around me.

I smile at him and press my lips against his in a gentle kiss. He grabs my hand and walks me to the tub. I step in and sink down into the warm water. "You're not joining me?" I ask as Derek kneels down next to the tub.

He smiles at me and says, "Not yet. I want to wash your hair first." He grabs the pitcher from under the sink and scoops it full of bathwater. "Look up," he whispers.

I close my eyes and tilt my head back. A soft moan escapes my lips as Derek pours the warm water over my hair. "So what did you do this morning?" I ask quietly as Derek continues to wet my hair.

He sets the pitcher down on the floor and reaches across me to grab my shampoo bottle. "We went and got groceries after breakfast. And when we got home, I spent an hour trying to unclog the downstairs toilet," he says softly as he begins to massage my scalp with shampoo.

I moan as he kneads his fingers on my scalp. "Wow, Derek. That feels amazing. Do I want to know why the toilet was clogged?" I ask.

Derek laughs softly. "Apparently, someone named Cracker wanted to see how many rolls of toilet paper could be flushed down the toilet at one time." He fills the pitcher up and pours water on my hair to rinse the bubbles out.

"Cracker. Crap. I forgot to warn you about him," I say with a smirk. "He lives in the sink."

"With the hairballs," Derek adds. "Yes. Jacob told me all about him."

"So what do we do?" I ask as Derek continues rinsing the shampoo.

He picks up my conditioner bottle and squirts some onto his hands. "About the toilet paper? I got it all out. Don't worry." He massages the conditioner into my hair.

I giggle. "No. About Cracker. What do we do about Cracker," I say through my laughter.

Derek smiles at me. "Oh. Well, since apparently Jacob is the only one who can see Cracker, I told him it was his responsibility to keep him out of trouble. Otherwise they'd both be punished," he explains as he runs his fingers through my hair.

"And you think that will work? Punishing Jacob for his invisible friend's naughtiness?" I ask as I close my eyes again and relish the feel of Derek's hands on my scalp.

Derek laughs. "I doubt it. It didn't work when I was a kid, anyway. But I didn't know what else to say to him," he explains as he begins to rinse the conditioner out of my hair.

I raise my eyebrows at Derek and say, "You had an invisible friend?"

Derek smiles sheepishly at me and says, "Yeah. Ernie. He used to bring worms into the house and hide them in my sisters' beds."

I giggle at him and close my eyes again. "Ernie, huh? So this must be genetic. It's all your fault Jacob has this naughty imaginary friend."

Derek pours a final pitcher of water over my head and says, "What? You didn't have an imaginary friend when you were a kid?"

I smirk and say, "It wasn't allowed."

Derek raises his eyebrows at me and shakes his head.

"Fine," I say. "Her name was Theresa. She used to sneak into my mom's room and try on her bras. Happy?" I giggle at him when he narrows his eyes at me.

"And you were going to blame this Cracker thing all on me," he teases.

I laugh at him and say, "Are you joining me in here or what? The water's not going to stay warm much longer."

Derek winks at me and stands up. He quickly undresses and sits down behind me in the water. He wraps his arms around my stomach as I press my back into his chest. "Feeling better yet?" he asks quietly against my cheek. He nibbles softly on my earlobe.

I close my eyes and let my body melt into his. "Mmm…a little," I reply. I turn my face to look at him and place my hand on the side of his face. "Kiss me," I tell him.

He smiles at me and kisses me gently. "What do you want to do the rest of the day?" he says softly.

I smile back at him and then close my eyes. I rest my head on his shoulder and say, "Take a long nap. And then lay on top of you on the couch and watch the kids play until bedtime."

Derek smiles against my neck before placing a soft kiss there. "Sounds good," he agrees. I moan as he kisses a path along my shoulder and up my neck, tracing my jaw line with his warm lips and tongue.

"I love you," I tell him as I turn my face to look at him.

He smiles at me as I place my hand on the side of his face. "I love you, too, Sweetheart."

**A comment would make my day. Seriously. And for the record, my son's imaginary friend's name is Cracker. He's incredibly naughty, and leaves a path of destruction everywhere he goes. =D **


	20. Flutter

I feel something wet press on my cheek as I lay asleep, and I pry open my eyes. I exhale sleepily as a tired smile creeps across my face when I look into the two sets of dark blue eyes staring at me.

"Morning," Derek says softly as he lays on his side facing me.

"MaMa Beh!" Emma yells as she runs her tiny hand along my chin. She leans forward and kisses me sloppily on the cheek again.

"Morning," I say as I turn over onto my back and wrap my hands around Emma's waist. She crawls on top of me and straddles my stomach with her legs.

"MaMa Beh!" she yells again as she pats my face with both of her soft hands.

"MaMa Beh?" I ask with a giggle as I look into her twinkling blue eyes. "What does that mean?"

Derek laughs and says, "Mommy is a bear." He winks at me and smirks.

I look at Emma and then at Derek. "And why exactly is Mommy a bear?" I ask.

Derek grins and replies, "You were snoring pretty loud, Sweetheart. Emma was terrified of the sound coming from your mouth, so I told her you were just pretending to be a bear to calm her down."

I glare at him playfully.

Derek raises his eyebrows. "What?" he asks as he reads my expression. "The poor little girl was scared. I had to tell her something!"

"MaMa Beh!" Emma yells again and claps her hands together.

I giggle and shake my head. "Whatever, Derek. At least I don't have your embarrassing bed head problem," I tease.

Derek's grin fades and he runs his hand through his dark hair. "What?" he asks.

I roll my eyes and point to Emma's hair. "Look at Emma. It's like looking at your self portrait," I explain. I dramatically rake my fingers through Emma's hair as it sticks out at all angles to prove my point. "Bed head," I tease. "Serious bed head."

Derek scowls at me and sits up. He grabs Emma from my stomach and holds her out in front of him. She giggles as he inspects her hair, turning her back and forth to look at every angle of her messed-up hair. "God. Does my hair really look like that?" he asks in a whisper.

I sigh and reply, "Yes. But I still love you both anyway. Lucky for you." I wink at Derek and he gives me a smile that melts my heart.

He leans down and pecks my lips with his before saying, "Thanks." He holds Emma against his chest and he scoots off of the bed. "Come on, Em. Let's go fix each other's hair," he tells her as he carries her out of the bedroom. "Tell Mommy bye."

Emma waves her little hand at me and says, "Bye Beh!"

I giggle and then close my eyes again. I exhale tiredly and roll over to my side and fall back asleep.

* * *

"Mommy. Mommy. Mommy!" Jacob says in a loud whisper as he pushes his hands against my shoulder to wake me up.

"What, Jake," I say flatly as I lay half-asleep with my eyes mostly closed.

"Mommy, Daddy says you have to wake up," he tells me softly. "Come on, Mommy. You can do it. Open your pretty green eyes." He runs his hand up and down my arm gently to coax me awake, just like I do to him in the morning.

I can't help the grin that creeps across my face as I open my eyes. I giggle as I look at Jacob's messy brown hair and am reminded of Derek and Emma's serious case of bed head earlier. "Hey, Jake," I whisper as I roll onto my side.

Jacob smiles at me and kisses me on the nose. "Hey, Mommy. You were snoring real loud like a bear again. Are you awake now?" he asks as he places his hands on my cheeks and smushes my face.

"I'm awake," I reply. I grab Jacob's hands off my face and entwine my fingers with his. I notice the time on the alarm clock and a wave of guilt washes over me. "It's already noon?" I ask as I release his hands and sit up.

Jacob nods. "Yep. It's noon alright. Daddy said you might be hibernating up here," he says innocently. "So that's how come I waked you up. Mommy, you can't hibernate yet! It's almost summer! Bears hibernate in the winter!" He giggles at his own joke and then turns and runs out the bedroom door. I climb out of bed and take an extra long shower to wake myself up.

* * *

"Hey," I say as I go into the kitchen. Derek is standing by the stove making grilled cheese sandwiches, and I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. "You let me miss breakfast," I say with a pout as I press my cheek against his chest.

Derek flips the sandwiches out of the skillet onto the platter on the counter and rubs his free hand up and down my back. "Sorry. I know how tired you've been this week. I thought you'd like to sleep in," he says softly as he tosses the spatula into the sink.

I look up at him and offer him a small smile. "Mmm…it did feel good, but I missed breakfast. You know breakfast on Saturday morning is my favorite time of the week," I explain as I press my body closer to his.

He wraps his other hand around my back and hugs me tight. He whispers into my ear, "I know. It's mine, too. We can pretend it's breakfast time now."

I pull myself away from him and look up at his hair. "We could. But that would mean you'd have to mess your hair back up and make yourself have bed head again. And it looks like you've spent at all morning working on it already, " I tease with a smirk.

Derek shakes his head at me as he turns and grabs the sandwiches off the counter and carries them to the table. "Actually," he replies as he smiles at me, "I spent more time on Emma's hair then my own. She wouldn't sit still long enough for me to brush the bed head out." He pulls my chair out for me. "Do you feel like eating?"

I walk over to the chair and kiss him quickly before sitting down. "Yeah. Maybe. I don't know," I say as I shrug my shoulders. "I haven't thrown up in a few days, so maybe."

Derek smiles at me and picks up a sandwich and places it on the plate in front of me. "Good. Maybe you're finally getting out of the morning sickness stage. I'm going to go round up Em. Be right back." He kisses me on top of my head before he walks out of the kitchen, and I look queasily down at my sandwich.

I poke it with my finger and scrunch my nose up. I laugh out loud when Derek walks back into the kitchen carrying Emma. "What the heck did you do to her hair?" I ask through my giggling.

Derek laughs as he sits Emma down in her highchair. "I told you! She wouldn't sit still. So I just pulled it all together and gave her a ponytail. It's not that bad," he explains.

I laugh again and shake my head. "It's alarmingly high, Derek. She looks like Pebbles from the Flintstones. At least you didn't use one of Panda's bones as a decoration," I tease as he sits down across from me.

Emma pounds her hands onto her tray and shouts, "Eat! Pease!" She points her finger to the plate of sandwiches.

I raise my eyebrows at her and then at Derek. "Did she just say 'please'?"

Derek smiles and says, "Yes. We've been working on manners. She was being horribly bossy…ordering me around all morning. Takes after her mother on that account." He smirks at me as he picks up half a sandwich and places it onto her tray.

Emma picks it up with both hands and licks the cheesy middle. She looks at Derek and smiles. "Tanks! Pease!" she tells him before licking her sandwich again.

"You're welcome, Beautiful," Derek says with a small chuckle.

"Where's Jake?" I ask as I pick up my own sandwich and take a small bite.

Derek groans. "Jake is in time-out. Along with his dog. And Cracker," he tells me as he shakes his head.

I suck in a breath and say, "Oh God. What did Cracker do now?" I drop my sandwich on my plate and push it away from me.

"Well, there's good news and bad news," Derek replies as he frowns at my uneaten sandwich. "The bad news is it seems Cracker thought Panda was super smelly and needed a bath, so he turned on the water in the tub and poured a whole bottle of bubble bath in. He forgot to turn the water off and the bathtub overflowed. The bubbles were knee high in the whole room. They were even seeping out under the door."

I groan. "Not the new bottle of bubble bath…the huge one I bought last weekend? That was like a half gallon!"

Derek nods his head and exhales dramatically.

"What's the good news?" I ask.

Derek smiles at me. "The bathroom floor is the cleanest it's been since we built the house. And as an added bonus, Panda smells like strawberries-and-cream instead of wet dog."

I giggle. "And what was Jacob's alibi this time?" I ask as I look at Emma. She intently picks little pieces of cheese out of the middle of her sandwich and sticks it into her mouth.

"According to Jacob, he was in his bedroom the whole time reading the Encyclopedia like a good little boy," Derek replies. He takes a huge bite of his sandwich and chews while he sighs.

"That seems logical. Lots of four year-olds like to spend their Saturdays reading the Encyclopedia. At least he didn't claim to be rescuing kittens from a burning building this time," I tease.

Emma shouts, "Aw done! Pease!" and smiles brightly at me.

I return her smile and reach over to lift her out of her highchair. "Hey, there's no food in your hair! You're actually…clean," I tell her as I inspect her head for food remnants.

"It's the ponytail," Derek says smartly. "I guess Daddy should fix her hair every morning, huh?" He grins at me and winks.

I scrunch my nose up as I place Emma down on the floor. "Uh…no. She looks ridiculous, Derek." I giggle as Derek's grin fades and turns into a pout. Emma runs out of the kitchen yelling, "Bye! Pease!"

I stand up and walk over to him and sit down in his lap. I smile at him and give him a tender lingering kiss. "So you've had a busy morning…with all the bossiness and hair fixing and bubble bath excitement," I say softly.

Derek smiles at me and runs his hand up and down my leg. "Never a dull moment at the Shepherd house," he says sweetly before pecking my lips with his.

I place my hands on his cheeks and look into his sparkling blue eyes. "Thank you, Derek. For letting me sleep in, even though our house was a zoo all morning. Thanks." I kiss him gently and run my fingers through his hair.

He deepens the kiss and smiles against my lips.

"What?" I ask as I pull my face away from his.

He grins wickedly at me and replies, "You know what says 'Thank You' like nothing else?" He pauses briefly and then says, "Sex." He wiggles his eyebrows at me and snakes his hands under the front of my shirt and runs his thumbs over my breasts.

I giggle at him and turn my body to straddle his waist with my legs. "That line never gets old for you does it?" I ask sarcastically. Derek shakes his head 'no' at me and smiles. "Kids in bed for naps first. Then I might thank you properly for being the best husband ever," I tell him.

Derek smiles at me and presses his face into my breasts. "Yes! It finally worked!" his muffled voice says against my chest.

* * *

I open the door to Jacob's bedroom and sigh when I see him laying on his bed with his face buried in his pillow. Panda lifts his head off of Jacob's arm and looks at me. He yawns and lays his head back down.

"Hey, Jacob," I say softly as I sit down on the edge of the bed. I run my hand up and down his back. "Jake, look at me."

Jacob sniffles and rolls over to face me. He sniffles again and wipes the back of his hand over his red-rimmed eyes.

"What happened?" I ask as I offer him a small reassuring smile.

"Daddy yelled at me," he replies through his sniffling.

"He did?" I ask as I place my hand on Jacob's stomach. Panda stands up and turns around and whimpers at me.

"Yes," Jacob replies.

"Why did he do that?"

Panda sits down next to my leg and lays his head down on my thigh. He looks up at me with his sad brown puppy eyes.

"Because he doesn't love me anymore," Jacob says. He covers his eyes with his forearm and sniffles some more.

"Why do you think that?" I ask.

Jacob doesn't answer me.

"Jake. Why do you think Daddy doesn't love you?" I ask again.

He shrugs his shoulders.

I sigh. "Is this because of the new baby, Jacob?"

He shrugs his shoulders again and turns his body towards the wall.

I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly in an attempt to get the lump in my throat to go away. "Jake, Daddy will still love you, even when the new baby comes, ok?" I scoot myself closer to Jacob and run my fingers through his hair.

Jacob sniffles and whispers, "Will you still love me, Mommy?"

I lift Panda off of the bed and place him onto the floor. He whimpers at me and runs out the door. I lay down on the bed next to Jacob and wrap my arm around his waist. "Jacob, listen to me. I will always love you, no matter what, ok? And so will Daddy. You're our little boy, and we will always always love you."

Jacob rubs his hand over his eyes and says, "That's not what Cracker says."

I try not to giggle and say, "Oh yeah? What does he say?"

Jacob exhales dramatically and replies, "He said that when the baby gets here Daddy's going to make me live in the shed with the lawn mower and take baths in the lake with the fish."

I laugh and say, "Cracker said that?"

Jacob nods on his pillow and says, "Yep. And he says that I'll have to eat barfed up worms that the mommy robins drop out of the tree when they are trying to feed their babies."

I wrinkle my nose up and say, "Ew. That's kind of gross. Eating worms is bad enough…but eating barfed up worms? Completely disgusting."

Jacob giggles and turns over to face me. "Mommy! You don't know what worms taste like!" he says as he curls up against my body.

I laugh and say, "And you do?"

Jacob shakes his head and says, "No way! But Panda licked one before and then he barfed on the grass. So I think they must taste bad."

I giggle at him and say, "This conversation is getting weird. How did we get on the subject of worms and barf?"

Jacob smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders.

"Ready for lunch?" I ask him as I return his smile.

He nods his head and wipes the remaining tears from his face. "As long as it's not barfed up worms," he says seriously.

* * *

"Is he sleeping?" Derek asks as I walk back down the stairs and lay down on the couch.

"As soon as his head hit the pillow. I guess his little bubble adventure and subsequent punishment wore him out," I say as I lay my head down on Derek's lap and look up at him.

Derek runs his hands through his hair. "God. This whole Cracker thing is getting on my last nerve," he says. "We need to find a way to get rid of him." He leans his head back onto the couch and sighs.

I smirk up at him. "Who? Cracker?"

Derek laughs and lifts his head to look down at me. "No, honey. Jacob," he says sarcastically. "Yes, Cracker. He needs to vanish."

I quirk an eyebrow at him and say, "You don't think that would be a little traumatic? Killing off Jacob's imaginary friend? It's bad enough trying to get him used to the idea of having another baby in the house without adding the death of his naughty playmate on top of it."

Derek rolls his eyes at me. "Mer, Cracker isn't real. And his little stunts are getting naughtier by the day. We've got to do something."

I shake my head and say flatly, "Fine. Let's plan Cracker's demise."

Derek purses his lips at me and says, "Are you mocking me?"

"Yes," I reply with a giggle. "You want to kill off your four year old son's invisible friend. Of course I'm mocking you."

Derek pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and says, "Look, Mer. I need you to be serious here. Cracker didn't show up until we told Jacob about the new baby. And the new baby isn't going to be here for another 25 weeks or so. I, for one, can not handle 25 more weeks living under the same roof as Cracker."

I inhale deeply and say, "Fine. I'm being completely serious. How should we bump him off?"

Derek thinks for a moment and says, "We could say Panda ate him."

I roll my eyes. "Derek. Seriously. This is Jacob we're talking about. You know he would be sifting through Panda poop until he found his little friend. Try again."

Derek sighs and runs his hand along his chin and says, "What if we tell him Cracker ran away and joined the circus?"

"Lame."

"Got accidentally flushed down the toilet?"

"Too easy. Plus Cracker can swim. Remember the sink incident last week? He's a good swimmer."

"Right. Put in jail for outstanding traffic tickets?"

"Derek. Be serious. He's three inches tall. He can't drive a car."

Derek laughs and says, "I'm trying! I don't see you offering any solutions." He brushes his hand on my forehead as I look up at him.

I pause and think for a moment. "What if we say I stepped on Cracker with my boot and squashed him on accident? We could make a little body bag. Maybe Jacob could make a little coffin for him."

Derek laughs and says, "This is fucked up. We can not kill Cracker. Jacob would have nightmares."

I giggle and say, "So what do we do?"

Derek sighs and says, "Wait it out, I guess. Hope that Cracker disappears on his own. I don't know what else to do."

I close my eyes and lay silent for a moment. "He thinks you're going to make him live in the shed. And take baths in the lake," I say softly as I smile up at Derek. "And you don't even want to know what he'll be eating when the baby gets here."

Derek nods and says, "Hmm…Jacob's not adjusting well to this baby idea."

I sigh and say, "No. Definitely not. I thought it would be easier for him this time than it was when we brought Emma home. But apparently I was wrong."

Derek smiles down at me and says, "He doesn't want to share his Mommy." He runs his fingers through my hair as he brushes it off my forehead.

"Or his Daddy," I add. "You should take him fishing when he gets up from his nap, Derek. Spend some time alone with him. I think he'd like that." I smirk and then sit up.

"What's that look for?" Derek asks as I climb onto his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

"I want some alone time with you, too," I say before pressing my lips against his in a soft lingering kiss.

Derek smiles against my lips and murmurs, "I would like that."

* * *

"You men ready to go?" I ask as I walk into the foyer where Jacob and Derek are putting on their rain boots.

A smile creeps across Jacob's face as he pulls on his boot. "We're all ready, Mommy!" He jumps up and grabs Derek's hand.

Emma runs into the foyer and looks up at Derek. "Go! Pease!" She holds her hands up in the air so he'll pick her up.

Derek gives me a helpless look and picks up Emma. "Sorry, Em. Just the boys today. Daddy will take you next time, ok?" He kisses her quickly on the cheek and passes her off to me.

Emma puckers her bottom lip out and her eyes well up with tears. "Go! Pease!" she yells as she reaches her hands back out to Derek.

Derek sighs and shakes his head. "Great," he mutters under his breath.

Jacob grabs Derek's hand again and looks up at him. "She can come, Daddy."

Derek smiles down at Jacob. "She can? Are you sure?"

Jacob nods. "Yep. She said 'please', and she's a good fisherman. I'll go get her Barbie pole!" he shouts as he drops Derek's hand and runs out the front door.

Derek and I look at each other and smile. He takes Emma from my arms and bends down to get her rain boots. He hands them to me and I shove her feet into them as she clings to Derek.

"Go! Pease!" Emma says quietly. She places her hands on Derek's cheeks and gives him a sheepish grin.

Derek chuckles. "Yes, Em. You can go. Put the lip away already," he says softly.

Emma gives him a sloppy kiss on the chin as she wraps her hands around his neck.

"You boys are a couple of softies," I tease. I pucker my bottom lip out and bat my eyelashes at Derek.

He laughs softly at me and shakes his head. "You want to go, too?" he asks.

I smile and wiggle my eyebrows at him as I say, "Yes, please."

* * *

"Look! Mommy! Look how big it is!" Jacob shouts excitedly as he pulls his trout onto the shore. It flops around on the ground and gets covered in mud.

Emma runs over to the fish and watches it flop around as she squats down next to it. "Baf! Pease!" she yells as she points to the muddy fish.

Jacob and I giggle at her. "Emmie," Jake says, "fish don't take baths. They live in the water!"

Emma grins at Jacob and says, "Baf! Pease!" She sits down on the ground next to the fish and squashes her hands into the mud. She holds them up in front of her and smiles. Jacob giggles loudly when Emma takes her muddy hands and rubs them on her cheeks. "Baf! Pease!" Emma yells as she holds her hands in the air.

Derek looks at Emma as he casts his line again and shakes his head. "It's Mommy's turn to give baths, Emma," he says as he winks at me. "And you missed a spot on your nose."

Emma smiles at him mischievously and rubs mud onto her nose.

I smirk at him and say, "Thanks."

* * *

"Ugh!" I mutter loudly as I finally rinse the last of the muddy ooze off the bottom of the tub. I stand up and shake my head and walk out of the bathroom. "That was disgusting," I announce as I walk into Emma's bedroom.

Derek and Emma look up at me from the rocking chair and smile. "That bad?" Derek asks sheepishly as he turns the page in the book he's reading to Emma.

I roll my eyes and say, "Your daughter clogged the drain…twice. How the heck did she get mud down her diaper anyway?" I sit down on Derek's lap next to Emma and wrap my arm around his neck.

Derek laughs and says, "I have no idea. She's such a mess. She probably stuck it down there when we weren't looking." Emma looks up at him and smiles as he kisses her on the forehead.

"DaDa! Pease!" she says as she turns her attention back to the story and pounds her hands on the page.

I smile at Derek and say, "I guess that's my cue to leave. I'm going to go tuck Jacob in and then take a shower. You two going to be reading for awhile?" I run my hands through his hair and kiss him softly.

"Mmm…no," he whispers. "She's tired. This is the last book." He smiles at me as he watches me stand up and walk to the door.

I walk into Jacob's room and sigh when I see him already asleep on his bed. I sit down on the bed next to him and run my hand over his forehead to move the hair off his face. "Night, Jacob," I whisper before placing a soft kiss onto his forehead. I watch him sleep for a minute, and then motion for Panda to come. He runs to me and I pick him up and lay him next to Jacob on the bed. I stand up and walk out of his room, turning the light off and shutting the door as I go.

* * *

I sigh in appreciation of the warm water as it cascades down my body. I quickly shampoo my hair and wash my body. I close my eyes and let the water pour over my head. My hands come to rest on my tiny baby bump and I smile. I laugh when I feel a little flutter under my fingers. "There you are, little one," I say softly.

The shower curtain opens behind me and Derek steps into the shower. "Who are you talking to in here?" he whispers into my ear as he stands behind me and wraps his arms around my stomach. His hands come to rest on top of mine. I quickly lift my hands and put them on top of Derek's. I maneuver his hands to rest where the baby is fluttering. "Baby's moving," I say softly. "Can you feel anything?"

Derek pauses for a moment and shakes his head. "Not yet." He lays his chin onto my shoulder and smiles. "It feels like it's going by faster this time," he says before pressing his lips onto my neck.

I smile and say, "I know. I guess it's because we're so busy with Jake and Emma. Time is flying by. This baby will be here before we know it." I turn around to face Derek and wrap my arms around his waist as the water sprays around us.

He brings me closer to him as he hugs me tightly against his chest. He smiles softly at me and then brings his lips to mine, kissing me softly. "I love you," he whispers against my lips. He kisses me again as his hands move to my face. He pulls away and looks into my eyes. His thumb runs along my chin as he studies my face.

I smile at him and say, "What are you thinking?" I move my hands slowly up and down his wet back.

He shakes his head slightly and says, "Just…I'm in love with you. It still amazes me how much I'm in love with you. That's all." He tilts his head and gives me 'the look'.

My breath hitches in my throat and I can feel tears pricking my eyes. I clear my throat and say, "Oh…" I smile at Derek and a tear escapes my eye. "I love you, too, Derek. Now more than ever. I love you."

**Thank you so much for reading, and for your patience with the frequency of my updates. I appreciate it! Comments are adored, as always. **


	21. Cotton Candy

**Thank you for all your amazing reviews for the last chapter. I usually respond to everyone who takes the time to comment, but I didn't get a chance to this time. Sorry! This is a blanket 'thanks' to all of you! I wouldn't still be writing this story if it wasn't for your kind words! Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I'd love to hear from you!**

Something kicks me in the thigh and I open one eyelid and peer at the intruder in my bed. "Ouch, Jake. Watch your feet," I grumble as I wrap my arm around his tiny waist.

"Sorry, Mommy," he whispers as he cuddles up against my body. "I was just trying to snuggle."

I smile and let out a sleepy sigh before kissing him quickly on the forehead. "Why are you in my bed? You know Daddy and I don't let you sleep in here," I ask him.

Jacob peers up at me and bats his big blue eyes. He smiles sheepishly at me and says, "I had a bad dream. Are you mad at me?" He rubs his fist over his eye and yawns.

I give him a reassuring smile and say, "No. I'm not mad at you. But this can't become a habit every time Daddy works all night, got it?"

"Got it, Mommy," he replies. "When are we going to get married anyways?" he asks me.

I raise my eyebrows at him and say, "You mean me and you?"

He nods.

"Um…why do you want to marry me?" I ask him as I brush the hair off his forehead.

Jacob smiles at me and says, "Because you're pretty! And you play blocks with me."

I laugh and say, "I guess those are good reasons. What do we do when we're married?"

Jacob wiggles his eyebrows at me and says, "Go to ChuckECheese!"

We both look over at the door as Derek opens it and walks in.

"Good morning, stranger," I tease as Derek walks over to the bed and sits down next to us.

Derek smiles at me and shakes his head at Jacob, obviously displeased that Jacob has slept in our bed in his absence. "Good morning," he says softly before bending down and kissing me tenderly on the lips.

Jacob bolts upright and shouts, "Stop it, Daddy!" He takes his hand and wipes my lips off. He glares at Derek and then kisses me hard on the mouth. "Hmpfff!" He folds his arms across his chest and pouts.

I roll my eyes and try not to laugh.

"What? I can't kiss Mommy now?" Derek asks as he folds his own arms across his chest.

Jacob frowns and replies, "No! She's my Mommy, not yours! And we're getting married!"

Derek glares playfully at me and says, "Oh really? Married, huh?"

I bite my bottom lip to try to keep from smiling.

"Yep," Jacob says. "Married!"

Derek's eyes twinkle mischievously as he says, "Well, hate to break it to you, buddy, but I married Mommy six years ago. You're a little too late."

Jacob growls like a bear at Derek and says, "Oh yeah? Well…I bet you didn't take her to ChuckECheese like I'm going to do!"

Derek chuckles and holds his hands up in surrender. "Whoa. You got me there, Jacob. All I did was take Mommy to New York City and Europe."

"Ha!" Jacob shouts as he jumps up on the bed. "I win!"

I shake my head at Derek and place my hand on my slightly protruding belly. "I sure hope you're a girl," I whisper to my stomach.

Jacob kisses me hard again and then jumps off the bed and runs out of the room.

Derek groans and lays down in the bed next to me.

"Rough night?" I say softly as I press my body up next to his as he lays on his back. I drape my arm over his stomach and rest my chin on his chest and look up at him.

Derek reaches down and pulls the sheet up over his body. "Just long. I missed you," he says as he turns onto his side and pulls my body tight against his.

"You did, huh?" I ask as I tangle my leg around his thigh.

He kisses me.

"Is that a 'yes'?" I ask as I break off the kiss.

He smiles and kisses me again. "So…what is this about you and Jacob getting married? I can't leave for one night and already you're replacing me with a younger man?" he teases as he runs his hands up and down my back.

I smile and place my hands on his cheeks and pull his face to mine. I give him a long, lingering kiss. "Jealous?" I whisper as I break the kiss.

He smirks at me. "Maybe," he whispers back. He places one of his hands on my stomach. "How's little one doing?" he asks as he presses his forehead against mine.

I smile and reply, "She's good. Fluttered around all night long like a ballerina." My smile widens as Derek raises an eyebrow at me.

"She?" he asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm not sure I can handle another Shepherd male around here," I reply sarcastically.

* * *

"Eat your cereal, Jake," I say grumpily as I flop down next to him at the table and pour some milk into my bowl.

Jacob picks up a spoonful of Kix and lets them drizzle down back into his bowl. "Daddy never makes us eat this disgusting cereal," he grumbles as he plays with this breakfast.

"Well, Daddy is sleeping. You're stuck with me and disgusting cereal this morning. Sorry," I mutter as I shuffle my own cereal around in my bowl.

"Yuck!" Emma yells from her highchair as she picks up a handful of Kix and drops them onto the floor. Panda runs over and sniffs them, then turns and runs out of the kitchen.

I sigh and set my spoon down on the table. "It's unanimous," I say sarcastically. "This is officially the worst breakfast ever." I laugh when Jacob and Emma both pout at me. "Fine. Get dressed. Let's go to McDonalds."

* * *

My cell phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket. A smile creeps across my face as I read 'Home' on the screen. "Hey, what are you doing awake already?" I say as I flip my phone open.

Derek laughs. "We have plans," he replies. "I forgot to tell you this morning. So I'm telling you now. We have plans. Where are you, anyway?"

I laugh and say, "We went out for breakfast. Apparently my attempt at making Saturday morning breakfast sucked so we went out for pancakes. And now we're at the park down by the ferry landing. I figured you'd like some peace and quiet so you could sleep." I hold my hand over the phone and yell at Jacob to stay off the monkey bars. "So…plans, huh?" I ask Derek.

"Plans. And you need to come home or we're going to be late," he replies.

"Be home in twenty minutes, or as soon as I can drag Emma out of the sandbox," I say.

* * *

"Daddy!" Jacob yells as he runs onto the front porch. He jumps in Derek's lap on the swing, making Derek grunt in pain.

"How was the park?" Derek asks Jacob as he adjusts him in his lap.

Jacob frowns. "Mommy wouldn't let me do the monkey bars," he says angrily as he folds his arms over his chest.

I roll my eyes as I carry Emma onto the porch. "That's because last time you did the monkey bars you slipped and almost broke your arm, remember?" I explain as I sit down next to Derek on the swing. I lean my face to his and give him a quick kiss.

"Mommy! Stop kissing Daddy!" Jacob shouts. He wipes my lips off with his hand and replaces Derek's kiss with his own. He jumps off of Derek's lap and runs into the house.

Derek and I both sigh. Emma looks up at me and smiles. She sticks her thumb into her mouth and lays her head back against my chest.

"Someone's sleepy," Derek says as he brushes his hand over Emma's cheek. She turns her face to look at Derek and smiles at him while still trying to suck her thumb. "Come on, Em. Let's get you a quick bath so we can go." He stands up and takes Emma off of my lap.

I raise my eyebrows at him and ask, "Are you going to tell me where we're going?" I follow him as he turns and walks into the house.

"Dr. Richardson gave me some Mariners tickets for this afternoon," he says as he walks ahead of me up the stairs and into the bathroom.

"Mariners tickets? As in…baseball?" I ask as I scrunch my nose up. I lean against the sink as Derek kneels down next to the tub.

Emma claps her hands together and points to the tub. "Baf!" she says excitedly as Derek turns on the water.

"Yes, bath. Your hair is full of sand, sweetheart," Derek tells her. "And yes, Mariners…as in baseball. It'll be fun."

I groan. "Seriously? Baseball is the most boring sport ever invented. And you're planning on taking the kids? Are you insane?"

Derek laughs at me as he squirts some baby soap into the tub. "What? I thought you liked watching baseball with me?" He pulls Emma's shirt over her head and then slips her shoes and socks off.

"I like watching baseball with you when we're laying on the couch together. It makes for a good nap," I tease. "But actually going to a game…with kids? No. No way. Bad idea. Why don't you call Alex and Steve? I'm sure they'll go with you. Why must you torture the pregnant woman?"

Derek finishes undressing Emma and lifts her into the tub. "I don't want to go with them. I want to go with you. And it'll be Jacob's first time to see the Yankees play." He pours a cup of water over Emma's head and laughs at her as she kicks her feet.

"Ahhh…I see. The Yankees are in town again. So now we all have to suffer," I say sarcastically as I bend over and pick Emma's dirty clothes and diaper up off the floor.

Derek looks up at me and winks. "Exactly," he says.

* * *

"No. No way. I'm not wearing that, Derek Shepherd," I insist as he holds a Yankees jersey up for me.

"Ah…come on, Mer. Please? You'll look hot," he tells me as he wiggles his eyes.

"Yeah," I reply. "I'll look hot. I'll also get my ass kicked by an angry mob of Mariners fans. I'm not wearing that!" I grab a sweater out of the closet and pull it over my head.

Derek shakes his head at me. "Fine. Be that way," he mutters as he puts on his own Yankees jersey and buttons it up.

Jacob runs into our bedroom and shouts, "It fits!" He smiles widely at Derek as he shows him his Yankees jersey.

"Looks great, Jacob," Derek tells him as he gives him a high five. He smirks at me and I roll my eyes.

Emma runs into the bedroom and yells, "DaDa!" She runs up to Derek and hugs his leg.

I groan as I watch Derek pick her up and kiss her cheek. "Seriously? You brought the baby into this?" I say as I look warily at Emma's Yankee cheerleader dress she is wearing. "And what the heck did you do to her hair?"

Derek smiles sheepishly at me. "The outfit came with bows. You don't like it?"

I giggle at him as I look at Emma's lopsided pigtails with huge navy blue bows tied to them. "Love it. Looks great, honey," I say sarcastically.

"Where's your Yankee shirt, Mommy?" Jacob asks me as he sits down on my bed.

"Mommy's a party pooper, Jake," Derek explains as he plops down on the bed next to Jacob.

I grab my shoes out of the closet and walk to the bed. "No, Mommy just doesn't want to get her butt kicked," I mutter as I pull my shoes on.

* * *

"Gross! What is that smell?" I ask as I hold my hand over my nose. I grab Jacob's hand and lead him quickly down the tunnel to our seats.

"We just passed the fish and chips stand. Do you want some?" Derek asks as he walks behind us carrying Emma.

I stop walking and turn to glare at him. "Are you serious?"

Derek scrunches his forehead up in confusion. "Um…no," he mumbles. "Sorry, Mer. I forgot the baby hates fish."

"Where are our seats, anyway?" I ask as we make the descent down the stadium staircase.

Derek pulls the tickets out of his back pocket. "Um…looks like right behind the dugout. Keep walking till you get to row 8."

I sigh and mutter, "Perfect. Make the pregnant woman sit two miles from the bathroom. Great idea, Derek."

* * *

"Did you even taste those?" Derek asks as he watches me shove the last nacho chip into my mouth.

I smile at him and shrug my shoulders. "The baby likes nachos. Got a problem with that?"

He laughs and shakes his head at me. "No. I'm just glad you're finally eating something," he says softly.

I smile at him and say, "Glad you feel that way. Because now the baby is hungry for ice cream."

Derek's smile fades and he says, "You just ate nachos, a frozen lemonade, and a whole bucket of popcorn."

I glare at him.

He nods. "Right. Ice cream. I didn't want to watch the game anyway. Come on, Jacob. Help me carry Mommy's food."

Emma snuggles into my chest and sticks her thumb into her mouth. She closes her eyes as I rub small circles onto her back.

"I know the feeling, Em. This game is putting me to sleep, too," I whisper into her ear as I close my own eyes and lay my head back against the seat.

I feel my cell phone ring in my pocket several minutes later and I sigh as I try to get it out without waking up Emma. "Hello?" I say as I flip my phone open.

"Meredith! What the hell are you doing at the Mariners game?" Cristina asks.

"Cris? How do you know I'm at the Mariners game?" I ask as I scrunch my nose up.

"They keep showing you guys on TV," she explains.

"You're watching baseball?"

"No. I'm at Joe's. He's got the game on. We've been watching you all afternoon. You're really pigging out, aren't ya?"

I groan. "Are you kidding me? You're sitting there watching me eat?"

"Hey, there you are again! And look, Derek brought you a big ass ice cream sundae! That's so sweet."

I groan as Derek sits down next to me and hands me my ice cream. "It's for the baby," I mutter.

"Whatever, Mer. Look…I've got fifty bucks saying you'll make Derek go buy you some cotton candy by the ninth inning. I'll split it with you if you make it happen."

I laugh. "You're taking bets on how much food I eat?"

"Are you in or not? Cause this pot is getting huge and everyone is betting against me."

I sigh. "But they don't know you're calling me?"

"No. I'm hiding in that far booth in the back corner so nobody can see me. So are you in or what? Cause this is like five hundred bucks we're talking about."

I laugh. "In. And I hate you, by the way." I flip my phone shut. "Idiots," I mutter under my breath.

* * *

Jacob groans and puts his hands over his face as they show the "Kiss Cam" on the big screen. "Why do they have to show kissing?" he mumbles into his hands.

"Crap," I mutter as the camera pans to a shot of Derek and me.

Derek laughs and leans over and kisses me hard. Jacob's head shoots up and he yells, "Daddy! Stop it!" He takes his hand and wipes my lips off and kisses me harder than Derek.

The crowd cheers Jacob's exploits as he kisses me over and over again.

I laugh and bury my face into Derek's shoulder as the camera finally moves onto its next victims.

"Your son needs a girlfriend," Derek mutters grumpily.

* * *

"Derek! Sit down before you start a riot!" I say as I tug on Derek's shirt tail.

He looks down at me and shrugs his shoulders. "Jeter hit a home run. I'm allowed to cheer, you know," he says as he sits back down.

I shake my head at him and smile. "You're going to get us all killed. People are starting to boo you," I explain.

"I'm being booed?" he asks. "They should be booing the Mariners. They're the ones that suck. It's not my fault the score is eleven to zero." He sits back in his seat and gloats.

I smile sweetly at him and say, "Can you go get me some cotton candy? And maybe some Cracker Jacks?"

He shakes his head at me. "You can't be serious, sweetheart. You're going to gain twenty pounds before your next doctor's appointment with all the food you're eating today," he says a little too loudly.

I press my lips together and then say, "Are you calling your pregnant wife FAT? The same pregnant wife that hasn't eaten in three freaking months because of all the morning sickness? I know you're not brainless enough to tell me I can't eat some freaking cotton candy!"

The entire two rows in front of us turn around and look at Derek.

He sucks in a breath and then exhales nervously. "No…I…just…you're beautiful…" He looks at the people staring at him and stands up quickly. "Be right back, sweetheart."

I shake my head as I watch him bound up the stairs, and mumble, "Idiot."

* * *

I carry Emma into her bedroom and lay her down into her crib. I contemplate changing her into her pajamas, but then think better of it as I watch her roll onto her side and clutch her puppy to her side. "Night, baby girl," I tell her as I pull her shoes off and place her blanket over her body. I walk to the door and turn the light out as I give her one last look. "Jacob sleeping?" I ask Derek as I walk downstairs and into his office where he is typing away on his laptop.

He looks up at me and smiles. "Yeah. Didn't move an eyelash when I laid him down. I left him in his clothes."

I smile at him and sit down on his lap. "Emma, too. She was tuckered out." I place my hands on his cheeks and give him a soft kiss. "Are you going to be working for awhile?" I ask him before kissing him again.

He nods. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I've got to finish this research. I'll try not to take all night."

I kiss him one last time and stand up. "It's ok. I'm going to go soak in the tub for a few minutes. I'll come bug you when I'm done." I wink at him before walking out of his office, and I head back up the stairs for a bath.

* * *

I finish towel drying my hair and walk into the bedroom. I pull my Yankees jersey out of the closet and pull it over my naked body. I smirk to myself as I button the middle two buttons and walk back downstairs to Derek's office.

Derek looks up at me as I walk in the door and he sucks in a breath. He pushes his chair away from his desk and he lets his eyes wander from my eyes down to my toes, and back up again.

I can feel myself blushing under the intensity of his gaze.

"Damn, Meredith," he says softly as his eyes catch mine. "You're so beautiful. Come here." He extends his hand to me, and I smile at him as I walk forward and grab his hand with mine. He groans as I sit down on his lap and his fingers wander to my naked thighs. "I'm really glad you didn't wear this to the game," he whispers into my ear. "I might not have been able to control myself." His hands roam up the back of my jersey as he begins to kiss a trail along my neck and down the valley between my breasts.

I turn my body to straddle his waist with my knees. His fingers make quick work of the two buttons on my shirt, and he moves the jersey slowly off my shoulders, placing warm wet kisses in its place. I sigh as his mouth moves along my neck and down to my breasts. "You really have a thing for the Yankees, don't you?" I ask.

Derek grins up at me and replies, "Maybe." He runs his tongue between my breasts and says softly, "But I definitely have a thing for you. It's intense."

I tangle my fingers in his hair and pull his head back to look into his eyes. I look down at him and say, "Do you love me?"

He smiles and replies, "I do. Even more than I love the Yankees."

**Thank you for reading! Comments are adored!**


	22. Meatball

**Thank you to all of you who comment!! I love you! Small disclaimer...besides not owning Grey's Anatomy, I also do not claim any rights to the movie When A Man Loves A Woman...of which I have shamelessly rewritten a scene in this update. Enjoy, and please comment!**

Derek nuzzles his nose against my cheek and whispers to me as I sigh sleepily. "Hey…Mer…Jake and I are going fishing."

I groan and pull the covers up to my neck and go back to sleep.

I wake up again when I feel the sun beating down on my face through the opened curtains. I smile to myself as I look over at the nightstand and see a note from Derek. My arms stretch above me and I let out a yawn before sitting up against the headboard. I pick the note up and rub my free hand on my not-so-little baby bump as I read:

_Hey Sweetheart, _

_I took Jacob to go watch the sunrise at the pier. We're taking our fishing poles, so it will be mid-morning before we get home. I have my cell phone and pager. Call me if you need me to come home sooner. Breakfast is in the microwave for you and Emma. Try to actually share with her this time. I made extra for Meatball. _

_Love,_

_Derek_

I roll my eyes at his lame humor, and laugh when, right on cue, my stomach growls loudly. "Okay, okay…I'm getting up, Meatball," I mutter as I toss the covers off of me and climb out of bed. I quickly use the restroom and wash up, before heading down the hallway to check on Emma. I smile as I creak her door open and see her sitting up in her crib talking to her stuffed puppy. "Hey, baby girl," I say softly as I walk into her room.

Emma looks up and smiles widely at me. "Hi, Mama!" she says. "Ook!" She holds her puppy up by the tail. "Owie!"

I take the puppy from her and notice the large rip behind its ear. "Uh oh," I say seriously. "Looks like puppy needs brain surgery. You're in luck, Em. I just happen to know a really good brain man with great hair. He's affordable, too. He works for kisses."

Emma giggles at me and stands up, holding her arms out to me. I lay her puppy on my shoulder before picking Emma up out of her crib. I carry her to her closet and pick out a t-shirt and pair of denim overalls. After a quick diaper and wardrobe change, I carry her (and her ripped puppy) downstairs for breakfast. My stomach growls again as I walk into the kitchen and the smell of French toast fills my nostrils. I quickly buckle Emma into her highchair, toss her puppy onto the table, and walk over to the counter to heat up breakfast.

"Hold on, Meatball," I say as I rub my belly gently. The microwave beeps and I take the enormous plate of French toast out. I quickly cut a slice up into tiny pieces and drizzle a few drops of syrup onto it. "Here, sweet cheeks," I tell Emma as I set her breakfast down onto her tray.

She gives me a smile and says, "Tanks!" I shake my head as I watch her fill both hands with food before she sloppily shoves one handful at a time into her mouth. "Mmmm…" she mumbles as she chews.

I return to the counter and stab three pieces of toast with my fork, and drop them onto my plate. I hesitate for a second as I eye the rest of the remaining stack. I shrug my shoulders and stab three more pieces, adding them to my pile before drowning them all with syrup.

I look longingly at the half-full pot of coffee and lick my lips. "Twenty more weeks," I mutter as I grab the milk out of the refrigerator and pour myself and Emma both cups.

"Want some milk?" I ask as I carry the cups and my plate of food to the table.

Emma scrunches up her nose and replies, "No tanks." She shoves another handful of toast into her mouth.

"Me either," I tell her. "I'd kill for a cup of coffee right now."

We both look up at the kitchen door as Jacob comes running in. "Mommy!" he yells. "Me and Daddy catched a whole bunch of trouts!" He stops in his tracks as his eyes land on my huge pile of French toast. "Whoa…you're gonna blow up if you eat that much," he whispers.

I try to stifle a laugh as I cut off a huge chunk and shove it into my mouth. Jacob stares at me intently as I chew.

"Mommy?" he asks as he props his arm on the table. He rests his chin in his hand as he watches me.

"Mmhmm?" I mumble with my mouth full of food.

Jacob sighs. "Daddy said he was going to build me a swing set out by the big tree for my birfday."

I stick another huge bite into my mouth. I nod my head and quickly chew. "Is that what you want?" I ask with my mouthful.

He smiles at me and says, "Yes! And I want to go to ChuckECheese!"

I groan and then plaster a fake smile on my face. "Fun," I mutter.

Derek walks into the kitchen and grins at me. "Morning, girls," he says softly before he places a quick kiss on Emma's forehead. She smiles at him and holds up a piece of soggy French toast. Derek plasters a fake smile on his face and says, "Yum," before eating it out of her sticky fingers. He licks the syrup off his bottom lip and then walks over to me. "Morning," he whispers to me with a smirk.

I smile at him and whisper, "Morning," back to him. He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips. I lick my lips as he pulls away. "Mmmm…wait," I tell him as I reach my arms up and hook them around his neck. Derek grins wickedly at me as I pull his face back to mine and I kiss him deeply. Jacob groans and runs out of the room shouting, "Not again!"

Derek laughs as he breaks the kiss off. "Getting your coffee fix?" he asks before kissing me softly again.

I nod and pout. "I miss coffee," I tell him.

He gives me a sympathetic smile as he sits down next to me. "Twenty more weeks, Sweetheart, and then you can drink coffee until it's running through your veins again," he offers as he gently rubs my stomach. "Until then, you can keep shoving your tongue in my mouth."

I laugh at him and can feel myself blushing. "I can't help it! You taste like coffee."

Derek raises his eyebrow at me and teases, "So…did you kiss me like that because you love me or because I taste like coffee?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Jake said you caught a lot of fish," I say as I attempt to change the subject.

Derek sighs and bats his eyes pathetically at me.

I giggle and place my hands on his cheeks. "Aw, baby. You know I love you more than coffee," I tell him.

Emma bangs her fists on her highchair before I can plant another kiss on Derek's lips. "Dada! Ook!" she says excitedly as she points to her puppy laying on the table. "Owie!"

Derek picks the puppy up and examines its head. "Oh my gosh!" he shouts as he looks at the large rip. "What happened to puppy?" he asks Emma seriously. "I'm going to need a full history, ma'am."

I roll my eyes at his lameness.

Emma sighs and puckers out her bottom lip. "Owie, DaDa," she says as her eyes fill up with tears.

I can see Derek's heart melting as he looks at Emma's big blue eyes watering. "It's ok, Em. Don't cry. Daddy can fix it!" he says as he hops out of his chair and walks over to the junk drawer. He pulls out a needle and thread and returns to the table. "Don't be alarmed, ma'am," he tells Emma. "This might look painful, but I'm a professional. Puppy won't feel a thing."

I groan and then laugh as the baby starts to flutter in my stomach. "I know, Meatball. Daddy's lame. But we love him anyway," I whisper. I wink at Derek as he shoots me a glare.

He quickly sutures up the rip and holds it up for Emma to examine. "Does your Daddy rock or what?" he asks her.

Emma grins widely and holds her hands up over her head and shouts, "No!"

He chuckles as he stands up and walks to the sink to wet a washcloth. He carries it (along with puppy) over to Emma and quickly washes her hands off. "That'll be one slobbery kiss, even though I'm apparently lame," he says as he bends down and puckers up his lips.

Emma opens her mouth and presses it against Derek's lips.

He stands up and wrinkles his nose as he wipes the drool from his mouth. "Gee. Thanks, ma'am," he says sarcastically. "I should really consider working pro bono." He hands Emma her puppy and she inspects the sutures carefully.

Derek's pager goes off and we both groan in unison. "Damn it. Sorry," he mutters as he unclips his pager from his jeans. "Be right back."

* * *

I sigh as I carry Emma into the living room, and plop down on the couch with her in my lap. "So, I guess our date night is cancelled?" I ask Derek as he slings his briefcase strap over his shoulder.

He smiles apologetically at me and kneels down between my legs. He tickles Emma on the stomach, and she squirms out of my arms and runs across the room to her toybox. "Mmm…if all goes well I should be out of surgery by dinner time. We could meet someplace. I'll call you in a few hours to let you know, ok?" he says as he places his hands on my waist and runs his thumbs along my stomach.

I wrap my arms around his neck and play with the curls on his neck. "Guido's?" I ask sheepishly.

He laughs and kisses me quickly on the lips. "Guido's is fine. I know it's been…" he glances at his watch and then rewraps his arm around me. "…twelve whole hours since you had Italian food. Meatball must be going through withdrawals in here." Derek kisses me again and then kisses my stomach through my shirt before standing up. He walks over to Emma and picks her up, kissing her softly on the cheek before setting her back down.

"Bye, DaDa," Emma says as she tries to wave to Derek with both hands.

"Bye, Em," he says as he walks to the front door and leaves.

I close my eyes and then laugh to myself as my stomach lets out a loud growl. "I'm seriously going to gain a hundred pounds with you, kid," I mutter as I rub my hand over my belly.

* * *

Emma holds her pointer finger over her mouth as she stands between my legs peering into Jacob's bedroom. "Ssss!" she hisses as she looks up at me.

I try not to laugh at her. "Shhh!" I tell her back as we watch Jacob snoozing on his floor, his head resting on top of Panda's back. Panda looks up and pleads with me with his eyes to get the sleeping kid off his back. "Sorry, Panda. I'm not waking up that sleeping bear." I reach down and pick Emma up. "Want to watch a movie with Mommy?" I ask her as I carry her down the stairs. "What's it going to be today, baby girl?" I set her down in front of the dvd collection.

She immediately pulls out her favorite movie and shouts, "Nemo!"

I roll my eyes as she hands it to me. "Nemo it is…for the hundredth time," I mutter sarcastically as I put it in the player. "Come cuddle, Em." I walk to the couch and lay down.

Emma runs to me and climbs awkwardly up on the couch and lays down in front of me. Her butt pushes against my stomach and she says, "Move Mama!"

I giggle at her and say, "I can't!"

* * *

My phone tweets signaling a text message. I shove my half-eaten bowl of strawberries into the refrigerator. I grab my phone off the kitchen counter and smile when I read:

_Surgery is going quickly. Meet you at Guido's at 6 for your Italian fix. _

"Thank God! I'm starving!" I say excitedly to myself. "Jake! Get your shoes on so we can go to Aunt Lexie's!" I shout out the kitchen door.

* * *

Jacob pushes the doorbell over and over again as we stand in front of Lexie's apartment.

The door opens and Steve smiles widely at us. "Jake the Snake!" he says as he holds his fists out in front of him.

"Hi, Steve!" Jacob shouts as he punches his fists against Steve's. He runs into the apartment and jumps up onto the couch.

"Hey, Emmaboo," Steve says as he reaches forward and takes Emma out of my arms. He tickles her on the stomach and walks into the apartment.

I follow him in and dart my eyes around the room. "Where's Lexie?" I ask him as I set Emma's diaper bag down next to the couch.

Steve smiles at me and replies, "Oh! She got paged. I think she had to go work with Der…I mean Dr. Shep…your husband." He clears his throat awkwardly as I stare at him.

"So…" I say as I narrow my eyes at him, "…she's not here. And…you are." I fold my arms across my chest.

He swallows and sets Emma down on the carpet. "Yeah, is that ok that I'm here with them instead of Lex? I mean…I thought it would be ok since I'm practically their uncle anyway…I mean, I will be soon….as soon as the wedding is over…in…August…" His voice trails off and he clears his throat again.

"You think you can handle these two kids…who just happen to be my ENTIRE world…all by yourself?" I ask him. I tap my toe in a very intimidating fashion. I can actually feel my pregnancy hormones kicking in.

Steve nods his head quickly and stutters nervously, "Y-Yes! I mean…I love these two little munchkins. They'll be fine…and Lex will be here soon." He smiles at me nervously. I think I see sweat forming on his forehead.

I inhale dramatically and exhale loudly as my glare intensifies. "Fine. You can watch them. But so help me, Steven Johnathon Eugene Mostow, if even so much as one hair on their precious little heads is out of line when I pick them up, I'll make you pay. It won't be pretty. Is that understood?" _Damn my hormones. _

He nods vigorously. "Y-yes. Of course, Meredith. I'll take good care of them. Promise," he says as he slumps down onto the couch and he picks up Emma, presumably as a human shield.

I sigh and then smile widely. "Great! We'll be back later tonight then!"

* * *

I sit down on a barstool at Guido's to wait for Derek, and pull my latest copy of Seattle's Best out of my purse. "Water, please," I tell the bartender, "and maybe some bread?"

She smiles at me and nods. She quickly serves me a large glass of ice water along with a basket of miniature steaming hot Italian loaves.

I turn my attention to my magazine. A man sits down next to me and clears his throat. "That looks good…the bread…looks good," he says softly. "Here all alone…on a Saturday night?"

I briefly glance at him and smile slightly before returning to reading. I can feel him looking at me and I wish he'd just go away. _Seriously, it's not like my baby bump isn't obvious or anything._

"Anything interesting happening in Seattle…in the magazine?" he asks as he motions to my magazine with his glass of alcohol.

I hold the magazine out to him. "Would you like to…read it?" I ask him with a fake smile.

He smiles widely at me and shakes his head. "No…actually I read for a living, so that's the last thing I want to be doing on a Saturday night," he replies. He takes a long drink of his…whatever…and then places his glass back down.

I crinkle my nose up at him and then look back down at my magazine. I sigh with annoyance.

Derek reaches his arm between us and 'accidentally' spills my glass of ice water on me. "Sorry…'Miss' ," he says as his eyes lock with mine. He grabs a napkin and wipes the water off of me.

I pull my arm away from him and huff. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he walks to the other side of me. I turn and look at the guy and roll my eyes. He shakes his head to affirm our annoyance with the strange man who has taken up residence next to me. "What?" I ask Derek.

He smiles at me. "Where are you going after this?" he asks.

I raise my eyebrows at him and then briefly look at the guy on the other side of me. "Why would you be asking me that?" I reply as I intently study Derek's face.

He sighs and then says, "I am a brain surgeon. I have a patient I need to go check up on in an hour. And I haven't had a chance to pick up my dry cleaning."

I shrug my shoulders and pause. "…And?"

Derek smiles at me. "And I thought you could pick it up for me."

I smile at Derek and then turn to look at the other guy, who rolls his eyes. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and let out a small laugh. I look back at Derek.

"Well…I'd give you the money and everything," he says. He pulls out his wallet and tosses some bills down onto the bar. "Here's the receipt and…thirty dollars. That should cover it."

I look down at the money and then at the guy, and back to Derek. "What do you propose I do with your laundry after I pick it up?" I ask him dryly. I look back at the guy and shake my head.

Derek nods and then reaches into his pocket. "Good question," he replies as he pulls his key chain out. "Here's the key to my place. The address in on the little thing. And I will be there at about…" he glances down at his watch, "…midnight. You can bring it by then." He smiles seductively at me.

"Midnight…" I say sarcastically.

The guy next to me interjects protectively with, "Ahhh…excuse me…"

I raise my finger to the guy and say to Derek, "Hold on…one second…if I could impose one further question. Why wouldn't I drop your laundry off at my convenience since I have your key?"

Derek smirks at me. "Because then I wouldn't be able to thank you properly," he says through his smile.

I try not to laugh and say, "Oh…I see. And how would you do that?"

Derek's blue eyes bore into me and he answers, "I would give you something you could take away with you."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "And what might that be?"

He smiles at me and replies, "You want to know up front?"

I laugh and say, "Oh yeah."

Derek sits down on the barstool and scoots himself with his legs slightly enveloping mine. He gives me his 'look'. "I…cook," he tells me.

I scoff and say, "You cook?" I turn and look at the other guy. "You cook!" I laugh and the guy rolls his eyes. I turn back to Derek and smile at him.

He takes in a breath and studies my eyes. "You like…Chinese…" he says knowingly.

My smile lessens and I say, "I hate…Chinese."

Derek nods and moves his face closer to mine. "Do you like…spaghetti?" he asks quietly. His sweet breath blows against my face as he talks.

My smile disappears altogether and I reply, "Very much."

"Well then," he whispers.

"With extra meatballs?" I ask quietly.

He smiles slightly at me and says, "My specialty."

Our eyes lock and I can't help but smile at him. I stand up and ungracefully climb onto his lap, straddling his waist with my legs. He wraps his arms around my back and gives the other guy a smirk.

He smiles widely at me as I lean my face to his and press my lips firmly against his. He strengthens his grip around me and pulls my body flush against his as the kiss intensifies.

I can hear people murmuring around us as we finally break off the kiss.

Derek opens his eyes as I pull my face away from his. He smiles at me. "You really left the kids with Steve?"

I giggle and shrug my shoulders. "He promised not to let them get injured," I tell him through my laughter.

Derek grins wickedly at me and pulls me back into him for another long kiss.

"So…" I say as we pull away. "You have to go back in? Really?" I slightly pout at him as I play with his ears.

He smiles apologetically and says, "Yeah. I'm sorry. It was a rough surgery. I need to stay close by for a few hours."

"Hmmm…I guess we could get take out and eat in your office together," I offer.

Derek's smile widens and he nods. "We could light a candle and make it romantic," he all but whispers against my lips.

I suck in a breath and run my hands down his chest. "We could," I affirm. "We could do lots of romantic things by candlelight in your office." I kiss him hard on the mouth.

Derek smiles through the kiss and then laughs.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "What?" I ask as I try to figure out what is so funny.

"Meatball kicked me," he explains as he rubs his hand over my stomach.

I giggle and say, "Mmmhmm…you mentioned food and Meatball woke up." My stomach growls loudly right on cue. I groan in exasperation. "I'm going to get huge," I grumble as I place my hand on top of Derek's.

"I don't care," he tells me. "You're beautiful."

My heart melts as the sincerity of Derek's words melt my heart. "Love you," I whisper as I bring my face back to his.

"Love you, too," he whispers against my lips.

**Thank you for reading. Please take a second to comment. It would make my day!**


	23. Moaning

**Warning: The following is fluff and cheese. Read at your own risk. =D**

I walk up the front steps and into the dark house. I hear the TV on in the living room, so I quietly make my way through the foyer, only to spot Lexie asleep on the couch with the remote control clutched tightly in her hand. "Lex! Lexie!" I whisper loudly as I poke her in the arm with my forefinger.

She snorts loudly and then sits up, her eyes open wide. "What?" she yells out as she looks around in confusion.

I can't help but giggle at her bewildered expression. "You were sleeping. On my couch," I say as I flop down next to her and rub my hands over my belly.

Lexie squints through the relative darkness at me. "Oh," she mutters, obviously still half-asleep. She brings the remote control up to her face and pushes the 'off' button. She sighs loudly and says, "I must have fallen asleep watching TV. There was a Love Boat marathon on TV land." She scoots herself back against the cushions and yawns.

I rub my eyes as I yawn loudly. "Don't tell me they're still out there," I say as I lean my head back and close my eyes.

"Yup," she mutters. "They've been out there since noon. What time is it?" Lexie glances at the grandfather clock in the corner and continues, "Twelve-thirty? Holy crap! They've been out there almost thirteen hours?"

I lift my head and nod. "Thirteen hours. Seriously! I told Derek just to pay the extra money and have the damn thing put together by professionals. But no…he has to go all macho man and do it himself."

Lexie grins at me. "Hey, Mer. How many brain surgeons does it take to put together a swing set?"

I laugh and reply, "Obviously more than two. Brainless brain men."

We both stifle our laughter as Derek and Steve walk into the living room. Steve sits down on the arm of the couch next to Lexie.

"Hey, Beautiful," Derek says as he walks over to the couch and squeezes next to me. He kisses me softly and places his hand on my stomach, rubbing his thumb lightly against my shirt.

"Hey, yourself," I tell him before giving him another soft kiss. "You boys finally get it finished out there?"

Derek and Steve groan in unison. "Finally. I should have just paid the extra money and had a professional put the damn thing together," Derek grumbles as he runs his hand through his hair.

Lexie and I look at each other and laugh. "Well, your son will be thrilled when he wakes up and sees his amazing new swing set, all ready to go, if that makes you feel any better," I tell Derek as I wink at him.

He smiles at me and shakes his head. "Not really," he tells me with a soft laugh. He holds his hand out and sticks his thumb up. "Look. I have a huge splinter!"

Steve snorts and says, "I have a blister!" He holds his hand in front of Lexie's face.

"Big babies," Lexie and I mutter in unison as we push their hands away.

Lexie stands up and says, "Come on, Steven. Take me home. I'm tired."

He looks at his blistered hand and sighs. "You're tired? All you did was play with little kids all day. I've been putting a swing set together since lunch," he mutters.

Lexie glares at him.

Steve clears his throat awkwardly as he tries to avoid Lexie's gaze and says, "So…I guess we'll see you at the party tomorrow? Or actually, today…since it's after midnight already….technically it's…today…the party's today."

Derek and I both stare wordlessly at him as he rambles nervously.

Steve swallows hard.

I nudge Derek in the stomach with my elbow.

He glares playfully at me and mouths the word "Ouch" as he rubs his stomach. He stands up and extends his hand to Steve. "Thanks for the help today, Steve."

Steve takes his hand and they shake macho-ly. They both quickly pull away and hiss, "Ow!" as they pathetically examine their injured hands.

I roll my eyes at Lexie and she shrugs.

"See you at the party. And thanks for helping, Steve. Jake is going to be thrilled," I say as I walk to the front door with Lexie as the guys follow us.

Lexie gives me a quick hug and rubs my stomach quickly. "Night, Meatball," she whispers as she bends over and gives me one last belly rub.

I glare playfully at her and mutter, "I am not Buddha. Please stop rubbing my stomach."

She smiles sheepishly at me and says, "Sorry, Sis. See you at ChuckECheese." She grabs Steve's injured hand and leads him out the door.

Derek gives them one final wave and shuts the front door, leaning his back against it as he turns to face me.

I smile at him and wrap my arms around his waist. "Hi," I say as I press my protruding belly against his waist.

He smiles widely at me and pulls me tighter against him. "Hi," he whispers. He leans down and kisses me tenderly. "How was your day?" he asks before pressing a warm kiss onto my forehead.

I sigh and press my cheek against his chest. "Not good," I say. "Horrible. The worst."

Derek rests his chin on top of my head and rubs his hands up and down my back. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

I lift my head and smile softly at him. "It's over. And I'm starving," I say through my smile. "Why don't you shower while I go devour whatever is in the fridge. I'll meet you in bed."

Derek chuckles and nods his head. "Don't take all night. And the cake is for the party. Hands off," he teases before kissing me quickly and walking up the stairs.

My stomach growls on cue as I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. "Hmmm…." I say out loud to myself. I grab an armful of food and kick the refrigerator door closed with my foot. I quickly make myself a huge plate of food and shove the rest back into the fridge. As an afterthought, I open the fridge back up and grab the carton of chocolate milk and pour a tall glass, shaking the container to get every last drop out. I carry my late night snack upstairs and place it on the nightstand next to my bed, and quickly change into one of Derek's t-shirts before slipping into bed. My eyes grow wide as I grab my plate and set it on top of my stomach, which has conveniently become a built-in table for my nightly bedtime snacks. "Come to Mama," I say to my food.

Derek opens the bathroom door and smiles at me. He tucks the end of his towel around his waist and walks over to the bed. He scrunches his nose up as he looks down at my huge plate of food. "What the hell are you eating?" he asks me as he shakes his head and laughs.

I giggle at him and point to my plate. "Um…cold spaghetti sandwich with black olives and pickles, and a side of strawberries with whipped cream. Oh, and chocolate milk." I point to my huge glass of milk on the nightstand and grin.

"Hmm…you're about to moan loudly, aren't you. I should get out the wax earplugs," he teases as he walks over to the dresser.

I laugh and take a big bite of my sandwich. I moan and close my eyes as I chew. "Oh my God. Oh. This is amazing." I take another bite and moan again.

Derek laughs and shakes his head at me as he pulls on a pair of boxers. "You know," he says as he walks over to the bed and cozies up next to me, "you used to make that noise for me when I did certain things to you. I'm getting jealous."

I giggle at him and then take a gulp of chocolate milk. "You're jealous of my cold spaghetti sandwich," I say flatly.

He nods and grins at me. "Yes, I am. You haven't moaned like that for me in three days. I wish you wanted me as much as you want that sandwich right now," he says playfully as he runs his hand up my thigh.

I try to keep a straight face as I take another bite of my sandwich. "Well," I say with my mouthful, "I wish I could tell you I wanted you as much as I want this sandwich right now." I shrug my shoulders and shove another bite into my mouth.

Derek's smile fades as he watches me chew. "Oh," he says dejectedly.

I swallow my food and then laugh. "Derek. I'm messing with you. You know I want you more than my cold spaghetti sandwich." I plop my sandwich down on my plate and place my hands on his cheeks.

Derek smiles at me and then tickles me on the ribs.

"Derek!" I shriek as I laugh. I take the plate off my stomach and smack Derek's hand off my ribs. "Damn it! Don't mess with Meatball's food."

Derek scoots up on the bed and smiles at me. He presses his lips to my ear and whispers, "Will you hurry up and eat so I can make you moan already? I'm injured, remember?" He holds his thumb up and shows me his splinter.

I roll my eyes at him and smirk. "God, you're a baby. Go get the tweezers. You'd think being a brain surgeon you'd be able to remove your own splinter," I tease as he hops out of bed and walks to the bathroom. I quickly finish off the remainder of my sandwich.

He smiles at me as he returns to the bed and crawls under the covers. He hands me the tweezers and wiggles his eyebrows.

I can't help but giggle at him as I place my plate on the bed and grab his thumb, quickly plucking the tiny splinter out. "There, all better," I say sweetly before kissing his thumb.

Derek smiles as he inspects his thumb. He leans his face to mine and kisses me gently as he runs his hand over my stomach. "Ready for me to make you moan?" he asks against my lips.

I smile and wiggle my eyebrows at him. "Yep," I tell him with a sheepish grin as I pick my plate back up and shove a strawberry into my mouth. I hold my foot up and shake my toes at him.

Derek looks at my foot and sighs. "Not quite what I meant," he mutters as he scoots to the bottom of the bed and picks my foot up.

I moan loudly as he presses his thumbs on the arch of my foot and begins massaging. "Oh…Derek….That feels so good…Don't ever stop doing that," I mutter through my moaning.

Derek keeps massaging my feet, and chuckles at me as he watches me polish off the rest of my strawberries and chocolate milk. "Full?" he teases as I toss my plate onto the nightstand and rub my stomach.

I shrug my shoulders and grin sheepishly at him. "Wanna make me really moan?" I ask as I pull my foot out of his hands.

Derek smiles widely and scoots up next to me on the bed.

I turn to face him and sigh. "My back is killing me. Think you could rub it?"

He laughs at me and replies, "Yes. As long as you rub something for me afterwards." He wiggles his eyebrows naughtily at me.

I smirk and tease, "Will there be moaning?"

"Loud. Very loud moaning. Wanna borrow my earplugs?" Derek replies.

* * *

Jacob throws the door to our bedroom open and runs over to the window. "Mommy! Look!" he yells. "It's finished!"

Derek groans and wraps his arm tighter around me under the blanket. I slowly turn over on my side and open my eyes. "Morning, Jake," I croak out.

Jacob jumps up and down excitedly. "Daddy finished it! Can I go swing? Can I go down the slide? Can I play in the fort?" he asks me.

Derek and I both laugh at him. "Get your shoes on. Take your dog out with you," Derek tells him.

Jacob yells, "Woohoo!" as he runs out of the bedroom.

Derek nuzzles his nose into my neck as I snuggle my back against his chest. "Was that the reaction you were hoping for?" I ask him.

I feel his lips turn up into a smile against my skin and he replies, "Yes. That was worth all the pain."

I snort. "You mean that measly little splinter?"

Derek huffs and says, "It was big! I almost died. I came this close."

I giggle at his ridiculousness. My stomach growls loudly and I groan in frustration.

Derek laughs at me as he runs his hand over my stomach. "Morning, Meatball. Daddy will go make your breakfast," he teases before kissing my cheek quickly and climbing out of bed.

I sigh as I watch Derek pull his blue jeans and t-shirt on. "Can you make banana pancakes?" I ask him.

He grins at me. "And…?"

I shrug my shoulders and smile widely. "And strawberries."

"And…?" he asks.

"And chocolate milk."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "And…?"

I laugh at him and reply, "And I love you."

He winks and walks out of the bedroom.

I sigh and run my hands over my growling belly. "Ugh…baby. You're making Mommy fat. Are you ever going to get enough to eat in there?"

* * *

"So, how is it, Jake? Did Daddy do a good job?" I ask as I sit down at the table next to Jacob.

He grins widely at me and gives me a thumbs up. "It's awesome! The fort even has a telescope so I can look for foxes with rabies!" he says excitedly. He shoves a huge bite of pancakes in his mouth and chews quickly. "Can I be excused?" He pushes his plate of half-eaten breakfast away and stands up.

I shake my head at him and smile. "Yes. You're excused," I tell him. He runs out the back door, slamming it on his way out. "What are you smiling at?" I ask Emma as I notice her large grin.

She giggles at me and shoves her thumb into her mouth. She picks up a strawberry with her free hand and inspects it carefully. "Mmm.…behwee…mmm…," she babbles as she sticks the berry into her mouth.

Derek laughs loudly as he sits down across from me at the table.

"What?" I ask him.

He shakes his head at me. "She's doing the moaning thing…you know, how you've been moaning when you eat. She's doing it. It's adorable," he explains.

Emma picks up another berry and moans before eating it.

"Oh, crap," I mutter.

* * *

"How much longer?" Jake asks as he jumps on the couch next to me.

I roll my eyes at him. "One hour, Jacob. Emma is still napping. I promise I'll let you know when it's time to leave, ok?"

He exhales loudly and slaps his hand over his forehead. "One hour! Geesh! This is taking forever!"

I laugh at him and ruffle his hair with my hand. "Are you excited about your party?"

He grins at me and sighs. "Yep. We get to eat pizza and play games. I bet I get one hundred million presents. And all my friends will be there, especially Danny." He snuggles his body against mine and smiles.

"Danny? Is he fun to play with?" I ask as I run my fingers through his hair.

Jacob giggles at me. "Danny's not a he! She's a girl! And I love her. She's pretty. We're getting married," he explains.

My smile disappears and my heart drops. "You're marrying Danny?"

He sighs sweetly. "Yeah. She's my girlfriend and we're getting married."

"I thought you were marrying me? Remember? You said you would take me to ChuckECheese?" I say sadly.

Jacob looks up at me and bats his big blue eyes. "Danny said I can't marry you. You're too old and wrinkled. Maybe Daddy will marry you. He doesn't care that you're old," he says innocently. He shrugs his shoulders and then jumps off the couch and runs upstairs.

I sigh and place my hands on my stomach as the baby begins to kick. "I've been replaced by a younger woman," I mutter sadly to myself as a lump forms in my throat. "Damn it."

Derek walks into the living room and sits down next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulder.

I look at him with my weepy eyes and say, "Do you think I'm old and wrinkled? Be honest."

Derek sucks in a breath as he scrutinizes my expression. He exhales slowly and smiles at me. "I think you're beautiful, more so than the first time I saw you," he says softly. He reaches up and runs his thumb across my jaw line.

"So…." I say sarcastically, "you're not going to suddenly announce one day that you've decided to marry someone younger and wrinkle-free?"

Derek pulls his face away and scrunches his forehead up at me. "What the hell are you talking about?"

I laugh and lean my head down on his shoulder. "Nothing," I whisper. "Just that Jacob has replaced me with a younger woman."

Derek laughs and nods his head. "Ah…Danny. She's a cutie. Wears pigtails and glasses. She's smart, too."I lift my head and glare at him. "What?" I ask. "You knew about this?"

Derek's smile fades and he swallows nervously. "No?"

I shake my head at him. "You did! You so knew about this."

He laughs at me and says, "Mer, he's five years old. It's just a crush. What's the big deal?"

I sit up and hit him on the chest with the back of my hand. "What's the big deal? Are you serious? Our son is turning five tomorrow! And he starts Kindergarten next month! And before we know it he'll be starting college! And then he'll be moving away with this Danny girl and living on the other side of the country! We'll never see our little boy again, Derek, because he'll be away at college on the other side of the country with this cute little Danny girl and her adorable freaking pigtails. That's what the big deal is. Jesus." I huff and slump back against the couch cushion and close my eyes.

Derek takes a deep breath and sighs as he slumps back against the cushion next to me. "Sorry, Sweetheart. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. This Danny is nothing but trouble. Damn her and damn her pigtails."

I bite my bottom lip and try not to smile as I open my eyes and look at Derek. "You're mocking me, aren't you?" I say flatly.

He turns his head and looks at me. "No," he lies.

We stare at each other seriously for a long moment.

I start to giggle and say, "What the hell is wrong with me?"

Derek smiles at me and places his hand back on my stomach. "You're sad that your baby boy is growing up. And you're pregnant. Just blame the hormones, honey."

* * *

"Look at my hat!" Jacob shouts as he tugs on my shirt.

I smile at his inflatable birthday crown and say, "Nice, Jake. You're the birthday king. Are you ready to go play some games before we eat?" I pick up a cup of tokens and hand it to him.

He yanks it out of my hand and runs away. "Come on, Danny!" he shouts, stopping to grab his 'fiancee's' hand before running to the video games.

"So, that's Danny…" I mutter to myself as I watch my baby boy run hand-in-hand with his new love interest. "She's not that cute. And her pigtails are crooked."

"Who are you talking to?" Derek asks as he walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my stomach.

I smile guiltily and place my hands on top of his. "No one. Just admiring our future daughter-in-law," I say as I lean my head back on his shoulder.

Derek kisses me softly on the cheek. "Come on, Sweetheart. He can't stay a baby forever."

I sigh grumpily and then turn to face him. "I know. I don't have to like it though, Derek," I mutter. I spot Cristina walking through the front door, and laugh at her freaked-out expression. "Oh God. Look at Cristina. She's horrified, and she hasn't even made it past the kid-check station," I tell Derek.

He turns to look at her and laughs. "She's like a deer caught in the headlights. You better go get her before she panics and runs out the front door," he says.

I laugh and kiss him quickly and then make my way through the insanely wild throng of kids to Cristina. "Hey! Cris! You made it!" I shout as she gets her hand stamped.

She walks over to me and stares at her arm. "What the hell was that all about?" she asks.

I roll my eyes. "Kid check. They don't want you walking off with a kid that's not yours," I explain.

Cristina scrunches up her forehead in confusion. "Why the hell would I do that? I hate kids…you know, except for yours. Your kids are awesome," she says. She looks around the restaurant in bewilderment. "Holy crap. What the hell is this place?" she asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "This, Cristina, is ChuckECheese. Otherwise known as Hell. Welcome!"

* * *

"Mommy, can I have some more tokens?" Jacob asks as he runs over to the party table. He bats his big blue eyes at me and smiles.

I wink at him and hand him a cupful of tokens. "Here ya go, handsome. You can have the last cup," I tell him.

Derek and Steve walk over to the table, sulking.

"What's wrong with you two?" I ask Derek as he sits down next to me.

"We ran out of tokens, and the credit card machine is broken," he pouts.

"God! I would have had high score on the Grand Prix game if I would have had a token to continue," Steve huffs as he stomps his foot angrily.

I try not to laugh as I say, "Oh my god. How old are you, Steve?"

He looks at me and stutters, "I'm thirty- one. Remember, you came to my surprise party last year?"

Derek and I both laugh. "I think that was a rhetorical question, Steve," Derek says.

* * *

"Oh crap. Derek, go get Emma. Hurry," I tell him as I whack him on the arm with the back of my hand.

He raises his eyebrows and says, "What? Why? What's wrong?"

I point my finger to the over-sized mouse making it's way to our table. "THAT'S what's wrong. Emma's going to scream when she sees that thing, and I'm pretty sure Cristina won't want to be holding her when that happens."

Derek nods in understanding as he sees ChuckECheese waving to the party guests. He jumps off his chair and rushes over to Cristina, grabbing Emma out of her arms just as the mouse stops in front of them.

Emma grabs hold of Derek's hair with both hands and lets out a blood curdling scream as ChuckE tries to give her a high-five.

* * *

Jacob blows out the candles on his birthday cake and we all clap for him. I give him a kiss on the cheek, and he quickly wipes it off with the back of his arm. I try not to pout as I walk back over to my chair and sit down.

"Want some cake, Em?" Derek asks as he buckles her into her highchair.

She pounds her fists onto her tray and yells, "Cake!" He places a piece of chocolate cake in front of her and cuts it into small pieces. She picks a piece up and moans. "Mmmm….cake….mmmm…" she says before shoving it into her mouth. She quickly chews it up and repeats the moaning with her next bite of cake.

"Holy crap! What's with Em?" Alex asks. "It sounds like she's in a porno movie."

All the guys laugh, and I elbow Derek in the stomach. "Derek! That's so inappropriate!" I tell him.

He smirks at me and says, "Don't get mad at me! She learned it from you, Sweetheart."

I can feel myself blushing as everyone laughs. I place my face into my hands as Emma 'enjoys' another bite of cake.

* * *

"Oh! Wow! Look what Aunt Cris got me! A drum set!" Jacob shouts as he rips the wrapping paper off the giant present.

Derek and I both glare at Cris. "Are you on drugs?" I ask her.

"What?" she asks innocently.

* * *

"Did you have a good party, Jacob?" I ask him as I tuck the blanket under his armpits.

He smiles at me and yawns. "Yeah. It was the best party ever. I love ChuckECheese, don't you?"

I raise my eyebrows at him and nod. "Yep. It's the best. Good night, big guy. Just think…when you wake up in the morning you'll be five. Is that cool or what?" I brush the hair off of his forehead with my thumb.

He smiles at me. "Way cool, Mommy."

I bend down and rest my forehead against his. "Ok, this is it, Jacob. Give me your last four-year old kiss," I tell him.

He grins at me and wraps his arms around my neck. He gives me a quick kiss. "How was that?"

I smile at him. "Perfect. And I bet your five year-old kisses will be even better." I stand up and pat the bed. Panda jumps up and lays down next to Jacob. "Night, boys," I say as I pat Panda on the head.

Jacob smiles sleepily at me and wraps his arm around Panda.

I walk to the door and flip the light switch off, giving one last look back to my little boy, who suddenly doesn't look so little anymore.

* * *

I step out of the shower and dry off slowly, groaning at the ache in my back as I bend over to try to dry my feet off. I drop the towel and mutter, "Screw it" when I give up hope of actually being able to reach my toes. I quickly brush my hair and teeth before walking out of the bathroom.

I can hear Derek suck in a breath as he watches me walk naked into the bedroom.

"You don't need those," he says quietly as I grab a pair of panties out of my drawer.

I smile at him and drop them back into the drawer. I walk over to the bed and Derek moves the covers off of himself. I clumsily climb onto the bed and straddle Derek's waist with my knees.

"You're so damn beautiful," he says softly as he wraps his arms around my back. "I want you…so badly." He presses his lips onto my neck, and I moan at the feel of his kisses on my skin.

My fingers tangle in his hair as he moves his trail of warm kisses along my collarbone and behind my ear. "Derek," I say as I try to pull his face off my neck.

"Mmhmm…" he mutters as he continues his assault of kisses on my skin.

I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling my body as close to his as I can. "Hug me," I tell him.

Derek stops kissing me and pulls his face away from mine, trying to read the expression on my face. "What's wrong, Sweetheart? You look sad," he says as he runs his hands up and down my back.

I shake my head and say, "Not sad…just…I don't know. I was thinking in the shower…trying to remember what our life was like before Jacob was born. I can't remember. Can you remember?" I pull my body slightly away from his and play with the back of his hair with my fingers.

Derek sighs and shakes his head. "No. I honestly can't. I remember our wedding and our honeymoon and other moments like those, but as far as what our life was really like, our day-to-day life… I can't remember."

"It seems like he's been with us forever. Does it seem like that to you?" I ask him.

He smiles at me as he continues running his hands along my back. "Yeah. It does. I can't remember not being Jacob's Dad."

I feel tears forming in my eyes and I try to blink to keep them at bay.

"Why are you crying, Meredith?" Derek asks softly as he reaches up and wipes a traitorous tear from the corner of my eye.

I shrug my shoulders and reply, "I don't know. I don't. I'm just sad that Jacob is already five. And I worry that…" I groan and lean forward, burying my face in Derek's chest.

"You worry what?" he encourages as he pulls me closer in a tight hug.

I sniffle and reply, "I worry that I'm not doing a good enough job being a mom."

Derek chuckles softly and soothes me by rubbing small circles on my back with his soft hands. "Meredith. Come on. You know you're a good mom. You have to know that. These kids are happy and secure, and that's because of you, ok? Please don't cry. Where is this coming from?"

I pull my tear stained face from his chest and wipe my hand across my cheek. "I'm sorry. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I'm just sad and weepy and it's killing me that Jacob is turning five. Ugh. Stupid pregnancy hormones."

Derek smiles at me and wipes the remaining tears from my face. "Are you blaming the baby for your severe emotional outbursts?"

I giggle through my sniffles and say, "It was your idea."

Derek nods and says, "It was." He pulls me close to him again and kisses me tenderly. "I love you, Meredith." He kisses me softly again, and I smile through the kiss.

"Even though I'm a weepy emotional mess?" I ask as I pull my face away from his.

He grins at me and reaches a hand up to brush the hair out of my eyes. "Yes. I love everything about you. Everything," he tells me softly before kissing me again.

I tangle my hands in his hair and deepen the kiss. "Derek?" I say against his lips.

"Mmhmm…" he mumbles as his lips find their way to my neck.

"Make me moan," I instruct him. "And I'm not talking about food this time."

**Thanks for reading! Please comment. I'd love to hear from you!**


	24. Pink or Blue

**This chapter is a little shorter than usual. I'm trying to pack for vacation, and I wanted to get this posted before I leave in the morning. Enjoy!**

I groan and crack my eyes open when my stomach begins to growl loudly in the dark. I look over at Derek and bite my bottom lip as I contemplate waking him up to fetch me a midnight snack. I poke him in the arm with my index finger. He doesn't move, so I poke him again, this time harder. He rolls over and begins to snore softly. A long exasperated sigh escapes my mouth as I roll out of bed in the darkness, and I pull Derek's robe over my arms as I walk out of the bedroom and head down the stairs. "Baby, you've got to be getting full by now. I just fed you four hours ago. Seriously, this is getting embarrassing," I mutter as I flip the light on in the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and scan the contents for something Italian…anything Italian. "Bingo," I whisper loudly as I pull out a huge container of leftover lasagna. I grab a fork out of the drawer and plop down at the table and practically inhale the cold pasta.

"Much better," I say with a satisfied sigh as I stand up and toss the empty container into the trash and the fork in the sink. I open the fridge again and pull out a bottle of ice cold water, and take a long gulp before pressing the cold bottle against my flushed forehead. "Ugh…Stupid hot flashes," I mutter. I toss the bottle back into the fridge and turn the kitchen light out.

I carefully make my way up the darkened staircase and back to the bedroom, setting Derek's robe onto the dresser as I walk in. Slowly, I crawl back under the covers and try unsuccessfully to slip unnoticed back into bed.

Derek lets out a long breath and mutters, "You ok?" as he waits for me to maneuver my belly back into a comfortable position.

I tuck a pillow between my knees and try to cuddle up next to him as he wraps his arm around my lower back. "Yeah, I just needed a drink of water," I lie before kissing him quickly on the lips.

Derek cracks an eye open and smirks. "You smell like Guido's," he teases.

I giggle sleepily and kiss him again. "The water was for me…the baby knew there was Guido's lasagna in the fridge," I explain.

Derek rubs my back gently and closes his eyes. "And the baby made you eat the lasagna?" Derek teases as he continues rubbing my back.

I sigh and close my eyes. "Mmmhmm…the baby did. I want to make the baby happy, so I ate it…all of it." I smile and relax fully into Derek's touch as he slowly lulls me back to sleep. "Ow! Shit!" I yelp as I place my hand over my ribcage. I roll over onto my back and groan in pain. "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Derek sits up straight and flips on the lamp. "What? Are you ok?" he asks as he towers over me. He places his hand on top of mine.

I inhale deeply and then exhale. "Yeah. Your baby just kicked the hell out of my ribs. Damn it, that hurt," I mumble as I press my fingers into my ribs.

Derek sighs and runs a hand over his face. He shakes his head and kisses me quickly on the cheek. He lays down next to me and helps me turn back over to my side to face him. "Are you ok?" he asks softly as he brushes a strand of hair from my cheek.

I groan again and grab Derek's hand and place it on my stomach. "Your baby is doing cartwheels. Or jumping jacks. Or is bungee jumping with the umbilical cord. I'm obviously not sleeping anytime soon," I mutter. I sigh tiredly and close my eyes. "Turn the light off. I'm fine. Go back to sleep," I whisper as Derek presses his lips to my forehead.

"I have a better idea," he says softly.

I open my eyes and giggle as he winks at me. "Fine, you can try it again. But don't blame me when you're dragging ass in the morning," I tease.

Derek grins widely at me and rolls out of bed, sneaking out into the dark hallway. He returns a few minutes later with an armful of children's books.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Holy crap! I hope it doesn't take that many before you find the right one to put this baby to sleep," I say sarcastically.

Derek laughs as he drops the stack of books onto the nightstand. "Well, it was dark in Jacob's room, so I just grabbed as many as I could. I figured I'd just pull a few out and give them a try. There has to be at least one in here that doesn't suck," he explains as he runs his fingers along the spines of the books. He grins and pulls one out of the stack. "This one looks promising," he says as he lays his head down onto my chest and lifts the bottom of my t-shirt, exposing my pregnant belly. "This ok?" he asks as he looks up at me.

I nod my head and smile at him, and run my fingers lazily through his hair.

He opens the book and begins to read to my stomach. "It was bedtime, and five little monkeys put on their pajamas…"

I roll my eyes as he continues reading and the baby kicks even harder.

"Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head," he reads.

I giggle and grab his hand off the book and place it on my stomach. "Not working, Derek. Too much action in this story. Try one that doesn't involve jumping monkeys with head injuries," I say softly.

Derek lifts his head and nods in agreement as he drops the book onto the floor. "Right. Let's see…" he searches through the stack of books and pulls out another one, lays his head back down on my chest and begins to read. "A told B and B told C, 'I'll meet you at the top of the coconut tree'," he says.

I snort and grab the Chicka Chicka Boom Boom book out of his hand.

"What?" he asks as he looks up at me. "I didn't even get to the good part." He mock glares at me as I toss the book off the bed and it lands with a soft thud on the floor.

"There is no good part in that book. I hate that book. It's not an option. I refuse to read that book a million times to this baby to put it to sleep," I say bossily. I yawn and run my hand over my stomach. I close my eyes and smile as Derek places his hand over mine and the baby kicks us. I whisper, "Turn the light off, Derek. You need some sleep. You can try again after Meatball's next late night snack attack."

* * *

I turn off the faucet and step out of the shower, grab a towel and quickly dry off my hair and upper body. I let the towel fall to the ground, and I scrutinize myself in the full length mirror on the door. "Holy. Crap. I'm huge…" I mutter as I run my hand over my enormous belly.

Derek opens the door and sticks his head in. His breath hitches in his throat as his eyes scan my body from head to toe, and back up again. "Wow," he whispers.

I glare at him and put my hands on my hips. "Wow? Are you serious? Look at this body!" I say loudly as I point both index fingers to my stomach.

"I'm looking," Derek says softly. "Thank you for letting me look. God, you're really beautiful." He takes another long glance down the length of my body before resting his eyes on my chest.

I groan in frustration. "I'm not. Really, Derek. There's nothing beautiful about looking like a big inflated blueberry that has to be rolled out of the room by an Oompa Loompa." I cross my arms over my stomach in a poor attempt to cover myself up.

He tears his eyes from my chest and looks up at me. "A what?" he asks as he steps into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss onto my forehead.

I roll my eyes, which are now filling with angry embarrassed tears, and say, "An Oompa Loompa, Derek. Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? The girl chews the gum when she's not supposed to and turns into this huge blueberry and the Oompa Loompas have to roll her out of the room…"

He scrunches his forehead up at me in confusion and shakes his head.

"Forget it," I mutter. "I'm huge. And I don't want to go try on this stupid dress today." I wipe angrily at the tears that have fallen out of the corners of my eyes.

Derek sighs and runs his hands up and down my back. "Lexie is downstairs waiting for you, Sweetheart. You can't back out of this wedding now. You're her sister. You're her matron of honor. And, no matter what you think, you are amazingly beautiful. And you will be even more beautiful next month for the wedding. So please, stop crying. Get dressed and come downstairs so you can go to the boutique with your sister. You're beautiful, ok?" he says softly. He presses his cool lips to my hot forehead.

"Ok," I whisper as I swallow a lump in my throat.

* * *

I walk slowly down the stairs and smile at Derek as he looks up at me from the foyer. "You boys leaving already?" I ask as I reach the bottom stair and stand in front of Derek and Steve.

Derek smiles at me and winks. "Yes. Jacob's tux fitting is in an hour. We should be able to meet you girls for lunch if that's ok?"

I wrap my arms around his waist and give him a quick kiss. "Sounds good. Text me when you're done?" I kiss him again and smile. "Mmmm…You just had coffee."

Derek grins wickedly and presses his lips to mine in a long soft lingering kiss that makes me moan.

Steve clears his throat awkwardly. "Um…" he stammers quietly, "we should…you know…we should go…after you finish kissing…" He waits for a long moment and then stammers some more, "Are you going to finish kissing…sometime today?…because the tux fitting is in an hour…"

Derek laughs as he breaks the kiss off. He yells, "Jacob!" before pecking my lips quickly.

Jacob runs in from the kitchen and smiles widely at me. "Hi, Mommy! We saved you some breakfast! And Emma's a huge disaster mess!" He wraps his arms around my legs and hugs me tight and then runs out the front door.

I raise my eyebrows at Derek. "Why is she a huge disaster mess?" I ask cautiously.

Derek shrugs his shoulders at me. "I have no clue. She was fine when I left the kitchen two minutes ago. We've got to go or we'll miss our appointment. Have fun with the girls, ok?" he says softly. He kisses me quickly and then winks at me as he walks out the door.

I groan as I watch Steve and Derek leave. "Oh, Emma," I mumble. I turn and walk into the kitchen and stop in my tracks as I see the sight before me. "Holy shit…" I say before laughing uncontrollably.

Lexie looks up from her post in front of Emma and shakes her head fiercely at me. "Crap! I'm sorry! I didn't know this would happen, I swear! I was just looking in the fridge for some butter for my waffle…and I spotted the pudding cups and I couldn't help but eat one…because I'm nervous about this whole wedding thing…and I eat when I'm nervous…and Emma started moaning at me…so I gave her some…like a whole pudding cup…which was stupid, obviously…next thing you know she's got both hands covered with chocolate pudding and she's rubbing it all over her body like a mud bath or something…Crap!" She rushes over to the sink and wets another paper towel.

Emma giggles at me and licks her wrist. "Mama! Ook! Ummy!" she yells at me before sticking her fingers into her mouth.

I laugh and grab my phone off the counter and snap a few pictures of the chocolate-covered Emma. "Well," I offer, "at least you took her dress off first." I walk over to the highchair and watch Lexie smear the pudding all over Emma's body with the wet paper towel. "Just…you know what…you're smearing it…just come stand her up in the sink and I'll squirt her with the sprayer." I walk to the sink and adjust the water temperature as Lexie unbuckles Emma from her seat.

She carries her at arms length over to the sink and stands her up. "Should I take her diaper off?" she asks me.

I wrinkle my nose as I look at Emma's chocolate covered diaper. "Gross. Yeah…just yank it off and toss it in the trash."

Emma laughs as she stands naked in the sink.

"This is the best day of your short little life, isn't it?" I ask her as she stands before me covered head-to-toe in chocolate pudding.

Emma grins as she looks down at her stomach and runs her hands over the chocolate mess. "Ook! Ummy!"

* * *

"Oh, Mer! You look beautiful!" Lexie gushes as I stand in front of the mirrors in the bridal boutique.

I roll my eyes and huff. "You can't be serious. I look like a pink nightmare," I grumble. "Seriously, Lex! Pink? I look like the Energizer bunny threw up all over me!" I smooth the dress over my stomach and cringe at my reflection in the mirror.

Lexie readjusts Emma on her hip and smiles at me. "Yes, pink. I like pink. It's soft and feminine and makes your skin glow. So deal with it, sister."

I roll my eyes again.

Emma points her finger at me and says, "Mama pwetty." She smiles and then shoves her thumb into her mouth and lays her head down on Lexie's shoulder.

"Told ya the dress looks nice," Lexie gloats as she rubs her hand over Emma's back.

I snort and say flatly, "You're going to side with the kid that thinks chocolate pudding is a fashion statement?"

* * *

"So…how was the dress fitting?" Derek asks as I sit down between him and Jacob at the outdoor bistro.

I sigh and give him a fake smile. "It was fantastic," I lie. I kiss Jacob quickly on the cheek and laugh as he rubs his forearm over it to wipe it off.

Lexie snorts and says, "Yeah, if you think listening to a pregnant woman whine for two hours about how much she hates wearing pink is fantastic…then yes, it was fantastic."

I roll my eyes and say, "I looked like a gigantic flamingo. But whatever. It's your wedding." I sigh and change the subject. "How did the tux fittings go? Did Jacob look adorable in his little tux?"

Derek smiles widely at me and pulls his phone out of his pocket. "I took pictures," he says as he hands his phone to me.

I grin and grab my phone out of my purse. "Here. I took pictures, too," I tell him as I hand him my phone.

Tears well up in my eyes as I look at the pictures of Jacob dressed in a little black tuxedo. I take in a deep breath to keep from crying like a hormonal pregnant woman in front of everyone. "Jake, you look great!" I tell him as I scroll through the pictures.

Jacob groans and places his forehead in his hand. "Mommy, I looked ridiculous. Steve is making wear a pink tie! I looked like a penguin with a gross girl bow around its neck!"

"What the…" Derek says as he shows Steve and Jacob the pictures on my phone. "What does Emma have all over her?"

Lexie grins sheepishly and shoves a huge bite of French bread into her mouth. "Uh…Chocolate pudding…" she says with her mouthful.

Derek holds the phone in front of Emma. "Emma, what happened?" he asks her.

She points to her picture and smiles brightly. "Ummy!" she shouts as she rubs her hands over her belly.

* * *

I lay down onto the couch and roll onto my side, placing a throw pillow between my legs and one behind my back.

Derek comes in and carefully picks up my feet and places them on his lap as he sits down on the opposite end of the couch. He gently begins rubbing one of my feet, eliciting a low moan from me. "Want the TV on?" he asks.

I smile at him and let out a tired breath. "No. I'm good. Meatball seems to be sleeping, so I'm thinking I'll try and grab a quick nap while I can," I tell him. "The kids asleep?"

Derek smiles at me and picks up my other foot, giving it a much needed massage as I relax into the couch cushions. "Emma just laid down. Jacob informed me he's too old for naps, so he's in his room reading to Panda," he says quietly.

I sigh and place my hand over my stomach as Derek continues massaging my feet. The baby starts turning and I giggle and shake my head. "Ugh…this baby does not want me to sleep, ever," I mutter.

Derek laughs and says, "I'm sorry. I wish you could sleep, Sweetheart." He places my feet down onto his lap and runs his hands up and down my calves. "So…I'm thinking we should start coming up with names for this little one. Meatball will be here in what, two more months? And unless we actually plan on naming her or him Meatball…we should start thinking of something more appropriate for a human." He smiles widely at me and winks.

I laugh at him and nod in agreement. "I know. It's getting down to the wire here. We've got a ton of stuff to do. We don't even have the nursery ready yet. Or bought any clothes or diapers! God, we're slackers this time around, Derek! What happened?"

Derek chuckles and replies, "Jacob and Emma happened. We're busy with them. All the time. But we'll get it done. Don't worry. In the meantime…names. And…it might help if you told me the sex of this little one."

I smile at him and shrug my shoulders. "Why would I know the sex? We both agreed to be surprised again," I remind him. I bite my bottom lip and try not to laugh at his mock glare.

Derek nods and says, "You're right. We did agree to that. But…your Mother's intuition was right about Jacob being a boy, and Emma being a girl…so spill. You know, don't you?" He narrows his eyes playfully at me and waits for me to answer.

I smirk and close my eyes and say, "I'm sorry. I can't tell you. What if I'm wrong? You might be disappointed if it comes out the opposite of what you're expecting."

Derek laughs and scoots my feet off of his lap. He stands up and then kneels in front of my stomach. "Sweetheart, I don't care if this baby is a boy or girl. I just want a healthy newborn. You know that." He lifts the bottom of my shirt and exposes my wiggling belly. He bends forward and places a soft kiss right where the baby is kicking, and then sighs. "I'm so in love with this baby, Mer," he whispers as he turns his head and presses his cheek against my stomach and feels the baby kicking against his face.

I run my fingers through his hair as he smiles at me. I raise an eyebrow and say, "I'm still not telling you."

Derek lifts his head and laughs. He stands up and runs up the stairs, returning a brief moment later with a bottle of lotion and two bottles of nail polish.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he positions himself at the end of the couch again.

He smiles at me and takes my socks off. "Giving you a pedicure," he says quietly. He pours some lotion onto his hands and begins massaging my foot.

"Oh…Derek…God, you have magic fingers…Oh…I really love you," I moan as I close my eyes and snuggle down into the couch.

Derek laughs and continues massaging my feet for several long silent minutes. "So…" he says, breaking the silence as he places both my feet onto his lap. He reaches down on the floor next to him and picks up the nail polish bottles. "Pink or blue?" he asks as he wiggles the bottles in the air.

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Really?" I tease. "You can't wait two more months?"

Derek sighs as he smiles at me. "Really…I can't," he replies, still holding the nail polish in the air in front of his chest.

I giggle at him and let out a dramatic breath. "Fine," I mutter playfully. "Ruin the surprise." I lift my foot and point my toes at one of the bottles.

Derek's smile widens and his whole face lights up. His eyes begin to twinkle and fill with happy tears. "Really?" he asks softly.

I return his happy smile and nod. "Really," I answer.

He tosses the other bottle of polish down onto the floor and lets out an excited breath. He quickly wipes his hand across his eyes and shakes his head at me.

I bite my bottom lip and hold my hand out to him. "Come here," I whisper.

Derek laughs and wipes another tear from his eye. He scoots off the couch and kneels down in front of me. I hug him tightly against my chest as he buries his face into my neck.

"Are you happy?" I ask softly.

He pulls slightly away from my embrace and smiles. He presses his forehead against mine and then kisses me tenderly. "Very happy. You make me so happy, Sweetheart," he whispers as his eyes fill up with tears again.

I smile at him as he wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand. "I'm supposed to be the hormonal one, here, remember?" I tease.

Derek laughs at me through his tears and shakes his head. "Sympathy hormones," he states before laying his cheek down on my chest and running his hand over my stomach as he looks up at me.

I run my fingers through his hair and laugh. "Sympathy hormones? Did you just make that up so you could blame the baby for your severe emotional outburst?"

"Maybe," Derek answers with a chuckle. He takes a deep breath in and says, "I think I just fell more in love with this baby, if that's even possible."

I smile at him and shake my head. "Just think how bad you're going to be when you actually get to see this little one," I say softly. "You're a mess, Derek."

Derek grins at me and whispers, "I know. But you love me anyway."

**Ugh! I know...cheesy. Whatever! I like cheesy! Thanks for reading, and I would love to hear from you! (And no, I'm not telling you the sex of this baby. It's a surprise!)**


	25. Africa

**First, let me apologize for the delay in updating. I've been vacationing...alot this past month. Second, THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed that last chapter. I didn't get a chance to reply to everyone (due to all the vacationing)...but please know that I loved reading all of your comments. It's nice to know people actually enjoy reading about a happy MerDer family. Third, I have to say a HUGE thank you to Lola, who actually read this entire fic in a day...and left a review for every single chapter. Lola, you have no idea how awesome I think you are for doing that. Fourth, I have to pimp out the best epic MerDer love story ever written...go check out 'Dare You To Move'...it's in the rated M section. You won't regret it, I promise. **

I feel Jacob's cool hands flanking my face and I let out a tired sigh.

He squishes my cheeks and whispers, "Mommy…Mommy…Mommy!"

I keep my eyes pressed shut and croak out, "What, Jacob?"

He peels one of my eyelids open with his cold little fingers and giggles. "Daddy says you have to get up or we're going to be late," he replies.

I open my eyes and smile sleepily. "Daddy sent you up here to wake me up?"

Jacob grins back at me as he climbs in bed next to me and says, "Yep. And he said to tell you that he made your favorite breakfast. But you have to hurry up or he'll feed it all to Panda."

I quirk an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure Daddy said that?"

He shrugs his shoulders at me and replies, "I think so."

I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him into a hug as we lay facing each other. "Are you excited about going to the hospital today?" I ask him before pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead.

He shrugs his shoulders again at me and crinkles up his forehead.

I smile at him and brush the hair off his forehead with my thumb. "Is that a no?"

Jacob frowns and places his hands on my stomach. "It sounds boring…are you even sure there's a baby in there?" he asks as he looks down at my belly.

I laugh and nod my head. "Yep. I'm sure."

Jacob's eyes shoot up to meet mine as the baby kicks against his hands. His frown turns into a huge smile as he looks back down and sees my stomach moving. "Is that the baby?" he asks.

"Yep. That's your baby brother or sister kicking your hands. What do you think of that?" I reply as I place my hand on top of his. The baby kicks again and we both laugh.

Jacob smiles widely at me. "That's cool, Mommy!" He waits for the baby to kick him again. "Is it a boy? I asked Santa for a little brother, remember? It has to be a boy!" he says.

"It might be, but we won't know until it's born, Jacob. It might be a sister, too, you know," I explain. I poke his nose softly with my forefinger.

He sighs dramatically before saying dejectedly. "Another messy sister? I'm gonna have to move to Africa." He lets out a huff and scoots off the bed.

I watch him run out of the bedroom door, slamming it on the way out. I take a deep cleansing breath in and exhale slowly as the baby continues kicking. "Africa," I mutter as I smooth my hand over my stomach.

* * *

"Morning," I say as I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table. I smile at Derek as he takes Emma's tray off of her highchair.

"Morning," he says softly through his smile. He sets the tray on the table and unbuckles Emma.

"Hi MaMa!" she says as Derek lifts her out of her seat. She rushes over to me and I lift her up onto my lap.

I kiss the top of her head and she smiles up at me. "Hi, baby girl," I say softly.

She leans her head back against my chest and grabs my watch with both hands. Her little fingers play with the silver links as she studies the watch in fascination.

Derek stands up and walks over to me. "Hungry?" he asks with a smirk.

I smile at him and reply, "Is that question even necessary?"

He laughs and shakes his head. "No. I suppose not." He leans down and places a soft warm coffee kiss on my lips.

I sigh as he pulls away and walks to the microwave. "So…it seems our son may be moving to Africa when this baby arrives," I say quietly as I run my hand over Emma's dark curls.

Derek starts the microwave and raises his eyebrows at me. "Africa?" he asks as he grabs a fork out of the drawer.

I nod and reply, "Apparently, one baby sister is all he can handle. So unless this little one pops out with a penis…he's out of here."

Derek laughs and runs his hand over his stubble-covered jaw. He sucks in a breath and says, "Africa…that's an awfully long airplane ride." He grabs my plate of food out of the microwave and brings it to the table.

"Thanks," I say softly as he sets the food in front of me.

He kisses my lips quickly and grabs Emma off of my lap. "Come on, Em. Let Mommy eat." He sets her down on his lap as he sits across from me.

I take a huge bite of French toast and mumble, "Mmm…Derek. This is so good. You put vanilla in the batter."

Derek grins and winks at me.

Emma begins to squirm and he places her down on the floor. She yells, "Jaaaake!" and runs into the living room to find her big brother. We both groan when we hear Jacob shout, "Go away!"

I take another bite and catch Derek staring at me. "What?" I ask with my mouthful of food.

Derek smiles and says, "You look beautiful. You should wear yellow more often."

I can feel myself blushing and I look down at my plate. I swallow my food, inhale deeply, and drop my fork. My hand finds my stomach and I moan.

"What's wrong?" Derek asks as his smile turns into a look of mild panic.

I smile sheepishly at him. "I think I'm full," I say before laughing.

Derek exhales loudly as relief washes over his face. He shakes his head at me. "Two bites and you're full?"

I nod and push my plate out from in front of me. "Full. Finally," I say appreciatively as I lean back in my chair and sigh.

* * *

"Slow down, Jacob!" Derek shouts as we walk towards the front doors of the hospital. He shifts Emma to his other hip and reaches down for my hand.

I entwine my fingers with his and smile at him. "He seems excited…maybe that's a good sign," I say.

"Excited…either that or he's trying to escape. Let's just hope he gets a boy doll…otherwise, he might be on the first plane to Africa as soon as we're not looking," Derek says with a smirk.

We walk into the hospital and swiftly catch up with Jacob as he stands in front of the elevators.

"What floor, Mommy?" he asks as he presses the 'up' button. He reaches for my hand and smiles at me.

"Five, Jake. The babies are on five," I tell him as the elevator doors open.

He runs in and pushes the button for the fifth floor.

Derek and I walk in behind him and scoot to the back of the elevator. Jacob leans back against our legs as we wait for the doors to close.

A small cluster of people enter after us, and Jacob's face lights up when he spots Miranda among the passengers.

"Hi, Dr. Bailey!" he shouts at the top of his lungs as he makes his way through the crowd to stand next to her.

Miranda looks back at us and winks, and then smiles widely down at Jacob. "Hello, Jacob. What are you doing up here on a Saturday morning?"

Jacob crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Daddy is making me learn how to change stinky baby diapers!" he says with a loud huff.

Miranda and the other passengers chuckle at Jacob's outburst, and she says, "Ah…Daddy signed you up for the Super Sibling class, huh?"

Jacob nods at her.

She bends over and whispers loudly into his ear, "It's not so bad, Jacob. They give you all the animal crackers and juice you can handle when it's over."

Jacob's smile returns and the elevator stops. "Yes! I get free cookies!" he shouts.

* * *

"Hey everyone! Welcome to the Super Sibling class. My name is Dr. Izzie, and I'm going to help all of you…" Izzie begins as she points to the small circle of children sitting on the floor in front of her, "…become AMAZING big brothers and sisters. So…let's get started by telling me all of your names, and if you want to, you can tell us your new baby's name, too." She points her finger at Jacob and grins. "Why don't you go first, big guy. Tell us your name."

Jacob slaps his forehead with his hand and says flatly, "Izzie, you already know my name. You've known me my whole entire life! Don't be ridiculous."

Derek snorts and I elbow him in the gut. I offer Izzie a sympathetic smile as she glances over at us.

She grins at Jacob. "Right. Well…can you tell everyone else your name then?"

Jacob rolls his eyes and sighs. "My name is Jacob Christopher Shepherd…" he says as he points his thumb to his chest, "and this," he continues as he points his thumb to his sister sitting next to him, "is my little sister Emma. She's messy, but we love her anyway. At least that's what Daddy says. Even when she's covered in mud."

I groan and slide down in my chair a little as he continues rambling.

"And those back there," he says as he points to Derek and me, "are my parents. I asked Santa for a baby brother, so that's what's in Mommy's tummy. That's why her tummy is sooooooooo big. Cuz of the baby boy. And I'm naming him Panda, just like my dog." He smiles happily at Izzie.

Izzie's eyes get big as she waits for him to finish talking, and she can't help but smile widely at him. "Are you sure it's a boy? Your mommy told me you don't know for sure yet. Do you have a girl named picked out just in case it's a baby sister?" she asks as she looks at me and winks.

I slump down a little further into my chair and pinch the bridge of my nose with my forefinger and thumb.

Jacob takes a deep breath and sighs. "Well, if it's a girl baby…which it's NOT…because Santa heard what I asked for…I guess we'll have to call her Stinky. And then I'm moving to Africa."

Derek and I both groan as every adult in the room turns and looks at us with amusement.

"He's your child," I mumble to Derek as I absentmindedly rub my stomach.

* * *

Jacob giggles loudly as he watches Emma unsuccessfully try to put a diaper on her doll. "Not like that, Emma! Like this!" he shouts at her as he shows off his perfectly diapered baby (boy) doll.

Derek sits down on the floor behind Emma, with his legs around hers, and he tries to help her fasten the tabs on the diaper.

"No, DaDa!" she yells at him as she yanks the doll off the floor. She clutches the doll tightly against her chest and glares up at Derek. "Go way!"

I laugh and stand up as I watch Derek become flustered at his daughter's newly found determination/stubbornness.

My hands instinctively find their place on my lower back and I let out a long yawn as I watch Emma drop the baby onto the ground.

Derek grins up at me in amusement as Emma again tries to wrap the diaper on her doll.

She finally gets frustrated and picks the doll up and throws it with both hands towards Izzie. "Go way!" she shouts angrily.

"She's your child," he teases as he winks at me.

* * *

I walk into the bedroom and maneuver myself awkwardly onto the bed. I lay on my side and place a pillow under my stomach and one between my knees.

Derek comes in and takes my shoes and socks off for me as he sits down at the foot of the bed. "You okay?" he asks as he lightly rubs my ankles with his warm hands.

I sigh and close my eyes. "Mmhmm…just tired, and sore. My back is killing me. And my tailbone feels like someone hit it with a sledgehammer," I say quietly as I relax into Derek's healing touch.

He sets my feet down and stands up. "Be right back," he says before leaning down and kissing me softly on the lips.

I open my eyes and watch him walk out of the bedroom. I smile as he returns with the baby monitor in his hand.

He sets it down on the nightstand and kicks his shoes off before crawling in bed behind me. "The kids are in Emma's room practicing their diapering skills on her stuffed puppy. I told them they could play for a few minutes until nap time," he tells me as he lifts the hem of my shirt slightly and begins to knead my lower back with the palm of his hand.

I moan appreciatively as he soothes my aching muscles.

We both laugh as we listen to Jacob giving Emma instructions on how to spread the diaper out so it fits just right over the baby's butt.

Moments later, they both start giggling hysterically. I turn my face to look at Derek and say, "What do you think that's all about?"

Derek shakes his head and smirks. "I have no idea, but it's probably nothing good," he replies.

We hear Panda bark over the intercom and Jacob yells, "Panda, come back! I didn't get your diaper on yet!"

I laugh out loud and say, "Those are both your children."

Derek groans as he crawls out of bed. "Be right back," he says as he shakes his head at me.

I laugh again as I close my eyes.

Derek returns moments later carrying Emma at arm's length in front of him.

I open my eyes and place my hand over my mouth as I try unsuccessfully to keep from laughing at the sight of Emma covered head-to-toe in baby powder.

"Not funny," Derek says with a smirk.

Emma smiles widely at me and waves a baby powder covered hand at me. "Hi, MaMa!" she says happily as her blue eyes twinkle through her extremely white complexion.

"You don't even want to see Panda right now," he says with a chuckle as he walks into the bathroom with Emma. "He's covered in powder…can't even see his black spots. And your son…" he shouts as he starts the water in the tub, "…is almost as white as Emma. He's taking a shower…by himself…because he didn't want me looking at his 'manhood'. Where the hell did they get all that powder, anyway?"

I laugh and place my hands over my stomach. "God…stop making me laugh, Derek. It hurts," I say through my laughter.

Derek peeks out from the bathroom door and holds up Emma's clothes. He gives them a tiny shake and an avalanche of powder falls onto the floor.

I shut my eyes again and lightly run my hands over my belly. "Ugh. This place is a zoo…sorry, baby."

* * *

"Aw, man! It's raining hard! And thundering!" Jacob shouts as he stands on the couch and looks out the window. He plops down on the cushion, folds his arms over his chest, and proceeds to pout.

Emma and I look up from our place in the recliner at him. "Shhh!" Emma says as she holds her finger over her mouth. She pulls on my hands to make me bring the book we are reading back up to her eye level.

"Jake, Daddy told you it was going to rain. He'll take you fishing tomorrow morning, if it stops storming," I tell him. "Maybe we can have a movie night instead, ok?"

Jacob looks up at me and places his hands behind his head. "Can I pick the movie?" he asks.

I smile and nod my head 'yes'.

Jacob jumps off the couch and runs up the stairs.

I look back down at the book and continue reading to Emma. She sticks her thumb in her mouth and leans her head against my chest as she snuggles further next to me in the chair.

"I got one!" Jacob shouts as he runs back down the stairs. He holds the dvd case in front of me and grins.

"The Lion King…again? Aren't you tired of that one?" I ask him.

He shakes his head at me. "Nope. It's all about Africa. You know, the place that I'm moving to if I don't get a brother," he explains.

* * *

Derek spreads a large blanket down on the floor and tosses some throw pillows down on it. The kids both flop down on their bellies and smile at Derek as he covers them up with an afghan. He goes into the kitchen and brings out two big bowls of popcorn, and sets one down on the floor between the kids. They both grin up at him and Emma says, "Tanks, Dada!"

"You're welcome, Em," he says as he winks at her. He walks over to the couch where I am sprawled out on my side, and sets the other bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. "Is this ok?" he asks as he lays down on the couch in facing me. He scoots down so that his face is even with the top of my stomach. He wedges his knee in between my ankles and wraps his arm around my thighs.

I shake my head at him and smile. "It's fine for me, but you're not going to be able to see the movie looking at my stomach," I tease as I run my hand through his hair.

He laughs and looks up at me. "I've seen this one before. Besides, this is much more interesting," he replies. He reaches down and pulls a blanket up over us, and he settles himself back in front of me. His hands snake under my shirt and he lightly rubs my stomach with his warm hands.

I move his hand to the underside of my belly and say, "The tush is here right now…" I slide his hand up and continue, "…and here's the head. Can you feel it?"

Derek grins up at me and nods. "Hey, little one," he says softly before pressing a tender kiss onto my stomach where the baby's head is.

Emma sits up and says, "Dada! Shhhh!" as she holds her finger over her mouth. She glares at us and then flops herself back down on her stomach.

Derek whispers, "She is getting so bossy. She is definitely yours."

I laugh and place my hand on top of his as he rests it on the side of my stomach. "I know. We're both very bossy girls. But you love us anyway," I tell him.

Derek sighs and closes his eyes as he snuggles closer to me. "I do. I love my bossy girls," he whispers.

"What are you going to do if this little one is a bossy girl, too?" I ask him.

He smirks and whispers, "I'm moving to Africa with Jacob."

**Thank you for reading! Comments are adored (and greatly appreciated)...really they are.**


	26. Flowers and Fireflies

**Thank you for all of your generous comments on that last chapter! I appreciate them so much...enjoy the fluff!**

I walk quietly into the dark bedroom, ungracefully slip my clothes and shoes off, and drop them into a pile on the floor. I pull a pair of Derek's sweat pants and one of his t-shirts out of his drawer and shrug them on. Derek lets out a loud sigh and wakes up when I climb into bed.

"My god, what time is it?" he grumbles. He opens his eyes and sits up as I roll onto my side.

"Midnight," I say softly as I tuck a pillow between my knees. "You were supposed to wait up for me."

Derek cuddles up next to me and pulls the blanket up to our stomachs. He wraps one arm around my waist and kisses me softly. "Sorry. Jacob made us go on a firefly hunting expedition down by the lake. And your daughter refused to walk, so I had to carry her the entire way there…and back. I guess it wore me out. Long surgery?" he asks before quickly kissing me again.

I close my eyes and exhale. "Yeah. I had to page Cristina to come in and finish for me. I think this is it," I tell him. My hands find their way under his shirt and I let my fingers dance along his chest.

"It?" he asks.

I open my eyes and smile. "It. As in…the end of the road. No more surgery. No more cutting. I'm too enormous. This baby is huge and is using my bladder as a hammock. I have to pee every five minutes. It makes surgery a little difficult. So yeah…this is it."

"Ahh…." he replies before pressing his warm lips onto my forehead. "It. I'm sorry."

I grin sheepishly at him. "Hmm…I'm not," I tease.

Derek pulls his face away from mine and studies my face. "You're not? Because, when you had to give up surgery with Jacob and Emma, you cried…a lot." He raises an eyebrow at me and smirks.

I laugh and say, "Not this time. This time, I'm going to lay in bed and do nothing but let you give me massages and feed me strawberry ice cream. All day long for the next four weeks until this baby is born."

Derek smiles widely at me. "That's your plan?"

"Yes. That's my plan," I tease.

"Sounds like a good plan," he whispers as he snuggles up closer to me. He kisses me softly and closes his eyes.

"Derek?" I whisper into the darkness.

"Mmhmm?"

"Why is Steve's car in the driveway?" I ask.

Derek opens his eyes and smiles. "Lexie kicked him out of the apartment. She claims it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride on their wedding day until the exact moment she walks down the aisle."

I roll my eyes and reply, "That's ridiculous."

"Ridiculous," Derek says flatly. "You don't believe in luck?"

"I don't believe in superstitions. I mean, if that were true, our marriage would have ended a long time ago…and I know that you know what I'm talking about," I explain.

"I know? What do I know?" he teases as he moves his hand softly over my stomach.

"You know what I'm talking about, Derek Shepherd," I say with a giggle.

Derek smirks and wiggles his eyebrows at me. "Are you referring to our pre-wedding super secret sexy rendezvous?"

I laugh and reply, "You know that's what I'm referring to. We had sex…secret sex…twice…the morning of our wedding. We saw plenty of each other, and we have a great marriage. So I do believe we've proven that superstition wrong."

Derek grins at me and then presses his lips to mine in a soft, lingering kiss. "We do," he whispers against my mouth.

I place my hands on his cheeks and smile. "We do what?" I whisper back.

"Have a great marriage," he says softly. He runs his hand around my waist and down my back. His fingers hook under the back of my knee and he pulls my leg gently on top of his.

My heart starts to race as he buries his face in the crook of my neck and places soft warm kisses on my skin. "What are you doing?" I whisper breathlessly.

I feel his lips turn into a smile against my neck and he mumbles, "Thinking of having a super secret sexy rendezvous with you…right…now."

My fingers tangle in the back of his hair as his mouth continues exploring my neck. "Mmm…I like the way you think," I moan.

* * *

Daylight pours through the curtains and I pull the sheet up over my face in an attempt to stay asleep. I groan when our bedroom door flies open and Jacob runs in.

"Mommy!" he whispers loudly as he climbs onto the bed next to me. He lays down in front of me, pulls the sheet off of my face, and smiles widely. "Mommy, can Uncle Steve take me and Em outside to swing?" he whispers.

Derek chuckles and buries his face in the back of my neck as he spoons himself closer to me. He moves his hand under my shirt to my stomach and lightly rubs circles against my skin.

"Yes, but you have to eat breakfast first," I reply.

Jacob jumps off the bed and quickly vanishes out the door. "UNCLE STEVE! MOMMY SAID YOU HAVE TO COOK US CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES FOR BREAKFAST AND THEN TAKE US OUTSIDE TO THE SWINGSET!" he yells as he runs down the stairs.

Derek and I groan.

"I'll go cook breakfast," Derek grumbles. He presses his lips to my neck and kisses me softly. "Why don't you get a shower and we can eat on the patio together when you're finished."

I smile and say, "Or…we could just stay in bed and have another super sexy secret rendezvous."

Derek laughs and then we both groan when Jacob runs back into the room.

"Daddy, Uncle Steve says he doesn't know how to cook anything but cereal, and Emma won't stop screaming at him. I think he's going to cry or something," Jacob says as he shrugs his shoulders.

Derek and I sigh in unison.

"Breakfast?" I mutter.

"Shower?" he mutters.

"See you on the patio," I grumble.

* * *

I stand under the shower head and close my eyes as the warm water cascades down my back. My hands run lightly over my stomach and I smile when the baby kicks. "Morning, Sweetie," I say. I open my eyes and grab my razor and shaving gel off of the shelf. I sit down on the bench, set the razor next to me, and pop the lid off of the gel. "Damn it," I mutter as I try to bend over to lather up my legs. A heavy sigh escapes my lips and I lean my head back against the shower wall. I close my eyes in an effort to keep angry embarrassed tears from forming.

The bathroom door opens and Derek sticks his head in. "Hey," he says. "Breakfast is ready. You about finished?"

I sniffle and croak out, "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute."

Derek hesitates and then walks into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He opens the door to the shower stall and looks down at me. "What's wrong?" he asks. He kneels down beside me and places his hand over my stomach. "Meredith, what's wrong?"

I groan and place my hands over my face to hide my tears. "Nothing. I'm just being hormonal. I'll be down in a minute," I grumble.

Derek reaches up and grabs my hands. He pulls them away from my face and entwines his fingers with mine. "Meredith. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong," he says softly.

I roll my eyes at him and huff.

He rubs his thumbs over mine and smiles at me.

I close my eyes again and lean my head back against the wall. "I'm huge," I mutter.

"You're eight months pregnant. And you're beautiful," he says as he releases my hands. He reaches down and places his hands over my stomach.

I sigh and say grumpily, "I can't shave my legs."

Derek chuckles and abruptly stops as I lift my head and glare at him. He clears his throat and says, "Ok. You can't shave your legs."

I push his hands off of my stomach and fold my arms across my chest. A few angry hormonal tears escape and slide down my cheeks. "It's not funny. I need to shave my legs, Derek. Lexie is forcing me to put on this hideous pink dress and walk down the aisle in front of everyone like a giant flamingo…and I'm going to have hairy legs on top of that. I'll be an enormous hairy-legged flamingo. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is going to be?"

Derek smiles at me and stands up. He quickly yanks his shirt off and tosses it onto the floor. He unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down along with his boxers.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask him as I quirk an eyebrow.

He grins wickedly at me as he walks into the shower and shuts the door behind him. "I'm going to shave your legs. Give me your razor," he says as he drops down to his knees in front of me.

I bite my bottom lip and look at him nervously. "Well…where are the kids? And…you've never shaved my legs before. I'm…just…are you sure?"

Derek shakes his head at me and grabs the razor from the bench. "The kids are outside with Steve. And do I really have to remind you that I'm a brain surgeon? I have steady hands. Have some faith," he teases. He holds his hand out in front of me and says, "Give me some cream."

I laugh through my unwanted tears and pick up the shaving gel. I shake my head and squirt a large amount onto his hand. He grins widely at me and rubs the gel softly up and down both of my legs.

"Razor," Derek says softly as he holds his hand out towards me.

I bite my bottom lip and hand him my razor. Derek winks at me and slowly rakes his eyes down the length of my body. He carefully scrapes the razor from my ankle to my thigh and rinses it in the warm water as it cascades around him. He sucks in a deep breath as he stares at me and mutters, "Damn, you're beautiful."

I can feel my pulse quicken as Derek moves the razor along my legs again. "How do you do that?" I ask quietly.

Derek rinses the razor and crinkles his forehead at me. "How do I do what?" he replies before shaving another long line up to my thigh.

I take a deep breath in to steady my racing heart, and I reach down to run my fingers through Derek's wet hair. "Manage to make me feel better no matter how horrible I'm feeling."

Derek rinses the razor and shakes his head at me. He smiles and quickly finishes shaving both of my legs. He tosses the razor onto the bench next to me and scoots himself between my legs so that his chest is pressing on my stomach. I tangle my fingers in his wet curls and he wraps his arms around my waist. His deep blue eyes sparkle up at me and he says, "Still feeling bad?"

I nod and bend forward, and Derek raises up on his knees to kiss me. He runs his tongue against my lips and I sigh softly as I open my mouth to let him in. He kisses me tenderly and moves his hands to my hips.

"I'm going to make love to you now," he whispers against my lips.

My breath catches in my throat and I croak out, "You are?"

Derek kisses a slow wet trail from my mouth to my earlobe and he whispers, "I am." His soft lips move down my neck and across my collarbone and I moan. Derek runs his hands down my thighs and back up my body until he is cupping both of my breasts. He lifts his head to look at me, and he smiles before ducking his head down and kissing his way from one breast to the other. He takes my nipple in his mouth and tenderly kisses and bites and licks it until I turn into a panting mess.

"Jesus, Derek…" I moan as he kisses his way between my breasts and down my stomach. He pulls my hips forward and then presses his soft lips to my inner thigh. My fingers tangle in his hair again as he moves his warm tongue slowly towards my seam. I spread my legs further and Derek expertly reaches down and places one of my legs over his shoulder. His tongue finds my clit and I tilt my head back against the shower wall and close my eyes.

"Feeling better yet?" he mutters between licks.

I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. "Mm…all…most," I moan.

* * *

"Breakfast is probably cold," Derek teases as we walk hand-in-hand down the stairs.

I laugh and say, "Well, whose fault is that? I didn't force you to come into the shower with me."

Derek opens the front door and winks at me as I walk past him. "I didn't hear you complaining," he replies. He grabs my hand and pulls me flush against his body. "All I heard was very loud moaning," he whispers into my ear. His lips grab my earlobe and he sucks gently.

I wrap my arms around his waist and moan softly as he moves his lips down my neck.

We pull away when we hear Steve awkwardly clear his throat.

Derek smirks and says sarcastically, "Steve. Perfect timing. As always." I laugh as I pull away from Derek and waddle over to the patio table.

Steve clears his throat again and says, "Right. Sorry. It's just…I need to get a shower and you know…get ready for my wedding…and well, Emma…just…" He points his thumb toward the backyard.

Derek chuckles and shakes his head. "Emma…just…what?"

Steve takes a big breath and says, "Emma won't get off the teeter-totter. She won't budge. And I think she might have called me a bad word but I can't tell for sure since she's, you know, so little and can't really talk yet. But it sounded like she called me a butt face."

I bite my bottom lip and try not to laugh. "Steve," I say flatly.

Steve looks nervously at me and answers, "Yes?"

I shake my head at him and say, "Go get a shower."

Steve nods and runs into the house.

Derek walks around to the backyard and comes back a short moment later carrying Emma on his shoulders.

Emma spots me and unlatches one of her hands from Derek's hair and waves to me. "Hi Mama!" she says through her enormous grin.

Derek climbs up the front steps and lifts Emma off of his shoulders. He kisses her cheek quickly before setting her down on the patio. Emma runs over to me and her little bare feet slap on the concrete.

I lift her up and settle her down on my lap. "Hey, Emma. Where are your shoes?" I ask as I run my fingernail along the bottom of one of her dirty bare feet.

Emma giggles and leans forward and inspects her foot. She grins up at me and says, "I doe no."

"You don't know?" I ask.

She shakes her head and frowns. "I doe no, Mama."

Derek sits down across from us and winks at me. "Em, did you call Uncle Steve a bad word?" he asks her.

Emma sighs and shakes her head again. "I doe no, Dada."

Derek gives her his stern face and says firmly, "Emma, you can't call people bad words. You have to be nice, ok?"

Emma puckers out her bottom lip and tears form in her bright blue eyes. "Otay, Dada," she says softly. She sniffles and big fat tears roll down her cheeks. She shoves her thumb into her mouth and leans her curly dark head back against my chest.

Derek looks at me with a heartbroken expression. "I made her cry," he whispers. He stands up and walks over to me. "Come here, Em," he mutters as he reaches down and grabs Emma from my lap.

Emma pulls her thumb out of her mouth and wraps her arms around Derek's neck. He walks back over to his chair and sits down with her. She buries her face into his chest as he rubs slow circles onto her back.

"Mommy! Look!" Jacob yells as he leaps up the front steps. Panda runs up the steps after him and dashes under the table next to my feet. Jacob runs over to the table and places a jar full of bugs in front of me.

I scrunch my nose up and pick up the jar. "What are these?" I ask.

Jacob grins and says, "Fireflies. Me and Daddy caught them last night when you was working. Did you know their butts light up?" He turns his body sideways and points to his butt. "Can I take these up to my room and let them go in my closet?"

Derek and I both answer emphatically, "No!"

Jacob groans, "Aw, man!" and walks away dejectedly. "Come on, Panda," he mutters sadly. Panda scurries out from under the table and walks sadly behind Jacob around the house to the backyard.

I look at Derek and smirk, "Are we the worst parents ever today?"

Derek smiles and then buries his nose in the top of Emma's hair. "Maybe," he replies.

* * *

"So, we'll see you boys at the church, right?" I say as Derek finishes buckling Emma into her car seat behind me.

"Right. Two o'clock sharp. We'll be there," Derek says before kissing both of Emma's cheeks. "Bye, Em," he tells her.

Emma reaches up and grabs Derek's nose. "Bye, Dada. Honk!" she says with a giggle as she squeezes Derek's nose.

Derek laughs and shuts the door. He leans into my window and says, "Be careful, Meredith. Are you sure you don't want me to drive you?" He tilts his head and gives me 'the look'.

I raise my eyebrow at him and say, "I'm sure. We'll be fine. And you have to make sure Steve doesn't chicken out. And make sure Jacob doesn't forget his bow tie. He's been trying to hide it for the past three days. And don't forget the rings. They're on our dresser."

Derek shakes his head at me and says, "Anything else?"

I wink at him and say, "Nope. That's it."

He leans in the window and gives me a kiss. "Love you," he whispers against my lips.

"Love you, too," I whisper back.

* * *

"Are you nuts? I'm not wearing my hair like that. It looks like a possum died on that woman's head. No way," I tell Lexie as she holds a cut-out magazine photo in front of me.

She pulls the photo away from me and studies it. "What? I like it. I think you'll look cute with your hair pulled up like this," she says. She hands the picture to the hairdresser, and the hairdresser nods and smiles. Lexie walks over to the little table Emma is coloring at and sits down next to her.

The hairdresser steps behind me and starts to brush my hair. I glare at her reflection in the mirror and say, "Don't even think about it."

* * *

"Ok. Oh God. Crisis!" Lexie yells as she flips her cell phone shut.

Cristina and I both stare at her as she begins to pace back and forth frantically.

"Steve's niece is sick. She's throwing up and has a fever! So now I don't have a flower girl! Crap! This is bad, right? I have to have a flower girl. It's a tradition. If I don't have a flower girl, my marriage could be jinxed! Bad luck! Divorce! Crap! What am I going to do?" she rambles nervously.

Cristina snorts and shakes her head. "Chill, Lexie. Just find another munchkin. How hard is it to throw flowers on the ground?"

Lexie stops pacing and says, "Right. You're right! I'll just get another munchkin." She snaps her fingers and says, "Emma could do it! Right? Emma could do it?"

I roll my eyes and say, "Emma is only nineteen months old, Lex. I don't think she's old enough. It would be different if she was at the rehearsal Thursday and knew what to do. I don't think it's a good idea."

Lexie clasps her hands together and begs, "Please, Mer. Please don't ruin my marriage."

* * *

"Can you just…pull the damn zipper, Cristina!" I yell with frustration as I brace myself on the corner of the wall.

Cristina yanks on the back of my dress and says, "I am pulling! Jesus, Meredith! I thought this dress fit you a few weeks ago." She yanks on the zipper some more and then throws her hands up in the air. "I give up. That zipper isn't budging. And unless that baby falls out within the next forty-five minutes, you're going to be walking down the aisle in your underwear. Sorry, Mer. The dress doesn't fit. Your stomach is too…big." She wrinkles up her nose as she looks at my enormous pregnant belly.

"Thanks. Thank you, Cristina. You always know just what to say to make me feel better," I say sarcastically. I place my hands over my face and yell, "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!"

I fold my arms over my chest and close my eyes. I take a deep breath in and try not to cry.

"Oh. Okay. You're freaking out. You can't freak out," Cristina says nervously. "Well, the good news is that at least you don't have to wear that hideous dress. You said it made you look like a flamingo."

I open my eyes and glare at her.

"Um…I'll just go…get Derek," she mutters as she walks backwards out of the room.

I turn around and place my forehead against the wall. Big hot tears roll down my embarrassed face and I fold my arms over my stomach.

I flinch when the door opens and then closes. I hear the lock on the door click.

"Hey," Derek says softly as he walks up behind me. "Hey, Meredith. It's ok," he whispers as he wraps his arms over mine.

I snort and lift my head up. "How is this possibly ok, Derek? My sister is getting married in less than an hour, and I'm so huge that I can't even zip my stupid dress up!" I say angrily.

Derek presses his lips onto my neck and then spins me around so that I am facing him. He lifts my arms and places them around his neck. He uses the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears from my face.

I roll my eyes and bury my tear-stained face into his chest.

Derek moves his hands slowly up and down my back. "It's ok. Just calm down. Relax," he whispers.

I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly as Derek's fingers run up and down my spine, and I melt into his touch.

Derek grabs the zipper and slowly pulls it up. "See? I told you it's ok," he says softly.

I pull away from him and say, "It's up?"

Derek grins and says, "It is." He brushes a strand of hair off my forehead and smiles at me.

I smile sheepishly at him and wipe my tears with the back of my hand. "Thanks," I mutter.

Derek leans forward and gives me a soft healing kiss. "You're welcome," he mutters back. "And you know what I'm thinking now?" he asks as he wraps his arms tightly around my back.

I quirk an eyebrow at him and say, "What?"

Derek wiggles his brows at me and replies, "We should have a super secret sexy rendezvous. Come on, Meredith. It could be just like our wedding day." His hands move down to my ass and he squeezes gently.

I laugh and shake my head. "Derek! We don't have time…plus everyone is already out there…waiting. They'd know!" I moan as Derek pulls the bottom of my dress up and his fingers begin to move across my panties. "Crap," I mutter as my breathing begins to become ragged. "Just, hurry up! And don't give me sex hair…and leave my zipper alone!"

* * *

"Feeling better?" Cristina says sarcastically as I walk into the bridal dressing room. She folds her arms over her chest and smirks.

"Yeah, Derek got my zipper up," I say with a smile.

"Mmhm…" Cristina teases. "I bet he got it up alright. You and your super secret sexy rendezvous." She shakes her head at me and glares playfully.

"Shut up!" I say embarrassedly. I avoid Cristina's knowing gaze and walk over to Lexie. "You look amazing, Lex. Really beautiful," I tell her.

Lexie turns and looks at herself in the mirror. "I'm so nervous I could puke," she mumbles. "Am I making a mistake? I mean, what if this is a mistake? What if Steve is the wrong guy? Oh, God. I'm definitely going to puke." She holds her hand over her mouth and looks helplessly at me.

I smile and say firmly, "No. Lexie. No. You are not going to puke. You are going to walk down that aisle and you are going to marry Steve. And you're going to spend the rest of your life happily married to him. And you're going to buy a really big house and have five geeky children and you might even get a dog someday…a really geeky dog. But right now, in this moment, you are going to take a deep breath…" I inhale deeply and she does the same. "…and you're going to exhale slowly."

She exhales.

"And now, you're going to march yourself down the aisle and marry the love of your life. Got it?" I say sternly.

Lexie bites her bottom lip. "Mer?" she says timidly.

I sigh and smile. "Yes?"

Lexie returns my smile and says, "Thanks." She bites her bottom lip again and tears well up in her eyes.

My smile fades and I say, "What's wrong now?"

Lexie smiles timidly at me and asks, "Do you think Derek would walk me down the aisle? I mean, I know he's not my dad. But…you know, since dad isn't here anymore…do you think Derek would?"

I scrunch my forehead up and say, "I thought you wanted to walk yourself down the aisle…do the whole 'Independent Woman' thing like I did."

She shrugs her shoulders and says, "Yeah, I did, too. But now…I think I'd like Derek to give me away. He's my big brother. I want him to give me away."

I smile at her and nod. "Yeah. I'll be right back," I tell her. I walk out of the bridal room and into the chapel. I spot Derek in the front row and walk up to him. "I need you," I say with a smirk as I hold my hand out to him.

Miranda groans from her spot directly behind him and teases, "Oh come on, Shepherd! Not again!"

Derek stands up and we both look innocently at her.

She puckers up her lips and says playfully, "Mmhm…we all know about the sneaking. You're bad sneakers!"

* * *

"Ok, Jacob. You and Emma are going to follow me down the aisle, right? And you're going to smile and walk slow so your baby sister can keep up with you?" I say as I reach down and straighten up his tie.

He frowns and pulls at his tie. "Mommy, this tie makes me look ridiculous!" he says.

I straighten his tie again and say, "I know. This dress makes me look ridiculous, too. But, we're wearing it for Aunt Lex, remember? It's her wedding day and we just have to do it for her so she'll be happy, ok?"

Jacob sighs and says, "Ok, Mommy."

The music begins to play and I quickly say, "Emma, remember to drop the flowers onto the floor when you walk, ok?"

Emma grins at me and says, "Otay, Mama."

I turn and face the chapel door just as it opens. I smile and walk carefully up the aisle to the alter, and then turn to watch Emma and Jacob. They both stand frozen in the doorway with petrified expressions on their faces. Derek walks up behind them and gives them a little push. Jacob reaches down and grabs Emma's hand and quickly leads her up the aisle. They stop halfway up and Jacob whispers, "Emma, throw down the flowers!"

Emma looks into her little basket of pink rose petals and grabs a handful. She throws them onto the ground and yells, "Uh oh, Jake!" She bends over and tries to scoop them back into her basket.

Jacob slaps his forehead and puts his little ring carrying pillow down on the carpet. He scoops up the petals and puts them back into Emma's basket. He picks up his pillow, grabs her hand again, and leads her the rest of the way to the alter. Jacob lets go of her hand and stands on the step below Steve. Steve holds his hand out and Jacob gives him a high-five.

Emma walks up to me and holds her basket up. "Look, Mama! Fwowers!" she says proudly.

I laugh and shake my head at her. I hold my hand out and she grabs it with her tiny fingers.

We both look at the back of the church as the wedding march begins to play and the congregation rises. "Dada!" Emma yells excitedly as she spots Derek walking Lexie towards the alter. Derek winks at her and smiles widely at me as he stops in front of the steps.

The minister says his opening prayer, and Derek gives his blessing to Lexie. She kisses him quickly on the cheek, and he takes his seat in the front row. Emma runs down the steps to him and climbs onto his lap. She shows him her basket of flowers and he chuckles before placing a kiss onto her forehead.

* * *

I plop myself down on Derek's lap as we wait for the reception to start.

His hand instinctively finds my stomach and he smiles widely when the baby kicks against his fingers. "You ok?" he asks softly.

I wrap one arm around his neck and place the other one on his chest. "Yeah. Just need to get off my feet," I reply. I grin and place my hand on top of his as the baby kicks again. "Are you ok?" I tease.

Derek chuckles and says, "Yeah. I'm just thinking." He runs his thumb over my stomach.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Thinking about what?" I ask him.

He shrugs his shoulders and says quietly, "About our wedding day. It was the best day of my life."

I smile and say, "Really?"

Derek nods and says, "Really."

I place my hand on his cheek and say, "You're such a sap."

Derek laughs and says, "I can't help it. This wedding is toxic."

I giggle and say, "Really? You're blaming your sappiness on the wedding?"

Derek grins and says, "Yep. Look what it's doing to Cristina." He nods his head over to the next table.

I laugh out loud when I spot Cristina using a napkin to play peek-a-boo with Emma.

Cristina hears me laugh and she glares at me. Emma places the napkin over Cristina's face and yanks it off. Cristina yells, "Boo!" and makes Emma giggle.

I laugh and shake my head. "You're right. This wedding is definitely toxic." I place both my hands on Derek's cheeks and say, "I love you."

Derek smiles at me and whispers, "Now who's being sappy?"

**Thanks for reading! Comments are adored! (Oh...and just a small warning...I'll be wrapping this fic up shortly...there are two chapters left in this little story) **


	27. I wub you

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews for my last chapter...your response was truly humbling and overwhelming. I didn't get a chance to thank everyone personally, so here is a big huge THANKS to all of you!! Your kindness makes me smile big...I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

"How bad is it?" Derek asks softly as he snuggles closer behind me in the dark. He pulls the comforter up over our arms, and then gently runs his hand on the underside of my stomach.

I place my hand on top of his and sigh. "Not bad. I can barely feel anything. It's just…uncomfortable," I tell him. I glance at the alarm clock and then close my eyes. "It's been over forty-five minutes since the last one…maybe I'm not even in labor. It could just be Braxton-Hicks."

Derek rests his cheek against my ear and lets out a sleepy breath. "Mm…could be. Or you really could be in labor. This could be the day we finally get to see our baby," he says softly before pressing a warm kiss onto my neck.

I reach behind me and place my hand on his cheek. "Mm…could be. Or this baby might just be giving us a wake-up call telling us to get our crap together . We still have to get the nursery finished. And…we haven't agreed on a middle name for this little one. This baby definitely can't be born today."

Derek's mouth turns up into a smile against my neck. "I don't really think that's up to you now, is it?" he teases. "If this baby wants out, this baby is going to come out, no matter how ready we are or aren't."

"Let's go back to sleep," I whisper as I tuck my arm back under the covers.

Derek nods his response and lays his head on the pillow behind me. "Meredith?" he whispers against the back of my neck.

"Mmhm?"

He rests his hand gently on my stomach and says softly, "We might get to see our baby today."

My breath hitches in my throat and I place my hand on top of Derek's. "Oh, Derek," I whisper as my closed eyes fill with tears.

* * *

I feel Jacob's warm little body curl up in front of me under the covers, and I instinctively wrap my arm around him. "Jake, why are you awake so early?" I ask quietly as I glance up at the alarm clock.

He lays his head against my chest and snuggles as close to me as he can. "I missed you, Mommy," he replies. "I just wanted to hug you. Is that ok?" He lifts his head and looks up at me sweetly. His blue eyes twinkle in the light of the full moon as it shines through the opened curtain.

I sigh and press a kiss onto his forehead. "It's ok, big guy. Just try and go back to sleep, ok?"

"Ok, Mommy," he says before a big yawn escapes his little mouth. He lays his head back down on my chest and we both quickly drift back to sleep.

* * *

I hear Emma begin to fuss over the baby monitor, and Derek groans as he pulls himself away from me. "I'll get her," he mumbles as he tosses the blanket off of himself and climbs out of bed.

"That's good, because I've kind of got a kid on top of me," I mutter as I try to untangle Jacob's legs and arms from around my body.

Jacob squirms and snuggles back up against me.

I hear Derek's footsteps as he walks back into the bedroom. The bed sinks as he climbs back in behind me.

"Hi, Mama," Emma says quietly as she leans down on my arm and looks at me over my shoulder.

I open my eyes and sigh. "Hi, Em. Why are you up so early?" I mutter as she lays down behind me and threads her little hand under my arm.

"I wub you," she whispers.

I giggle and say, "I love you, too, baby girl. Go back to sleep."

Derek wraps his arm around Emma and me as he spoons himself against my back. "You ok?" he asks as his hand tucks in between Jacob's stomach and mine.

I snort and reply, "Yeah. Just a little squished.""Any more contractions?" he whispers in the darkness.

I shake my head slightly. "Not that I've noticed. But I'm more focused on this octopus I've got laying on top of me than anything else."

"Mm…" Derek moans. "Want me to put him back in his bed?"

I sigh and say, "No. He's fine. He'll be awake in an hour anyway." I close my eyes and say, "Go back to sleep."

Derek nods and the room grows quiet again.

* * *

Panda barks softly, and I open my eyes to glare down at him as his big blue puppy eyes stare up at me in the darkness. "Seriously?" I mumble.

He tilts his head and whimpers.

I exhale tiredly and close my eyes. "Fine. But this is the last time," I mutter.

Panda jumps up onto the bed and curls up at my feet. He lays his head on my ankle, and I officially can't move any part of my body below my shoulders.

* * *

"Derek…" I whisper over my shoulder as I lay squished between Jacob and Emma. "Derek!" I move my foot out from under Panda's jaw and kick Derek's leg behind me. Panda lifts his head and yawns before resettling next to my toes.

Derek groans and rolls onto his back. "What?" he mutters.

I let out a grumpy breath and reply, "I need to move…I can't move. I need you to get these kids off of me so I can move."

Derek sits up and whispers, "Are you ok?" He gently pries Emma's arm from my ribcage and scoots her to the middle of the bed.

I roll slightly onto my back and stretch my legs. "No…I need to pee! Bad! And everyone is laying on top of me. Can you come and move Jacob?"

Derek nods and climbs out of bed. He comes around and lifts Jacob up, and carries him around to the other side and lays him down next to Emma. "Need some help?" he asks as he walks back over to me. He crouches over and I wrap my arms around the back of his neck.

"Thanks," I whisper as he helps me stand up from the bed.

He presses a soft kiss to my forehead and then circles his hands around my waist. "You're welcome," he whispers back.

I smirk at him as he holds me tightly against his chest.

He smiles softly and asks, "What is that look for?"

"You're being as clingy as the kids…and I really have to pee," I tease him as I start to pull out of his embrace.

"I'm not being clingy," he challenges. "I was just helping you out of bed."

I smile at him and say, "Uh huh. And what are you doing now?" I look down at his arms as he keeps me pressed against him.

Derek looks down and then grins sheepishly at me as he says, "Being clingy."

* * *

I take a deep breath in as a short, sharp, unexpected contraction suddenly shoots through my stomach. "Whoa, little one. You really are coming out today, aren't you?" I mutter as I wait for the contraction to end. A sudden wave of panic washes over me and I take in another deep breath to steady my racing heart. "You're really coming out today? Derek?!" I yell across the bathroom.

I hear Derek's footsteps move quickly across the bedroom and he flings the bathroom door open. "Mer? What's wrong?" he asks as he rushes in.

I shrug my shoulders and bite my bottom lip. "I'm in labor. I'm really in labor, Derek. I thought I was just imagining things last night, but I wasn't. I'm in labor! This baby is really going to be born today! I'm not ready for this!" I rant with panic in my voice, my hands flinging wildly as I talk.

Derek places his hands on my shoulders and says softly, "Ok. Mer. Slow down. Just breathe and calm down." He moves his hands down to my lower back and pulls me into another hug. "Just breathe, ok? Did you have another contraction?"

I nod and sniffle against his chest as I bury my face in his t-shirt.

"Did it hurt this time?" he asks. He runs his hands up and down my back to soothe me.

I nod again. "A little."

"Ok," he says quietly. "Why don't you get a shower and try to relax. I'll get the kids up and dressed. Just relax, ok? Everything will be ok."

* * *

I walk downstairs and into the kitchen. "Hey," I say as sit down at the table.

Jacob and Emma look up from their plates of food and grin.

"Ook, Mama! Pantakes!" Emma says excitedly as she stabs a piece of pancake with her plastic fork. "I wub pantakes!" She shoves the bite of food into her mouth and chews quickly. She picks up her sippy cup and takes a swig of milk. She tilts her head up and gurgles her milk in her throat. She looks at me and swallows. "Ahhh…I wub milk!" she says with a grin as a few drops of milk dribble down her chin.

I can't help but laugh at her as she innocently stabs another piece of food with her fork.

"Hey, Mommy…guess what?" Jacob asks. He swirls his pancake in the river of syrup on his plate.

Derek winks at me as he sets a plate of food in front of me. I smile up at him as he walks over to his chair and sits across from me.

"What?" I reply.

Jacob shoves his food into his mouth and chews. He holds his finger in the air to motion for me to wait for his answer. He swallows his food dramatically with a 'gulp' and says, "Uncle Steve is going to baby sit me and Em while you go to the hospital and get the baby taked out of your stomach!"

I scrunch my forehead up as I look at Derek and say, "He is?"

Derek nods and replies, "Yeah, Lexie is working, so he volunteered. I thought we should go ahead and get going. Ma said third babies usually come quicker than the first two do."

"Derek. I've had one contraction. One," I tell him as I fidget with my fork. "I don't want to be laying in the hospital bed all day if I don't have to."

Derek smirks and shakes his head at me. "Mer, you've had contractions all night long. Just because they weren't strong, doesn't mean they didn't happen. This is our third baby. I just don't want to wait too long. Remember that woman last year who had the baby on the loading deck of the ferry? It was all over the news. She waited too long. You don't want to give birth on the ferry, do you? "

I snort and roll my eyes.

Jacob looks up from his plate and asks, "Mommy, how does the baby come out of your stomach?" He shoves a bite of food into this mouth and watches me intently.

I look at Derek and he shrugs his shoulders at me. I shake my head at him, and then look at Jacob. "The doctor takes the baby out," I reply nonchalantly.

Jacob scrunches his forehead up and says, "Well, how does she do that? Does she stick her hand in your belly button and grab the baby's feet and pull the baby out?"

Derek chokes on his coffee and laughs.

"Or…does she catch it like a fish? With a hook? Does she use a net?" he asks. Derek chuckles quietly and winks at me.

I smile at Jacob and say, "Not exactly."

Jacob places his cheek in his hand as he rests his elbow on the table. "Well, how does she take it out?"

I open my mouth to answer, and stop when the doorbell rings.

Jacob's face lights up and he hops out of his chair. "Uncle Steve is here!" he yells as he runs out of the kitchen.

Emma claps her sticky hands and says brightly, "I wub Uncle Tebe!"

I grimace as a contraction rips through my stomach. I look up at Derek and he glances at the clock on the microwave.

"Thirty five minutes since your last one," he says. He grabs my hand off the table and holds it tenderly in his.

I nod and breathe through the pain. "Maybe we should go ahead and go. Just to be safe," I say as the contraction subsides.

"I'll call Dr. Abbott and get your bag," he says as he squeezes my hand.

* * *

Derek lifts Emma up in front of me and I place my hands on her cheeks. "Bye, Em. Be good for Uncle Steve. You'll come see Mommy and the new baby at the hospital in a little bit, ok?" I smile at her and give her a quick kiss.

Emma latches her fingers into my hair and begins to cry. "Mama, no! I wub you!" She wiggles out of Derek's grip and heaves herself against me.

I wrap my arms around her tiny frame and sigh. "Em, don't cry. You'll be ok," I say softly as I rub small circles on her back.

She sniffles against my chest as she buries her face in my sweater and begins to sob. Derek unlatches her fingers from my hair and whispers into her ear, "Em, let go of Mommy. It's ok, princess." He pulls her off of me and hugs her tightly against him as she begins to cry harder. "Shh…Em, it's ok," he soothes.

Jacob runs down the stairs and looks up at Emma. "What's the matter with Em?" he asks. He wraps his arms around my leg and presses his cheek against my stomach.

I grimace as another contraction hits. "We need to go, Derek. Now…" I say breathlessly as I place one hand on my stomach and the other on top of Jacob's head.

Derek looks at Steve and says, "Steve, can you handle this?" He hands Emma to Steve and she screams.

Steve looks at me with panic in his eyes as Emma holds her arms out to me. "Yeah, no problem," he lies as he holds on tight to Emma's waist.

Jacob looks up at me and tears form in his eyes.

I offer him a small smile and say, "Jake, help Uncle Steve take care of Em, ok? You'll come up to the hospital later and see me…and the new baby. Give me a kiss." I crouch down a little and Jacob stands on his tiptoes to kiss me.

"I love you, Mommy," he sniffles.

I ruffle his hair and Derek lifts him up. "See you soon, Jake," Derek tells him. He hugs him quickly and sets him back down on the floor.

Jacob's face lights up and he says, "Wait!" He opens the front door and runs outside.

"Derek, we need to go," I mutter as I place my hands on my lower back.

Derek picks my overnight bag up and adjusts the strap over his shoulder. "We're going," he reassures me.

I give Steve a sympathetic look as I walk out the front door. Emma's sobbing grows louder as Derek closes the door behind us.

Jacob runs around the side of the house and yells, "Wait! Daddy! You need this to catch the baby!" He holds out his little Spiderman fishing net to Derek and smiles.

Derek shakes his head and laughs. "Jake, I can't take that into the hospital. It's dirty," he says as he pushes the net back to Jacob.

Jacob's smile disappears and he looks like he's going to cry. "Daddy, you have to take it or the doctor will drop the baby!"

I grab the net out of Jacob's hands and wink at him. "Good thinking, Jake," I tell him as I shove the net against Derek's chest.

Jacob turns and sits down on the porch steps. He puts his chin in his hands as he rests his elbows on his knees. Panda runs out the front door and sits next to Jacob. They both stare sadly at us as we walk to the car.

"Poor Steve," I mutter. "Do you really think he can handle this?"

Derek opens my car door, tosses the net into the backseat, and helps me sit down. "Yeah, he'll be fine. He's watched the kids before," he reassures me. He places a quick kiss on my lips.

"Yeah, but…now it's like a massive pout-fest. Look at all those sad eyes. Steve looks like he's going to cry," I tell him as I motion with my head to the house.

Derek turns and looks at the porch. He chuckles and shakes his head as he stands and closes the car door. He waves towards the house as he walks around the car to his side.

Jacob, Steve, and Emma all wave sadly back. Emma yells, "I wub you, Dada!" and then starts to cry again as she clings to Steve's chest.

* * *

"Can't this damn ferry go any faster?" I say breathlessly as another contraction rips through my stomach.

Derek grimaces as I squeeze his hand. "I'm pretty sure it's going full speed. Just breathe, Meredith, and don't worry about anything else," he soothes as he uses his free hand to smooth the hair away from my forehead.

"Don't worry about anything else? This is the third contraction I've had since we left the house, Derek! And we're not even halfway across the bay! We're not going to make it. I'm going to be the woman on the news who gives birth on the ferry. This is really happening," I ramble nervously as the contraction subsides. I take a deep breath in and lean my head back against my seat. We sit in silence for a few moments as the ferry makes its way across the bay. "This can not be happening. This is all your fault," I grumble as I glare at Derek.

Derek tries not to smile as he rubs his hand gently over my stomach. "This is my fault?" he asks.

"Yes, you made us live in the wilderness…far, far away from civilization. This is your fault, Shepherd," I say grumpily before taking another deep breath in. I look at the clock in the dashboard as another sharp contraction starts. "Oh god. That was less than six minutes, Derek. This is happening too fast." Tears form in my eyes as I look helplessly at Derek. I place my hand on my stomach and breathe through the contraction.

Derek opens his car door and gets out. He quickly makes his way to my side of the car and opens my door. He kneels down beside me and places his arms around my waist. "Turn and lean on me," he says softly.

I wait for the contraction to end, and then slowly turn my body to face Derek. He offers me a small smile as I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder. "I'm scared. Distract me, Derek. Otherwise I'm going to freak out," I tell him.

Derek runs his hands up and down my back slowly and starts to talk softly to me. "Remember the day Jacob was born? The first time we saw him? That tiny round face and that head full of dark hair. He was the littlest baby in the nursery that day, but he had the best hair. And he cried the whole time he was in the nursery, remember? They tried everything…the swing, the rocking chair…but nothing calmed him down. But as soon as I put him in your arms, he stopped crying….like magic. Remember that?"

I smile through my tears and nod.

Derek continues massaging my back and says, "He was a mama's boy right from the start. I never stood a chance."

I take a deep breath in and moan as another contraction begins. I lean further into Derek's chest and let his fingers soothe my back.

"We're almost there…I can see the dock," he says softly. "You're doing great, Sweetheart."

* * *

"Derek, you're going to have to drive faster. I think my water just broke," I say nervously as struggle to find a comfortable position in the seat.

Derek reaches over and grabs my hand. "We'll be there in two minutes. Don't let little Meatball pop out of the oven before then," he teases lamely.

I glare at him and say, "That is so not funny. Can you just stick to driving?"

* * *

Derek tosses the car keys to the hospital valet and then opens the car door to help me out. "See? Told you I'd get you here. Plenty of time," he says softly as he lowers me into the awaiting wheelchair.

I fold my hands across my stomach and grimace. "Get me up to labor and delivery before this baby pops out and then you can brag," I groan out. "I'm serious, Derek. Get moving!"

* * *

Derek helps me out of the wheelchair after we get checked into a room. He wraps his arm around my waist and says, "Let's get you changed, ok?"

I nod and lean against the bed, and I let Derek remove my clothes and put the hospital gown on me. His soothing hands caress my stomach as I lower myself back onto the bed. He helps me scoot back onto the pillows and then presses a warm kiss onto my forehead. "I love you. You're doing great," he whispers.

Another contraction begins and I close my eyes. I grip Derek's hand in mine and I feel the need to push. "Derek, get the nurse in here," I say breathlessly as the pain radiates through my stomach.

Before he can respond, the labor and delivery nurse rushes in and begins hooking me up to a fetal monitor. "How are you doing?" she asks as she pulls the elastic bands around my waist. We hear the baby's heartbeat begin to echo through the room.

"I need to push," I say as I grip the sheet. The next contraction starts and I cry out in pain.

Derek pushes his forehead against mine. "Meredith, breathe. Try to breathe," he soothes.

I shake my head and say, "No. I need drugs! I need an epidural!"

The nurse replies, "I'll have to check how far dilated you are. And then we'll get you something for the pain, ok?"

I exhale quickly as the contraction subsides.

The nurse checks my cervix and then gives me an apologetic smile. "The good news is…you're a nine…almost a ten. The bad news is…no time for pain killers. You're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way. Sorry, Mom!" She walks to the side of the bed and pushes the call button and orders the nursing staff to get my room set up and to page Dr. Abbott…stat.

There is a flurry of activity in the room as the staff rushes in and gets everything ready.

I close my eyes and inhale sharply as another contraction starts.

* * *

"Ok, Meredith, just give me one good push with your next contraction," Dr. Abbott says from behind her mask.

I take in a few cleansing breaths, and Derek smoothes the hair off of my forehead. "You can do this. I love you," he says softly into my ear as he nuzzles his face against my cheek.

I bury my chin in my chest as my stomach tightens again, and I bear down and push.

"Dad, come see," the doctor encourages.

Derek kisses me quickly on the forehead and then moves down to the end of the bed. "Oh my God, Meredith," he whispers. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. He places one hand over his heart and squeezes my hand with his other one. "I can see our baby. The head is right there. So much dark hair." He blinks and tears spill down his cheeks.

I take in a deep cleansing breath as the contraction eases up, and I squeeze Derek's hand tighter in mine.

"Ok, next contraction and this baby will be out," Dr. Abbott assures me. She smiles at me through her surgical mask as she places her fingers around the baby's head.

"Oh God," I say breathlessly as my stomach tightens. I take a deep breath in and push against the doctor's fingers.

Derek sucks in a breath and runs his hand up and down my thigh. His eyes glisten with tears as he looks down at the baby.

"Almost there, little one," the doctor says.

I push a bit harder and I feel the baby moving quickly out of me.

"There you are, Beautiful!" Dr. Abbott says joyfully as she catches the baby in her hands.

The baby cries loudly, and Derek says, "Meredith, it's a girl. We have another baby girl."

He looks at me and smiles brightly through his tears.

I laugh as tears stream down my cheeks. "I told you so," I say as I smile back at him.

Dr. Abbott holds the baby up and turns her tiny body to face me. "Look at this little beauty. So much hair," she says as she places the baby onto my chest.

I choke down a sob as I place my hands under the baby's head and back. "Oh my goodness. You're so beautiful," I whisper.

Derek leans down and wraps his arm around mine as we cradle the baby against my chest. "She's perfect," Derek says softly. "She's just perfect."

* * *

The nurse takes the baby off of my chest and carries her across the room to the incubator. Derek kisses my lips over and over before pressing his forehead against mine. "I love you, so much," he says for my ears only.

I reach up and cradle his face with my hands. "I love you, too…go be with the baby," I whisper.

Derek kisses me once more and then walks over to my overnight bag as it sits perched against the counter. He pulls out the camera and his grey Yankees cap. He winks at me as he places the hat on his head and walks over to the incubator.

I smile brightly as I watch Derek snap photo after photo of the baby as she is cleaned and given her first physical.

His twinkling eyes catch mine briefly before he leans down toward the bottom of the incubator. The nurse lifts the baby's feet and presses tiny black footprints onto Derek's hat.

Derek watches in awe as they finish cleaning and measuring the baby. He smiles widely as the nurse picks the baby up and hands her to Derek. He lifts the baby to his face and gives her a tender kiss on her cheek. "Look what I've got," he teases as he walks across the room to me.

I giggle and then bite my bottom lip as I try to keep from crying. "Nice hat," I tell him as he scoots himself gently on the bed next to me and places the baby on my chest.

Tears fall from my eyes again as I wrap my arms around her little body. "Hey, Madeline," I whisper against her dark hair. "You're so pretty."

Derek snakes his arm around my back and snuggles up against my side. "What do you think she looks like?" he asks me as he runs his fingers through Madeline's dark soft hair.

I sniffle and look down at her tiny face. She opens her big blue eyes and yawns. "She looks like a Nicole," I say softly. I blink and hot tears stream down my cheeks.

"Mmhm…she does. Madeline Nicole," he says. "Welcome to the world, baby girl."

* * *

"Steve and the kids will be here in a little bit. Why don't you get some rest, and I'll go take some more pictures of Maddie in the nursery," Derek says as he pulls the blanket up to my shoulders. He leans down and kisses my forehead. "Do you need anything? Anything else for the pain?" he asks as he runs his hands tenderly across my cheek.

I smile tiredly at him as I snuggle down under the blanket. "I feel ok...but, I'm starving. Can you bring me something to eat?" I reply. "And bring me my baby when you come back, too. I miss her already." I let out a sleepy breath and close my eyes.

"Food and a baby. Anything else?" Derek teases.

I open my eyes and grin at him. "No. That should do it," I say with a laugh.

* * *

Derek pushes the door slightly open and says, "The kids are here. Are you ready?"

I nod and lift Madeline from my breast. "Yeah, she's done eating. She needs burped, though," I tell him.

Derek walks to the bed and gently takes the baby out of my arms. He places her cheek on his shoulder and tenderly pats her back. "Mm…she smells good. I made the nurse use the lavender baby lotion after Maddie's bath," he says as he winks at me.

Madeline lets out a tiny burp and Derek lifts her from his shoulder. He cradles her against his chest and says softly, "Ok, Madeline. Time to meet your big brother and sister. Are you ready for this?"

Madeline yawns, sticks her thumb in her mouth, and closes her eyes.

"She can hardly contain her enthusiasm," Derek teases as he smiles brightly at me.

Jacob pushes the door open, and he walks hand-in-hand into the room with Emma. They both hesitate at the foot of the bed and stare nervously at me.

I hold my hands out and say, "Hey, guys! You can come hug me. It's ok."

Jacob lifts up Emma onto the bed, and she crawls up next to me. Jacob climbs up on the other side and sits next to me. I give them both a hug, and I try unsuccessfully to blink back tears.

Jacob scrunches his forehead up and says, "Mommy, why are you crying?"

I smile and wipe the tears from my cheeks. "You both feel so big in my arms. You weren't this big this morning, Jacob, were you?"

* * *

Jacob scoots back in the rocking chair and holds his arms out. Derek places the baby in his arms and puts his hands under Jacob's. "What do you think? Isn't she cute?" Derek asks him.

Jacob shrugs his shoulders and looks down at the sleeping baby. "She looks like Emma," he mutters.

Derek chuckles and says, "What did you want her to look like?"

Jacob sighs dramatically and replies, "A meatball!"

Derek and I both laugh, and Derek says, "Jake. That was just her nickname when she was in Mommy's tummy. She wasn't really a meatball."

"Well…she was supposed to be a brother, not a sister. I already have one of those." He sadly shakes his head and pouts.

Madeline opens her eyes and lets out a little squeak as she squirms around to stretch. Jacob pats her lightly on the stomach and places his hand on her cheek. She roots toward his fingers, and Jacob gasps when she begins to suck on his pinky. "Maddie! What are you doing? I'm your brother, not a lollipop!" he says with a giggle.

Derek laughs and lifts Madeline from Jacob's lap. "Emma, want to hold your baby sister?" he asks as he walks to the bed.

Emma sits up straight next to me and holds her hands out. "Baby!" she says with a grin. I wrap my arm around Emma's waist and help her cradle Madeline in her lap. Emma's eyes twinkle as she looks up at me and smiles. She leans over and presses her lips to Madeline's forehead. "I wub you, baby," she whispers.

* * *

"So, there are about fifty people in the hallway waiting to come see the newest little Shepherd. Are you ready for company?" Derek asks as he gently lifts Madeline from my arms. He kisses her cheek as he cradles her against his chest, and then he sits down on the bed next to me and Emma.

I move over slightly, and Derek leans back against my pillow, resting his head next to mine. Jacob climbs up onto the foot of the bed and carefully scoots in between Derek's knees. He lays his head back on Derek's stomach, and then turns on his side to look at Madeline as she lays cradled between Derek and me. Emma lays her head down on my chest and sticks her thumb in her mouth. She reaches over and runs her free hand lightly over Madeline's hair. I smile at Derek, and he presses his lips against my forehead.

"No, I'm not ready for visitors yet. This moment is too perfect," I whisper.

Derek nods and smiles at me. "We are so blessed, Meredith," he says softly.

My breath hitches in my throat and I reply, "We are. We really are so truly blessed."

**Thank you for reading!! And, if you are interested, I'm placing a link on my profile page to a siggy I use on another board for this story. It's listed as my homepage, I believe. It has all the Shepherd kiddos on it...it's really gorgeous. (Thanks again, Lola!!!!) Oh, and comments are greatly appreciated. **


	28. Once in a Lifetime

**A/N: Ok, here it is...last chapter of this monster of a story. I wrote this as a tribute to my love of Saturdays with my own little family. For me, it's the one day a week when we can just relax and be together without the craziness of work and school getting in the way. I hope you enjoyed reading this fluff-fest that I've created over the past year. It's actually kind of hard for me to say good bye to these little fic kids. *sigh* A huge thank you to anyone who has ever left me a kind comment. It means more than you know...so thank you!! If you've been reading, and I've never heard from you...well, now would be a great time to leave me a note! I'd love to thank you personally for reading...anyway, enjoy!**

_24 Saturdays later…_

I open my eyes and groan when the bedroom door flies open and Jacob runs into the room. Derek nuzzles his nose against my neck and sighs as he spoons himself closer behind me.

"Mom! Look! The Tooth Fairy came last night!" Jacob says as he jumps up onto the bed next to me. He holds a plastic bag in front of my face and grins.

"Did she? What did she leave you?" I say sleepily.

Jacob opens the bag and pulls out a piece of paper and a five dollar bill. "Money! And a note! And a Spiderman toothbrush, but I put that in the bathroom already. Look!" He shoves the money and note in front of my face.

"What does the note say?" I ask as I shake my head at his enthusiasm.

He unfolds the note and reads, "Dear Jake, thanks for the tooth. I'm giving it to a sweet little baby, so thanks for keeping it so clean and shiny."

I snort and let out a laugh. Derek lifts his face from my neck and glares playfully at me over my shoulder. I clear my throat and say, "Sorry. Keep going." Derek lays his head back down on the pillow behind me.

Jacob smiles and continues reading. "I hope you like your new tooth brush. Make sure to brush every day! XOXO Tooth Fairy," he reads. He folds the note back up and shoves it into the bag. "I'm going to go brush!" he says as he slides off the bed.

I roll over and look at Derek. "Nice note," I tease as I place my hands on Derek's stubble covered cheeks.

Derek smirks and gives me a quick kiss. "I don't know what was so funny," he says sarcastically.

I quirk my eyebrow at him and say, "Clean and shiny? XOXO, Derek?"

Before he can respond, Emma runs into the room, followed closely by her little black puppy. "Hi, Mommy! Hi, Daddy!" she says with a smile as she peers over the side of the bed.

I roll over to look at her, and Derek and I say in unison, "Hi, Emma."

Emma giggles and turns to run out of the room. "Come on, Bear!" she orders to the little puppy. The puppy lets out a yip and runs after Emma into the hallway.

I roll back over and mutter, "The toddler bed was a horrible idea. She was up twice last night playing in the bathroom sink."

Derek wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me tight against his chest. "Mm…I need to put the baby gate on her door. Did Madeline sleep all night? I didn't hear her," he says sleepily against my cheek before pressing a kiss there.

I push my hands against his chest and glare at him. "Are you serious?"

Derek sucks in a breath as he studies my expression. "Yes?" he says cautiously.

I shake my head and say, "She was up every two hours…cranky…with a fever. Her gums were bothering her. I can't believe you didn't hear all that fussing."

Derek smiles sheepishly. "Sorry. You know I would have helped you if I would have heard her. Next time, wake me up. I was dead to the world as soon as my head hit the pillow last night," he says apologetically.

"No kidding," I mumble. I kiss him quickly and then close my eyes and snuggle up against him. I let out a yawn and sigh tiredly.

"Why don't you go back to sleep and I'll cook breakfast," Derek says as he runs his hands up and down my arms. "My meeting's not until 11:00. Get some rest."

* * *

Madeline starts to cry over the baby monitor, and I let out a frustrated breath, knowing Derek is downstairs in the kitchen, oblivious to her crying. I roll out of bed and pull my robe on. I run my hand through my hair to brush it out of my eyes as I walk out of the bedroom and down the hallway.

"Hey, Maddie," I say softly as I open the door to the nursery.

Madeline looks up at me with her tear-streaked face as she chews on her thumb. She holds her free hand up to me, and I hook my fingers under her arms and lift her out of the crib.

I press a kiss to her forehead and sigh as her fever-pricked skin burns my lips. "I'm so sorry, Sweetie," I whisper as I lay her down on the changing table. Maddie's lips turn into a frown as she continues chewing her thumb. She watches me intently as I quickly change her diaper and zip her yellow footie pajamas back up. I take the baby Tylenol off the shelf on the wall and give her a dose. "Come on, let's go see what Daddy cooked for breakfast," I say softly as I lift her up and hug her against my chest.

Madeline buries her face in my neck and grips my robe with her hand as I carry her down the stairs into the kitchen.

Derek looks up from his spot in front of the stove and says sincerely, "I'm sorry. Did she wake you up? God, I didn't hear her." He places a quick kiss on my lips and then kisses Madeline's forehead. "Hm…feels like her fever is back," he mutters as he runs his hand over her cheeks.

I nod and reply, "Yeah, I gave her some more Tylenol. Hopefully she'll be feeling better soon." I carry her over to her highchair and set her down. She starts to fuss and holds her hands up to me as tears run down her flushed cheeks.

I sigh and pick her back up. She presses her tiny body against my chest as I sit down at the table.

Jacob grins at me and says, "Watch this, Mom." He sticks his tongue through the new gap in his bottom teeth. "Cool, huh?"

Emma laughs as Jacob crosses his eyes and sticks his tongue out again.

Derek carries two plates of blueberry waffles to the table and sets them down in front of Jake and Emma. "Hungry?" he asks me as he walks back to the stove.

I shake my head and say, "Not yet, but coffee would be wonderful."

Derek smiles and pours me a mug of coffee, and kisses my cheek as he sets it down on the table. "What about you? Are you hungry, Princess?" he asks Madeline as he runs his hand up and down her back as she sits on my lap.

She smiles and places her hand on Derek's mouth.

"Oatmeal it is, then, since you asked so nicely," Derek says before poking his finger gently on her nose. He walks to the counter and quickly mashes up a banana, mixes it with baby oatmeal and formula, and brings the bowl of mush to the table.

He lifts her from my lap and sets her into the highchair. Madeline starts to cry as he offers her a bite of oatmeal. "Come on, Maddie…it's your favorite," he says.

Maddie starts to cry harder, and he lifts her back out of the highchair. He carries her to the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of formula. She quickly snatches it out of his hands and sticks the cold nipple in her mouth. A hiccup escapes her mouth as her crying subsides, and she closes her eyes as she drinks her bottle.

Derek cradles her in his arms and kisses her warm forehead. He sighs as he looks at the clock on the microwave. "I'm sorry, Mer. I've got to shower and get ready to leave. Can you take over?" he says as he carries Madeline to me.

I smile at him as he transfers her to my arms. Maddie looks up at me with her tear-filled eyes and places her tiny hand on my lips as she drinks her bottle.

Derek walks out of the kitchen, and Panda runs in, followed by Bear. They both scurry under the table and start barking.

Jacob yells, "Emma! Make your dog be quiet!" He places his hands over his ears and looks angrily at his little sister.

Emma mimics him and places her hands over her ears as she glares back at him. "Be quiet, Jake!" she yells back.

Maddie spits the bottle out of her mouth and sits up, looking around to see what the ruckus is. The dogs continue barking under the table, and Jake and Emma scream at each other.

Madeline looks up at me and starts crying again. I run my hand through her soft hair and kiss her warm forehead.

I let out an exasperated breath and mutter, "This place is a zoo."

* * *

The doorbell rings and I carry Madeline with me as I walk to the front door. "Cris, what are you doing here?" I ask as I open the door while juggling a fussing baby in my arms.

Cristina looks at Madeline, and then at me. "I made attending," she blurts out.

I shift Madeline to my other arm and say, "You made attending." Maddie lays her head down on my shoulder and pulls my hair with one of her hands as she snuggles against me.

"I made attending," Cristina says again.

I pull Madeline's fingers out of my hair and say, "So…you're kind of my boss now?"

Cristina bites her bottom lip and replies, "I'm kind of your boss now."

We stand facing each other for a long silent moment and then Cristina says, "Are you going to let me in?"

I shake myself out of my trance and say, "Yeah." I make room for Cristina to walk through the door, and I follow her into the living room where we both plop down onto the couch.

Jacob and Emma run in from the kitchen and jump onto the couch when they see Cristina.

"Aunt Cris!" Jacob says. "I lost a tooth!" He smiles at her and sticks his tongue through the gap.

Emma says, "Cwis! I lost a toof!" She sticks her tongue out at Cristina.

"No you didn't, Emma!" Jacob yells.

"No you didn't, Jake!" Emma yells back.

Cristina looks over at me and shakes her head.

Jacob jumps off the couch and says, "Mom, make Emma stop copying me! She's annoying!" He runs up the stairs and slams the door to his bedroom.

Emma climbs off the couch and scurries up the stairs. I let out an exasperated breath when she starts pounding on Jacob's door and they start yelling at each other again.

Cristina scrunches up her forehead at me and says, "Is it too early for alcohol?"

I snort and lay my head back on the couch cushion and close my eyes. Madeline squirms in my lap and carefully pulls herself up to a standing position against my chest. She places her warm hands on my cheeks and gives me a slobbery kiss on my chin. I sigh as I open my eyes and watch Madeline stick her fingers into her mouth to chew on them.

Cristina studies my face for a long moment and then says, "Are you ok?"

I shrug and reply, "I'm exhausted, Cristina. It just feels like…we went from having two kids to having twenty-seven kids. It's complete insanity around here, all the time, every day. It's a zoo."

Cristina gives me a sympathetic smile and scoots next to me on the couch. She lays her head against my shoulder and reaches her hands out to Madeline.

Maddie smiles widely at Cristina as drool runs down her chin.

Cristina scrunches up her nose as she lifts the baby out of my grasp and sits her down on her lap. "Gross, Maddie. You're like your own personal slobber fountain," she mutters.

"She's teething, you idiot," I say sarcastically. I sigh dramatically as Jacob and Emma rush down the stairs, followed by their dogs.

Panda jumps up onto the couch next to Cristina's feet. Cristina sniffs and then pushes her toe against his stomach. "Ugh…Jake. Your dog smells awful. Get him away from me," she says in disgust.

Jake runs over to Panda and takes a big whiff of his fur. He shrugs his shoulders as if to say 'smells good to me!', and runs through the kitchen and out the back door with his dog.

Emma picks up Bear and carries him over to Cristina. "Smell Bear!" she says with a grin as she holds the squirming black puppy in her arms.

Cristina shifts Madeline in her lap and says, "I'm not smelling that disgusting fur ball, Emma."

Emma narrows her eyes at Cristina and says angrily, "Smell Bear, Cwis!" She holds the puppy as close to Cristina's face as she can reach with her short little arms.

Cristina mutters, "God, she acts just like you, Meredith. She might look like Derek, but she acts just…like…you." She glares playfully at me and then grunts as Emma shoves the puppy onto her chest.

"Smell Bear!" Emma orders as she points to the puppy.

I laugh as Cristina shrugs her shoulders and unwillingly takes a small sniff of Bear's fur. She pauses and then takes a bigger sniff. "Is that…Calvin Klein?" Cristina asks as she shoves Maddie back onto my lap. She picks up Bear and sniffs him again.

I groan and say, "Emma, did you get into Daddy's aftershave again?"

Emma grins at me and claps her hands. "Bear smells wike Daddy!" she says happily.

Maddie squirms and wiggles until I set her down on the floor. She slowly and meticulously crawls over to the toy box and pulls herself up to a standing position. She turns her head and grins widely at me at her own accomplishment.

I smile at her, and Cristina and I watch Emma run over to the toy box and busy herself and her baby sister with an armful of Barbie dolls.

We sit in silence as we watch Emma take all the clothes off of all the Barbies. Maddie takes turns chewing on all the naked dolls' feet, giving each one a thorough slobber bath.

I take a tired breath in and exhale slowly. "I can't believe you're kind of my boss," I mutter as I lay my head down on Cristina's shoulder.

Cristina smirks and says, "You're only six months behind me in the program. Your day will come. Until then…you can be my sidekick. You know, like…Batman and Robin…only we fight heart disease instead of bad guys. You can be Robin. I'll be Batman."

I lift my head and glare playfully at her. "You're such an idiot," I tease.

* * *

Derek walks in the door, drops his briefcase next to the wall, and smiles at us as he walks into the living room. He sits down in the recliner and continues grinning sheepishly at me. Jacob and Emma look away from the television as they lay on their stomachs on the carpet and say in unison, "Hi, Daddy!"

I raise my eyebrows expectantly and say, "Well? What happened? What did the board say?" Maddie pulls herself up in front of the couch and I lift her onto my lap.

Derek runs his hands through his hair and says, "Richard's officially retiring at the end of October. They offered me Chief." Derek smiles at me, and I shove Maddie onto Cristina's lap.

I stand up and walk over to Derek and sit down on his lap. "They offered you Chief?" I say as I place my hands on his slightly stubbly cheeks.

"They offered me Chief," he says softly as he wraps his arms around my waist.

We smile at each other and then I press my lips onto his and give him a long, slow kiss.

Cristina groans and Jacob mutters, "They always do that, Cris."

Emma sits up and says, "Stop kissing my Daddy!" I pull my face away from Derek's and giggle at Emma's expression as she glares at me.

I turn back to Derek and kiss him again quickly. "We should celebrate," I tell him before pecking his lips again.

Cristina groans again and says sarcastically, "You're not going to celebrate right here, in front of everybody are you?" She places Madeline onto the floor and shakes her head at us.

I laugh and say, "Maybe."

Maddie crawls over to Jacob and sits down in front of him. She smiles at him as he sits up and wraps his legs in a circle around her. "Hey, Maddie. You're such a cutie," he says as he squishes her cheeks with his hands.

Maddie smiles at him and then bites down on his thumb as he brushes it against her mouth.

Jacob lets out a squeal as he pulls his thumb out of her mouth. "Ouch! Maddie's got a tooth!" he says as he inspects his injured thumb.

Maddie giggles and sticks her fingers into her mouth.

I climb off of Derek's lap and sit down on the floor next to Madeline. I pull her bottom lip down slightly and then run my finger against her gum. "You do have tooth, baby girl. It finally popped through," I tell her as she chews on my finger.

Jacob smiles widely and sticks his tongue through the gap in his tooth. "Is that my lost tooth?" he asks me.

I smile and shrug my shoulders.

Jacob grins and smashes Madeline's cheeks with his hands. "You're welcome for the tooth, Maddie!" he says.

Cristina groans from her spot on the couch and mutters, "I'm leaving before I vomit."

I look up at her as she walks to the front door and say, "Dinner?"

She turns and nods at me and replies, "Dinner. We're definitely celebrating."

* * *

I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and finish putting on my mascara. I give myself one final glance in the mirror and shove all my makeup back into the drawer. Derek's reflection catches my attention as he sits on the bed putting his shoes on. I see Jacob walk into the bedroom and stand in between Derek's legs.

"Daddy, can you help me do my tie?" Jacob asks as he holds his blue Batman tie in front of Derek's chest.

"Sure, bud," Derek says. He tenderly places the tie around Jacob's neck and fastens the knot expertly as Jacob watches his every move intently.

"Daddy?" Jacob asks as he runs his hands over his tie to inspect Derek's work.

Derek smiles and brushes a lock of hair off of Jacob's forehead. "Yeah?" he replies.

Jacob smiles and says, "You're going to be the Chief?"

Derek returns his smile and says, "Maybe. Mommy and I have to talk about it first."

Jacob's smile widens and he says, "If you're the Chief, do you finally get to be Mommy's boss?"

Derek chuckles and shakes his head. "Ah, Jake. I'll never be Mommy's boss. Ever," he replies with a grin.

Jacob's eyebrows raise in confusion. "Even if you were the President of the United States of America?" he asks.

Derek sighs and shakes his head again. "Even then, Jacob. Mommy would still be my boss," he answers.

"Wow," Jacob whispers.

* * *

I fasten the last button on Madeline's yellow dress and then lift her up to my chest. Emma grins up at me and then twirls around in a circle to make her light blue dress fluff out. "You both look like angels," I tell them. I kiss Maddie on the cheek and she smiles at me.

I hold my hand out to Emma and she places her tiny hand in mine. We walk carefully down the stairs and into the living room where Derek and Jacob are waiting for us.

They look up from their spot in the recliner, and Derek holds his hand over his heart. "Wow, you're all so pretty," he says.

I smile at him and say, "Are you boys ready?"

Jacob jumps off of Derek's lap and they both walk over to me. Maddie reaches out for Derek, and he lifts her from my arms. "Hey, Beautiful," he whispers before pressing his lips onto her forehead.

Emma drops my hand and runs in front of Derek. "Wook, Daddy," she says with a smile. She turns around in a circle and makes her dress float out.

Derek grins at her and says, "You look like a princess, Emma." He holds his free hand out to her and she grabs it. Derek winks at me and leads the way out the front door.

Jacob grabs my hand and says, "You look like a rock star, Mom."

* * *

I tear a tiny piece off of my roll and stick it in Madeline's mouth. She munches on it with her gums and smiles up at me happily as she chews.

Cristina clinks her knife on her water glass and waits for the table to quiet down. She lifts her glass up and we all follow suit. "I'd like to make a toast…to Derek…our soon-to-be Chief of Surgery," she says with a grin. "Congratulations, Derek. You're going to be a great Chief." She offers him a smile, and we all remain motionless.

Derek scrunches up his forehead and says, "That's it?"

Cristina looks around the table at everyone as we sit silent and unmoving. "Yes?" she says in confusion.

Alex sighs dramatically and says, "What Yang means to say is, just because you're the new Chief, don't expect her cardio-god ass to do anything you tell her to." He holds his glass up and everyone but Cristina clinks theirs against it.

Derek glares playfully at her and takes a sip of his champagne. "Is that right, Yang?" he teases.

Cristina shoots Alex a death glare and she says, "Can someone pass the bread?"

I laugh and hand her the breadbasket. "Smooth," I whisper as she yanks the basket out of my hands.

"Shut up," she mutters. She sticks a roll into her mouth and bites a piece off.

Derek laughs and then holds his glass up again. "I'd also like to make a toast. To Cristina…for being named the new Cardio Attending at Seattle Grace. Congratulations, Cris," he says sincerely.

We all lift our glasses again and toast Cristina's accomplishment as she smiles appreciatively at Derek.

"I'll try not to torture you too much, once I take over for Richard," Derek continues. He winks at her and takes a small sip of his champagne.

Cristina rolls her eyes and takes a gulp out of her glass.

Alex clears his throat and says, "Well, since we're celebrating…I'd also like to make an announcement." He smiles at Izzie and she entwines her hand with his under the table. "Izzie and I are moving to Chicago. We've both been offered positions at Children's Memorial. I'll be doing a fellowship in the neo-natal unit, and Iz is being offered an OB attending position." Alex smiles at me, and I smile back at him in surprise.

"Wow, that's…amazing," I stammer through my stunned response. "Congratulations." I lift my glass again and we all toast them.

Jacob looks across the table at me and smiles. I smile back at him.

"Anyone else?" Derek asks as he holds his champagne glass out.

Lexie elbows Steve in the gut and he grunts. "Lexie and I both got accepted into our Fellowship programs," he says quickly.

"I lost my first tooth!" Jacob says excitedly as he holds up his glass of water. "And it got put in Maddie's head!"

Derek chuckles and says, "Anyone else?"

Everyone is quiet, and Jacob says, "What about you, Mom? What happened to you that's special?"

I bite my bottom lip and say intelligently, "Uh…" I look down at Madeline's bright blue eyes as she smiles up at me, and my heart melts a little. Emma sits up on her knees on the chair next to me and leans her head tiredly against my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her tiny waist and smile at Jacob.

Alex grins and says, "Your mom's a rock star, Jacob."

Jacob shrugs and we all clink our glasses together one final time. The food arrives, and Derek winks at me as Emma climbs onto my lap and nestles herself against my chest. I bury my nose in the top of her dark curls and run my hand up and down her back.

* * *

Emma raises her arms in the air and I pull her purple Snow White nightgown over her head. She climbs up onto her toddler bed and lays her curl-covered head onto her pillow. I pull her comforter up over her belly and tuck her in.

"Way down, Bear!" she orders as she points to her little black puppy.

Bear whimpers and lays his head down on his paws.

I laugh at her bossiness and then place a soft kiss onto her forehead. "I love you, Emma," I whisper as I rub my nose against hers.

She reaches up and grabs my face with her soft hands. "I wub you, Mommy," she whispers back. She leans up and rubs her nose against mine.

I pick her stuffed puppy up from the foot of the bed and tuck it under the blanket next to her stomach. "Good night, baby girl," I say softly before pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

Emma smiles at me and rolls over onto her side, clutching her stuffed puppy tightly between her arms.

I flip her light switch off and close her door halfway. I walk down the hall to Jacob's room, and smile at him as he looks up from his book. He scoots over in his bed and makes room for me, and I lay down on top of his covers next to him.

"What are you reading me tonight?" I ask him as I place my hands behind my head and sink into his pillow.

Jacob grins sheepishly at me and says, "Bad Kitty."

I groan and say, "Again? You've had this book for almost a month. Aren't first graders supposed to go to the library more often than that in school?"

Jacob laughs and says, "We go every Tuesday, Mommy. But I always check this one out because it's funny. Are you ready?" He opens the book and starts reading to me.

I smile as I lay and listen to him read to me. He slams the book shut as he finishes the last page, and he smiles at me as he tosses it onto the floor. "Wasn't that awesome?" he asks me as he rolls onto his side to look at me.

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Yep. Even more awesome than the first twenty times you read it to me," I tease.

Jacob wraps his arms around my waist and smiles at me. "Do you like being a mom?" he asks as he scrunches up his freckled nose at me.

I reach up and brush a lock of dark hair from his forehead. "Of course I do. I love being a mom…more than anything else in the whole entire world," I reply.

"Even more than being a doctor?" he asks.

I nod. "Even more than that."

"Because you get to be the boss?" he asks with a sly grin.

I wiggle my eyebrows at him and say, "Exactly." I sit up and climb off the bed. "Good night, Jake. I love you, big guy." I pull his comforter up to his armpits, and bend over and give him a kiss. I snap my fingers at Panda, and he jumps up onto the bed. Jacob wraps his arms around his dog and closes his eyes.

I turn the light off and shut Jacob's door. I notice the lamp on in the nursery, so I walk down the hall and lean against the doorframe.

Derek smiles up at me from his spot in the rocking chair as he slowly rocks Maddie against his chest.

"She's still awake?" I say softly.

Derek shakes his head and presses his lips onto Madeline's forehead. "I don't think she wants to be. Her fever came back. I gave her some more Tylenol," he whispers.

I walk into the room and place my hand on Maddie's cheek. "Mm…she's warm," I say softly.

Maddie opens her tired eyes and looks up at me as she sticks her thumb into her mouth. I lean down and kiss her gently twice on the forehead, and then she closes her eyes and buries her face against Derek's neck.

Derek runs his hand up and down her back to soothe her to sleep as he rocks slowly.

I smile tiredly at him and say, "I'll meet you in bed."

He nods, and I give him a quick kiss before leaving the nursery.

I walk to my bedroom and swiftly change into a pair of pajama bottoms and one of Derek's t-shirts. I crawl into bed and snuggle down under the covers and close my eyes. I smile to myself when I hear Derek over the baby monitor as he begins to hum softly to Madeline.

* * *

Derek crawls into bed behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I open my sleepy eyes and roll over to face him. "Did she finally go to sleep?" I ask as I cuddle up against him.

Derek sighs and says, "Mmhm…I hope she stays asleep. She's miserable." He snakes his hands under my shirt and tenderly runs his fingers up and down my back. He presses his warm lips onto mine and kisses me gently.

"So," I say quietly as I pull my face away from his. "Are you ready to continue celebrating your promotion?" I smile at him and place my hands on his cheeks. I kiss him again and moan as he pulls me tight against his chest.

"Mm…about that," he says as he places his forehead against mine. He sucks in a breath and exhales tiredly.

I pull away slightly and look into his eyes. "What?" I ask as I search his eyes for explanation. "What aren't you telling me?" I press my hands against his chest and hook my ankle behind his knee.

Derek sighs and says, "I didn't officially accept the position."

"What…what do you mean?" I ask as I scrunch my forehead up in confusion.

Derek offers me a small smile and shakes his head. "I'm just…I'm not sure I want it," he says.

"What?" I sit up and lean back against the headboard. "What do you mean you don't want it? You being Chief…is the reason you came to Seattle, Derek. It's been your dream for the past nine years."

Derek nods and rolls over onto his stomach. He scoots up and wraps his arm around my waist, and presses a kiss onto my arm. "It was the reason I came here, Meredith. To be Chief. It's what I wanted nine years ago. But…things change. I changed. My priorities…changed. What I want…changed. Being Chief…would mean spending more time at the hospital than I want to commit to," he explains.

I swallow nervously and run my hand through his hair as he looks up at me through the darkness. "You're giving up being Chief because of the kids and me?" I whisper.

Derek scoffs and sits up. He shakes his head and places his hands on my cheeks. "No. I'm _not_ giving up the kids and you so I can be Chief…do you understand what I'm saying?"

I feel tears forming in my eyes and I blink rapidly. "No, I don't. I'm not letting you give up being Chief. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for you," I say as I brush a hot tear from my cheek.

Derek sighs and says, "Meredith, me getting to rock Madeline to sleep at night…is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Me teaching Jake to ride a bike without his training wheels…is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Me taking Emma fishing every Sunday morning and watching her squeal when she reels in a tiny little trout…is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Being Chief…I have plenty of time to be Chief. I don't think now's the right time…I would miss too many once in a lifetime opportunities. Our kids are growing up too fast...and I don't want to miss watching them grow up." He brushes the pads of his thumbs against my tear-stained cheeks and smiles at me.

I run my tongue against my bottom lip and sniffle. "I don't know what to say," I whisper.

Derek pulls me against his chest and I bury my face in his shirt. "There's nothing to say, Meredith. I choose you. I choose this family. Someday, I might choose to be Chief. But right now, I'm passing. It's not the right time," he explains as he runs his hand up and down my back.

I pull my face away from his chest and look up at him. We sit silently in the dark for a long moment until we hear Madeline begin to whimper over the baby monitor.

Derek runs his thumb along my bottom lip, and then he leans over and kisses me gently. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. "I love you," I say breathlessly as I pull my lips from his.

Derek presses his forehead against mine and says, "I love you, too…so much it hurts."

Madeline begins to cry loudly, and Derek kisses me quickly before climbing out of bed. "I'll be back eventually," he teases as he walks to the door.

"Just…bring her in here, Derek. It's going to be a long night," I tell him as I lay back down and snuggle up under the blanket.

Derek nods and leaves the room, returning a few moments later with Maddie.

I smile as he carries her over to the bed, and she reaches her arms out to me. "Mm…poor baby," I say softly as I take her from Derek's hands. I lay her down against my chest, and she sticks her thumb in her mouth and begins to chew it. Her blue eyes twinkle in the moonlight as Derek lays down on the other side of her. "Go to sleep, Madeline," I whisper as Derek lays his arm tenderly on top of my hip. He bends forward and kisses her on the top of her head, and she closes her eyes and begins to suck her thumb.

Derek smiles softly at me, and I smile back at him. "Go to sleep, Derek," I whisper.

Derek grins and shakes his head. "So bossy," he teases as he places his hand on my cheek. I giggle and place my hand on top of his. "You love it," I tell him.

Derek leans forward and gives me a soft, lingering kiss. "I do. I love it," he whispers. He kisses me again and says, "Goodnight, Sweetheart. I love you." He lays his head on his pillow and closes his eyes.

I close my eyes and say, "I love you, too."

_The End_


End file.
